This is a true story of my wife's appointment to have a Mirena Coil fitted.
My wife and I arrived at the hospital with about 10minutes to spare before our appointment, we booked in at reception and went through to the waiting area, the waiting area is set out as a large square with seats around the edges, so everyone was facing towards each other, there were two younger girls, looking nervous and filling out forms on clipboards, every now and again they'd point something out on the form and giggle, a few other couples and a lady in her early 40's who was reading a book, everytime the nurse came into the waiting area everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and looked up expectantly, you could see the thought "my turn?" running through their minds.
The doctor came out and called my wife's name "Helen do you want to come through?"
Helen grasped my hand "Come on " and together we walked towards the consulting room, as we walked in the doctor was sat at his desk in the corner of the room, there were two chairs next to the desk and a curtain was drawn across, dividing the room in two. The curtain stopped short of the floor by about 6" and through this gap we could see a yellow plastic bucket lined with a plastic bag, and the wheels of a stainless steel hospital trolley, I knew this would contain all the equipment that was required to fit Helen's coil, and my heart fluttered a bit at the thought.
We sat down and the doctor introduced himself, " you'd like a coil fitted today then?" he asked, Helen explained that our baby was two months old and that she'd like a Mirena coil fitted, rather than a copper device, she explained that we didn't want any more children, (one of each is more than enough LOL) and that she suffers from heavy and painful periods, she also explained that the copper device she had fitted last time made the periods even heavier and she found herself passing a lot of clots.
The doctor agreed to fit a Mirena for Helen. He stood up and pulled back the curtain to reveal an examination couch, there was an Exam light on a floor stand and the trolley withe a Mirena in it's packet, and a surgical tray wrapped in blue paper. "I'll just pop out and get the nurse" he told us, turned and left the room, Helen looked at me and grinned "Here we go then" and gave me a quick kiss, I could already feel myself starting to stir at the thought of what I was about to witness and I quickly fought to control the feelings.I quickly grabbed my mobile phone from my pocket and took a picture of the couch and light. Helen undressed, taking her jeans and folding them neatly on the chair, next she slid off her underwear and placed them on top of her folded jeans, the doctor had given her a piece of blue tissue to protect her modesty which was about a foot square. I'm never sure why they do this, after all, the only people in the room are the doctor and nurse, who are both intently looking into her wide open vagina, and me, and I'm married to her and see everything all the time!!
Helen climbed onto the couch and sat with her legs up to her chest, she looked at me " No leg holders this time, that's a shame" When she had her last coil fitted at the same hospital the exam table she was on had knee rests, and afterwards I had to tell her how turned on I was by that, up until that point I'd only ever see her in the frog position.
I quickly took another photo whilst Helen was waiting, and managed to put the phone away seconds before the doctor and nurse came back in!
The nurse wheeled the trolley over next to the end of the couch, and started to open the surgical tray, once it was opened I could see a Cuscoe speculum, a small pot with cotton wool in, the uterine sound that they would use to measure the length of Helens uterus, a pair of scissors and a pair of Vesselum forceps for gripping the neck of the cervix and a pair of sponge holders.
As the doctor was pulling on a non sterile pair of nitrile examination gloves the nurse poured some saline from a sterile packet into the dish, ready to wash Helen's vaginal vault and around her cervix. He held out two fingers and the nurse applied some lubricating jelly to his two extended fingers, " Helen, I'm just going to check the position, size and shape of your uterus" Helen drew her knees up, her feet together, and allowed her legs to fall open, exposing herself to him, and with that he gently slid his two fingers into her vagina, I was stood at Helen's head and could see him work his fingers right inside until he couldn't enter her any more, as he pressed upwards with his two fingers of his right hand, he palpitated Helen's abdomen with his left hand, I could see the shape of the top of her uterus as he pressed down on her.Helen gave a barely perceptible sigh and squeezed my hand, I looked at her and she gave me a little smile. She later told me that she didn't think that any lubricant was actually needed!
"That seems fine" and with that he slid his fingers out of her vagina, took off his gloves and threw then in a pedal bin at the foot of the couch. "I'm just going to wash my hands" as her turned he flicked on the light and Helen's genitals were bathed in a bright white light. I stepped slightly towards the end of the couch and could see the remainder of the lubricating gel glistening on her full lips. The doctor came back into the exam area dried his hands on a sterile towel and pulled on a pair of sterile surgical gloves "OK then, I'm going to dilate you with the speculum so I can see you cervix" and he slid the speculum gently into Helen's vagina, he used no lubricant, what was left of the gel, and Helen's natural lubrication must have been enough. Helen winced a tiny bit as the speculum was opened wide and locked, she always has hated the sound of the screw as it tightens to lock her vaginal walls open, allowing the doctor to see her most intimate area.
The doctor picked up a piece of cotton wool with the sponge holders and dipped it into the saline in the pot "I'm going to give you a quick clean before I go any further" As he passed the sponge holders through the open speculum there was a faint clunk of metal hitting metal as the two instruments knocked together. Helen grimaced at me! It's funny but it's not the feelings but the sounds that she really hates.
Having thoroughly cleaned Helen's cervix the doctor picked up the Vesselum forceps, he lifted them into Helen's view, "I'm going to attach these to your cervix, they allow me to stabilise the uterus as I pass instruments through the OS"
Helen gripped my hand, "you may feel some cramping now" and with that he clamped the handles together, there was an audible click as the ratchet device locked them firmly together and Helen shifted her hips slightly in response to the cramping pains that she felt.
At this point the Doctor turned to the Nurse and asked her to go to reception to book a 6 week follow up appointment for Helen, normally the nurse would stay in the room, but the doctor was a aware that I was a healthcare provider myself and bent the rules a little to speed things up.
He picked up the uterine sound and pumped up the couch up a bit higher "Sorry, not going to break my back crouching down to get to you" he looked at me " Could you come round and adjust the light please" Helen looked a me, winked a and smiled, knowing full well that the doctor had just made my dreams come true!
I walked behind the doctor and adjusted the light so Helen's glistening OS was fully illuminated, before I could walk back he introduced the uterine sound through the os and into the uterus, the os stretched as the rounded tip of the sound entered and pushed through into her uterus, then gently closed around the shaft of the instrument as it slid deeper inter her, what an amazing sight, I could have stayed there all day. The doctor withdrew the sound, again the os stretched to allow the rounded tip to pass, but stayed slightly dilated, almost as if it was waiting for the coil to be introduced.
I walked back and stood next to Helen's head, she turned to me fixing her eyes on my genitals hidden by my shirt and grinned, knowing full well what was hidden there!
The doctor picked up the Coil in it's introducer and gently slid it into Helen " Nearly finished, worst bits over with" not realising that we were both quite enjoying the experience, he pressed the plunger on the introducer and withdrew it, placing back in the instrument tray, I could see the tip had a thin coating of blood on it, picked up the scissors and trimmed the strings of the device, taking scissors, string and speculum out in one movement.
"All done, you can get dressed again" he told Helen and disappeared back behind the curtain, Helen sat on the couch and placed a pad into her panties to soak up any bleeding she may experience, pulled them on and picked up her jeans, she slid them on, wiggling her hips at me as she pulled them up, popped hershoes on and we went back and sat next to the Doctor.
By this time the nurse had come back in with our follow up appointment, and this was given to us, together with a card saying the device needed changing in 2013, and a bleeding chart for Helen to fill out over the next three weeks, and that was it,appointment finished for 5 years, depressing really, neither of us want to wait that long, and playing isn't quite the same!