Last week I had to undergo another intimate examination and thought I would describe what happened. I’ve still had pain in my right side for two years now and despite collapsing in agony at work with a suspected UTI. Which happened shortly after a urologist had refered me straight back to my GP after saying my CT scan was fine. I keep getting blood tests which my GP can’t find anything wrong with and I am still waiting to see a urologist after a year after being referred a second time.
However the last time I spoke to my Dr he strongly advised me to go to the local GUM clinic to be tested for STI’s, which is something the urologist had told me to do over a year ago on my first referral. I have never planned to ever go to the sexual health clinic as I have always been a very private person and having to go there was one of my worse nightmares and the urologists had actually put me off going even more by saying “it will just be a couple of swabs”. Anyway I had reached a point now where I would just do almost anything to try to stop the daily pain and I had become quite detached from everything so decided to make an appointment as if it was an STI at least they would treat it.
I filled in an online booking form which I was relieved at doing as it meant I would have to talk to anyone about my symptoms over the phone and I was sent a text confirming the appointment and telling me to arrive 10 minutes early and to wear a face mask. I turned up at the clinic at correct time and had to ring a bell to be let in where I was asked if had booked an appointment before being let through. I then went to the reception desk where there were around 5 women at desks on the phone and one came up to me and asked me for my name and then handed me a clipboard and said I need to fill in this paper form as the online registration doesn’t take all the infomation needed.
I went a sat in the waiting area that had six chairs spaces to fill in the form. So now I was a bit annoyed as I would have to write out all of my personal details and circle my symptoms to hand back to this older lady to see. As I filled it out I noticed a man and a woman couple in from of me as they had moved two chairs together and were being very close. And there was a young woman sitting beside me. I filled in the paperwork and handed it back and she the checked it as I was standing there and said I had missed the box about my GP details so I quickly filled that in and sat back down.
I was waiting to be seen for nearly 50 minutes and I started feeling like I was in a youth club as more people came and went they were all young women who looked like they had just finished high school or twenty something men who still looked and dressed like teenagers. I also noticed the different medical staff coming out and calling people to be seen and they were all older women and every time one appeared I said to myself I hope that’s not for me.
Finally a very young looking woman appeared and called me and I followed her into a room. I was amazed as she was just my type, the right height, right hair colour, she looked gorgeous even wearing a mask and had a lovely voice and was very kind and caring as she spoke and after I left I was thinking I’d just met my perfect woman and I think she was a brand new Dr/Nurse.
Anyway she told me to sit down and said “What can I do for you today”. I explained everything that had been going on for the last two years, where I had been getting pain and the scans I had done. I also told her that she was the first person in two years that I have been able to speak to face to face about this as everything else had been done over the phone. She then tried to see if she could find my CT scan and couldn’t locate it and said I need to get my GP to chase my urology referral.
She then said “ok well what we will do is do a full sti screening with urine and blood tests and if you don’t mind I’d like to take a look at you and also I’d like my consultant to take a look at you too”. I said to her well from my point of view the less people who see me the better, but she said “she is very good and has far more experience than me” so I said ok.
She pulled a curtain across that just covered the end of the examination bed, so it was sort of half way across the room then tore a large piece of the paper sheet covering the bed and left it by the head of the bed and told me to get myself ready. I walked over to the bed and just before I was about to undo my belt she said “hold on I will just go and see if she is ready now then we can both examine you at the same time”. So I came back around and sat back down as she left the room. Then I started to get nervous as I had no idea who this other woman would be. Then my perfect woman came back in on her own and said something like she isn’t ready just now so what we will do is I will take a look at you now then she will after I’m done.
So I went back behind the curtain next to the bed and this time I noticed on the table opposite a transparent plastic speculum in a sealed plastic bag. I then realised she never told me what to do like my GP had done, just get yourself ready? So I did what he had said which was lower my jeans and boxers to my knees lay flat on the bed and covered myself up with the paper. I looked up and noticed a large magnifier and light on an arm over the bed that was switched off. I said ok and she came over to me and asked me to show her where I had been having the pain. So I moved the paper to the side revealing my right testicle and I used my fingers to point to where it had been hurting as she looked on. She the said I’m just going to check your other side first and reached down under the paper, so I just moved the whole of the paper out of the way revealing the whole of my genitals.
There was no sudden numbness or deep feeling of uncomfortableness like when my GP had had to examine me. I was so comfortable in front of her and my penis didn’t shrink away either. I didn‘t really feel much as she felt me checking my testicles and then pressing on my groin either side of my penis. It was a strange sensation as it seemed like I was there with my pants down for a long time but she wasn’t actually touching me for a long time as there was a lot of talking. She then told me to cough and felt a bit more. Then she said ”now I would like to see you standing up so if you could just swing around off the bed”.
I moved my legs around over the side of the bed as she was watching me and stood up but I kept hold of my jeans and boxers so they didn’t fall down to my ankles which meant I was sort of standing stooping slightly with my tackle hanging out and it felt very submissive as I couldn’t move my hands and she could see exacly how I hang.
She felt me again and I sort of automatically looked straight ahead as somehow it was almost as if what we were doing was wrong and in that moment I pretended not to notice what was happening in order not to get into trouble. I did start to feel a bit shy and then I got a very nice sensation as her fingers briefly touched the back of the bottom of my testicles. Then she said I could pull my jeans up and to take a seat as I will just get the consultant. I was thinking she seemed to look at me a long time but didn’t seem to touch me for that long and I was looking forward for her to be seeing me exposed again as I got examined by this other woman.
However she then came back in and said it’s ok she doesn't need to take a look and we think the right thing to do is to get your GP to sort this out, so we will just do the bloods now. Personally I think this consultant woman couldn’t be bothered and the lady I was seeing was obviously very new and had to keep asking for advice on what to do. I think she must have been very new as she didn’t tell me her name or who she was (Dr, Nurse, assistant?) and when she took my blood she used a rubber torniquet and told me to squeeze my fist together and after she had removed the needle I noticed her dripping drops of blood on the floor. She also had a sort of nervousness about how she spoke.
Then she sat back down at the pc and stayed filling a form and staryed asking me questions about my sex life, apologising as she went through it saying sorry they have to asked everyone. In hindsight I thought it was all unnecessary information as I had already had an examination and blood test so why do they then need to know when you last had sex, who with, what type of sex and had you ever paid for sex, then have you done drugs. Finally she I needed to get seen by a urologist and said there were no visible signs of a Sri and then gave me a sample pot to do a urine and took me to the toilet and showed me where to leave the pot in a little cupboard in the toilet after is finished and then I go go straight to the exit.
So I filled up the pot left it in the little cupboard and went home thinking what would have happened if that other consultant woman had come to examine me aswell, where would my perfect woman have been standing? Would they both have been talking about my private bits as they got exposed and examined for a second time? Would the consultant had examined me standing up again in which case my gorgeous first woman would have been able to see me from a different angle perhaps seeing my bare behind? What if I’ve got an infection would I have to go back a see her again for a buttock injection or another exam? What if she wanted to do a rectal examination too, was that a rectal speculum she had ready?
Luckly all my tests were clear so no STI’s so I am relieved and I’m glad I got to be examined by such a lovely and attractive young nurse/dr, but I am now even more annoyed at my GP and that Urologist for putting it in my head that just because they couldn’t tell what’s wrong I must have a STI. I hate it when Drs make you doubt yourself and part of me regrets im never going to see that gorgeous caring dr/nurse again, except in my dreams.