Ideas on what I can stick up my ass!?!?

2 fingers??

How about a cigar? Just be sure not to put it back in the humidor.

Make sure it's a cheap one that's wrapped tight …. keep the good ones for smoking!!!

Put it back in the side of the humidor that you offer to your (not so well-liked) friends!

Make sure it's a cheap one that's wrapped tight …. keep the good ones for smoking!!!

Put it back in the side of the humidor that you offer to your (not so well-liked) friends!

I'm thinking Clinton …..

I think I'm just going to stick to plugs and enema nozzles.

Recently I bought a cheap swim tube like the kids have at the beach and in pools, 8 cm in diameter and 100 cm long. Cut a decent piece from it and rounded the end lubed it and inserted it in my ass, very nice feeling of being full, very full. Now I use it almost daily in the shower, very easy to clean as it doesn't absorb water.

What I like, and you may too. One of my favorites is a toy, about 6 inches long. It has a bulb head, smooth black plastic, tapers down after the bulb part goes in, Bulb part is about 2 inches wide, so it gives you a nice full feeling going in. It has a suction cup on the end, but the plastic has gotten stiff, so the cup does not stick to anything anymore. But, that does not take away from the full feeling, the narrow end sticking out. Oh my, it stays in so nice as I walk around. I can sit on it as I browse the butts on the internet. Plus when I cum, oh my, clamping down on it as I cum, what a super feeling. If you get one, let me know how you like it!

There’s the classic sport store raid, as well as the repurposed swim noodle, how about a baseball bat (unused, with a smooth undamaged surface)? A junior cricket bat? If you’re experienced, a blow moulded tennis ball tube, i.e. One with contoured plastic bottom and no seams? 0.5 liter PET sport drink bottles ( check for rough moulding edges) 1.0-1.5 if you’re an ass master. Put some warm liquid in them to help them keep their shape. Feels good too. Insulated sports drink bottles with intriguing rubber grip contours

just always make sure you leave yourself something to grab hold of and pull back out with if it’s smaller than you are deep.

You can carve ginger to whatever size you want and the bonus is the warming effect. Buy some and put it in the fridge for a month or two and it will get hotter. You can stick a fingernail in it then taste it to gauge the heat too before you buy it.

If I had to stuff any food up my ass, I would probably choose grapes. Pick them all off the vine, wash them, lube them in a bowl, and then settle down to watch a movie with a one minute timer. Every time it dings I’d stuff another one in and start the timer again.

I just used a paint roller with a few condoms over it and put it up my ass.

Raw chicken eggs (still in the shell),

I'd be careful of the shells. They could scratch or possibly damage the colon if they would break.

Go see Red Foreman from That 70's Show. He'll put a foot in your ass.

Just don't use wet concrete. That can be disastrous

Just don't use wet concrete. That can be disastrous

It's been done. They removed .6 lbs of hardened concrete form a guys colon. When they got it out, they found a ping-pong ball encapsulated in the concrete mass. Fortunately, no surgery, they got it out through anal dilation. Doctors recommended psychiatric evaluation, but the patient declined.

https://www.anorak.co.uk/209379/strange-but-true/x-ray-of-concrete-enema-poured-up-mans-anus.html

The gelled anal beads are incredible, when done right. I wouldn't try to use anything large or sharp, unless you want to risk permanent damage, and a large enough medical bill to buy your next mansion.

Stick with sex toys or enema nozzles that are designed to be inserted in your ass. Don't use household items.

Anal toys are designed not hurt your rectal tissue or colon tissue but you still need exercise caution when using them. And most important use generous amounts lube.

The other general advantage of anal toys is that they are usually designed to be easily removed and not get stuck inside your rectum, which can result in an embarrassing trip to the ER.

Another point worth noting is the width of the toy. When we watch porn and see large toys being inserted in asses it's very enticing to want to get a large toy thinking larger means more pleasure- not always true. You really have to know what size toy you can take without causing pain or tearing your sphincter muscle. There is a goldilocks zone where the width of the toy creates pleasurable sensations without pain. You may have to experiment with several toy width sizes to find the perfect toy for you.

It is always best to start small and work your way up when buying anal toys. Don't waste your money on large toys that you will never be able to use and end up in your bottom draw of sex toy fails.

Try one of those lube shooters sold on Amazon. Warm it slightly beforehand.

I pretty much just get rectal temps or suppositories as needed for whatever reason . Yes for the anal pleasure since I am gay I do like things in my butt , but however I don't just stick anything or any object up my ass just for the pleasure.

Cucumber

From the food store, I second the cucumber, especially the vast ones when they’re properly in season. you can choose lengths and thickness and even surface finish to suit your appetite and abilities. Just go long every time to give yourself something to hold on to.

then there’s friend butternut squash. 🤤🤤🤤. built in flare to keep you safe. I avoid eggplant because I‘m worried I might not get it back out without help - maybe a toy maker will do an eggplant on a rope or chain?

with any veg, smoothing the sharp spikes on the surface improves comfort and safety - just use a pot-scouring sponge on the surface. Still bumpy but not spiky. Lovely.

Whipped Cream

Those long hot dogs with a condom over it,bratwurst sausage , the list is endless!

How about frozen grapes until you are full

A Maglite flashlight, the 3 D-cell kind.

Pop Rocks. They have a small amount of CO2 in them that pops as the rock candy melts from moisture and body heat.

Here are some ideas of real insertions that you should NOT to put in your butt - from Cosmopolitan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiKbkQMq82Q

How about soap ? surprised no one has mentioned it yet.

@JulieB123 says

A Maglite flashlight, the 3 D-cell kind.

Soooo you saw the light😁

A Maglite flashlight, the 3 D-cell kind.

It's been done. https://buyxraysonline.com/shop/light-for-butt/

You could put a dildo or a dick up there! 😃