Discussion with parents

For those of you who were circumcised as babies, in childhood or teen age: did you ever discuss your surgery with your parents afterwards? How was it explained?

Although I’m not circumcise but two of my cousins are …. What I came to know was, one of them got his foreskin stuck in the pants zipper when he was a toddler and another one had phimosis ( he was operated around 4 or 5 years ), so both had to be circumcised.

Another cousin of mine got partially circumcised as the frenulum is thinned frw days after birth as his mother wanted it that way to clean the little willy.

I was circumcised when I was a baby. My mother explained the operation to me, talked about the doctor who had done it. She could not do otherwise since I bathed with my brother who was not circumcised and who had to retract his foreskin each time. I can't remember the exact words, I think it was that the skin had been cut.

I don't know the exact causes for this circumcision, only phimosis or maybe infections. I also don't know if my mother was influenced by the doctor or if she talked about it with her sister-in-law because I believe that my older cousin is also circumcised. It was not usual in Europe, but the doctors checked very early that the foreskin could be retracted.

My mom didn't care about my penis after my puberty for 40 years. When she was over 80, she wondered if she had made the right decision in having me circumcised. Perhaps she had always had doubts without ever daring to talk to me about it.

For me there was no explanation of what was about to happen , Just “you are going to have an operation” , I think I was 4 or 5 . At bath time the day before, I was shown my brother's circumcised penis but I honestly did not take in or appreciate the difference. Some years later , I was 17, my mother asked if I remember “my stay in hospital” , to which I answered no. This was of course a white lie as I just didn't want to have an embarrassing conversation or admit that I had remembered everything before, during and after .

@UK_Patient Do you know why both your brother and you were circumcised?

It was in my 15th and there was no explanation. Just few words thet my foreskin is to short and not neither doctor can skin it over my glans so there is no other option.

I was born in the US in 1959. Although my father is uncut, I was circumcised. My mom was a nurse and I think it was just the time and the place. I also think my parents were influenced by the norm and the doctor at the time.

My parents split and from the 5th grade on I lived with my father. At the time we only had one bathroom which he and I shared. I entered puberty rather early and nudity between the two of us was very common. I always admired my father's uncut penis. As I matured and educated myself, I began to wish that I had been left uncircumcised.

I was circumcised soon after I was born and I've never discussed it with either of my parents. I'm sure my parents decided that in order to be the same as my dad and it's the “norm” where I was born. I've just never really thought to ask my parents about it or why they made that decision.

I had always noticed that my brother had skin covering the head of his penis and I didn't. At first, I thought it was because he was older and I would eventually grow skin, but when it didn't happen, I asked my dad about it. He explained that we were both born at home, but with my older brother, the doctor kept coming to our house to check on him and when I was born four years later, the doctor was stopping home visits and requested that they take me to the clinic for my check-up. It was part of the first check-up to circumcise all boy babies. Dad didn't know they were going to do it. I guess back in the thirties when I was born, they thought it was best. Sigh.

@erwin Very interesting, including about lack of parental consent.

Very interesting, including about lack of parental consent.

Circumcision is mainly a social/cultural issue, not a truly medical one. And as such, cultural issues generate far more emotional and passionate responses when a specific cultural practice is brought into question, queried or changed. People feel strongly about other people who do not follow the same social mores and norms.

Religion is an obvious example of a cultural issue that generates far too much animosity and polemics. People will and in the past have literally killed, pillaged and tortured others over religious matters. Circumcision, being closely linked to certain religions by doctrine, also falls within the category of a practice that evokes strong, but often irrational feelings. This, because circumcision does not (or very seldom) serve any medical purpose. It is a practice that is often followed out of tradition.

And judging from the many accounts posted here, medical doctors too often have strong feelings on the matter and will find ways to influence or work around parental wishes. This probably happens less so now than in the past, in the years immediately after WWII in the US.

@agracier Some physicians here have doubted testimonies of circumcision without parental consent, but I think it's imprudent to claim that rules about consent that applied in the 1990s, 2000s, etc. applied in the 1950s. The doctors knew best and people were unlikely to sue.

