Bizarre sex - she/he wanted What?

What is the most bizarre sex, sex act or addition to a sex act you have ever been involved in?

It's like the difference between sensual and kinky. Tickling your ass with a feather is sensual. Cramming a chicken up your butt is kinky. 😮

The original definition of a sexual perversion was a practice not approved of by the speaker.

The way I look at it;

"Kinky" is when you use a feather.

"Perverted" is when you use the whole chicken.

"Sick" is when the chicken is still alive.

& "Excessive" is when you use the whole flock

By "bizarre sex act" do you mean something that takes five minutes or a series of actions that make up the entire sexual event that may take hours?

I would imagine the typical definition to "bizarre" sex to be that which is outside the excepted norm by the populous in general.

I let my boyfriend put a maglite 4D in me. Also, you know those long balloons that are used for making balloon animals? We used to see how far we could get them in my throat, vag, and ass.

I don't know if bizarre is exactly the term I would use, but one of the most stressful sexual acts was part of a three day scene my husband and I had last year during the winter vacation when our daughters were at their grandparents. I was restrained for the most part and had to submit to his every whim. There were two days of activity before this and another day afterward. This was about three hours worth. The physical aspects in this series of events were about the most severe he has ever done to me, especially in one continuous (three day) time frame. While he allowed me to go to the bathroom when necessary over the previous couple of days, he always made me wait long enough to almost have an accident.

Here's the bizarre part: He turned me face down and tied me spread eagle to the bed. He caned my butt so hard I couldn’t believe it--I screamed and cried. (He didn't break the skin, but it hurt like hell.) After I regained my composure, he took my leather hood off and put on a locking blindfold and put me in a cold (not freezing cold, but uncomfortable) shower for about half an hour. After the shower he wouldn’t let me dry off, he just brought me dripping, back to bed and I had to air dry, my hair included. I was almost limp as my arms were quickly re-tied to the bedframe and my legs were apparently tied to ropes hanging from a hooks we have in the ceiling because my legs were suspended above the bed. Then he put on a pair of very tight nipple clamps and he raped me. My body was still wet and I was cold from the shower, and he just climbed on! Then he wanted to see what his semen looked like in my vagina, so I was propped open with a speculum and held that way for about ten minutes. I absolutely loved how he did that, and I think he knew that. My body wasn’t ready and he just forged forward. There are some times I just love laying back and having things done to me! This time was so exciting, and he even threw me a bone by making sure I had an orgasm. I was very sore when the nipple clamps came off because he left them on for a long time. Later he dripped hot wax on me, not enough to burn the skin, but hot enough to let you know what was happening and to want him to stop, but of course, he didn't.

Sometimes it's good for the Domme to submit.

No rubber chickens, no dildos, no enemas.

Nothing done by two or more consenting adults is bizarre as long as no permanent damage is done. What goes on in my bedroom stays in my bedroom, and hopefully I remembered to close the cutains.

My girlfriend had sex with one of her girlfriends while me and her girlfriends husband watched. That whole thing was bizare for me. I've done some other group things and felt the same way.

One on one I've done some very kinky things and they were never anything but fun.

I've never really been much of a social butterfly. 😁

My ex-husband woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink and saw my girlfriend and I making love on the living room couch. I waved him over to join. He came in and sat on the loveseat to watch. Years later, I asked him why he didn't join in. He said it was a bit like watching "Wild Kingdom" and that he was just reveling in the wonder of it all and didn't want to interrupt us. I asked if he regretted not joining in. He said, "Every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of my life." 😄

My girlfriend had sex with one of her girlfriends while me and her girlfriends husband watched. That whole thing was bizare for me. I've done some other group things and felt the same way.

One on one I've done some very kinky things and they were never anything but fun.

I've never really been much of a social butterfly. 😁

I thought this was appropriate to post here. It's a fun song. I hope you check it out. It's by Da Vinci's Notebook, a great acappella comedy group. You can listen to samples of their songs on Amazon.

Internet Porn

by Da Vinci's Notebook

Back in the not-too-distant past

When I would need a quick repast

Or a temporary break from my agenda

Off to the bedroom I would head

Pull out the Playboy from ’neath the bed

And sneak a peek at all the portraits of pudenda

My alternatives were slim

If I tried to find another source for sin

I’d have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room of my local video store

But last month I finally made the call

I got a brand new cable modem installed

And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Internet porn

(Internet porn) Roman orgy scenes

(Internet porn) dominatrix queens

(Internet porn) girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep

(Internet porn) gross anatomy

(Internet porn) Pam and Tommy Lee

(Internet porn) when you’re given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep?

