Weird things

Weird things you have heard a real docter say while in the office.

I have had several bad Doctor experiences. Once, when I was about thirteen, I came down with a strange rash on my lower legs. I was in and out of Derms office for years with various treatments tried.

It was never solved, but it was discovered that my platelets do not stick together as they should.

Anyway, I went to see a Derm at Kaiser (a large United States HMO) one day and he looked very carefully at my skin condition. He said that he would be right back and then, he disappeared. When he returned, he asked me to follow him into his office.

There in his office were a bunch of open text books, showing leg rashes in various states, all of them looked horrible.

He said to me, then thirteen years old, "I don't know what you have. Which one of these photos do YOU think you look like?" Even at thirteen, I thought this was humorous and very odd behavior. I wasn't the one who had spent years in medical school!

Oh, and by the way, after high school, my legs recovered, and today, my skin is fine and beautiful.

Lady Teddy

I had a doctor ask me to lie down on an exam table and lift up my shirt above my navel. The doctor, with her index and middle fingers, pushed down on my navel, watching closely. She then looked at me and pronounced me with a systemic bacterial infection. I may not be a doctor, but some of these medical professionals have no business being licensed.

Some amusing, yet horrible stories to be told. I went to my GP once with an ugly rash around the knee and lower thigh of my right leg. The area was swollen, itchy like sunburn, and warm to the touch. All this took place about six months after my right leg was amputated below the knee and the wound was still healing. I showed it to him on a Monday morning and his response was "if that's still bothering you on Thursday, you might want to see a doctor about that"!

I'm sorry? That's what I thought I was doing! But far be it from me to question the judgment of a medical professional (?) so I went home. On Thursday, the condition had worsened to include streaking away from the wound and up the leg. OK, even I know what that means. Off to the ER I went. The doctor there took one look me and had me in surgery about 15 minutes later to debride the area. One week later, and several rounds of IV antibiotics, I was back home. Now that I've learned more, I know that I was only a few hours away from losing the rest of my leg. A round of high-dose oral antibiotics started on Monday could have saved me a lot of time, trouble, and money.

Ah, the things you learn from experience...

Play On!

LadyDoc

I do recall one experience after my ex-wife had undergone surgery and was about to be discharged. The problem was she was nauseous. So the resident ordered a phenergan suppository. Three hours later, she was still nauseous, so he told the nurse to give her a phenergan capsule, which she promptly threw up, so he ordered a phenergan injection. A couple hours later she was still nauseous and when he showed up for the third or fourth time proclained these immortal words: "The medicine is not working. What would you like me to do?" Not being the shy type I suggested perhaps trying another antiemetic, to which he responded: "Which one would you suggest?" I told him he was the doctor, but if it were me, I'd want some tigan. He told the nurse "go ahead" (he didn't know what the proper dose was). The nurse gave her the injection and she was fine to leave the hospital within 30 minutes.

Just to add another weird story to the collection, I had a strange red-dotted rash on my upper body one Fall. I was in my middle thirties at the time.

I went to a walk-in clinic and met the Doctor, who looked younger than even Dogie Howser, the teenager Doctor that was once featured on a fictional TV show.

He looked at the rash and said that I must have been in a hot tub recently. I said, "No". He thought for a few minutes and then, said that I must have contracted this strange rash by WALKING by the hot tubs on display at a Home Depot or a similar store. I replied that I hadn't been near any hot tubs. Finally, he just left the room, disgusted with my denials that I had not been near any hot tubs. I thought that he was way too young and I couldn't believe that this guy had actually graduated from a medical school.

Meanwhile, the nurse, who had been watching the entire time, told me to, "Wait here, I will get someone else for you."

Soon, another and more experienced Doctor walked into the room, she took one look at me and said, "Dear, you have chicken pox." 😃

Lady Teddy

About four years ago I started seeing a urologist. On my first visit the doctor was doing his routine examination of the penis and testicles and then ask me to bend over the table for the prostate examination. I am bent over the table with his finger in me and he all of a sudden ask "Are you a bird hunter" I was a little shocked by the question and said "yes, but how can you tell from looking at mu butt" The doctor then said "I saw the Cabela's label on your trousers" For the people that don't know..Cabela's is a large store for outdoorsmen.

I once went to a doctor that when you entered the waiting room you signed in. After a few minutes the dimwitted receptionist asked"Why are you here today?" So everyone sitting in the waiting room knew your problem.Needless to say I never went back.

Awinknagiggle: I don't discuss the reason for my visit to my doctor with the receptionist because it's none of her business nor is it the business of those people in the waiting area straining and hoping to hear my response. Suffice to say, I just tell the receptionist that I will discuss the reason for my visit with my doctor or her RN.