I also read about some native American kids being taken away from parents (for health checks or something longer) then given back without foreskin, to the parents' surprise; presumably these people were considered inferior and unfit for dealing with their own children. Again, nobody cared about their opinion.

@agracier Some physicians here have doubted testimonies of circumcision without parental consent, but I think it's imprudent to claim that rules about consent that applied in the 1990s, 2000s, etc. applied in the 1950s. The doctors knew best and people were unlikely to sue.

I know that my brother was circumcised in the US in the 1950s and that my mother, when in her 80s, was still fulminating about it being done despite her express wishes. She never forgot that happening and said it was typical how US doctors treated her as a foreigner and female to boot. Doctors always knew best.

That is why she took pains to find (recently) emigrated European doctors who more or less followed customs she was used to. Living nearby New York City, this wasn't that difficult to do apparently.

Circumcision is mainly a social/cultural issue, not a truly medical one.

I completely agree. I just prefer the look of a circumcised penis.

My impression is that many circumcised American males did not know something had been done to their penis until quite old (and it may be possible many believe this is the natural state of the penis).

My mother just said NO so I'm not. I expected my sons would not be but I wasn't allowed to participate in their birth and they are, I asked my wife why and in her typical way of dealing with anything we disagree about she refuses to talk to me about it.

I never had a discussion with my parents about being circumcised, in my childhood discussions with elders just wasn't an occurance, boys did as we were told, the doctor told me “you're going to have your willy altered to be like the older boys at school” and that was that,

it was the beginings of my medical fetish, and why i'm here on this board.

@roscoe So she decided all by herself and then refused any discussion?

Never did. I am glad though I am circumcised.I can imagine it would get annoying or irritating always having skin to pull back.

@roscoe So she decided all by herself and then refused any discussion?

Yup!

Not cut due to being a rather premature birth. But my mother told me more than a few times as I was growing up that my foreskin was abnormally long, and that if I wanted to be circumcised to fit in with my peers, she'd happily take me in to get it done. My dad said it would remain my choice.

But my mother told me more than a few times as I was growing up that my foreskin was abnormally long,

@Feesii This is a factual remark that only describes the length of the foreskin, but I think it could have been interpreted as a reproach by a child. I always felt like it was my fault when I had health issues and needed to see a doctor.

Did this remark bother you or not?

It made me self conscious, that's for sure. I've learned to live with what I've got.

@Feesi You think your mother would have it done if you were not premature, and she preferred cut? how was your father?

Based on where I was born, and the prevalent medical advice at the time, I probably would have been cut. My mom's a neat freak and constantly stressed good bodily hygiene, so she no doubt found the “it's cleaner!” argument convincing.

My mother was insistent on me being left intact like my father. She told me once that I was going to be happy I had a prepuce because the head of my penis is it's most sensitive part. She went on to explain how that will influence me when I become sexually active. During my formative years, she spent much time examining my penis for cleanliness and helping me understand sexual basics as it pertains to my anatomy.

My family was very private, and never had discussions about sexual topics, so, the topic of circumcision was never mentioned. I also think that circumcision was so ubiquitous in the 1970s in the U.S.A. that it just never came up in any social conversation.

By age 9 I had seen enough other naked boys to convince myself that I was, you know, normal. So when I saw an uncircumcised boy (and his brother) I thought it was they that had the birth defect. It was my mom who filled me in on the topic and I was shocked that I had a part missing and my parents knew about it and approved it. I wanted it back but alas it was too late.

All the boys in my family were circumcised at birth and it was never discussed. I didn't even realize anyone was different until I was in Grade 8 in Junior High and saw 2 boys in my gym class who weren't circumcised and learned about it in Health Class.

A couple of days after I had a circumcision, my parents decided to explain to me why the operation was necessary. They told me that the main reason for agreeing to circumcise me was to improve the hygiene. They explained that it was often difficult for an uncircumcised male to cleanse the glans because it was covered with a foreskin, and its retraction was often uncomfortable and even painful. For these reasons, they claimed that it was necessary for me to have a circumcision.

My stepdad brought another reason for having the operation. He said that the moist environment around in the glans in uncircumcised males facilitated bacterial growth and resulted in frequent infections. In his mind, circumcision was necessary to allow the exposed glans to become dry and therefore free from bacterial infections.