Who Pays for the Hotel Costs?

I think the patient can contribute in some way, I dont necessarily mean financially, but bring the milk for the drinks and there may be some sundries that they could bring along so that the playdoc does not have to provide everything. It's a difficult one and its each to their own on what happens.

I will admit however that I have never paid for a room, but have contributed accordingly albeit not to the value of the room rate. It is appreciated by myself that I have never booked or paid for a room and I hope I have always made that clear.

I'm a bit of an odd duck in that I travel for a living so the room is already paid for. That said ...and I can't say my opinion is right on this really....but I find something a bit odd about a playdoctor who would ask about cost sharing. Done right there is some expense....exam gowns, speculums and other supplies tend to add up along with the cost of a room. That said I would not want my patients to think I am cutting corners to save costs....new vs used equipment,,,,etc. I want them to feel secure in that I have covered all the details so they can simply come in for an enjoyable exam....which in turns make it more enjoyable for me. I simply think the more serious playdocs cover all the bases on these things. Just my personal preference...not to imply that other arrangements playdocs make are inferior in any way

Newly discovered this forum. I would be pleased to pay or split the hotel costs & even open for discussion about equipment costs if it will be a repetitive on-going examination relationship.

The couple of times I've played in a hotel we were playing with another couple, and we all split the cost evenly. It worked out great cause a hotel room split between 4 people is not that expensive.

I would normally book and pay for the hotel, that's the normal procedure in most cases.

Dr Philip - The UK Play Doctor.

I think that it can be split a number of ways. My first exam the hotel was paid for by my play doctor, the other time I met someone in a hotel to play we split the cost. Its just important that the issue of who pays for what is brought up early in the planning process.

I think 50 / 50 split is fair

I will only usually see patients if I am visiting the area for a city break in which case I will usually provide and pay for the room

If cost is an issue, discuss it before hand (if they will cover it, or need to split it). If it's not, then pay for it as a gesture.

I suppose I may be a bit old fashioned in this regard but I look it at like a first date so the guy pays. Hmmm... I would look it up but I don't think Anne Landers ever discussed etiquette for meeting someone to put things in her ass, lol.

Ahahahahaa, too funny, bnyc! Anne landers, priceless!

Or as Samantha Jones on SATC says, "Emily Post's Polite Pussy." 😃

I'm Canadian, so we don't pay for our pelvic exams....you can see where I'm going with this!

Everytime , i pay, this is my mind to thanks the female patient

Granted, I've never had an 'exam', but in my D/s world, the 'deeper pockets' paid for the hotel, cabin, or apartment. To even out expenses (we usually met for 3 day weekends), the other would pay for the groceries for the weekend. There is no point in imposing an economic hardship on someone just to have a little fun. Why should sexual kink and fun only be for the ones could can afford it financially? That's not what fun's about. Now, in my experience, I've never had to pay for the room, but I have purchased many groceries, and then cooked those groceries, cleaned dishes, and many other things to offset the financial differences in our costs. There are more ways to pay for something than just using money. 😉

The way I work is that the ' patient ' pays for the room. The reason being is that the equipment I use always costs considerably more than the room and I cover those costs. It is always agreed before the actual meeting so there is no confusion.

Sourmise, very well put.

In some cases this is pretty simple. For example, I did my first exam when I was traveling for business (and thus, already staying in and paying for my hotel room), and the patient lived in the area. I have also corresponded with a couple of prospective patients who regularly travel to my city on business, so in that case, we'd be playing at her hotel, where she (or her employer) has paid for the room.

If no one was traveling for work, and the hotel room was needed just for the exam, the "deeper pockets" guideline makes sense. The earlier point about "who wants the exam more" might also come into play (although hopefully, both doctor and patient are equally eager).

The deeper pocket argument definitely makes sense. But one should look at the entire trip, in general, to determine what the fair share of costs should be. For example, if the doctor or patient is in town on business, it makes no sense for anyone to pay (someone else is picking up the tab). If one of the play partners is flying from out of town, it makes sense for the other person to cover the hotel costs. Then there is patient specific equipment that needs to be considered - for example, even though I personally use metal speculums and anoscopes, I do not use them on any other patients (I know they need to be disinfected before next use anyway. The way I look at it is that even if I reduce the risk of infection by 1% on my play patients, the money spent is well worth it).

