Hi Bluerain,
I think it's great your come on here to get some answers or advice, good for you!!! And your husband is a Lucky guy, to have someone who cares to try and understand.
I think you're both doing pretty well at this point, if you have been talking about it and trying to find some way to come to terms with it.
OK, this isn't a simple one. What I mean is, there is no right or wrong, or easy answer to any of this, it can be very complex. "He can't explain why" No, for allot of us, myself included, we can't say what it is that attracts us to wearing diapers, or why. There are some who can point to something in their life and say, "that's what it is for me, that's what did it, or started my love of diapers". But, for most, it's lost to them ??? I can tell you a bit about myself, and maybe it might say something, I don't know? But, I'm an otherwise normal :😃 type person. I'm single strait male, 44. I do my job, my chores, etc, etc, and for me I'm very shy about it, and no one else knows about my diaper wearing, and my liking it. I'm also an AB (Adult Baby) I like to dress like a baby sometimes and use baby items. I have always liked diapers, ever since I can remember! All the way back to when I was still in diapers as a toddler. I had no idea what it was about??? I just knew I had a thing for them. And for me, I was from the cloth diaper and plastic pants days, so I like those best. Even back at that young age, I didn't want others to know I liked baby diapers, you weren't suppose to! Once you were out of diapers, that was suppose to be it. It's funny, because I had a small bought with bed wetting from about 4-6 years old. But, I didn't get diapers for it. There is a strange duality to it, for me anyway. On one hand, I would have loved to be put back in diapers for my bed wetting, and I now think it would have been more helpful if I had been. But, on the other hand, I didn't want to feel the shame of such a thing happening. Again, "only babies wear diapers"! I had to endure a plastic mattress cover and wet sheets, clothes, and covers for that time.
I hope I'm not getting to far off track for you, I don't mean to.
I just wanted you to get some understanding of me, and my experiences. There is lots more, but I'll leave it at that.
All that being said about myself, I still have no idea, no real idea of what caused me to be a AB/DL (adult baby, diaper lover). I was not abused as a child, I wasn't overly and unjustly punished, I didn't suffer strange punishments, although my mother use to say sometimes, "are you a baby, do you need a diaper"? That would be for something I did that was childish I guess? Being a diaper lover, I still remember those words!
That brings me to the here and now, at 44 I still have these feelings, maybe even more so. I like what I do, I have long since come to terms with it, I enjoy it! I try not to find the reasons for it anymore.
There are allot of different reasons for doing it, and it makes you feel good. You can feel secure, comfortable, at ease, let the stress out. All of the above.
I can understand it may not be something for you Bluerain, but if you would indulge your husband, his desires, and love of diapers, I believe you could be very happy, and have lots of fun. Maybe not all of the time, and there is no reason you couldn't ask your husband to do something you may like in return for indulging in his fantasies. That don't have to be sex related either, whatever! Tell him if he takes out the trash, you will put a diaper on him! 😁 I'm just using that as an example. 😉
I hope some of what I said here will help you out. If you have any other more specific questions, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck in your quest also. Have fun and enjoy! 😄