After my girlfriend goes to sleep

Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep

So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3:00 or 4:00

You’ll always find me in that same tableau

Silhouetted by my monitor’s warm glow

And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of Internet porn

(Internet porn) barely legal teens

(Internet porn) naughty figurines

(Internet porn) geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men

(Internet porn) erotic Asian art

(Internet porn) guys with extra parts

(Internet porn) I don’t think I’m ever going to see the sun again

(Internet porn) melon-love.com

(Internet porn) there’s my neighbor’s mom

(Internet porn) bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs

(Internet porn) Maison l’Esclavage

(Internet porn) un, deux, trois menage

(Internet porn) every kind of smut from every corner of the Earth

OWIEEEEEE. That was pure...Pun...iiishment Lady Di. You are herewith sentenced to a triple HHH, double double SS, otk enema. And maybe a little spanking while in the appropriate position just to warm things up a little and put you "in the pink"! 😁 😁 😁 😁

Hey, don't threaten ME with a good time! 😉

I had a one night stand, if you can call it that, with some guy who was really into Anne Rice's vampire novels. We had sex in the doggie-style position and when he came, he reared back his head and howled like a wolf. It was all I could do not to die laughing. It was too ridiculous for words. It was so loud I'm sure all my neighbors heard it and wondered what kind of weird hell was going on in my apartment. I'm surprised no one called the police. I got him out of there as soon as possible and laughed my ass off for hours.

You know that ponderable question, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make it sound. Well, if a man howls in the throes of passion and you're the only other person in the room, is he still a jackass? Yes, yes, indeed. He surely is. So embarrassing...

It's simple.

If I do it, it's erotic.

If YOU do it, it's kinky.

If THEY do it, it's bizarre.

Bizarre or Poor Judgment? It maybe a draw. My first wife and I were visiting her family in a small village in the central Philippines in the mid 60s. We were young, dumb and full of cum and didn’t have a minute together to bump uglies. So we took a stroll into the sugar cane field and had a large time. I have never in all my life had so many GD bug bites :'(

My ex-boyfriend and I were in bed with another couple. The lady and I were making love excusively to each other and the men were on either side of us, watching. I thought men liked to watch. Normal men, anyway. After a while, my crazy ex jumped off the bed, started crying and screamed, "I guess no one wants to make love to me. I guess I'm just a hideous monster. I guess I'm not sexy enough to fuck." Then he ran off and locked himself in the bathroom, sobbing and crying for over an hour. What a nutjob. I was horribly embarrassed. The couple looked at me as if I could explain what happened.

I shrugged my shoulders, shook my head, apologized, then played with them until my ex decided to be a grown up and come out of the bathroom. The man had some serious issues. That night was the first of many of his freak outs. Our relationship didn't last very long after that. Some people are cut out for swinging and some people aren't. I think the problem with his was that even when he was by himself, he was in a threesome.

The couple and I were friends for a few years and played together several times. They split up so the man I played with each other. He was a dear friend and a great person and I treasure what we had together. He's married now and we've lost contact, but I always think of him fondly. The ex? Not so much.

This is a most interesting discussion! The truth is that the gamut of sexual expression and practice among homo sapiens is WAY wider than anyone has even hinted at so far, even among those in this enlightened group. So let's have some fun. The following terms are actual sex practices which are common enough for them to have been given names by researchers. Just for fun, does anyone know what they are, or would anyone like to take a guess? (1) Oculolinctus (2) Agalmatophilia (3)Formicophilia (4) Inunction (5) Psychrocism

What is amazing is that these are only a handful among hundreds and hundreds of unusual human sexual activites--perhaps proof for the puritanical that we are all truly going to Hell in a handbasket. I say just let me bring my red bag and favorite nozzle along. 😉

Let's put it this way ezrider...I never get turned on by licking eyeballs, loving statues, letting a bug bite me or rubbing in ointment. I have lived with a cold woman for many years and that certainly didn't do anything for me either. Does that cover it?

Oculolinctus, also oculolingus--licking eyeballs--not a good idea. You can get severe infections that way. Believe it or not, the mouth carries over 800 different kinds of bacteria. Also, if there is ANY, even 1 in a million chance that you have any kind of herpes, DO NOT DO THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. OCULAR HERPES IS HORRIBLE.

