Crying - Spanking

I think the humilation is a big reason for crying

Crying could be a part of the game. Of course that is the ultimate humilation

When my mummy gave me soapy enemas i never cried because i secretly liked them,but when she caught me wearing her satin frillys as a teen i cried out of humiliation as well as the stinging pain that the spanking slipper gave me.

Used to cry and scream as a child when receiving an enema from my mom. It never got me out of one, though....

I liked it when just mom and I was in the house and then I would really cry. lo

LoveToSpank: Safewords are NEVER to be ignored.

I wish I could get my wife to scold and spank me till I cry but it never happens

Same to me, we don't use any safword while our punishment spankings. My wife tries to spank me to tears but didn't work up yet.

When I'm spanking her, it's quite easy, her pain treshold ist very low, whish mine would be as well so low.

My wife discovered that if she stopped my (punishment) spanking before I began crying - it was ineffective in changing my behavior. All my spankings today continue until I'm crying and sobbing and ... pleading for forgiveness.

I want so badly to get paddled / spanked to the point of crying. It would be sexually exciting and emotionally cleansing. In fact it's nearly all I've thought about all day. Time to make it happen.

Yea I wish I could get my wife to spank me till I cried But I know that will NEVER happen

I wouldn't say crying is a part of the game.

But sometimes it happens that my sub cries.

I would like to start to say, that of course it doesn't have to happen. She can always stop the game by using her STOP word.

I'm not even going to spend time talking about that of course I respect her STOP word and I don't do anything to her, unless she wants me to.

But like I said, sometimes I spank her til she cries.

I can easily do that when I cane her.

But I can also do that just be taking her over my knee, and spank her, with my hand or a hairbrush.

She doesn't love the pain, but she doesn't hate it. She just like when I take the control.

When I spank her over my knee til she cries, it's because she doesn't want to give up so easily. It means, that she wants to prove to herself, that she can take her punishment like a good girl, without complaining and crying.

But sometimes she just can't take it anymore. But she refuses to give up. So she takes her punishment, but I brake her. She starts crying but I want stop.

I keep going on for few minutes, and then I am sure she have learned her lesson.

As a kid i was spanked a lot. so i learnt to react, when and how to crie or what to do ...

I have had many hard spankings with about every instrument from both men and women and have not cried. I did say the safe word(I actually threw in a towel I was made to hold) when I bet a TS she could not make me throw in the towel with her hand. I was the put into a pillory and had the cat applied to my back butt and balls as payment on the bet, if there had been another towel I would have thrown it, or more accurately, dropped it.

I have found that crying give you some relief from the pain of a spanking or maybe when you start crying it's more of an acceptance of the punishment.

This my reply to one of my spankers when he said he will spank me until I cry the next time I see him:

You will have to be tough and unrelenting to spank me to that point. Do you think you can do it? Once you have taken me past the point of "I don't want, I can't stand, I can't take anymore, will you be able to truly punish me? Because at that point is where true punishment starts. You are going to have to be extremely tough to lay it on a boy whose only wish is to not have to endure that next stroke of the paddle. I am not going to like it, I will want it to stop, but you are the one who has continue punishing, you have permission from me to punish not just spank me.

I think we are going to see what we are both made of soon.

When I have a girl over my knee, I don't consider the spanking effective until she tears up a bit. Up to that point, I've found that they aren't truly disciplined.

I must confess that when I was a total newcomer to the scene, and gave my first spanking to a lover (at his persuasion) I was very worried by the fact that his gasps and occasional cries as I strapped him made me feel very aroused. It took me a little time (and some lovely sessions bent over a spanking horse) to come to terms with the fact that this enjoyment did not make me a monster, and that gasps and cries are ways of processing the sensation, and not pleas to stop (that's what safe words are for). As a recipient I am not terribly vocal, but my husband does admit that when I do vocalize, he finds it extremely arousing. As I do when he (or any of my girlfriends) gasp, yelp or otherwise cry out during a disciplinary session.

Children cry when they need attention and need something to change. They are hungry; they are hurt (physically); they feel scared; etc. It's very sad when they learn they won't get the attention... and they quit crying. Kids who live hungry all the time don't cry about it.

