@Your_Vagina_Doctor said
This may not be verbatim, but how about the thread titled Did your pediatrician spread your butt cheeks to look at your anus? I’m here because of childhood trauma. I get that. But asking a question like that, or another thread when did the doctor first notice your pubic hair, and other similar threads are clearly over the line. This is a fetish site, and those are not questions asked because they are therapeutic. People are here for sexual gratification and that’s fine, but leave children out of it!
Had you written to us, or reported the thread, and if I had responded to what you said, I would have said that particular question was actually not nearly among the worst that moderators had seen, although that thread itself was started back in 2018, well before the moderation team came up with the statement I referred you to read. Looking at it now, the opening post lacks personal context for asking the question, which is something we now want when new threads are started. We can discuss it within the moderation team...
I appreciate how you are speaking with a background of childhood trauma, so some things discussed might awaken certain unpleasant memories in yourself and others unfortunate enough to have had similar negative, damaging experiences.
However, there is another side. It isn't too long a time since we had a newish member (unsuccessfully) trying to dictate moderation policy, insisting that any mention of an individual's memories of anything happening before the age of 18 should be banned from the site. I (quite) patiently explained to that individual that a person's sexual drives and identity don't just suddenly activate fully formed at midnight on their 18th birthday. That is clearly nonsensical, and if we enforced it, we would have members posting that on their 18th birthday they suddenly noticed girls, and that on their 18th birthday they had their first erection. It would be ridiculous. Come on...
The reality is that sexuality goes through different stages of development and maturity, beginning at a very young age. This means that certain events are formative, and members want to make sense of them. They think back to those times, contemplating how specific things have shaped their own adult sexuality. Our position is that we see such discussions as legitimate. Sometimes the discussions are expressed in arguably crude terms, but that is subjective, as is much of what we are discussing here.
What we really want to avoid are questions that fail the tests set out in the moderation statement - there should be personal context for the question, it should not be soliciting excessively graphic descriptions, and it should be clearly true and not fantasy.
Please be assured that we are quite efficient at dealing with those we discover do have paedophilic tendencies, and it leads to permanent bans. Those who come here thinking there are no boundaries don't last long - once we know about them. Sometimes, we are so fast to deal with such an individual that the vast majority of members will never have seen what was posted, due to us spotting it first and removing it.
But we need help from the membership. There are too few of us in the moderation team to see everything immediately. So please - anything that doesn't seem right, play your part and report it.