Are pain fantasies normal?

It seems to me that the loss of control is not just normal but necessary. Part of the thrill of pain is the anticipation or fear, if the fear isn't real then everything that follows is diluted and fake. Real pain causes real fear and brings on real thrills, within reason.

Here is a note I wrote to a guy who is going to give me a series spankings when I get back to LA later tis month. I did have the opportunity to experience this fantasy a few times a few years ago when I stayed with a guy I Oregon a fe times for a few days.

Once before you spanked me a few days apart, I have wanted to do that again. I told you once I wished I live close to you so you could make come ever day for a spanking, maybe we can do that for a few days. I would have to submit my sore bruised upturned bare ass to you every day for a few days, Maybe that would get rid of my fantasy of having to submit to discipline from you every day, or make it worse. I have dreamed of having to submit my bare ass for discipline before the effects of the last paddling wore off, Now is my chance.

I have always had this fantasy of living as a living as a sub with a Dom and being subjected to discipline at his whim.

I look forward to being over your lap or stand in front of you to have you lay that strap,those paddles, canes and the awful bath brush I gave you to my bare ass then reward you for your attention to my discipline needs.

Rob

I think that fantasies are one thing, I am not a fantasy person but real PAIN is totally different. That is not even close to being normal..a little stinging pain yes I get it but real hurtful pain..NO

Marisa

You are right, but the problem is the fact that there will exist forms of an illness, that in order to cure these ones you will have hold on for years. I know upon this: In 1992 my dermatologist had me given up with an extreme form of an allergy against the sun. I had the fortune to find a therapy against this without any help of a doctor. After seven years with a lot of pain due to the therapy the allergy against the sun was gone for ever. So, in the case of the survival say never: "but real hurtful pain..NO"

I fantasize about pain as well to the point of just short of torture. It is not what I like in real time but it sure makes me wet thinking about it as a fantasy. In real time I enjoy pleasurable pain, I don't like it beyond that point but I can fantasize 😃

I also fantasize about pain as well to the point of just short of torture. So, pain fantasies are totally normal for me, of course in real life pain is erotic for me only during role plays.

As a kid I fantasized being the Indian, captured and tortured (tied up, stripped to the waist, and flogged, though i didn't know that word then) and it seemed "normal" to me; it was what I wanted to do. Dominating someone else seemed cruel and mean and bad but suffering, enduring, and triumphing by enduring appealed. Seems to be the root of some adult fantasy too.

Dont think they are abnormal. as long if you transform them to reality do it safe and sane

My question would be - what's normal got to do with it?

If you enjoy those fantasies, just enjoy them. Feed stray cats, help old ladies across the road, be nice to waiters, and if you like imagining your nipples being teased with hot wax and pliers - I think you would still be a good person.

I think everything is normal if give u plsure

It's completely normal. You are a masochist and there are many people who share the same interest. You won't know your pain threshold until and unless you play with it, just remember to play it safe.

I am a Sadist and enjoy giving pain to My lady. I enjoy the cane on her bare buttocks (she is a masochist and enjoy it too). I caned her on a regular basis. This is usually part of a play. I also enjoy giving her "gyno exams" where I open the speculum to its maximum. she will also get saline injections. This is done very slowly and I make sure that it hurts. (Cold saline is mmmmm). the injections are usually in the upper outside quadrant. By the time all this is done, she is as wet as can be and wants to cum desperately. this is where I like orgasm denial so much lol. But only for a while.

This may not be a fantasy but its happening very regularly and she fantasize about getting it almost daily

> Is it normal to have fantasies about being restrained and having no control over what happens to you?

Not including pain, the above is among the commonest of sexual fantasies.

Humans are distinguished by the hackable plumbing of our reward system, including the flexible way that varied behaviors/sensations can be associated with pleasure, sexual fulfilment. Some kinks may be born, others are learned. An aspect is cultural. Porn has made secrets of the dungeon glitterati available to fuel anyone's fantasies. I am attracted to watch women and men themselves excited and fulfilled in scenes that include pain, fear, desperation. I change, so that yuck becames hot. Mirror neurons are a system in the brain that works so that witnessing an act fires the same circuits as when directly involved in the act. So if you observe a lot of scenes involving pain, you are connecting it (via vicarious experience) to your reward center. See how much pleasure people experience vicariously in the pain of the boxing match, or the grueling agonies of the Tour de France.

