What starts a fetish?

I'm pretty sure my rectal temperature/thermometer fetish started when I was a kid. My mom, as well as the pediatrician, took our temperatures at the drop of a hat. One cough or sneeze, and we knew the thermometer was about to find it's way into our bottoms. The visual of seeing the thermometer poking out from our butts led us to playing Doctor with eachother and then some of our friends. It was all innocent fun and games until the hormones kicked in.

Hospital trip to ER when I was 4. Definitely didn’t like nurses or doctors when I was younger. Having to submit to the nurse holding my legs up in diaper position sticking a thermometer up my butt. Not my best moment but it's what started my fetish. 🍑🌡️

I think I've posted this at another discussion, my 1st fetish are boots......and I remember family and family friends wearing some pretty heeled boots.....and that toc toc toc when they walk.....

and the latex fetish was triggered by Michelle Pfeiffer at Batman Returns ..... meow

Be safe

Za

Not being a supporter of psychoanalyzing and putting a label on every little thing in life, I tend to think my "fetishes" come from my successful exploration of things that are fun, interesting or generate pleasure. Sensation is a key factor for me as well.

Anal came from an exploration in the shower with my fingers when I was 9 or 10. The bondage/sensation stuff followed shortly thereafter. Everything I'm into now progressed naturally through healthy, personal exploration. There was no "defining moment" - no trauma, no episode with an evil aunt/mother/teacher/etc, no spanking by a school nurse in a white uniform - thank you very much Dr. Freud.

Generally speaking, I tend to define my own moral code and values without comparing my choices to the "social norms" as dictated by popular culture, media, popular propaganda, religion or government. To me, it's just obvious: Love others, accept others, don't judge (this is a HARD one) be a caring person, consider others, do no harm, keep an open mind, etc. - all are the driving forces. Living this way it's easy to form one's own thoughts around sexuality and things that are commonly defined as "fetish" by mainstream society. I call this individualism.

I consider many things "perfectly OK" that are commonly defined as "fetish" by others. Wearing rubber/chainmail/fur/sequins is a personal choice, style if you will. Tats and piercings are an expression of individuality - when not symbolic of acknowledged hate groups, etc. Wearing nothing is the same, yeah it shocks people but that is their issue, not the naked person's. Multi-partner sexual relationships and hybrid living situations are fine by me as long as all the humans involved are involved willingly and consensually. Don't even get me started on gender judgement!

I like the sensation of a painful enema - this isn't a fetish in my book - it's just pleasure. I do not like blood play so I don't. I am not into diapers. I like tight/restrictive clothing and some bondage. I like cock and pussy pumping. Etc, etc, etc. EVERY PERSON IS DIFFERENT and each has the right to determine for themselves what is OK for them as long as there is no harm to others. The definition of "harm" becomes a challenge here though... Am I being harmed by seeing your naked tits? Uh, no. Get over your puritanical bullshit.

Some may call these things "fetish" but I tend to think that is just another term some use to judge and label others - to "define them" and put them in a social category. By categorizing things and defining "normal" it helps societies behave and stay calm. Psychologists do it. Religion does it. Snoopy neighbors do it. It's all just government.

I think people come up with childhood links to justify their preferences.

Despite that many kinky activities are getting increasingly wider acceptance, simple fact that one seem something as kinky, means it is deep in their mind perverse, not normal and so on. Hence need to explain such thing to oneself. Blaming on childhood is very handy, especially that support for that can be found in some psychological theories.

As a child I have never been spanked, never had enema, no ER or hospital visits.

I got into BDSM at the age of 25 by a chance and really loved it. What really thrills me is the 'perversion' of kinky acts and how that makes me feel.

Some may call these things "fetish" but I tend to think that is just another term some use to judge and label others - to "define them" and put them in a social category. By categorizing things and defining "normal" it helps societies behave and stay calm. Psychologists do it. Religion does it. Snoopy neighbors do it. It's all just government.

Very well written post.

The sad thing is that judging and labeling the things people like to do sexually, is really coming back into fashion big time nowadays. So many people/groups just love to show and preferably enact into actual legislation, the things they do not approve of.

And it is getting worse by the year.

I have two, enemas and shots in the butt. The shots in the butt is a result of me getting many penicillin shots in the butt as a child. I would get ear or throat infections two or three times every winter and every time I would get one or two penicillin shots in the butt. Many times the doctor would give me one on the first visit and tell my mother to bring me back in three days and then I would get a second shot in the butt. I hated those shots. They hurt and I was shy and didn't like bearing my butt for the doctor and his nurse to see. I didn't like them seeing me in my underwear but bearing my butt was even worse.

