Before I met my husband I lived with a guy who was a crossdresser.
Perhaps because I am bi, I didn't find it a bit of a turn off. In fact it was kinkily fun for me when he transformed. It wasn't just his looks that changed, there was a clear shift in his personality. As a man he was a man, he thought and behaved like a man, and I related to him the way I relate to a man.
When he dressed en femme he became so unbelievably feminine, not just in appearance but in the way he behaved and related to me. Because he was slender and not overly tall, and had fine facial features, he became a very believable girlfriend visually, but more, he became feminine in his own self-perception. I found it pretty easy to make the mental transformation with him, and relate to him as I would relate to another woman.
We often did go out when he was en femme, and to my knowledge he never once failed to pass. When we made love his touch was different. The femme in him was every bit as real as the masculine in him, and each had its place in his mind and feellings, and each had my acceptance and appreciation. While I am naturally a pretty girly girl, I do have a tomboy side, and there were times at home when I'd be in a t-shirt and jeans, and he'd be in the prettiest dress!
Here is the thing: he was not gay. C'mon, I'm fully bi, and I know the difference. He was not sexually attracted to males when he was in either persona. I even got a confirmation of that once when he inadvertently left up a trail of internet porn sites. Every one was of nude females.
I admit it was kind of a mind-blower in the beginning to lean my breasts against "her" soft (latex) breasts while at the same time he had his penis deep in me, but I got used to it pretty quickly. While neither of us were into real dom/sub stuff, as a man he was the strong masculine leader in our sex play. When en femme, I was the more dominant, and he more receptive. His fem side went a long way to fulfilling my lezzy desires, although at that time in my life I did occasionally have other gg girlfriends. Now those desires are unfulfilled, darn it, since my now husband is "just" a guy and he and I are committed by our willing mutual choice to sexual monogamy.
I am told that male to female crossdressing is the single most common sexual paraphilia in the United States. OMG, what are they going to do next, take enemas?
Hugs,
Diane
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