There is a video of a woman who lets her breasts be nailed down to a wooden table. It is so hot. Seeing it changes something in my reward system, opening the possibility of embracing pain and fears instead of the usual avoidance. Maybe I decide to substitute the decisions and opinions of another for my own, especially regarding my own pleasure/pain? How kinky to hack my own reward system?? Your reward system is trained to the social agenda in school, the malls, and the military. We kinksters are taking ownership of our rewards systems, twisting them to our deviant ends :-)

Normal also includes the (kinky) outliers like us who are represented in many if not all cultures :-)

You can fantasize about anything, because you can afford it. What difference does it make if it's okay or not if you like it?

I think my desires for restraint stem from when i was a boy, and had to do as bidden by adults, no choice or rights for boys back then, which incidentally i think better than today, thats why i think a doctor should be authoritarian and tell me what is going to be done, rather than ask my permission.

Pain i think can affect the mind differently depending on how it is percieved, from heightening pleasure to torture, which in itelf can be devilishly gratifying, perversely for the the guy in charge, if not the victim.

Everybody's version of normal is different

I've never been a fan of pain for any reason, and it's an instant anti-aphrodisiac for me. Now some sensations that might be described by some as mild pain like a very light spanking or a crampy enema are tolerable. Now the fantasy or real life experience of being restrained or bound so that another person can subject you to various sexual and related stimuli as in the OP's question I think are quite common. Being bound but knowing you'll experience perhaps unknown but likely exciting or sexual stimuli while having confidence that you are nonetheless safe is very appealing to many, including myself. For example, I love taking enemas, especially wearing rubber suits and hoods, and I enjoy doing it by myself without question. However I quickly learned in my 20's that if an interested, cooperative and trustworthy partner did it to me after restraining me, the loss of control and thus submission to their whims was even more exciting than the original enemas.

So safe restraint or bondage by a partner is often a strong aphrodisiac. The exact nature of what you might either fantasize or do in restraint in real life just depends on what you find sexually arousing and satisfying. Though it's incomprehensible to me personally, many on Zity are truly excited or aroused by pain, so they might frequently fantasize about pain while bound. For me, it's several kinks, but frequently including large, long embarrassing humiliating enemas dressed in a lot of rubber given to me by my fantasy Domme. Now I do enjoy those enemas being very large, 4-5 quarts, with the Domme forcing me to hold them for a long time as I deeply enjoy the bulk and weight and distention from the enemas, but no obvious or frank pain except perhaps a bit of mild/moderate cramping. To me, a lot of internal enema pressure producing outward distention are to me merely strong sensations, not pain. Bring it on!

I'll leave all the super-crampy frankly painful enemas, no matter what the size and retention time, to my more adventurous Zity friends. We all enjoy what we want. Play strong but safe.............

Eric

I think there is a difference...between pain for pain's sake, and being a bottom or sub.

I don't get off on all kinds of pain. Not at all.

But spanking, I do. I don't want to be cut or heavily bruised, but I can handle some welts.

I've been mildly flogged all over, and that was more like a massage than pain. I had goosebumps from it, and was floating up the clouds!

I'd say the embarrassment factor with a spanking is as high as the pain.

So I wouldn't say that is true masochism, but someone with a touch of sadist streak appeals to me.

I sure hope so because I have them! In reality don’t enjoy lasting pain or pain that breaks the skin. But I love a little spanking, anal spanking, and I LOVE sharp or stinging pain administered to my breasts or nipples. (I.e. breast spanking with hand, belt, crop, suction devices, wartenburg wheels). I also enjoy things that are “uncomfortable” but not painful. I like being stretched by speculums - vaginal or rectal - just enough to be uncomfortable but not causing serious pain or any lasting laxity. In fantasy though I do fantasize about the pain being more intense. I find the idea of a brutal session with serious pain very exciting, but I’ve found that doesn’t actually line up with the sensations I enjoy physically.

