Any advice on suitable incontinence protection?

I am 50 and have had minor leaks getting up from bed and from urinary infections over last two years. Suddenly in last few weeks I am becoming seriously incontinent (not sure why - may be from diabetes 2, prostate enlargement or bladder stones from gout or a combination). Have had to start wearing pads (Tena Men Level 2) but they leak from the back end of the pad. I need something very discreet but reliable and not something that could be seen sticking out of my trouser waistband as I work as a teacher. Any suggestions? I am leaking at least 25 times in a day, usually just short squirts, but boy do they add up!, and am going to loo at least 13 times in a day. Live in UK.

That sucks bobby , i would suggest "tranquility pull ups a.t.n." They are cloth backed so no noise to be heard and also absorbe a pretty good amount .

The only problem is they tend to get rather bulky after wetting them. But you being a teacher should be able to find the time to go to the washroom and change if need be. actulay might be a good lesson for your stundents to learn in life. Not all the time to people have health. some have embaressing problems in life and if you try hard enough you can get through anything life throws your way

Consult a Medical Professional, your showing a lot of defined symptoms and you need some Professional advice not just diapers.

Thanks mamasboy. Maybe I should have mentioned that all the students are emotionally and behaviourally disturbed and often aggressive. They would try to make mince meat out of me, infact one of them wears a nappy for medical reasons and gets regular abuse over it. I think the bulkiness and the high sides of the Tranquility diaper would probably give it away eventually, but then I am thinking maybe one of those Onsies bodysuits over the top could solve the problem of it becoming visible at the waist band and help to flatten the bulk. I am going to see a urologist on the 20th, much as I'd like an earlier appointment, so hopefully find out what is going on. Thanks for the advice guys

One little bit of advice other than Professional help, Cranberry Juice. Mother Natures own private blend of vitamins and urinary antiseptics all in one drink. Try it it does help with urinary infections. This came from the College of Physicians in Canada and the USA.

I will try that juice. Am also wondering if a solution would be something that looks like regular underwear with a waterproof gusset for the pad, so that it wouldnt matter if the top of the pants accidentally became visible. Saw one such brief on the internet but the reviewer said that the leg elastic tended to wick the wetness into the trousers. Anyone know of a more reliable garment? Also, what are the ones like with built in cloth pads, are they more detectable or less absorbent? The Tena pads I am using are rated at 600mls and they are not reliable against leaks.

I love the feel of diapers but only on my terms. Not interested in 24/7 but recently diagnosed with enlarged prostate. Biopsy route and no cancer but an infection. Heavy drugs for a week and no more infection but my walnut is still enlarged. Meds from the DR. do not agree with me so the urologist said just deal with it.

This has caused a problem with leaking after peeing. Not all the time, just sometimes. Guaranteed if I am wearing light color pants (often)there will be a noticeable wet spot within 10 to 15 minutes. You can only shake water on your pants and say the faucet sprayed me so many times. I actually had the maintenance guy replace the faucet...Tried diapers, and man pads but just too bulky. GF loaned me a full pad but I thought it made my crotch poke out and was hot and sweaty.

The GF and I sorted through all the pads Wally world had. I never knew there were so many to choose from. Wings, no wings, medium, heavy, light, scented, narrow, long, ultra thin the list just goes on and on. Finally settled on Carefree long and thin. Two placed side by side strategically in front catches the drips and occasionally the unexpected after squirt.

On a funny note the GF will call and say she is going to the mart and do I NEED PADS.... All I care is I am no longer showing spots or feeling like I smell like pee. Interesting note is no drips at night, but then I can wear a diaper if I want to. ???

Sorry to hear about your sudden mild incontinence. I also felt i smelled of pee and everyone anywhere would know i was in a diaper. Pretty much stayed inside unless i had absolutly no choice but to go out in public. family is one thing , they understand. Public was a whoile new world waiting to make fun of me fora sickness i could not controll :'( .

