Choices of When, Where, What, Why, and How of punishment

I read a spanking story online the other day about a boy who had two babysitters, who were instructed by his mother to spank the boy anytime they felt necessary. In the story, the mother of the boy suffers a wrist injury which made it impossible to spank the boy properly. The boy misbehaves and the mother believes that his behavior warranted a good spanking. She gives the boy a choice of whether he waits until Friday night to be spanked by the older babysitter, who is a college student, or her calling the babysitter who is a high school student and neighbor, who only babysits during the week and never overnight. The boy decides that it’s best to get it over with and his mother calls the high school babysitter who comes over and spanks the boy in front of his wrist-injured mother. Or to be grounded or spanked.

The story made me wonder how many of the readers (Male or female, and as child or adult) were here ever given a choice when it came to punishments. I might interject here that I never was. When my dad felt I did something to warrant a spanking it was off to the woodshed (really rec room) and over the pool table, I went.

The possibilities of choices are endless like a mother asking do you want it now or waiting until your father comes home. Perhaps the mother spanked the child on the bare fanny while the father does but spanks harder and longer or a teacher gives a student a choice of three whacks now or six after school in private or even a choice of spanking implements. As I wrote earlier the possibilities are endless. I am anxious to hear your reply.

I have received several spankings from babysitters early on. One was particularly strict. The babysitters and my mom were the only two who ever spanked to me growing up I never had any say in the matter. When I had a spanking coming it would be delivered then and there. The one babysitter often enjoyed the power of being able to bare my bottom and give me a very hard spanking. I am quite certain that girl was a spanko and thoroughly enjoyed blistering my ass. Unfortunately for me, she once brought a friend over who got to witness one of my particularly hard spankings. I also was paddled when I was in junior high. Again, there was no room for negotiation. I am sure that story was a fun movie, but definitely not realistic compared to my experience

Updated to correct typos

I am sure that story was a fun movie, but definitely not realistic compared to my experience

There was a 99 and 44/100 percent chance the story was fantasy; however, I did have friends growing up that were given choices regarding punishment like one told me she had the choice of a spanking or being grounded. She chose a spanking.

I have received several spankings from babysitters early on. One was particularly strict. The babysitters and my mom were the only two who ever spanked to me growing up I never had any say in the matter. When I had a spanking coming it would be delivered then and there. The one babysitter often enjoyed the power of being able to bare my bottom and give me a very hard spanking. I am quite certain that girl was a spanko and thoroughly enjoyed blistering my ass. Unfortunately for me, she once brought a friend over who got to witness one of my particularly hard spankings. I also was paddled when I was in junior high. Again, there was no room for negotiation. I am sure that story was a fun movie, but definitely not realistic compared to my experience

Spank-that-ass, what era did you grow up in?

It sounds like one of your babysitters was definitely a spanko! The fact that when she spanked she invited a friend over to witness your spanking points strongly to that! One wonders how many babysitters in the past who were probably subjected to spankings themselves enjoyed being on the other side for once and in a position to dish out some discipline themselves!? With what did she spank you?

As a child, I had no choice. My mom decided if I got spanked. If she made up her mind, no requests changed her mind. My mom spanked me herself, she didn't wait for my dad to come home from work (in other homes, mothers told their children that they would be spanked when dad came home from work). Nor did I decide on the form of punishment. I always had my buttocks bare for spanking. When I was a teenager, I felt like a little baby. My mother said it had to be.

I don't know what would happen if I had a choice about spanking. If another person were to spank me, I'd prefer my mom. I got spanked twice by someone other than my mom and it was very embarrassing. I've never been spanked in front of other people. I'd rather get a more painful spanking, but without witnesses.

As a child, I was never given the choice. As a sub, that could add a whole new layer of humiliation/ submissiveness. Do you choose the easiest option or the harder one?

If I choose A over B, do I reveal something about myself, I rather not?

This is very close to having to ask to be punished ( 😱 )

Oh my.... the more I think about this the more my mind is boggling and I think the easiest thing is to make sure I don't need punishment!

As a child, I was never given the choice. As a sub, that could add a whole new layer of humiliation/ submissiveness. Do you choose the easiest option or the harder one?

