I think the pleasure was always there, along wit the pain. I suppose I made the connection during my first self-administered enema. I would have been 12. It was the next day following my transition from training bra to a real A cup bra(I ended up with D!)
I was raised by my father. I don't know my mother.
at that point I had gotten enough enemas that I was comfortable just asking for one when I knew it would make me feel better.
I suppose I had already had some sexual feelings related to enemas. I knew that Dad had a 3qt bag he used on himself, but he had only used a 2qt bag or smaller(another story) on me.
When I asked him on a Friday afternoon after we got back from the store if I could have an enema the next morning, he said, " You are becoming a woman now, and you've had enough enemas in your life that you know how to do the whole procedure. From now on, I think you are ready to self-administer. This once, I will stay in the room and guide and coach you through, but I will only intervene if you do something dangerous or get into a jam you don't know how to get out of, like a clogged hose or something. Otherwise, it will be YOUR enema! after this one, I want you to leave the bedroom and bathroom doors open, and take them only when I'm home, so I can come and help you out if something really goes wrong, Otherwise it will be your own enema."
I asked him, "How would you respond if I wanted to use the 3-qt bag?" He said, "I am going to recommend that you not, but I won't stop you if you do, because you ARE one of the tallest 12-year-olds in your school.(I'm now 5'11")but I'm not sure you are ready to increase the volume by half. Out of respect, however, I WILL let you make that decision for yourself!" I used the 3-qt bag! Epsom salt and soapsuds! In the knee-chest position. With the knees on a slightly higher pillow than the breasts. I got it all in! That was the first time I doubted myself since my first 2-qt when I was 9!
I got to the second wave, and something totally new happened to me! I felt my vagina tighten to where I don't think you could have gotten one of those plastic coffer stirrers into it! It stared to pulse, and I let out a holler. What came out was a little-girl high pitched squeal, then another, then several more! It was all I could do to retain the big enema! My whole abdomen was convulsing, and I could not breathe!
Dad said," This can happen to any woman!! Just hang on, don't leak, and try to enjoy it! If you can! Whatever you do, don't panic, this is one of several normal responses. We'll talk about it after the enema is out!" I didn't hear much more anyway! As quick as it started, then, it was over! The rest of the enema went pretty normal. I was able to retain the needed 15 minutes, with some struggle.
It came out pretty well also! Took me about 25 minutes to fully pass it. After it was over, the normal procedure was to lie down on my back or side and rest for 30 minutes or more sometimes as much as an hour, before proceeding to the second round. I was just about to lie down, and Dad said, "You will probably want to replace the towel covering the knee pillow with a clean one. I don't think you want to lie in that. It's on your dorm shirt as well, and you might want to change that. Put both of them right in the laundry! I looked at the towel and there was a softball-size slimy wet spot on it, and one a little bigger on my dorm shirt. I said, "Did I DO THAT?" He said, "If you don't come away from this experience with anything else, understand that it is NOT SOMETHING YOU DID! IT IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU!" It can happen to any woman anytime during an enema! There is absolutely NO WAY to ever know when it will happen again, only that it will! It could be the next enema, it could be several years! It's not something you have much control over in that situation! When it does happen again, just ride it out, try to enjoy it, and try to keep the enema in! You've had your first adult sexual experience. You are still in that gray zone between a child and an adult, and these feelings are always possible. That is one of the reasons I want you to get used to self-administering. If you had a mother, you could probably let her give you enemas for another year or so, but since you don't , it's time to cut that particular apron string! Now get the towel changed, and change your dorm shirt!
I got to a clear return after 4 rounds. He did not use the word Orgasm for several more months, but it was clear that is what I had. He always wanted me to be comfortable with my own sexuality.
12 years later, when I got married, he explained to me a few days before my wedding that he always felt that part of the reason he and his mother never got along was because she was not only uncomfortable with her own body, but uncomfortable around those who were comfortable with their bodies, He wanted me to grow up "Healthier than that" and he felt I mostly had!