Hello people. I need some advice about an anal problem

Hiya

i am currently away looking after my mother in law .

now she has a bad back at the moment and needs 24hour care .

so muggings here got the job as i live close.

i was wondering why the inlaw keeps having stains from her bottom on the bed covers . sofa and nighty .

she is 74 years old by the way .

so i was actually asked to wipe her bottom and i saw that her hole is like lips,i know she has had 5 children in the past and my partner has said that his parents are so old fashioned that anal sex would never have happend .

so we know that is not the issue .

is there anything that can be done to repair this problem .

i am phoning the doctor in the morning .

but im also wondering what would cause this to relax the hole as such to let it drop in the way that it has .

i thought she had a relaxed bowel and she was leaking due to that .

but finding this poor woman has a virtually open hole has shocked me .

can anybody help with advice on what can be done to repair this .

thanks sherrie

Sounds like a rectal prolapse gynoslave, where part of the rectum is outside the body. This is likely to be holding the anus open.

The condition can be confused with external haemorrhoid's and your relative should be seen by the hospital straight away. Don't go to the GP first or she'' be on a waiting list and you know what that means. Put her in a car and take her to A & E. Even then you might get the run around, especially if you indicate that you are looking after her. Say that no one is able to be with her - I know that sounds hard on her - but if you don't then she'll suffer far longer.

Good luck to you and above all mum in law

Thank you BiGK ill do it now .

oh i think she may have been like this for a couple of years with out telling any of us .,

thanks again . xx

Poor Mum! And poor you too! I think a lot of older folks don't want their children or their spouses to see them in a vulnerable situation. You are quite correct that this may have been going on for several years, and she has just kept it hidden. I think BigK has hit the nail on the head, but there are other problems that could cause this as well. My mother has Crohn's Disease and she is fecally incontinent from time to time. If Mum has decreased blood flow or nerve damage, she may not even feel that it's happening.

So good that you discovered the problem and are there for help and support. Best regards to both of you!

Gynoslave, of course you can't take a picture of MIL's bottom however based on your description I suggest she has a sentinel skin tag which has likely developed as a result of years of chronic constipation and resulting anal fissures. If a fissure becomes chronic the scar tissue will form a sentinel skin tag which over a period of years may become pronounced, and often have the appearance of the labia. The usual indicators are that it is painless and does not excrete any mucous. It is a relatively common condition in geriatric patients however you should bring it to her doctor's attention at her next visit.

I would not take her to the A&E for an embarrassing and lengthy wait unless she is bleeding, in which case certainly do not hesitate to get immediate attention.

.

That is a excellent description of what i saw . its just like that .

i have booked a doctor to come round in the morning .

if it is a problem they will send for an abulance straight away .

where we are its a small town so it will be here fast also the hospital is 2 streets away .

thank you ill describ it that way to the doctor in the morning . .

yes i agree ladydoc wefeel the same here to respect the elders .we can learn so much from them . i think the older generations dont tend to get help with anything they are

very secret in the way that body parts are to be kept to ones self rather than telling a doctor . 3 years ago i lost my nan to breast cancer . she didnt tell anybody about it untill it was to late .

she said at the time i have had enough of life .

but thank you your very kind . i feel for my partner he was having to wash her .

along with this bottom problem 3 months ago her back went and her shoulder is now stiff and her right leg has gone a bit stiff .

the physio has helpped loosen up the parts that need help she is still not her self .

she apears to have gone a bit brain dead for some reason .

although she has all the marbles i think its due to the back pain .

thanks guys i feel a bit more settled about this condition the poor mummykins is in .

xxx sherrie xxx

ill post what happens tomorrow with the doc and no doubtedly the hospital .

xxx

xx sherrie

Hiya .

thanks for the posts and the answers to my mmother in law problem .

last wednesday my partner was dragged tot he ground by his mum as her legs went from under her .

it took him an hour to pick her up and lay her on the bed before he could get her in to the lounge chair.

