I was just reading a post on here about a fantasy regarding gay sex and dominance and such and wanted to give my "background". I guess it might be appropriate, but I think maybe some people my understand why i post the way I do on here and have a small insight as to why some females might be the way they are.
I'm Catholic and both of my parents denied me any type of sex education, except what the school taught. When I was about ten, I read a Judy Blume book that contained one masterbation scene and right about the same time I had also watched the menstruation video at school and had noticed that I was developing quicker than my friends. I was upset that I already had "things" (I know guys like it clean, so I wont go into detail) going on with my body that I was confused about. I started playing with "items" (creams, pads, douches, thermometers etc) that were in people's bathroom cabinets.
After finding a baby diaper in someone's cabinet, I realized that I wanted one of my own to play with. I schemed and asked my mom at the store if I could have some for my cabbage patch doll, Jane. She was a little hesitant and we were really poor at the time (all used clothes and food donations from the food bank), but she bought me a really small pack of some clearanced luvs and I thanked her profusely for them. i got home and put one on Jane and played with her. The next day I knew I needed to try one. So as a bicycle enthusiast, I put one on and went to ride bikes with friends. IT WAS AWESOME. Feeling the squishy padding against my bottom that would have been on a broken bike seat was wonderful.I did this every time I rode bikes and never wet them.
The baby diapers ended up being used on other dolls by my sister and I. The one on Jane remains on her to this day. But soon, I got more interested in boys and disregarded that I had liked diapers in the first place. I began to have a crush on a boy in 6th grade. No boy had actually liked me before that point (I was very much a tomboy) and I was thrilled. He asked me to the only dance that 6th graders were allowed to attend and we fast danced most of the time. Near the end of the dance, we decided to slow dance and he put his hands on my butt. Not really sure of the rules of slow dancing, I did the same to him. I felt something squishy and poofy. OMG it was a diaper... a wet diaper. I was polite about my reaction and went home that day really scared. The next weekend he had previously invited a few of my friends and I to a pizza party at Pizza Hut. A friend's mom drove us there early and we walked the mall and talked about Daniel. About ten minutes before we were supposed to meet him, he and his friend rode up on their bikes. We all had a really good time. About ten mininutes before his mom was going to pick him and his bike up (his friend had to be home a little earlier and had left) he tried to kiss me. My friends were all watching and I was scared, so I blurted out, "daniel is a diaper boy". He froze and started to cry. My friends started laughing and we all started to tease him. His mom pulled up ready to take us all home, but saw Daniel's tears. She cussed us out for about ten minutes. Daniel didnt return to school on Monday, nor did I ever see him again. In hindsight, I wish I would have been nicer. I regret the way I acted and I can't help laughing at the Irony of the situation. I really wonder what happened to Daniel, but I hope he's ok.
High school came and went. I got asked out once or twice, but really guys didnt have an interest in me. I was still confused about sex, scared of God throwing lightening bolts at me if I had sex and masterbated profusely every night. I had a free perido during the day and decided to be the band director's aide. He gave me free reign of the computer and during that time the internet was not filtered by schools yet. I met "regular" guys online and started to meet them. I also began checking out sites such as crinklebutt, daily diapers, alt and deeker. I was confused why I wanted to look at diaper things, but really started to question it.
When I was 18, I was very scared about sex still and started to be dumb and meet guys offline in person. To make it nice and clean, they basically used and abused me to their liking, never having intercourse with me because I begged them not to, it became odd. I still am not sure as to why I did it, other than I just wanted companionship and didnt know how to obtain it.
When I was 19, I met a guy on daily diapers. He was two years older and had moved out here as an art major from the east coast. He was cute and seemed nice. After long nights of talking and several conversations, we decided to meet at a park near his appartment. (The funny thing is, the park was the same one that I used to play at when I visited my grandparents, so I was VERY familiar with the area). We walked around the park and I felt very comfortable with him. His roomates had left, so he invited me to his apartment for a drink. We had some soda and he asked if I wanted to see his room.I walked into a very scary room (similiar to the 40 yr old virgin's house), that had shelves and shelves of action figures and cardboard scenes.Even the bathroom had these things. Still, I was trying not to be judgemental and was excited to have met someone like myself. We were watching a movie and he said, "I need to poop". I sort of ignored him and smelled something. He asked me if I was going to change him. I told him I wasnt comfortable with it. He then kept pushing it and asking more and more. He got mad and asked why I had come there then. He locked the door to his room and threatened to not change me and not let me go if I didnt changed him. His roomates got home and I dashed for the door and left. He called me every Summer after that, we did hang out again and I changed his wet diaper, but he never would diaper or change me. He always made me feel like I was less than him, but I just needed to play, so I went to hang with him.
Then there was L. L was with someone and only wanted to be friends, perfect. We hung out, drove around and talked to each other in baby talk. We would cuddle and feed each other bottles and wet diapers, but not change each other because of his being in a relationship. He called me up one day and said he couldnt hang anymore because he was engaged and didnt want to ruin it. We ended it and it was ok. About 6 years later, he imed me on aim and we still talk to this day. (They didnt end up marrying)
The next few experiences I had, I'm not going to go into detail because I'm prolly boring some people at this point and they are kind of a tough thing for me to revisit. If you really want to know the story, I have no problem telling it, I just don't want to right now.
I met a guy off of aby. He was really nice and after about three weeks of good, long conversations we decided to meet. Long story short, he ended up sexually assaulting me and it was pretty bad.
One of the guys who was supposed to meet up with us that night I ended up not meeting for two years because I was very angry at him (long story). We met up three or four times and on the fifth time, he tried to make me give him oral and threatened to not drive me home if I did not change his diaper. I talk to him now, but I wont hang out with him anymore.
I then met my first boyfriend and he was awesome and I still love him as a human. He's great. Only thing is, he is strictly DL. I would diaper him, but he was afraid of a women's down there and would never diaper or change me unless I begged. So he put a diaper on me, but thats it, not cleaning or powder. We had a fantastic relationship otherwise and still hang out once in a while.
I met several guys inbetween the first and second boyfriends. Most of them I have met and remain friends, however, they are strictly baby boys and will not diaper me. I also met a guy I had awesome sex and conversations with, but he was a sissy and very much just into that.
My second boyfriend I met was on daily diapers. He was very new to the scene and just knew that he liked them. After meeting and having a 9 hour conversation, we pretty much started dating. Slowly, we began to discover our relationship. Privacy was an issue, so we spent a lot of time talking. he confinded in me that he always wanted to wear womens clothing. Long story short, I helped him fufill his fantasy of being a full blown sissy. I was always the dominate one and I think he watched me diaper myself once. Overall, outside of the fetish, he was an ideal and supportive boyfriend and I love him still as a person.
The guy who just dumped me was my ideal. He was both a baby and a daddy, very into experimenting, around my age, in the same profession and just all-around attractive. The only problem was that he is 2711 miles away. That was the official deal breaker according to him. i really wish we could have played in person, but the 900 hours that we spent on the phone, the caming we did and the texts, I still love him dearly and hope it works out.
It's funny, i already have two guys who want to hang out because they heard from a guy friend I am "single". obviously, it's been two weeks, I'm not ready and I still love my boyfriend. But I feel sometimes in this fetish, that a women is like a fish infront of dolphins. I'm not saying that I feel helpless and men are irressitibly attracted to any women. However, I feel like sometimes, in this fetish, that some people are more selfish than they think.I tend to be on the opposite spectrum. just wanted to share how i am becoming jaded.