Then one nite a friend of mine got me somehow to go out to a bar with him(he knew about it). Well much to relief and suprise not single person knew i was in a diaper and also very wet by the end of the nite. And yes did talk to girls all evening. All im trying to say here is if you are inco life will go on , its not the end all situation like i thought it would be. And feelings of happiness came out of me wearing diapers . Never knew the comfort and feel of diapers before then! 😁

Can relate to the girlfiend coming to the rescue with her sanitary towels Skybear; that is what my girlfriend offered to buy. However, when I researched into it, it seems they are not that good at absorbing urine, so I declined the offer. Shame because I think I need a much longer pad than the Tena for men to stop overflow from the back and I see that some of the sanitary pads are much longer. When you say you place two side by side, dont they ride over each other and bunch up? As for the meds you tried - was it oxybutynin (ditropan)? I have just stopped it pending a query to my doctor, as I noticed (looking on the Internet) that there is an issue about taking it if you have glaucoma, which I do. Thing I dont understand about prostate enlargement though is that it sounds as if the problem should be one of difficulty peeing, whereas I have very much the opposite problem, more like defensive flood control. Then again I am not sure this is the the cause.

You will find this is the usual steps all newly incontinent people go through. Smaller more easily concelled pants, pads, and different types of protection. They almost always end up going to a full protection brief {diapers}, after many leaks and embarrassing wettings. I hope all that you try does help, this can be a devastating condition for your public image. Do look towards a professional for all of your needs, they have some wonderful products out there. Keep it safe and as natural as possible, it is Mother Nature's way. Oh by the way, I hope you learn to enjoy your diapers as much as I do mine.

Re: Wearing two pads side by side to soak up urine.

I use the Carefree long and thin. I stick them in front of my penis on my tidey-whities. When I suffer leaks it is always in the very front of my pants so naturally I need help there, not on the bottom. I use two pads, one overlaps the other slightly so there is no leak in the very center. This way the penis can flop to either side without worry. Not a problem bunching because they are worn in the very front of my underwear. The very bottom is a nice soft cup for my balls. They do not show whatsoever because they are so thin but prevent any dampness flowing through.

When this first started, a single pad would sometimes not be wide enough and a damm wet spot would appear to one side or the other. This way I have better wider coverage. Diapers and tenna pads are too bulky and hot for 24/7. For me this is working unless the dribbles get worse. The urologist agrees with me to hold off the meds as long as I can.

Some days, not a problem at all, other days like today I just dribble. The old prostate being slightly larger restricts the urine flow to the point where not all the liquid leaves the urethral track immediately. I think I have finished peeing only to have some flow out later.

Getting old is not for pussies. :-\

Oh I hope not for me, I would have to give up my job. I have only been like this for a few weeks. I am hoping it is just a temporary symptom; something like an an irritated bladder: - all that sugar! all those infections!all those uric acid stones! all that calcium! (I also excrete too much calcium) or whatever.

I do indeed enjoy diapers, but I have to put paying my morgage, raising my children and holding down a job before all that.

You should try a "condom catheter" also called a texas catheter. It can be applied for hours at a time and drain into a leg bag. The bag can be drained in a toilet stall without embarrassment. See your health care provider about this. It is an inexpensive solution for a long term problem. Good luck.

Bobby almost all incontinece issues can be dealt with and made to go away with meds. but you also need to be prepared that if they dont work for you it may just come down to diapers and stuff. Just to let ya know. But it sounds like you are just having a little set back from somehting and the doc can get it cleared for you. good luck !

Thanks Stephen. I wondered about that. The difficulty is that I have to deal with quite a lot of violence in my job and take violent youths to the floor for safety sometimes. I imagine that the equipment you mention would be tugged, squashed and probably empty in the horizontal, which would be extremely embarrassing in the circumstances. Anyway the good news is that I have gone back on the ditropan and it seems to be working as there has been a huge reduction in leaks over the last two days and I am starting to feel I can get away with just a small pad or panty liner now.

I started off much like you and this resulted in trying out all the obvious things you mention.

