I lean in the direction (though am not ensconced there) of thinking a lot of what i experience in the embarrassment/shame categories is a conditioned response. It was a mystery to me for years, and both are often exploited to try and restrict certain expressions and behaviors. Growing up gay in a very conservative religious culture that believes and teaches that being same sex attracted is "broken, sinful, perverted... ad nauseam."
i started realizing my (sub) attraction to other boys as young as age 7. When i hit puberty, i consciously acknowledged it to myself. i remember going to the library and looking in the DD card catalog under "H" (for "homosexual") and i was petrified someone would see me looking and figure out i was looking for homosexual info and see that i was homo. i'd furtively go to the section of the library and grab a book that had homosexual info, then take it to another section to open and read it... i'd never put it back where it belonged, being afraid i'd be seen and found out, nor would i sit and read, fearful i'd see someone i knew and they'd ask what i was reading. All of that fear was shame based, and i would have been embarrassed had someone seen or figured it out.
When i turned 14, i became very religious... primarily because i thought "God" (as i had been conditioned to see "God") would fix me, or at least help me not to give in to my attractions. Of course, that was a magical age, puberty, hormones raging. my first wet dream was about a boy i only vaguely knew in passing, "Randy Lay" (lol, no, not kidding, that was really His name). In the dream, He approached me in the hall at school, looked deep into my eyes and gave me a long, deep kiss. i woke up wet. i was also a little perplexed thinking, how can "God" get upset with that? i can't control how i dream... and that did put a question in my mind, but my conditioning ran deep.
It took me till 2006 to process out of my religious conditioning and accept who and how i am. i have a distinct side to myself that is deeply attracted and aroused by what i perceive as "affectionate degradation/humiliation." It's pretty specific stuff. i am not cognitively ashamed of who and how i am sexually, but i still experience emotional embarrassment, and maybe something akin to emotional shame? i do not respond to meanness, bullying or force, and i know a lot of people on both sides (giving/receiving) do. i actually shut down or go the other direction if someone is mean about embarrassing, degrading or humiliating me... which seems counter intuitive, but it's the case with me.
For me, it's the expression of mutual need/desire that is most powerful and controlling with me. If a Man, for instance, has a 'watersports' kink and is really turned on by it, i can connect and bond with Him in that because i have the same kink. The embarrassment and degradation i get is from Him being able to use that to arouse, open and control me. i think the conditioning against it is what has planted the emotional disposition of shame and embarrassment, but the mutual need/desire supersedes that.