Looking back what, spankingwise, would have been better for you

I got spanked from when I was really young through my tween years as my main punishment, but around 12-13 and again at 15-16ish mom tried switching to grounding, no friends, no games etc since I was supposed to be more mature.

But both times I wasn’t ready for the more mature punishments, they weren’t effective and I got really bratty and spanking came back.

In retrospect it would have been better for my development if I was just spanked the whole time without those trials

On a similar note, I do think like OP that about 20% more spanking would have been good for me to keep me consistently in touch with the rules. Honestly my best behavior and growth happened times when I was getting spanked A LOT, even for little stuff like not doing the trash quickly etc.

In my opinion, it was definitely spankings that were the most effective form of punishment when I/we were growing up! They may not have completely deterred me/us from misbehaving; but, speaking for myself anyway, I would have been a lot less better behaved without them! I am not putting forward a pro or anti spanking stance and argument here; simply just stating how spanking affected my behavior and attitude when growing up! Sure it was not, for me at least, a complete panacea to guarantee perfect behavior and conduct in my youth; but it did ensure I did not misbehave as much as I would have done without it! And although I cannot speak for others; I strongly suspect that many of my generation would concur with my conclusions! Though I fully respect the viewpoints of those that don't, of course!

My father spanked my brother and I a lot when we were growing up. The routine was the same from when we were young children through when we were teenagers. Pants down, bent over the bed and butt whipped with a folded over heavy leather belt. I was spanked like that about once every other week from when I was 9 to when I was 14. My brother was spanked more often, sometimes once or twice a week. Last spanking from him was in high school, when I was 17. What would have been better is if he controlled his temper better. I'm not saying I was perfect. But I only deserved about one out of every ten spankings I got.

@creator58

In my opinion, it was definitely spankings that were the most effective form of punishment when I/we were growing up! They may not have completely deterred me/us from misbehaving; but, speaking for myself anyway, I would have been a lot less better behaved without them! I am not putting forward a pro or anti spanking stance and argument here; simply just stating how spanking affected my behavior and attitude when growing up! Sure it was not, for me at least, a complete panacea to guarantee perfect behavior and conduct in my youth; but it did ensure I did not misbehave as much as I would have done without it! And although I cannot speak for others; I strongly suspect that many of my generation would concur with my conclusions! Though I fully respect the viewpoints of those that don't, of course!

An interesting thread and I concur with what creator58 has said. Several times I told my mother thanks for the memories --- the memorable spankings --- and she said she knew looking back I thought them a good thing as I'd spanked in my family as she'd spanked in hers. Something about the best compliment to her apple pie making was when I wanted HER recipe to make an apple pie.

I wouldn't change a thing about the way I was punished as a boy. I thought my dad had exactly the right attitude about punishment even though I would not have admitted it at the time, especially when I was upended and bare bottomed over his lap being soundly spanked.

Dad viewed spanking not so much as a correction for misbehavior but rather a consequence of misbehavior. He seemed to have no expectations that being spanked would make me a better behaved boy but rather a very sore bottom would be unpleasant and a reasonable consequence as a penalty for the misbehavior.

When I misbehaved, I got a spanking. The severity of the spanking depended on the misbehavior and my own recidivism for that misbehavior. It would be quite rare for me to be deprived of toys or activities or friends as a punishment. It was most common that I would be spanked.

Certain things were absolutes for spanking from my Dad. He alway put the child over his knee regardless of age. He always spanked the child's bare bottom. He always spanked with either his hand or with a wood brush. He seemed to like the routine of it all and how giving a spanking affected only the child and the parent giving the spanking. And when it was over and you'd paid the price, everyone just moved on and got on with life.

Dad spanked so that he made sure it truly was a very unpleasant experience. His spanking definitely hurt. At their worst when they were happening you didn't think you were going to survive except that you knew that dad loved you and as bad as it felt it wasn't going to kill you. That damn brush when he used it could certainly make a boy howl and have a "Come to Jesus moment." Your bum was on fire when dad finished and it was impossible to be stoic and avoid copious tears. But when it was over, all was forgiven and it was done. Dad's method of teaching better choices was never hooked up with his punishment routine.

My dad was the best. He was my hero. And man did he know how to properly spank an unruly boy.