Adults generally cry for emotional reasons although that can be tied to physical reasons. Perhaps the most common reason adults cry is when they feel defeated about something... such as disappointing a loved one; or failing to achieve something of huge (to her) importance; or realizing that the spanking (or embarrassment or humiliation) is unending and beyond control or redress. Catharsis is also an important emotional factor in crying as once "a good cry" is initiated, for most it must continue until a degree of fatigue or exhaustion breaks the crying cycle, allows the crier to take deep breaths and compose herself. A drink or two of water often helps, as usually does personal comforting.

In D/s play, a good Top understands what crying means to the Bottom. Some Bottoms literally can't cry. Some react very badly to being expected to cry. But for a Bottom that needs to cry, who finds it a turn-on, D/s play without a good cry likely feels empty or incomplete. The Top needs to find the combination of emotional stress and physical stimulation (if any) that trigger the response. Even more importantly is understanding what the Bottom needs to do after the crying is started. Does she need to "cry it out?" Does she need comforting words and hugs? Is it such a turn on that it's actually a big part of her foreplay and it's time to move towards the big "O?" Hopefully a bottom can explain what crying means to her, why she needs (enjoys?) it, and how it fits into the play. In my experience, that usually takes more than one conversation and more than a couple of play sessions to get it really right.

I find a crying Bottom to be a HUGE turn-on, but if and only if it's part of her needs / fantasies. (A crying Bottom who doesn't need it is likely in a bad place and the Top should probably let things calm down a lot and figure out how they got there.) But in fact I find a turned-on woman to be a huge turn-on for me almost without respect to how she gets there. A subbie with whom I once regularly played had learned as a child that sex was nasty, that only bad girls liked it, and that the only way a bad girl could get redemption was to be spanked badly enough to cry. THEN she could enjoy the sex and cum. So most of our play included some heavy embarrassment, "proof" of her nastiness, the required spanking / scolding / crying / confessing, and then the panting multiple orgasms. Until she cried and agreed she was a bad girl who liked sex she couldn't let herself enjoy it. And of course afterwards she needed reassurance that all was forgiven.

Crying, like any of many things, works for some people, and doesn't work for some others.

I'm not a crier per se. I always felt I'd safeword before I'd ever cry. Perhaps that thought was a defense. Recently I cried while receiving a spanking tied to a chair. I'm still trying to digest all the nuances, but the feeling was immensely powerful. And unexpected. And feminine. When he left me to go fill my enema, I sat and sobbed, rope bound, my mind grasping to make sense of the release.

I have seen my wife reduced to tears after a spanking many times, however not by my hand. It is highly erotic, seeing her wine and try to avoid what is coming her way. The primal sounds made at this time of stress/delight are an incredible audible erotic turn on. I actually love to watch as her black owner disciplines her when she is disrespectful, does not follow a command, not dressed properly of failing to please or arouse him.

She had a black lover many years before we met, he made her and several other women under his command, be available 24/7 for his sexual desires, if she wanted his sexual attention. She had to agree to do anything he asked, if not there were consequences. She was involved with him for five years prior to me meeting her. He sees her at least once a week sometimes more often. He is huge hard and can perform for what seems like forever, he totally dominated her.

How do I fit in to all of this? We met online and by that it is easier to tell someone all about your sexual orientation. She told me about Donald, and also revealed other lovers. saying sex is her drug of choice. I told her I love slutty women. We both have an unconditional respect for our sexual oddities. It so happens that we are both submissive. She said she liked the rough treatment, but didn't want a steady diet of it. She likes the ordeal of being dominated and being reduced to tears, She says it's very cathartic and feels refreshed and relieved by it all.

I am more of the loving, caring, tender companion. I tried doing the switch thing but I failed miserably. But I have to confess when I know Donald will be seeing her I get very turned on knowing she will be having a long hard sex session, and many spankings. If I am lucky the bedroom door is left open, other times I hear and have to imagine what is going on. Our marriage was approved by Donald. He owns her but she is my wife. I am obligated to care for his property, and I too have felt the sting of his lashes when he did like my attitude or lack of caring for my wife.

I've never cried. I don't know if I ever will. I hate crying in front of people.

Despite being inexperienced, to me a spanking can lay in two different broad categories. 1) The spanking that occurs for the sexual arousal of all parties involved and it exists to help drop the sub into the mindset for further play later on. 2) A spanking that occurs with a bratty / insolent / age play regressed sub, that occurs as a punishment for the sub. Of course sexual arousal may be present with the second situation as well as the first but the ultimate reasoning behind the spanking is highly different. That said, to me crying occurs in the second situation because the mental / psychological effects are different, with a spanking that is given as punishment crying is almost expected because of the emotional aspect (the sub feeling like she let her domina down etc.)