he was really fed up and his back was put out but the sheer weight of his mum . she is only 13 stone at that time

she has lost about 5 stone .

so his aunts turned up and was bollocking him as they was worried about their sister .

which they have not seen her since last summer .

they never write or ring so its their own fault . they treat her like this as to her having a different father to them .

she is a chapman and they are clarke .

also they are gold digging now but thats another storey .

so my partners brother turns up in the middle of the 2 old witche's having a go at him and my partner stood his ground and said i think you lot should mind your own bussiness and let me sort mum out and get her to the hospital .

to which the younger sister did st johns and decided to give his mum a quick check up and she was not happy .

my partner was not happy with the doctor the couple of days before and was arranging a trip to the hospital .

but as his auntys where there he said your so bloody cleaver you ring the ambulance .

so they paramedics came and they said well she looks ok and has all her marble's and just has a bad arm and back .

but as we was called we have to take you to a hospital ...(thus what we all wanted )

so off to a and e in margate .

now they saw her and said your not drinking enough and put her on a sodium cholride drip . and within 15 mins her colour came back and she was looking better .

they booked up for a check up and the doctor gave mum the once over and he was not happy at all so he said lets do and ex-ray .

also we know a top person in the hospital who turns out is my partners brothers wifes step mom .

so she said family comes 1st and they got the xray fast .

when it came back the doc said she had a extra large organ in her tummy area . maybe a liver .

ok so not a problem that can be helpped now days with tablets .

so they booked her in.

she was put in a ward and they nurses said to my partner and his brother to go home and come back int he morning .

mum was moved to a different ward in the morning after a better nights sleep than since january .

the doctor rang my partner before he left to go back up the hospital and he said he wanted to see him .

the shock on his face was bad .

as its always never good news .

now i started this post with mum having a anal problem .

and a loose bladder .

so next morning as we know this person in the hospital mum was given a mri scan and she sufferd as she cannot lay flat on her back .

think again.

this poor woman has cancer all over but in little dots they told us they cannot count how many .

but one doctor was all doom and gloom saying we cant give a time limit on how long she will live cos it could be 2 days 2 weeks 2 months 2 years and so on.

so we asked how this started . they put it down to the click int he back which was the start of the tumor in the lower spine in january ., when she got stuck at the kitchen sink .

now we have possative news the oncologist was very possative and said lets get you better in here and get you home .

so wednesday morning tomorrow the 20th aprill we are takign a hospital bed in our house and oxygen and commode . also a hoist to help move mum around.

as if mum has radio therapy on her lower spine they said she will walk again.

but mum said she just wants to be with us and not leave us .

this is bringing tears cos this is the only family mother i have as such due to me not speaking to my own mother .,

but lets hope she does have the treatments cos they think they can put it on hold for a few years.

now monday the 18th we was going to the train station to get a train 2 stops down the line to the hospital and my partner had a phone call sayhing his sister was to go to our house and get mums phone and address book .

jell got on to his neighbour to go and lock the bottom chubb lock .

ok not a problem they said .

we got on the train and jell couldnt breath he had forgotten his asthma pump and not having a attack for a few months he stopped carrying it wiith him.

so he was oko on the train and thought it was easie . it was hot and the air was stuffy . he said when we get off the train he would be ok .

no he got worse and we walked the half mile to the hospital and went in to his mum and said pummp pump who do i ask . they got a nurse and the nurse took him out side to the cooler air . then matron went out and gave him the pum and a right bollocking . saying she thought he was going to die .

but he agreed to carry the pumps with him everywhere yet again and matron said to get his arse in to see his mum cos she dont want to see him die in the hospital .

so i nearly lost my parter too . he was very lucky .

but on mums wish she wants us to get married again in the garden so ill be posing the dress i have just bought tonight online .

and here is a laugh for everybody . our car died a death during the week . it finally blew up and the onbord computer went pop. so to day we spent a fortune and had it brought back to life the poor vw .

so we can now get up to the hospital easier and faster .

ill post more as time goes by .

