That little green box

There is a little green square that appears when you are online. I was thinking the users should able to change the color of that square to better indicate their status. I have thought of a few possible examples. Nothing has been defined yet. Please give us your suggestions.

Yellow I am getting an enema as I type, may go offline at any moment.

Brown I am sitting on the toilet with my wireless laptop expelling but still reading the board.

Green All is well, just enjoying reading the board.

Blue I am read a thread if great interest.

Violet I am horny hoping to go to status yellow or pink soon.

Pink Offline participating in enema play.

Orange Toilet is clogged.

Red Toilet is overflowing.

Black Offline.

White ?

White with black stripes Undefined

Green with orange dots Illegal use of color space.

The HTML color space is usually defined by a 24 bit value. That means there are over 16.7 million possible color values. (not that the eye can differentiate them all) Sometime the color space is compressed to 8 bits or 256 colors. With 256 colors we should be able to do a pretty good job of conveying the users status. We just have to define what the different colors mean. The box could also be flashing a color. The rate of the flash could indicated the degree of the condition. The box could also be cycling between colors if more that one condition exists. Any suggestions?

P.S. Sorry the formatting is bad. Text tabs do not seem to work. I guess I should have used tables.

Good idea; I'm a brown currently

I didn't think of it when I first proposed the system but people are already using the colors as a code to convey their current condition in messages. The CB people used to do that. Being that the colors have numeric values we could come up with a 10 -## system for enemates. I think we should use a different first number that 10, so it is obvious the numbers are part of the enemate code system. Ham radio people also use code, so as they would say: 73

And 88's................

Interesting suggestions.

Perhaps someone could make a tiny egg shaped device that you would connect to your pc with a wire just like mouse. And that egg shaped thing - once inserted - would make a constant analyze and update your status code in the Forum. It would also be able to report the "overdose of enjoyment" -situation as you naturally cant type anything on that moment...

The image is a .gif, those are limited to 8 bit color 😜

I thought only police use 10-codes, and HAM types use Q-codes.

This is probably the funniest suggestion I've seen in a while 😃

Webmaster: I like your idea. I was thinking about making it wireless, to pass ICE 60601-1 (medical electronics isolation standard) but the wire would useful to remove the sensor from your orifice. Maybe wire to Bluetooth - Bluetooth to USB connection. (USB is probably easier for the listserve software to deal with, no floating IP addresses. (Also negates Access Point, DHCP problems for the sensor.) Also Bluetooth is shorter range. (Who wants your nosey neighbors knowing the status your ass.) I think the sensor would actually be better if it was an external to the body contact sensor. With an insertable sensor there may be a "Conflict of Orifice" problem. Judging from some of the threads I have read here, some of the members may be doing more that just read and typing while on this board. I am proposing a waterproof taint mounted sensor (taint cunt (or balls), taint ass) - slang for perineum (This link has a good technical explanation, with pictures (even has red arrow pointers to pinpoint the exact locations) of the proposed mounting location.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perineum

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, taint mounted sensor would be the best location to gather the information of interest. Do you have any preferences as to what language the local API would be written in, java, pearl, php?

Insanity Prevails --- Fred

P.S. There has been some discussion of board members using their wireless laptops, to participate on the board, while sitting on the toilet. Most toilets are connected to a grounded water and sewage system. I would advise those members to be running their laptop on battery power and wireless internet only, while sitting on the pot. Unless you have ICE 60601-1 approved battery charger/eliminator and your bathroom is also wired to that standard you are putting yourself in a life threatening position. You do not want to shock the shit out of yourself. The people of this board know a better way to facilitate the transport and relocation of feces => ENEMAS

Michael2: 73 (these days) usually means best regards and is usually taken to mean "Later Dudes, I'm out of here". 88 is more "Hugs and Kisses" which might fly between some of the members here. There is 33 which is lady to lady salutation. I was going to say lesbian but that is probably an over interpretation the explanation I found at:

http://www.ac6v.com/73.htm

Bluetooth doesn't speak TCP/IP so there's no need for DHCP or even an access point of any kind (aside from the host machine of course, but it's no additional hardware to the end user as long as they have a BT capable lappy or cell). Typically in small electronics you would use a serial protocol at normal TTL levels (or 3.3V) to communicate between the BT module and the sensor's microcontroller.

Ideally for such a sensor you'd use XBee for wireless communications, there are many reasons why it's better for embedded electronics than bluetooth. Namely, it uses far less power which means more power for vibration. It does less than bluetooth, it's nothing more than a slightly glorified serial wireless modem that can be paired with other devices. In it's high range mode, it gets over 2 miles (we've tested this) at about 300 baud, which is more than enough bandwidth for simple sexual metrics and datalogging, depending on the resolution you need. The short range mode goes about 300 meters, and I can't remember it's bandwidth off hand. Range can also be managed by antennae design. XBee modules are less than half the price of a BT module, and they interface cleanly with uC's (it's just serial, not SPI or anything wacko). This would require custom hardware though that the user would plug in to their machine. This hardware would consist of no more than a USB to serial interface (FTDI makes a great one) and some power filtering capacitors.