All in all the experience should be enjoyable for all concerned and no-one should have to come back later and think about having spent too much. I always make it a point to ask my play patients how much they would be comfortable spending without the thought ever coming to their mind about having spent to much. This is done even before I know what the expenses are likely to be. I do the same for myself and usually between the two, it works out. However, if it does exceed, the best idea is to divide the expenses proportionate to the "budget that does not cause any sweat", if neither of the pockets is deep enough to cover it.

I discuss the logistics well upfront because closer to the play exam to avoid getting into situations where you have an useless argument rather than using the time for med play

PlayMichael, who likes the logistics to be well planned out

I have paid for the room if I was doing a couple of exams with other ladies. Sometimes I had the lady pay and times if might be split.

My only experience has been out of state. So I paid for room as the patient as I needed a room to stay in. Dr comes to my room and brings his equipment.

I would imagine the person hosting the exam. At least in my case that is what I do.

Everyone knows that doctors make a shitload of money and can clearly afford the hotel room bill, unless the doctor is still paying off med school loan, in which case he might also ask a wealthy patient to contribute.

Everyone knows that doctors make a shitload of money and can clearly afford the hotel room bill, unless the doctor is still paying off med school loan, in which case he might also ask a wealthy patient to contribute.

Ummm yeah. $237,000 in student loan debt, that shitload of money after my student loan payments let's me drive a second hand Honda Civic and live from paycheck to paycheck.

Still, I generally will pick up the check, although dinner may be Denney's instead of the local steak house.

Doc.. who is willing to accept donations.

(The donations part is a joke.. But not by much..)

Wait, we’re talking about a PLAY session here, right? The Dr is very likely NOT a Dr. And even if he/she is, this is 2 people mutually getting together for play. I don’t think it’s inherently incumbent on either the dominant or submissive party to pay for things that benefit them both.

If one party volunteers, that’s fine. Or if there is a severe income/wealth disparity, then the obvious applies. Otherwise splitting seems the right way to go. Or one person gets credit for traveling far, or paying for meals or something.

@CJ999

I don’t think it’s inherently incumbent on either the dominant or submissive party to pay for things that benefit them both.

@docinny45

Ummm yeah. $237,000 in student loan . . . Doc.. who is willing to accept donations.

(The donations part is a joke.. But not by much..)

Apologies - You both are right! Can you tell that one way I helped work myself through college about 40 years ago was cleaning house for and babysitting for a well established doctor and his gold digger lazy wife? No wonder there has been a bit of resentment worked up on my part, but doubtless the doctor had worked hard to get where he was in life. His wife, however, seemed to make a career out of being the “society wife” with its benefits and took care to never confuse herself with me, a hard working college student who was putting herself through college.

So, YES, let each PLAY doc and the PLAY patient figure what works in their situation.

Ummm yeah. $237,000 in student loan debt, that shitload of money after my student loan payments . . . .

My father in law has current residents for whom he is an attending who will be three quarters of a million dollars in debt when they finish their specialty training.

It's definitely wrong to assume how much money anyone has.

The costs involved in travel and hotel rooms should be split evenly or according to agreed upon parameters.

No one should expect to get a free ride.

I would definitely split the cost if we were both traveling. But I would be more than willing to pay the hotel cost if they were coming to me, regardless of being the patient or Doc. I would appreciate the same in return if I was to travel to her. Just my opinion.

$237,000 in student loan debt

Holy crap, uni is expensive there!

As for the topic, there shouldn't be any hard and fast rule. That's for the two people to work out themselves. Obviously, if there's a huge income gap - especially if one of them is low income - that can determine who pays what and how much.

Pleased to pay for my guests/patients

The costs involved in travel and hotel rooms should be split evenly or according to agreed upon parameters.

No one should expect to get a free ride.

While that might be true in some instances I am more than happy to pay. I travel for business so these type of costs are easily absorbed. It all really depends on the circumstances.

I think it depends on the circumstances. I’ve generally paid for hotel rooms as both doc and patient. In some cases I was traveling for work or pleasure anyway so had the room. In a couple of cases I’ve gone to someone else’s hotel room while they were traveling.

Fortunately I have guest points from a lot of work travel, so it’s less of an imposition for me than it might be for other players, and I don’t want a play scene to have a financial dimension for anyone.