But as time went by the problem just got more urgent with an increased volume of urine involved (fortunately you seem to not have a volume problem)but I do recall my frustration at what was available at the time as it seemed so inadequate.

I tried a Sheath which is fixed on with a strip of glue and it was only after a day when I found I was highly allergic to the glue :'( and I vowed at that point that I would never use one again 😮 .

My wife bought me a cheapo pack of "Boots" disposable Nappies and whilst they were not top quality they did the job and gave me a good feeling of security, I am now in Nappies 24/7 and you really would not know unless you were a fellow Diaper wearer.

It may well be that your problems are (hopefully) not severe enough for the full Nappy/Diaper use but what I am saying is use what you find works for you as it is always a case of different strokes for different folks. 😃

Good luck in finding what works for you and possibly even a full cure to the problem.

Thanks Squirmy, I seem to be on the mend, but the test will be when I stop taking the ditropan. The annoying thing is, even if the number of leaks falls to only one or two a day, I still have to wear a pad all the time at work , as I only have to be caught out once. I think I'll go for a reusable pad as it will otherwise be expensive changing for a new one each day.

Well so much for re-usable pants. Wore a pair for the first time today (fortunately not at work), thinking I could save some money on disposable pads. They leaked the first time I sat down so my trouser seat and crotch and chair seat got damp! I dread to think what would have happened if I had worn these to work - would have been all over school "Mr so and so's wet his pants!" Spent £30 for nothing.

I have a further appointment in May with my Urologist. A fairly cursory consultation last month. He changed the medication prescribed by a doctor from ditropan to detrusitol and said if that doesnt work, he would consider doing urodynamic tests - whatever they are. I was hoping he would arrange a cystoscopy test as previously I have had one which found hundreds of little stones and red patches on the bladder wall, subsequently cleared by taking tamsulosin to relax the prostate - I am wondering if they have returned to irritate things. I probably need to be more assertive in May. In the meatime, what are these pants you are talking about. The ones I have tried are Ganmill unisex which look a bit like training pants, but even modest leaks seem to squeeze out of the pad if I sit down and in any case the urine seems to wick through the inner material at the leg openings and then soak around the outside pant material, going around the waterproof barrier in the crotch; in fact I could see from the urine stain that it seeped all the way round at the front until it met the seep from the other side in the middle. As a result the trousers get damp anyway. Also dont think the pad area is big enough although it looks generous, because it is still possible for my willy to aim off to one side and the material beyond the pad does not seem to be waterproof.

Have had to move on already from discreet pads in my underwear to Boots Stay Dry Super pullups 1400ml, and even they have leaked a little round the innner side of the legs. In the last few days, what was a case of squirts that I could quickly get a grip of, have turned into gushes of several seconds, overwhelming Tena pads in no time. I barely need a toilet now as so much has gone into the nappy before I get there. My wife joked that she may as well throw out my underwear as I haven't been able to wear it. What is happening here! I am off work right now because I dont see how I am going to keep my trousers dry. My wife thought I should buy a long vest to tuck over the nappy so it wouldnt stick out of my pants at work. When we looked on the internet, found somthing even better but not cheap, a conventional looking vest that closes round the crotch with poppers. £35 for 2 with postage. Only problem with that is it will delay getting to the toilet and my students are gonna think I am old fashioned wearing a vest - especially as Clark Gable got rid of his in 1935. Still better that they dont know I wear nappies.

Damn; thought I had cracked it with the vest. Didnt realise how easy it is to feel the nappy pad at the back, even through trousers, if accidently bushed against. Anyone know of any pull ups that do not have a pad that goes up so high at the back? In fact, not even sure there needs to be padding at the back for a man as I think all my wee is going into the front half. Anyone make front loaded pullups?