In terms of the crying being a turn on or not, to me it is when I write dominant characters and they punish a sub to the point of tears, but I suppose it is mostly hypothetical in regards to myself.

When coach paddled my naked butt in the locker room i did not cry in the presence of others---though it hurt my butt alot----I always did cry when alone after school--it was not the pain on my butt it was an emotional thing---I always had to cry alone after coach paddled me--My parents knew when i had to take a paddling cause I walked in with red eyes (and red butt)---they always fekt sorry for me--sometimes i showed my bare butt to my dad

My parents was a firm believer that a good spanking must be considered well done only when the spanked brat was not just only with tears in his eyes. Only crying intensive after a at least one minute or so in pure stinging pain - was considered enough to stop the punishment.

I recall crying during my spankings to somewhere around age 11. While I was spanked to age 14, after age 11 I was able to hold my tears in even though mom spanked me harder as I got older.

As part of my desire to be a better Dom, I now have a Sir to show me what it is like for the bottoms I play with. My policy is that I never do anything to someone that has not been done to me first. So when I started to get into spanking, I needed someone to give me that experience. Luckily I met my Sir and soon I was naked, face down over the edge of the bed, and on the receiving end of all of the spanking implements I had collected but was hesitant to use. He said, "I'm going to give you six of the best, boy," and proceeded to paddle me fairly hard. I was shocked to find myself crying after the fourth swat. Yes, the pain was part of it, but I really think that most of it was relief that I had finally found someone I trusted enough to do this for me. It was incredibly cathartic. I felt terrific afterwards, and of course, now I beg him for a repeat session every time we are together.

Our high school football coach paddled guys bare----bending over hands on shins----and it hurt and other guys saw the guy getting it----Some really big strong guys cryed others just made verbal pleas. I was different----I did nothing as I was getting it----but after school when alone I cryed alot--- and it was not cause my butt was sore-----After a locker room paddling I always cryed when alone------I am not sure why it was only after the fact I had to cry?????

I see a lot of people insisting on a safe word in ALL cases. I don't agree. I'm in a same sex marriage and have been with my Husband/Daddy for 26 years and we've always practiced DD. I trust him beyond anyone. I literally trust him with my life. I don't need nor want a safe word. If I were meeting someone for the first time I would absolutely want a safeword. My point is there are situations in which people choose not to have a safe word. I don't view that as sacrilege or heretical

When I was a kid and got spanked my Dad never offered me a safe word. He was my Dad and he loved me. I hated getting spanked but I NEVER was afraid of him nor feared he would injure me. For us domestic discipline is a way of life...not "play". To each their own.

I think you, dadstillspanks have it exactly correct on all your points. Great post and thank you.

I was spanked as a kid too, I think and am pretty sure just by mom. I don't remember ever being spanked by my dad at all. I hated being spanked, and it always hurt so bad, but like dadstillspanks, I was never afraid of my mom. I know she was spanking me because she loved me, and she always told me why I was being spanked and she never did so in anger. But, I was never afraid of her. The thought that my mom would ever hurt me also never crossed my mind, ever.

When Doc and I started down the spanking road we both had safe words, not because either of us thought we would need one but because it's what everyone did and we thought we should to. It was a brand new thing for both of us. We quickly learned what and how the other liked it, wanted it, and or needed it. About the first I don't know, dozen or so times we did this we reminded each other of our safe words just in case. But after that, both of us just stopped reminding the other. Doc and I trust each other with our lives, for real. We are not afraid of each other, we have no reason to. We love each other beyond what words can even express. We both know that the other would never ever go to far or hurt the other one. Even though we are not married to each other we still partake in the domestic discipline when we are together, as well as spankings as foreplay lol.

No matter what your relationship is with the person who is doing the spanking or being spanked you have to decide how much you really trust the person holding the paddle. I always feel like it's better to be over cautious than under, safe rather than sorry. If you are unsure use one. Promise yourself that if you use your safe word and it isn't respected for any reason, then you should not trust that person and you need to probably walk away and don't look back.

When you stop and think about this entire site, what we do, how we play, when and with whom and so on, everything takes a huge amount of trust, both ways. Just keep that in mind.

Mashie