Many hears later I started enjoying shots in the butt to the point that I have had visits with enemas nurses who would give me two shots in the butt of sterile water after the enemas. The sterile water stings and I like that. I also like being nude with a lovely lady who is giving me enemas, shots, and a happy ending. I enjoy getting shots in the butt at my doctor's office but those don't hurt. I like the painful ones.

The enema fetish did not come from childhood because I don't remember ever getting an enema as a child. I started enemas about age 50 after getting a series of colonics. The therapist suggested I do enemas and I liked them from the very first one.

Overload of emotions maybe. In my cases it also started in early years.. from just being exposed to weird thing and some fears but in the end I think I created my own. I think my fetish is more like a concept instead of a real thing.. a mix of willingly accepting something with some sexuality sprinkled in the mix.

It causes so much confusion in the teens and even in my 20s but in the end it's sort of like Sexually charged situation -> presented with a taboo option -> agreeing to it -> what follows.

I still don't fully get it. Some things just click and are a massive turn on and some don't do anything, despite falling under the general umbrella of commonly accepted fetish.

For example spanking is a pretty common fetish I think. For me, it doesn't do anything. I even strongly dislike it if it has anything to do with being forced or as punishment but if it follows this pattern, it can can be incredibly arousing. Like it has to have those 2 steps of being optional and me (or in some cases other people) willingly accepting or enjoying it.

Overload of emotions maybe.

Interesting observation.

I've noticed since getting along in years, that I get a sudden uptake in horniness following instances of situations in which I am upset, mad, scared of consequences or other upsets in life. Stress and then its removal works well like that for me. I can have one of those days where I am seething mad at situations I can do nothing much about and then with a resolution of sorts or enough passage of time, the day might end with a sudden onset of sexual arousal, seemingly out of the blue.

Perhaps that is why for some people, sex after having a marital spat or lover's quarrel, can be intense. Or why after attending a funeral people have sex. They do so because it is supposedly life-affirming, but maybe it can indeed be caused by an overload of emotions that then gives way to sexual emotion, to balance things out?

For me it was a medical appointment in later life that provided the trigger.

For me its things that happend in the past. Who you where not happy about or impressed of at the time.

You want to relive those because you can't go back in time

But what started what happened in the past ?.

I wonder where desires c

I think the circumstances that aid in fetish formation are achieving sexual stimulation and or satisfaction with an object or circumstances not normally associated with sexuality.

Wow, that is something I try to figure out almost every day!

Mostly childhood experiences

As a young lad playing with older kids, I witnessed a girl about 1 or 2 years older wet her pants during a game. Something fell on her shoulders and almost knocked her down, startling, perhaps scaring her. Her stream seemed to come from her bottom and made a very forceful arc. I had never seen this happen. The rest of the kids ran away and she ran home still peeing. After some minutes I went to her house to ask if she was alright. She was fine and actually enjoyed it (I had no idea), and let me touch her where she was wet. This one incident started my kink for wetting underwear, mine and hers. At first for long time with her, and later with two aunts and two female cousins. I never had an interest in guys.

It developed into a life-long fetish, the *doorway* to this secretive and shame-filled world was my interest in feet of any shape or size, a non-intrusive intimacy that led to gals admitting to behaviors that would have never come up in *normal* conversations. So, while genetic predisposition may ignite the flame, a real-life positive experience forges the metal.

As Anne said, "we're human."

This is an often discussed question around here, and I don't know if there is any one answer. Diapers: we all wore them; those of us old enough were put in cloth diapers with plastic pants, the younger ones were in disposables. Yet in spite of the fact that EVERYONE here wore diapers for the first few years of their lives, and some maybe longer, not everyone is interested in them, let alone fixated on them. Many people are even repulsed by the idea of toddling around in a wet, dirty or even just a clean diaper. The same goes for many other seemingly common kinks. So where do the needs to wear a diaper, or be given a spanking, or an enema, or like feet come from? Not sure that we will ever know all of the causes.

My advice is to think about your own case (everyone should try to know themselves) and then just try and enjoy.

I was reading on this subject recently. The current thought is fetishes develop early in our lives. Traumatic experiences trigger them. Trauma is a relative thing and doesn't necessarily mean life threatening events although they can be. Something as simple as a new sibling and a mothers shifting her devotion to the new baby can trigger a sense of emotional distress and fear of abandonment in a child. During these times a young child reaches out for something that they can replace the loss with. Like mommies' shoes or the child's diapers. This all subsides around five years of age only to resurface sexually at puberty.

It's pretty well established that even babies have sexual tendencies. So there's this mixed-up mess that a young child tries to resolve the best they can, ending in a non standard form of early sexuality. The emotional attachment to their fetish object gets cross wired into the sexual desires and then, at sexual maturity Presto! you got a fetish!

I've spend most of my life wondering how I became an AD/DL. Now thinking back this explanation at least in my case rings frighteningly correct.