Was bare bottom spanking really that common?

My parents believed in spankings but not beatings. When I got spanked I always knew why and it was always on my bare buns. My parents used their hands in a certain cup like way that it just caused a quick sting and burn. I naturally would yell and cry. My mom always hugged me afterwards and helped me understand why she had to do this to me. We kept an open discussion as she helped me stop crying. I believe this is how it should be done... Unfortunately many parents got to beating kids bad and this today has led to society thinking all spankings are wrong. We threw the baby out with the bathwater so to say. We now have kids and young adults that mostly are messed up because they grew up with little to no discipline... Its ashame...

It wasn't common in my household growing up but I know a family where the parents still spank their kids bare bottom, they use their bare hand on the younger ones but they have a paddle they use for the older misbehaving kids.

Interesting. When my son was about 17 we left him & his older sister at home while we went off on a weeks holiday. The morning after our return I found that he & his mate had set up a disposable barbeque on my just finished timber deck & badly scorched it (No amount of sanding ever got it right) After a couple of years of teenager / parent arguments on this occasion I didn't even raise my voice, just told him I'd trusted him & he'd let me down. Never seen him in tears like that before or since!

@alan20cm a couple of years?

My parents believed in spankings but not beatings. When I got spanked with a cupped hand I always knew why and would cry

I witnessed one of my Formen yelling at one of our crew members in public were others could see and hear. Pretty much the same as these parents did. Fired him on the spot for abuse under the Employment Standards Act and Human Rights Act. There are laws against this sort of thing. Both physical and verbal abuse are abuse even if there is an excuse there wrong.

Was spanking this kid necessary? No I do not think so . All it did was create a response of crying. Symbolic and pointless. Sounds like Junior was smart enough to do whatever he wanted and not give a shit wrong or right since this painless tap on the arse ritual meant nothing. Deterrent zero.

Some sort of intimacy play? Possibly. May have even encouraged bad behaviour.

@ bad princess for me I remember it as a lesson. It to me the way my parents did it was not abuse at all. My mom always had a talk about why she did it and what I could do next time instead. She always did it out of love. Did I fuss and cry? Yes this is where the lesson came in for me. My mom as I was still crying had a loving talk with me. She in the end hugged me and said honey I hope you learned something. I did... Unfortunately many were abused and beat which is wrong. A spanking and a beating are two different things. One can be used as a tool to teach right from wrong and the other is just wrong and causes more harm than good...

I do not mean to be nasty @Eforenema1 . The experience you described is a whole different thing than corporal punishment"spanking".

A psychology student could write a thesis on this sort of thing.

I have no desire to take from your childhood experience. No finger-pointing. No accusations or name-calling.

I was beaten so often, often more than once in a day by my gin-swigging, bottle-tossing, Christian Fanatic mother I thought it was normal some sort of game we played.

It messed me up.

Communication comes in many forms. I am not a qualified psychologist. I will not tread on their ground in attempting an explanation.

Yes before you get your back up I see a shrink regularly. It helps me keep things together. I recommend it to anyone without an impartial listener.

For what it's worth, the difference between abuse and punishment is perhaps frequency. My back of the hairbrush spankings were severe; but very, very rarely took place.

I feel so sorry so many were beat and abused like this.... I can only imagine how horrible it was... The worse it got for me was being locked in a bathroom and told I had to stay there without clothes on until I pooped on the potty... That was bad but being beat bad I hurt for you that went through that... Always remember at times its good to talk about it. Get it out in the open. It is possible to heal from it and get to a place where you know it all was not your fault....

Not about real spanking, but I had a friend who never ever spanked his kids, but they don't know it. When they were small he would put them over his knee and then put his other leg in back of their legs to hold them in place and then he would spank his own thigh really hard while lecturing them, i.e. "I told you not to do that and I meant it!" With the first smack to his thigh they would start to ball like he was killing them even though he never struck them. 😃

My parents believed in spankings but not beatings.

There was a difference between a spanking and a beating. Beatings were not ever given in my family growing up. They were more violent, anger infused response to the situation. Usually not warranted, but they still occured for some. This giving corporal punishment a very bad image

We threw the baby out with the bathwater so to say. We now have kids and young adults that mostly are messed up because they grew up with little to no discipline... Its ashame...

Isn't that the truth. They had no consequence - painful response - to their negative and/or inappropriate behavior(s). Something that makes them take a pause, brief or otherwise, before doing something.

We now have kids and young adults that mostly are messed up because they grew up with little to no discipline.

There are many kinds of discipline. Disciplining someone committing a transgression needn't be physical.

Setting standards and being told you failed to uphold them can often be more effective that hitting someone. Physical punishment can just as well cause lasting resentments and/or a willingness to become a 'tough guy', someone who can take it (as often as needs be) without caring about the pain.

In many cultures, shaming or ostracizing someone from a group can be a very effective way of shaping correct behavior. A good example I have always found to be how many Native American tribes raised children. Never hitting, spanking or any physical physical punishments at all for children. Exclusion from the group was the preferred method for correcting inappropriate behavior.