As a child, I hated spankings of any kind and wet my pants just about every time. Do I think they were necessary? Maybe. However now I enjoy them. Go figure.

I was never spanked growing up but I wish I had been. My grades and attention in school probably would have been better if poor performance was punished.

"My dad was the best. He was my hero. And man did he know how to properly spank an unruly boy"

He sounds a lot like my dad.

I was never spanked growing up but I wish I had been. My grades and attention in school probably would have been better if poor performance was punished.

Mmmmm ... or maybe just some understanding as to why you weren't paying more attention and doing the work, and some thought put into what would constructively help make it more engaging to you? Just a thought ... 😉

@drooaygah lack of incentive/motivation. Positive incentives have no value to me, at least not enough to get me out of bed in the morning or make me perform to expectations. I don't get up and go to work because I like money or because I find value in my career; I do it because if I don't I'll be fired, evicted, destitute, and hungry on the streets.

As far as school went for me, I got As and Bs in subjects that came naturally to me. The ones that required effort got the bare minimum to pass and not get held back a year. When the only incentive to perform requires only the bare minimum of work, the bare minimum is all that will be given.

Some people are sufficiently enticed by a carrot to do what's expected of them; others only respond to the stick.

My grades and attention in school probably would have been better if poor performance was punished.

I don't recommend it. I got the belt if I brought home anything less than an A.

I was pretty defiant. If I got punished - only once I remember by spanking but otherwise - I looked for payback. Getting in more trouble at school, purposely flunking a test, whatever I could do to piss off my parents. If they would have spanked or otherwise physically abused or tried to degrade, humiliate or intimate me, I would dig deeper. Same with my teachers, once I lost respect for them - or anyone, even today - it’s over with @Rigel

I once called my HS German teacher who was a real joke "Fat Frau Shcultz" and got kicked out of class. The principal demanded I apologize to her and I refused. She flunked me - really pissed my parents off. In college I took three semesters of German and got all A's, even though Fat Frau Schultz never knew. That was motivation!

I don't think I deserved all of the spankings I received growing up but the vast majority were probably justified. Looking back it's clear I could be a very naughty boy and just telling me not to do something, like so many of today's kids are told would not have had any meaningful effect on my behaviour. I needed that direct line from my sore bottom to my brain to engage to make me be good. The difference between me and my dad is that if I ever need to spank it is never out of anger and always with restraint. I'll explain why it's necessary, he just ripped my backside to bits. I will say though that he never held a grudge and once my good hiding had been administered and I'd cried my tears and then said sorry (even if I didn't always know what I was saying sorry for!) normal business would resume and dad would go back to being fun and playful and kind. I respect the fact that he and indeed my mum and everyone that spanked me cared enough to do so to keep me on the straight and narrow!

I think we need to see spanking through the prism of time. Attitudes of society changes over time. Of course there is no place for spanking nowadays. While 40+ years back it was completely normal.

Looking back, the spankings I received from my mother were generally deserved, whether or not I thought so at the time. She explained why I was being spanked, and did not spank in anger. The ones at school were often less deserved, and sometimes felt they were given “because you were there.” I avoided being caned more than I could have been, which is a good thing.

I was reading a post in the spanking section and started to wonder if I could live my life over, and if I could decide what would be best for me when it came to being spanked what would that be? The same as it was? Or would I opt for something different?

With age and experience looking back, I might avoid a few spankings - don't hit my sister in the face is one memorable one.

But really, most spankings I got taught me to not do whatever was the cause for the spanking. Or to become a better liar to not get caught. It was a lesson along with many others, that didn't involve a spanking, that I learned from. Made me who I am today.

To change any of those lessons would change who I am today. Most of who I am is not something I want to change. I have faults, but I like who I am.

Lukkas wrote: "I needed that direct line from my sore bottom to my brain to engage to make me be good. The difference between me and my dad is that if I ever need to spank it is never out of anger and always with restraint. "

I'm with you. I also needed that direct line from my sore bottom to my brain to even make me think twice before repeating the same stupid misbehavior a few days or weeks down the road. Sometimes the rewards of particular misbehaviors would be greater than the warnings of a memory of previous spankings and this boy would be up to his old tricks again. I really wasn't a bad boy but I was quite mischievous. I think my dad sometimes understood that I would be up to certain mischief and that even a good spanking wasn't much of a deterrent. Nonetheless, that mischief got me a trip over his lap to have my bare butt heated, often with his brush, if only as a penalty for the mischief. It was cause and effect and I was well aware of what the consequences might be and still...