love sherrie xxx

Sorry to hear that ur having such troubles gs my thoughts and prayers r with u and I hope it all ends up ok 4 u.Hope u have a nice wedding

Thanks hun.

mum is home now and she is just not comfy she wants us both by her side 24 hours a day so we arnt sleeping . we have a full care package and the carer's are here 8am to 9am then 1pm to 2pm 5pm to 6pm then again at 8pm to 9pm .

the days are long and sleep dont exsist any more .

they think they can help but she will have to lay flat on her back but she dont want to go in to the mri scanning machine again .

so we are trying to talk her in to it . cos it will help her lots and she will get a bit better .

only time will tell .

hi all by the way .

xxxx

Just a quicky really we are to upset to post and we will be away for a while now .

my partners mum passed over at 3am this morning .

she waspeacefull and she just slowed her breathing down over the weekend till she stopped .,

she had us here and she left us with a smile on her face .

we just hope there is another better place where she is with her family and my partners father too.

we be back soon .

love you all . xXxXxX

Hey Honey!

So sorry to hear of your loss! Mum is in a much better place where nobody is asking her to do anything that makes her uncomfortable or embarrassed. So glad that you were able to be with her at the end. There's nothing we can say that will make it any better for you and your partner except that we all feel your loss.

Since that dress is on the way, I say go ahead and wear it anyway. Nothing like an English wedding!

Take good care of you. We'll miss you.

LadyDoc

I am really sorry about your loss.

But honestly I have great respect for what you did for her.

I guess she died peacefully having such good people around her.

My prayers are with you.

Love, Liz

I do read only now.

I am so sorry for your loss.

A big hug from me, courage dear.

M.

We went through the same situation with my grandfather 2 years ago almost as fast as you did with his mum. I know how hard it is, and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope the shock and pain fade quickly to leave just good memories in your hearts.

Thank you for your support guys . its nice to know although imhere in the uk i have family all around the world .

to top this off my partner owns the house his mum lived in with him .

his brother is after the house . and is being a complete wanker excusing my speach .

tonight he said to j to sell the house to his partner clare and then rent it off her .

j said on the phone i dont f***ing think so its my house and im not selling it .

the deal was for j to hold the house untill his son is old enough to respect property and then give it to him .

j is mega pissed off tonight and he phoned the land registry to make sure nobody can touch his house . also he is going to a a lawyer to make sure nobody can touch the house .

is there any body who deals with leagal things liek this on here...please get in touch .

j just wants to safe guard his sons in heritance .

thanks . ps we are uk based .

xxx

Here is the latest update .

the funeral is on tuesday the 10th may . now the ironic thing is jells father died on the 11th of may 1995.

how shocking is that . really strange .

we say bye to mum on tuesday the 10th may .

i hope jell dont have a any more panick attacks . he was given tablets to help calm his nerves .

he took half of one and (excuse my language ) im not taking any more of them fucking things im not going to feel like a zombie .

i must say it was funny what he said .

he said if i wat to feel drunk ill have a bourbon . or a scotch .

we have found out about the house and nobody could or can contest it . so my partner rang the land registry and has now today sent the form off the to relevent place to have the deeds updated .

the house is now his.

now to start the new life in the sea side town of herne bay kent uk.

we are having the house valued cos jell has done loadsa work to the place and a loft extention. so hopefully its a bargain.

but he is not selling he wants us to live there.

i would like to thank every body here on the site for support and the wise answers from every body .

here is a special thank you to

big K you are a credit to this site and i have a good respect for you .

lady doc you are a wonderful wise kind and i feel very loving person .

but every body thank you and i love you guys as your like the real family i never had .

after this ill join in on the medfet side of things.

as life must go on.

i hope to meet some of you guys some day .

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Have only just got round to reading this thread. So sorry to hear about your Mum-in-law. Hope you and your partner are both OK and coping with the feelings of loss. Having had family problems when my gran died, I know how painful it can be at a time when you really need to be supporting each other.

Take care of each other, particularly on Tuesday, will be thinking of you.