And yet their culture shaped some of the bravest warriors known to history, Sioux, Cheyenne and other Plains Indians. Courage and honor being considered important social values to adhere to. Something which older folks are now essentially complaining about youngsters, about not taking responsibility towards the group.

There are many kinds of discipline. Disciplining someone committing a transgression needn't be physical.

Setting standards and being told you failed to uphold them can often be more effective that hitting someone. Physical punishment can just as well cause lasting resentments and/or a willingness to become a 'tough guy', someone who can take it (as often as needs be) without caring about the pain.

I agree with pretty much everything you wrote here @agracier .

The Touf guy definition not entirely.

any dope can learn how to take physical violence and return it. It is low and primitive. the prison system is full of examples. Even in the prison population its self.

It is not about not caring about the pain or being able to take it over and over. That sounds like the Rock Head in a Freak Show or some dorkey Super hero all muscles going GRRR I am so tough.

Being hard or tough is doing what one considers right not popular or easy and being able to live with the consequences for the rest of their life.

I make a lot of hard decisions. Some of them impact people in a bad way. I don't like doing it but I do and live with it.

I can take a beating and fight back. That does not make me tough.

Having someone spit at me in my uniform or Call me a fucking Nazi because of my accent and just walk away or let others have their say and listen to their opinions and perceptions when they are different and accepting them as valid without trying to push mine over top like a steam roller.

Walking into a bad situation and owning it,

Taking bad news and accepting things as they are as bad as they may be and moving forward and adapting without winning or hitting the bottle in a self absorbed pity party.

Admitting your wrong and apologizing, Being honest, Not trying to place blame just fixing the problem.

Recognizing you need help and not being too proud to accept it when offered or ask for it when needed .

Self-respect, self-control, self-discipline, self-confidence.

Combine those ingredients and you have a very rare thing called integrity.

It can not be beaten into someone or taught it has to be found and forged by the owner.

The thing is to forge integrity it has to be seen. An example is needed to start the fire in the forge. Over the years it is hammered out.

This is something one learns by watching others.

Teaching someone to use brute force to bend others will isn't the best example to set. If you want to beat your kid we might have well of handed things

over to the Axis in WW2 and hell not even bothered with WW1 Stuff anyone that does not conform into a re-education camp and beat the crap out of them or starve them till theys learn to do things us ways and love the Jesus. Touf guys can run it.

Setting a good example through intellect is not easy. It does give the best results.

Youth today do not lack discipline.

They lack leadership. That is the fault of the previous generation.

Take the blame when it is yous.Being whoped on the arse did not do you a dam bit of good.

Some Rock Head that can be hit with a 2X6 over the head is not tough. Their an Idiot for not moving out of the way. Even letting it happen in the first place is a stupid choice to make. It sure is not being a tough guy.

There are many kinds of discipline. Disciplining someone committing a transgression needn't be physical.

Setting standards and being told you failed to uphold them can often be more effective that hitting someone. Physical punishment can just as well cause lasting resentments and/or a willingness to become a 'tough guy', someone who can take it (as often as needs be) without caring about the pain.

In many cultures, shaming or ostracizing someone from a group can be a very effective way of shaping correct behavior.

I don’t believe spanking is effective discipline 99% of the time, and should be limited to the occasional swat to get the kids attention. Some say even that is not good. Agree there are more effective ways, setting standards and expectations and giving positive reinforcement when they are observed sets kids on a course to do better than just avoid punishment they will resent. But some alternative punishments can do more harm than good. Excessive shaming or humiliation can result in low self esteem and inferiority issues. Good Parenting isn’t easy, and balancing messaging between positive and negative feedback behavior is an art.

@BottomFromTheTop

Your gym spanking story was very exciting. A frequent fantasy of mine.

They were at my place growing up and as a parent

I have probably replied to the third before but I can't recall, but the spankings I got were always on the bare. Honestly, I think it is the only proper way. There are many advantages to spanking a naked bottom. It is more effective and it is easier to tell how effective the spanking is. It also helps avoid going to hard or not hard enough

Only a " bare bottom spanking " is a " real spanking " !!

Probably half the spankings I got from my dad growing up were not bare bottom. But he was a big, strong man with big hands and those spankings I got over my jeans hurt like hell! I would not agree that the only real spankings are bare bottom.

Certainly my own parents, my Aunt and Uncle and most of friends parents regarded a 'proper spanking' as being a bare bottom one! That was, I think, the prevailing philosophy of society in those times! The baring of the buttocks was seen as essential both because it made the spanking more effective - it hurt more on the bare skin than it would have on a clothed, or partially clothed bottom - and it was all part of the ritual and practice of an 'old fashioned spanking'! Spankings were 'events' to be long remembered and in many cases, not forgotten!

In my family it was more of a threat when misbehaving at a shop or something, "If you don't behave, I'll take you pants down and spank you right here!"

It's interesting that this played on my modesty. For whatever reason, even as a small child I was concerned about being seen naked. One time, when I was 3, my preschool brought in a wading pool for the kids to splash around in. Most kids just doffed their clothes and jumped in, but I wouldn't do it. It was also the first time I'd seen a girl naked and I remember staring intently.