Mine started as a kid. Imagining myself tied to a post by the Indians who then tortured me and I didn't know about sex yet but it had a tingling in the back of the head effect. Maybe the beginnings of a sub mentality though now I can switch as well but that idea of being bound, "tortured," made to obey/confess remains strong.

I have been submissive all my life ever since my baby sitter sexually abused me. She played with my penis the 2 weeks she took care of me. My first experience of sexual pain was when my friends mother decided we needed to be punished for all the verbal fighting we were doing over who was cheating at games. She made us undress in front of her then she tied us by our hand from hooks in the garage ceiling we were only 6 inches apart. When she would spank our bare butts we would try to get away so she tied some twine on his little nut and then on mine. When we tried to get away we would pull away it hurt. I was in heaven although I cried! I was abut 12 at the time. When I move to another part of town I was friends with two brothers my age. We love hitting each other in the nuts and making the poor victim fall to the ground in pain!

My first experience of sexual pain was when my friends mother decided we needed to be punished for all the verbal fighting we were doing over who was cheating at games. She made us undress in front of her then she tied us by our hand from hooks in the garage ceiling we were only 6 inches apart.

Tied to hooks in the garage naked by your friend's mother? Then testicles tied up and spanked?

I'm trying to figure how many years in jail that would mean for whoever did something like this to kids.

MelJeffMo's post #111 about two naked 12yo boys tied up and tortured by the mother of one of them - assuming the post is true - is perhaps the sickest sexual anecdote l've heard. But thinking about it makes it sound highly implausible. For one thing, what would Mel's parents have thought - and done - if they heard about it? (Even as fantasy, it's only momentarily titillating, because it's so wild. Is that not so, bdsm fans, and others?)

– Ken

The thread asks “Are Pain Fantasies normal?” Hoping @MelJeffMo first post on Zity was a fantasy. Sounds like he was abused as a child, so maybe his parents were abusive as well.

I have not desired pain as a fantasy but only in remembering it. I only remember once my receiving a painful spanking. Dad was pissed at me because I had put a full can of something on my sister's back it fell off and blacked her fingernail and fell off. Dad took me to the basement and stripped my pants and briefs off. Put me over his knee and when I tried to to get away he grabbed my little boy nuts and held me in place! When mom spanked me I would fling my arm back and it would hurt her arm so she went to making me strip naked and stand there naked for 30 minutes. I would be in my bedroom but anyone in the house could see me because the door was open. I fit my exhibitionism and my need to be submissive!

I never dished pain out but depending on the situation it aroused me. I was sexually abused by 5 neighbor boys repeatedly. I tried to not get aroused when they were forcing me to oral and anal.

I used to think a lot about painful shots in the bottom when I was a child. As a teen and into my adult years I developed an anal fetish. At some point I wondered if there was ever a medical reason for an injection in the anal area, but I’ve never heard of it. I’ve wondered about it, imagined it, tried to imagine the pain involved! Ouch!

Then I came across this and posted it to Zity recently. Very intense and honestly erotic and exciting to see and hear. https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1140301

I used to think a lot about painful shots in the bottom when I was a child. As a teen and into my adult years I developed an anal fetish. At some point I wondered if there was ever a medical reason for an injection in the anal area, but I’ve never heard of it. I’ve wondered about it, imagined it, tried to imagine the pain involved! Ouch!

I had an infected perianal cyst lanced. First without lidocaine or what ever they use. They decided they had to open it up more so I got the shot as well. Not horrible, but not fun!

I suspect most people into spanking and/or BDSM that involve pain fantasize about scenes. So, yes, it’s normal

@gwhap I had an infected perianal cyst lanced.

Made me cringe as it brings back memories of having a cyst squeezed very firmly till it bleed by a proctologist to empty it. Luckily nothing more was needed after that - but the pain was horrible while it done…

One or better yet two persons, for me one of each sex, is the epidemy of sexual pleasure. I enjoy giving or receiving a good bare bottom spanking complete with scolding and knowing the person giving the spanking is enjoyer her part also. This is a life long fantasy, made real on occaision, Delicious says it all.

OTK4fun

Really being stripped bare a little at a time adds to the suspense, shame, Taboo, etc. of it all. And the price is right. Life is too short to fell guilty over something as tame as this. Normal consenting adults says it best!

OTK4fun