Very tough subject. Know exactly what you mean. In a way, you are not at all attracted to men, but, would like to have a man take you in the bottom. Technically, not only does it make sense, it, actually, makes a lot of sense. When there is a penis sliding into your bottom, it has really, absolutely, nothing to, necessarily, do with a relationship. It has nothing to do with kissing, nothing to do with cuddling, nothing to do with really anything other than what you would get from it, the sensation of a mans penis in you. Nothing wrong with that.
Yes, dildo or strap on works too, but, if you are going to experience this, might as well be real, and I would imagine a real mans penis would be way better than a fake one. Has to be. Sounds like it’s all about the sensation, the feeling of the experience and nothing more.
If you do decide to go through with it, make, absolutely, sure, you will, definitely, be 100% OK with it AFTERWARDS. If you are going to feel gay or bi about it when you are not gay or bi, could, potentially, be an issue. In other words, once you’ve done this, it’s done. You go from someone who has never experienced a man on man act, to someone who now has. Not easy for everyone, no big deal for some.