Agalmatophilia--mannikin fucking or frottage

Formicophilia--spider fucking?????? derived from formic acid that they produce? I don't have arachnophobia, but I never want to be THAT close to a spider!

Psychrocism--S&M where you like to make someone very cold, like what my husband did to me a year or so ago (description in my July 3 post in this thread) when he threw me naked into the cold shower for half an hour before bringing me back to bed soaking wet, tying me spread eagled to the bed and then raping me. (that was fun--after I recovered!!)

Inunction--rubbing with grease -- even greasy food is described as unctuous.

Thanks for the advice, switchablesusie! I definitely hadn't planned on licking any eyeballs this week (or ever, for that matter). Just goes to prove that anyone who thinks that klismaphilia is off the charts needs to look up a few of these words, right? By the way, inunction refers to those who have their bodies lathered up and then use a partner to slide against, like the Mazola parties of the 60's. Remember those 😮 Einlauf figured it out, but evidently didn't like it all all that much either.

Interesting EZrider... You brought these acts up, but you didn't really answer the thread's question... What is the most bizarre sex act in which you have been involved?

Just curious 😄

By the way, inunction refers to those who have their bodies lathered up and then use a partner to slide against, like the Mazola parties of the 60's. . . .

Sorry, I had heard about Mazola parties while in my youth (childhood), but in practice, they were before my time. I'm not as OLD as you guys!!!!!!! 😁 😁 😁 Just kidding, I hope I'm in as good a shape of some of our senior members when I'm there.

Enemay1 has me on the spot since she asked "what is the most bizarre sex act in which you've been involved?" Fair question, since that was the original topic of the thread. But are you sure you want to know :😃 ? OK, here goes:

I had a girl friend once upon a time who would get extremely wet and aroused when she would go for rides with me on my Harley. She maintained that sitting astride that throbbing, pulsating 80-cubic engine with her legs spread apart was a total turn-on for her. Of course, they don't call these things "Milwaukee Vibrators" for nothing...

Anyway, once we were tooling down an isolated stretch of road in the wilds of Idaho on a balmy summer day, when she reached around me and began unzipping my pants. My response was a mixture of extreme arousal and blind terror but there was no doubt what she wanted. Somehow, I managed to come to a stop without crashing. We both yanked our clothes off, and I turned around on the seat to face her, engine still running. I was amazed to find that she was dripping wet, and we had almost immediate simulaneous orgasms with a little help from the vibrations. The danger, plus the risk of being seen definitely added to the experience.

Well that's not terribly bizarre as these things go, (sorry to disappoint you) but it sure was fun! I don't know if there's a term for being aroused by motorcycles, but this gal had it bad!

Cool, thanks for sharing. I've always wondered how people kept from having orgasms all the time on a Harley 😉

Sometimes dreams and reality gets crossed up leaving the mind on the way to the keyboard. But it is OK, but sometime a few get way out there and I can’t stop myself on making a remark or two. : 😃 This is a harmless place to hang, and everyone is fair with each other, none of that petty crap like the other sites. A person has his remark to make, and then parks it, and moves on. That is nice....really nice. 😎

^^^^ What you describe is wild and a lot of fun, BUT, the "brown juice" is precisely the reason we do clean-outs well in advance if we have anything like that in mind. I really am a clean freak. As I said before, the enemas in advance give a a clean "posterior playground."

I have ZERO interest in ATM. It seems to me that it has become a new trend for men; some new "extreme" act to shoot for. It used to be oral. Then it was swallowing. Then it was cumming on woman's face. Then it was anal. Then it was fisting. Now it's ATM. How many more ways do they want to take, abuse and/or degrade women? How many more boundaries do they want to cross?

Bear in mind that I don't mean you. You only did what the lady asked you to do. But for men who request it, no way. Oh, please. And those same jackasses freak out when a woman suggests doing something to him or to have him do to her. Pigs. Fucking pigs.

Egirlky 😉

That was nicely put, I be leave 85% of this type crap written are fantasies or hallucination that gets lost in reality from the brain to the keyboard. :'( 40 years ago when I was at the Plain of Jars in Laos, ( yes I was a Raven ) we got fire up pretty damn good and mush too often, but even where anything goes for a US dollar there were boundaries. I not going bash the gay community, but a lot of the off the wall crap is generated there, and that is OK too, but I really don’t be leave in REAL LIFE is goes on that often, to much bad can come from it………isn’t AIDS a big enough issue? 😢