Certainly my own parents, my Aunt and Uncle and most of friends parents regarded a 'proper spanking' as being a bare bottom one! That was, I think, the prevailing philosophy of society in those times! The baring of the buttocks was seen as essential both because it made the spanking more effective - it hurt more on the bare skin than it would have on a clothed, or partially clothed bottom - and it was all part of the ritual and practice of an 'old fashioned spanking'! Spankings were 'events' to be long remembered and in many cases, not forgotten!

I kinda thought it went without saying that a spanking was bare bottom and I assume as much by default any time anyone mentions spanking. All of my childhood spankings were bare bottom. We were spanked bare bottom by our parents who themselves were spanked bare bottom by our grandparents who presumably were also spanked bare bottom by our great grandparents and so on. A spanking over pants doesn't really deserve to be thought of as a real spanking.

creator58, if all of the bare bottom spankings in your household were replaced by over-the-pants "spankings", how different would your childhood had been? I bet it wouldn't have taken long for your Mom and Aunt to realize the error of their ways and go back to baring bottoms before they get the hairbrush.

Absolutely, GOFS! It was taken as given that a SPANKING was a 'bare bottom one'! That's how spankings were given! Simple as that! It would never have even occurred to my Mom or Aunt to spank us in any other way! And I can speak for the overwhelming majority of folks back then! If they had been allowed to, I think even teachers would have administered bare bottom spankings! And I'm sure, 'unofficially' some of them almost certainly did! As I said spankings, in those days, were 'real events' designed to leave a 'lasting impression' and boy oh boy, did they ever!!!!

I have probably replied to the third before but I can't recall, but the spankings I got were always on the bare. Honestly, I think it is the only proper way. There are many advantages to spanking a naked bottom. It is more effective and it is easier to tell how effective the spanking is. It also helps avoid going to hard or not hard enough

As you say, spank-that-ass, it is more effective, for although a spanking on clothing might well really hurt, especially on skimpy panties or snug fitting underpants, their is nothing like being spanked on the bare skin! It will always sting and burn more on naked flesh! Also the spanker can assess the state of your bottom and the level of damage being inflicted! They can also, and this was clearly the case with my own Mother and Aunt and I think most adults back when I was growing up in the '60s and '70s, satisfy themselves with the results of their efforts; basking in the glow radiating from your buttocks! My Aunt Rose, who was definitely an avowed spanko, would often, during the course of a spanking, rest her hand on my hot, red and burning butt cheeks! My Mother herself would sometimes 'test the temperature' midway through a spanking! To them a spanking on a bottom that was not bare, would have been unthinkable!

In the late 60's. only spanked three times, but ALWAYS Bare Bottom, with a Belt.

When we "play" now, (maybe once a month or so), my wife uses a strap on my bare Bottom.... Mmmmm

Yes, in my experience, though I appreciate that others may have experienced things differently, in the '60s and '70s bare bottom spanking was ubiquitous! In the '60s also, attitudes to nudity became more relaxed and this paradoxically made parents and adults in general even more comfortable about baring kids bottoms - with the nudity, or at least partial nudity this entailed - even in public places! In fact other adults present would typically find such 'events' amusing, often cracking jokes, laughing and applauding the Mom, Dad, Aunt, etc... administering the spanking! They themselves had inevitably been in that humiliating position themselves and were glad that they could now routinely see the next generation getting their 'just deserts'! A world so very, very different from the one we inhabit now!

I grew up in the 50s. I am reasonably sure that my parents or their friends did not sit around cracking jokes or applauding as one of them was administering a spanking. However, it was common that they talked about it with one another and and they weren’t shy about administering one when their friends were over. We talked about the neighbors being present during a spanking. My college girlfriend told me how humiliated she was when she learned from a boy she wanted to date in high school that his parents had witnessed her getting a bare bottom spanking.

Yes, in my experience, though I appreciate that others may have experienced things differently, in the '60s and '70s bare bottom spanking was ubiquitous! In the '60s also, attitudes to nudity became more relaxed and this paradoxically made parents and adults in general even more comfortable about baring kids bottoms - with the nudity, or at least partial nudity this entailed - even in public places!

During my childhood in the 1970s, spanking was common. They were usually applied to bare buttocks. However, it was rare for a child to be spanked on his bare bottom in the presence of other people. This has been talked about often, it's true. However, I have never been spanked in front of other people. I have never seen friends or cousins ​​get spanked on their bare bottoms.

Yes I fully appreciate that other folks may have had different experience than I did! And I'm not saying that all children were spanked in front of others; or that when they were there was always laughing and joking!

Yes I fully appreciate that other folks may have had different experience than I did! And I'm not saying that all children were spanked in front of others; or that when they were there was always laughing and joking!

I also understand that others may have experiences different from mine. In my country, spanking was usually something given to children without witnesses. At least that was my experience, perhaps there were families where children were spanked in the presence of other people. I mean adults, because my friends who had younger sisters often got beaten in their presence.