If I choose A over B, do I reveal something about myself, I rather not?

This is very close to having to ask to be punished ( 😱 )

Oh my.... the more I think about this the more my mind is boggling and I think the easiest thing is to make sure I don't need punishment!

@Secret_sub Indecision is a punishable offense!! Maybe Mr. Slipper or Mr. Strap can help you be more decisive? 😈😜

As a child, I was never given the choice. As a sub, that could add a whole new layer of humiliation/ submissiveness. Do you choose the easiest option or the harder one?

This is what I am looking for. In the case of a child, a teacher gives the misbehaving student a choice of 3 whacks in the hallway or say 6 after school when nobody was around.

In the case of an adult, the Dominatrix gives the Sub a choice of say 6 with a cane or an undisclosed number with a hairbrush.

England 1970's. I remember at prep school one particular pupil being given the choice of 3 canes .He was the class joker and did Eeeny, meeny, miney, mo... Unbelievable by today's standards on both counts.

Unbelievable by today's standards on both counts.

For those of us that attended school in the '50s. '60s and '70s, a lot of things are unbelievable.

That is a great question / topic. As a child that grew up in the late 60s & 70s (dating myself), I was never given much of a choice. My mom was the soft one and wanted to discipline me but was not very good at it. If the infraction warranted it (and it often did), she would say, "wait until your dad gets home". That always got my attention. Dad would utilize a handful of implements...including his hand, hairbrush and paddle. I would have wished to get a choice of location and implement.....but not often provided. Once he did offer me the option of 15 paddle swats over the underwear or 10 swats of the hairbrush on a bare bottom. I took the paddle.....but it still stung like crazy.

Schools i went to in the mid-west (US) in the 50's and 60's didn't use any corporal punishmen. Just detention halls, calls to parents and suspension if offenses were repetitive or serious. If given a choice aboutg one week of after school detention or a meeting with my parents, I would have chose detention so (hopefully) my parents wouldn't know. Rumors about spankings in the catholic schools proved to be just that, rumors. I don't know of anyone that got spanked at school.

My piano teacher, Sister Mary Edwards (wasn't catholic but early morning piano lessons were available close to home) - used to rap my knuckles with a ruler when I missed notes or screwed up, but it was more of an irritant than painful. She was a nasty person!!

I used to get detention for failing school tests, I had to resit the test during the detention. I had a crafty way of keeping the detention secret from my parents. When I knew I was due a detention I would tell my parents I would be later home than usual because I was going to the shops to buy a record after school. Woolworths was only 5 minutes walk from my old school, so as soon as my detention was over I would go to Woolies, buy a record of my choice then go straight home from there, and when I got home I'd show my parents the record so they knew I really had been to buy it, and they were none the wiser about my detention. Did anyone else here use tricks like that to fox their parents?

When I started my periods 12 or 13, I was given a choice between spanking or grounding. I chose spanking, not only because I enjoyed some of them, but I also hated being under house arrest for weeks at a time! My mother, somewhat surprised with my answer, then told me that it would continue to be on my bare behind. I replied that I understood and I was paddled through college! No regrets here!!!

Oh my.... the more I think about this the more my mind is boggling and I think the easiest thing is to make sure I don't need punishment!

@Secret_sub You are so adorable, thinking that being on your best behavior is going avoid ALL possible punishments. Sometimes, the firm hand knows best.

@Hookajoe don't I know it!!!!!!

You must have been talking to my Dom Because he is on a real mission Lately it seems.

He has the ability to make me feels punished, even without actually doing so.

Every now and then he will use just 1 or maybe 2 words and without actually punishing me, I feel " suitably put In my place"

@Hookajoe don't I know it!!!!!!

You must have been talking to my Do. Because he is on a real mission Lately it seems.

He has the ability to make me feels punished, even without actually doing so.

Every now and then he will use just 1 or maybe 2 words and without actually punishing me, I feel " suitably put In my place"

I think, that is also a good way for a psychological training !!!

I was given a choice between spanking or grounding. I chose spanking,

@gabistillgetsit I had a high school girlfriend, who did as you did. She was raised by a single mother, who was not only from England but educated there. Her mother epitomizes English. When Holly got into trouble she was given the choice of being grounded or a caning. She chose the cane. (Actually, it was a fiberglass rod with a taped handle.) According to her, she had to bend over the back of a couch, bare-bottomed, and take sometimes as many as 12 strokes with a fiberglass rod. I saw marks on her bottom a few times.