As for what language the glue should be written in, I'd say Java for both client and server. This keeps porting to a minimum and with a little work the client software can be ran from a cell phone that can run JavaME and Bluetooth.

Re: Laptop shock hazard: Wired ethernet passes 5v at 500mA max. If you drop an ethernet plug in water with the other end plugged in to a network, nothing happens. The bit about the battery charger still applies.

What I said about this being funny as hell *also* still applies 😃

Gazeebo: The 10-## codes are different than the Q-codes. My understanding of Q-codes it that they were invented for Morse code transmissions, to reduce the amount of key pounding necessary to transfer information. Many of the Q-codes deal with station operations and signal quality eg: QRP, QSO, QSL. The numeric 2 digit ham code were a further attempt to reduce fist fatigue. I am not sure about the origins of the 10-## codes (if we really need to know we can always look in "The Great Database in the Wire", sometimes referred to as the internet. Keep in mind, the accuracy of that information is probably no better than 75%) I think the 10 code stuff was invented for audio transmission.

Thank you for the heads up on the gif info. I think you are telling me the green square is a .gif. I should have looked at the page source before I rambled on about 24 bit color. Gifs are precomputed images. The only time I tried dynamically changing the color of a gif was a long time ago. (probably pre Y2K) I used color map animation . There is probable a better way to do now.(this is the future!)

I think the first thing that need to be done, to implement this scheme, is to compile and agree upon a list of possible status conditions we have all have experience while on this board and participating in our enema play. So pay attention to how and what you feel and what you would like to convey to the other members, and post it here. Power to the little square!

Once again I have probably taken to much cold medication --- Fred

Entirely too much cold medication, or it must be one helluva cold 😜

Nowadays if you needed a dynamic image you'd just call a script that outputted the image as if it were any other file being served up. It's very simple, only a few lines to serve up an image from a database in Java. As long as the MIME types are sent properly and HTTP as a whole is adhered to, nobody or nothing will even realize it's being fed a script for an image.

Gazeebo: It is fun being technically ridiculous, isn't it? I think we have to be a little bit careful we do not bore the nontechnical members. We should probably mention the word enema to peak interest.

When I first mentioned wireless, I was talking about 802.11. I thought it would be good to discuss the disadvantages, all the while planning to propose Bluetooth.

Your ethernet cable can kill in a couple ways. I think the signals are transformer coupled (to prevent ground loops and as a high pass filter to reduce the bandwidth of the radiated noise. (the FCC is watching you!) I think power over ethernet can have a maximum value of 25 volts. (limit on unshielded plenum cable). I am not sure about the 5 volts @ 500 ma you talked about. So normally you could possibly end up with 25 volts touching the end of your pee-pee. I bet you would move you pee-pee away from the 25 volts rather quickly. But on a bad day the isolation, of the power over ethernet, powersupply might have failed and your dicky might end up talking to 168 VDC (the peak value of the 120 VAC rms after the line rectifier and storage capacitor of the switching power supply. Or the isolation of the "wall-wart" transformer could fail. Or the ethernet cable could short to building power, somewhere along its run. In either case your dicky is going to try to make the power meter, on your house, spin faster. Your dicky will retract itself, from this shocking situation, with such velocity it will pull into your body, turn inside out and stick out your ass, a condition that is not easily rectified.

Sometimes the nontechnical members of the board have not been informed of this possibility. Sometimes, if this happens to one of the members, they are too embarrassed to talk it about to the other members or they are dead, so this good to know information, has a tendency to propagate slowly, if not at all. So to restart the propagation I thought I would just mention it.

Remember A member is a terrible thing to waste!

I try to keep my dick looking kind of the way it looked when I first got it. --- Fred

[quote author=Webmaster link=topic=15782.msg162584#msg162584 date=1230719556]

Interesting suggestions.

Perhaps someone could make a tiny egg shaped device that you would connect to your pc with a wire just like mouse. And that egg shaped thing - once inserted - would make a constant analyze and update your status code in the Forum. It would also be able to report the "overdose of enjoyment" -situation as you naturally cant type anything on that moment...

[/quote]

So, that is what it takes to get the webmaster involved in the discussions--techie talk! 😁 We should have known. What do you say, ladies, a prime example of boys and their toys? 😉 I think I understand just enough of what is being said to make me think it is all tongue-in-cheek, but I could be wrong. :😃 I am also not saying that I don't understand it all because of my gender, it is just not my area of expertise.

Lady DI: How can you be wrong? Only men are wrong. And yes it is tongue and cheek (but who's and which cheek) It is sometimes called technobabble. I would be fun to have this feature. So far I have only suggested usages of 8 of the 256 possible colors. Women are more in touch with their feeling so should be able more finely resolve possible statuses. If the members can not think of more than 128 status states, I was going to suggest splitting the colors in half between men and woman. That way, once you learn the meaning of all the colors you would be able to tell the gender of the member, without having to go look at the members profile, being that some member names are somewhat gender ambiguous.