Well that was close! Around 4pm today my bladder suddenly started to do its damndest to embarrass me. I was thanking my luckty stars that the disposable pad inside washable pants also with an integrated pad would save the day. Little did I know the urine was basically going over the top of the pad, into the fabric of the pants. Its freezing here, so I put on a long coat and was getting ready to dash off for an appointment to have my car serviced, when I became aware of creeping dampness in the front of my trousers and subsequently round top of thighs, front and rear. Kind of unpleasant in the cold. Anyway the coat probably stopped (I hope) anyone else noticing the wet areas before I realised what was happening and made for the door. I need to review my strategy as this could have been disasterous if it had happened just a little earlier in class.

Bobby, It seems that May can't get here soon enough for you (Urologist wise that is) Best of luck with that. I don't suppose you can get away with wearing denim, but perhaps corduroy pants would help disguise he extra padding needed. Otherwise you may have to suck it up and be prepared to explain that sometimes things you have no control over, control your life. It could serve as a good life lesson for your students, although somewhat embarrassing for you. Life is life, and is doled out equally on the just and unjust.

Thanks 2bdiapered. I am indeed desperate to get to that appointment. In the meantime I have found a solution that seems to be working. Didnt realise there was so much difference in the thickness of the padding in the various brands of pullups. Have since started using Depends for men pullups which have much thinner padding at the rear, yet still very absorbent in front, so now I am not paranoid about someone feeling the padding accidentally. May sound unlikely that anyone would accidentally brush your butt but since I've been acutely aware of the passibility, I note it has happened a couple of times already. Anyway, with the Abena vest with crotch poppers pulling everything snug against the body and making sure the pullup doesnt get seen above my trousers or sag under the weight of urine, am feeling relatively safe. Hasnt leaked yet either. Had a few snotty comments about wearing a vest but have found that even this is not noticeable if the shirt is pattened rather than plain. Only bugbears now are that I seem to be leaking more readily, despite being on medication which was working well at first. Also my wife is careless about leaving my vest, pants and pads around, so I think my kids have cottoned onto something, though they havent actually said so.

That would simply be her way of punishing you for enjoying your predicament. My kids know about mine and just ignore it. Hang in there bro.

Yes I think it may be deliberate as she seems to enjoy a bit of powerplay over me and my wearing nappies.

Oops I just discovered a drawback about wearing a poppered vest - forgetting to do it back up after going to the toilet. Walked round the staffroom with the rear crutch piece hanging out of the back of my shirt over my trousers. I think I got away with it as there were only two people in there and they didnt say anything. And yesterday I found I hadnt threaded my belt properly through the back loops, causing the trousers to hang lower there. I hope my shirt bridged the gap as my wife was the only one to commet. Have decided not to risk unpopping the poppers for a wee in future, will just tug it out via the leg hole

Well I was dumb enough to try another type of washable pant with integral pad after getting an email that they were on sale at half price (Attends Unisex) - Are any of them any good? In the picture, the pad shield clearly comes high up to about 3 inches below the belly button. Yet on the pants I recieved, it is more like 7 inches below, which makes it useless as my willy is not even covered so the urine goes straight into the unwaterproofed pant fabric. I think they have sent women's briefs as the pad area is about the size to cover a large sanitary pad, but it does say high waist unisex and they deny it. Also the pad too is kind of thin and firm and not at all spongy, yet is rated at 500mls. Anyone else sourced anything better?

Finally got to see the urologist today after a long wait and steady deterioration in continence. After taking a history and a flow test he said he was going to refer me to physio to learn how to do kegel exercises and arrange for botox injections in the bladder nerves at 6-9 month intervals. This all changed however when he scanned my bladder after urinating and found it still contained around half a litre of urine. He said this was probably due to blocking by my enlarged prostate. Now, subject to confirmatory urodynamic tests he is prescribing a prostate (TURP)operation to scrape away the tissue blocking the flow and allow the bladder to empty. In the interval he is referring me to a continence team to be taught how to self-catheter twice a day, so that the bladder gets a chance to empty and doesnt become more damaged and floppy and also to reduce my incontinence.

We started out after surgery doing bio feedback at PT for me for my IC which was a complete failure if you need decent adorable protection look into tena briefs