@ddell2 That's harsh. But I suppose she preferred something that took a few minutes and left marks for a couple days than a protracted grounding?

@Pecan_nutjob Holly's mother was very English and very stern. She was an attorney representing an English-based energy company or companies.

@ddell2 -- Your friend's mother does sound "very stern." What year would this have been? And, your friend would have been 16/17 at the time?

Thanks, Tom

I was in junior high when she told me (Actually showed me the rod and how she had to bend over.) how her mother punished her so 13 or 14. We completed junior high in 1968. I know she got a couple during our first and second years of high school but I don't know anything after our second you so she would have been 15 or 16 then.

@ddell2 -- Thanks for the time frame. In '68, is my math right, if she was 17, she'd have been born around 1941/42. That puts her mom out of England to America pre-war and I imagine she'd very much have been of the generation where bending for six of the best wasn't unusual from what I've read.

Interesting that her mother, bringing caning to US soil for her daughter was likely keeping a caning tradition going here which was dying out in England, the UK. Again, from what I've read. That said, while the cane may not be used in schools there it must still be used in a number of homes going by the English based sites selling punishment canes --- much like sites here that sell paddles.

Thanks for posting about your friend choosing the cane over being grounded. Have you any idea if she chose the cane every time, or if there were times she took a grounding instead?

Thanks, Tom

@Thomas893 Didn't "public schools" use caning well into the 1960s?

@Thomas893 I said she was 13 or 14 in 1968 (depend on the time of the school year) so that's makes born as I was in 1954.

While caning was, I think, uncommon in France, one must point out that in my generation (born early 1970s) it was not rare to use the "martinet", a leather flogger. My cousin got it on the bare buttocks.

@Pecan_nutjob --- You know, I think you're right. The English 'public' school being what we call a 'private' school --- one of those times I think the Mother Tongue has got it wrong. (No thoughts on tyre Vs tire, but given its location on a car I give them two thumbs up on boot Vs trunk.)

But, back to pretty bottoms seared by a cane in the Old Country. I wonder if the cane in 'public' schools survived longer in girls schools, likely those with boarding, than in boys schools.

I know, but haven't seen for several years a lady, Judy, who attended a girls boarding school in England and was no stranger to both the strap, mostly on her hands, and the cane, mostly bare bottom when at school. Her parents, English, were in India for a number of years and she was sent each fall to England to school. She last had her bottom caned just before the end of her senior year. Must have been around 17. I've always had the impression of the English being quiet, private, reserved, but not Judy. She has an ever present smile and laugh and is 'terribly' (as the Brits might say) open about being caned both at school and at home.

Turning back to the theme of the thread she has mentioned the headmistress would sometimes give students a choice of bare, fewer whacks, or underpants, a few more whacks. Generally though it was decided by the headmistress, or the teacher, or the lady in charge of the residence, or one of her staff, and bare was traditional.

I have edited the thread title to reflect the request made in the opening post.

It would have happened sooner had moderators been contacted and asked to change it.

I don't think there should be a choice about any aspect of punishment. The person will always take the lesser of the punishments from their point of view. A person may take the least painful or the quickest to get it over with as soon as possible, or a delayed punishment in hopes that it will be forgotten about.

I believe that for a punishment, the punisher must be in control. The punisher would know what was an adequate punishment for the person bc they have had experience punishing that person. If the punisher had never punished the punishee then they must go with what they can see during the progression of the punishment.

IMO

I don't think there should be a choice about any aspect of punishment. The person will always take the lesser of the punishments from their point of view. A person may take the least painful or the quickest to get it over with as soon as possible, or a delayed punishment in hopes that it will be forgotten about.

I believe that for a punishment, the punisher must be in control. The punisher would know what was an adequate punishment for the person bc they have had experience punishing that person. If the punisher had never punished the punishee then they must go with what they can see during the progression of the punishment.

IMO

Yes, absolutely right !!! - no more words needed !!! - punishment must be punishment !!!