I think one of the reasons that I got most of my spankings at bedtime, aside from the added punishment of worrying about what was to come, was that dad wanted to make sure that he was calm before he put me over his lap. And he was always calm and purposeful, cautious and caring, even as he guaranteed that the sting would be awful and my reaction genuine and considerable. He was not moved by tears nor entreaties for the event to end. He spanked until he felt there was proper repentance, if not for my misbehavior then at least for the predicament I was experiencing. His spanking felt like they lasted forever but certainly were not more than a few minutes. Believe me, those few minutes counted.

I really think my dad could have given a master class in how to spank a naughty boy. I think that class might have been only one part of a larger master course of being a great dad. I think of him every day and his spankings are as important memories to me as all the other many more enjoyable interactions that we shared. I tried as a dad myself to emulate all that my own dad had taught me.

For as long as I can remember, I have been craved a good spanking. Coming from a traditional Southern family, all five of us, 3 girls and 2 boys, got spanked. I know that my siblings dreaded the oversized ping pong paddle across their bare bottoms, but not me. For some reason, I always wanted more.

Luckily, I have friends, family, and a husband who understand my needs.

I never got anything I didn’t deserve but I think sometimes I got more than I needed. But being an only child I don’t have a lot to compare it with except my few friends that knew about it and I knew about theirs. Sharing our experiences with each other actually helped me realize that I wasn’t the only girl getting spanked. Even got a spanking from a friends dad a couple of times at a sleepover.

It didn't last long with my mom spanking my bottom with the belt. She eventually moved on to simply grounding me and, even at one point, putting soap in my mouth. I had quite a smart mouth, and wasn't afraid to voice my displeasure. I think she stopped spanking my brothers and I overall due to her own upbringing. I remember her relaying stories of my grandfather as this disciplinarian figure that resorted to utilizing the belt on them for 'bad behavior.'

I tend to believe that I now enjoy spankings as a direct result of this deep, ingrained belief that I need a good spanking to put me in place. I do have quite the smart mouth, and I can be very naughty. Had I grown up with more spankings, would I still think this way? Hard to say. I just know I love a good spanking sesh....they tend to put things in perspective 😉 😈

I think that what would have been better for me would be to have had parents who would have, at least sometimes, taken me over their knee and given me a good sound spanking. I know this would have done me some good, even into my early teen years, and I can think of several occasions where a spanking should have been given. I am not talking about beatings with belts, heavy or damaging implements, even paddles - I don't believe in beating a child. I am talking about a few minutes over a loving parent's knee, my bottom turned up, and being given a stinging reminder of who is in charge in a parent/child relationship, and that there are always consequences to every action.

To this day I picture myself being pulled toward mom, and her lowering my pants, then being taken over mom's knee, knowing what was about to happen. I can imagine the wait for the first spank, a bit of scolding raising the tension, and then, the spanking itself. The sound, the feeling of each smack across my very vulnerable bottom, me struggling and probably crying, and then the finish with a couple of final hard spanks. Corner time, and then a hug, and a lesson learned.

I think this all would have been good for me.

By the time I was 7 or 8 years old, I learned how to inflict more pain on my parents than getting spanked ever inflicted on me. After being spanked, I would sulk and refuse to eat anything for a couple of days. That stunt made them frantic. As a result, I wasn't spanked very often!

I definetly benefitted from the spankings my father gave me well into my teens. Over his knee bare bum with his hand. My wife was my gf in High School and was also spanked the same way - grew up in the spanking era!

I was never given choice mum spanked with old wooden kitchen spoon boy it stung turned my arse bright red she inser finger soap up my bum first be left ip my bum through dpanking then had hold it until mother hot enema ready

I was never spanked with a wooden spoon. My mum had one in the kitchen but it was a cooking utensil only, she never used it for spanking. When I misbehaved in the kitchen my mum spanked my bare bottom with a slipper, or a flat leather sandal if she happened to be wearing those at the time - the soles of both her slippers and sandals were serious ass-burners.