Plus I might as well use up all the extra brain cycles I have on something silly and fun instead of just executing NO-OPs. There are some scientific research projects that take a similar approach. You can download software that lets your computer participate in one of these projects, when you are not using it and it is in screensaver mode. One project is searching for prime numbers and another is doing protein folding. There are probably others. (There are also netbot programs that spam the rest of the world when you computer has nothing to do.)

Better enemas through engineering --- Fred

P.S. Boys and their toys. These are the kind of things boys start playing with when there aren't enough female enemates to play with. Recruit some of your friends. Help find some of the women who secretly like enemas and are too shy to tell anyone. Those poor ladies are riding the nozzle solo when they could have an enthusiastic partner to share the fun with. We need more women in the ranks or there could be more of this crazy crap!

P.S.2 I started this silly thread because my enemate girlfriend went to hes sisters house for the holidays. Idle hands or When the cat is away.

I pretty much thought that this was all in fun. A sort of brain exercise for the techies among us, but it started out sounding like our very own version of "the hanky code". What I said was all in fun, as well.

802.11 is just an over the air transmission protocol, like PSK-31, ATM, or ethernet frames (layer 2). If the power drain on bluetooth is bad, the power drain from anything speaking 802.11b (the least power intensive) will drain it before the sensor even has a chance to twix your neathers!

This does allow the device to be completely independent though if it can speak TCP/IP to the rest of the world directly. Power savings can be had by only "phoning home" every several minutes in burst transmissions of data. Again, it's all a matter of what kind of resolution we want. I think every 5 minutes is often enough.

I like your idea about cutting the spectrum in half and having 128 states for women and 128 states for men. This really would improve the at-a-glance usefulness factor of the icon that we're trying to achieve.

I'm also interested in a plugin for my instant messaging client that will update my status message. This device has a lot of potential applications! It also needs a name. I was thinking Taint mountEd Sexual sTatus notIfication Sensor, or TESTIS for short.

Lady Di: This is entirely for fun 😃 Talk geek to me baby 😜 If you want the technobabble to stop, find us some enemates! They're the only people that can drag us away from our toys (or make us use our toys on them... hehehe....)!

ATM? sorry gazeebo, i don't go that way.... 😁

but Lady Di -

i love your idea... and practically every other thing in the thread was over my head. Except the status-indicating insertable egg. i liked that idea, too - makes me wonder what kind of readings i'd get when on this site. Also, i have a coffee mug that i positively love, it says "leave me alone, i'm having a sexual fantasy." Can we get a color for that?

eff

Absolutely! Like he said, only 8 of the 256 colors have been allocated! "Idly fantasizing about my next sexual encounter" should absolutely be one of them!

This is best considered an experiment in ridiculousness, though.

Whoa! Is that your "little green box" or are you just happy to see me? 😁

See I told you women would have some good ideas for the things that should be indicated.

I wonder if it was a mistake telling the women this is only a fantasy. I thought if I didn't tell them at some point the women would get pissed we told them we were going to do something and didn't do it. I have seen it happen before.

Looky here, >😢 fred! That is condescending and insulting. 😉 No one had to "tell the women" that this was a joke. And "pissed"?-you ain't seen nothin' yet! 😁

Go ahead, make my day. 😎

That's Fred to you.

I just said it was joke to cover up the fact we built an actual prototype and it has managed to killed 3 people so far. Why do you think I started posting about the electrical shock hazard of using you laptop in the bathroom. We were testing an undocumented function where the computer instead of reading your body status, sets your body status. This was going to let other people take you through different levels of pleasure. I talked about some of this in the thread about cyber enemas. The program we were testing was the virtual enema program. One person gets an actual enema. The computer reads that persons feeling and instills those feelings into other people. They get the all feelings of the enema, without actually getting the enema. We figured this would be good for times when you are at work and feel horny for an enema. You could call a friend and ask them to take an enema, transmit the feeling to you and you would have the enema experience and not feel horny anymore. We were testing the API (application program interface) for that new operation system that they are having a hard time getting people to like, when it crashed and put up the "blue screen of death" and took 2 of the virtual users with it. When attached to our device the blue screen of death really is the blue screen of death. (In your post you talked about being pissed and that "you ain't see nothin' yet. Actually when the system crashed there was a suprising amount of piss.) We are currently rethink this part of our design. The other unfortunate person had a bad power pack for his laptop. He was in our kitchen making some instant soup. He touched his laptop while filling the cup with water.

Oh well. The best laid plans of mice and men. Back to the drawing board. (actually it is the CAD system)

P.S. Lady DI: If you want us to "make your day" we have this other undocumented function we want to test and are looking for a test subject.

P.S.2 We would appreciate it if you would keep our little setback under hat.

Rolling up my pants legs, it is getting Phd. in here.

[quote author=fredmushell link=topic=15782.msg163766#msg163766 date=1230914205]

an undocumented function where the computer instead of reading your body status, sets your body status.[/quote]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

[quote author=fredmushell link=topic=15782.msg163766#msg163766 date=1230914205]

Oh well. The best laid plans of mice and men.

[/quote]

Don't you mean "The best laid plans of mice"? 😜

You were right, we should've kept it a secret. Now the ladies won't get off to our technobabble 😢