Ideas on what I can stick up my ass!?!?

Here are some ideas of real insertions that you should NOT to put in your butt - from Cosmopolitan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiKbkQMq82Q

WTF, Don't people have common sense?🙄

WTF, Don't people have common sense?🙄

Some could say that about all of us buttplug fans!!!

More than once i could have told the boss where to stick the job.

More than once i could have told the boss where to stick the job

It seems to me that it's often the boss that deserves the insertion of the job, rather than the job being the thing that should be shoved.

I was at the pet store yesterday and I thought I was at a sex toy store…lol. The collection of dog toy bones was amazing. Many sizes and I could just imagine them in my ass. Good bulge on both ends so something to hold on to and nice a smooth. If you own a dog a great way to have an ass toy laying around and no one suspect.

I was at the pet store yesterday and I thought I was at a sex toy store…lol. The collection of dog toy bones was amazing.

Probably could say the same about Sporting Goods Stores, Culinary Stores, Hardware Stores, and many others. Devious minds can be VERY creative!! 😈

@gwhap: Probably could say the same about Sporting Goods Stores, Culinary Stores, Hardware Stores, and many others. Devious minds can be VERY creative!! 😈

A friend of mine mentioned he liked to shove a wooden meat tenderizer up his butt….. I was sure never to eat at house after that 😜😜😜 true story.

I was at the pet store yesterday and I thought I was at a sex toy store…lol. The collection of dog toy bones was amazing. Many sizes and I could just imagine them in my ass. Good bulge on both ends so something to hold on to and nice a smooth. If you own a dog a great way to have an ass toy laying around and no one suspect.

My sub and I do the same thing, peruse the pet toy aisle. For us it wouldn't work out to have “laying around” as we have only cats. But it is a good excuse to use even if ones beloved pet has passed, “I keep it/those in memory of Old Yeller”.

I have heard of the Kong dog toys which can be turned into a plug and even concerted into a plug with an enema nozzle sticking through it. They also come in sizes from small to very large for those of you with orifices large enough to drive 4 monkeys on mopeds through!

It seems to me that it's often the boss that deserves the insertion of the job, rather than the job being the thing that should be shoved.

I have to agree, the job was really ok, it was the boss who was a twat!

Well I think maybe fingers or a finger is the best place to start, extending to more fingers of course if more is appropriate. Anal speculum is obviously very interesting, for a more complete internal examination.

Yellow Squash.

Someone mentioned a “Baseball Bat”. Here's a DIY adaptation of a bat for anal play:

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=431559

Now if you were a gal instead of a guy, it would be an easy answer for me to give. 😈

Hello have you ever played with candy to put you in the buttocks? is this dangerous from gelifier crocodiles

I just got a set of 4 anal beads(balls) and my friend put them up my ass. Wow what a thrill. They were of medium round and fit so tight.

Go to one of the big chain pet stores and buy a small Kong Safestix dog toy. You wont be sorry!

Like @Horny_Always, I find myself constantly aware of and considering which household items to put inside of me. I have toys but those are meant to go in there. I prefer things that aren’t meant to go in there (with the exception of a rectal thermometer). I find the handle end of a toothbrush or a makeup brush to be among my favorite. I just love the feeling of submission I feel when penetrating my rectum.

My list of ‘as many items as I can remember’ that I've stuck up my butt, or had another person stick in my butt, are as follows:

1.) enema/douche nozzles (enema, douche, single and double inflation, two sizes colon tube, specialty enema nozzles);

2.) fingers;

3.) screwdriver handle;

4.) hammer handle;

5.) electric toothpaste;

6.) penises;

7.) tongue;

8.) tampons;

9.) food (cucumber, bananas, potato)

10.) butt plugS;

11.) sex toys (dildos, vibrators, anal beads,

strap-ons)

I bought a double ender if you will, jelly. I wanted something small to start with as one tip is smaller than the other. It is U shaped butt flexible enough

Yellow squash seem to be a perfect possibility. In the Netflix, "Orange is the new Black" they promote a padded screw driver handle. Some like heavy stuff, and then the Chinese invented chiming balls that chime while in a rocking chair. I have maneuvered onto a bathtub down spout a few times for a quick squirt. With that, a garden hose has considerable history that way. You can make coconut oil bolus that slip in quite nicely. Maybe you have heard of Francis the talking mule? Mr. Ed, the talking horse, said while he was the real thing, they were actually playing Francis with retrograde carrots in his back end to make His lips move, while a human voice was dubbed in for his voice and understanding. Other than that, Mr. Ed said, the mule only made strange unintelligible noises. Keep that in mind knowing it is OK, and even proper to make similar noises. But be careful that someone might hear you and want you for their circus act.

I like Marshmallows. Let them soak in warm for a few minutes. Then push 10 or 12 up your butt one at a time. Hold for about 30 minutes, if you can!!!

Tootsie Pop lollipops.

Popsicles, any flavor will do. If you get a variety pack, use your least favorite flavors first. Push it in and wait for it to melt. Then remove the stick. Be careful with cherry and strawberry flavors, as the red dye can really stain.

Creamies are even better than popsicles because they are, well, in a word, creamy. The popsicles are icy, but you may prefer that.

And then, anything that is long with some girth to stretch a little.

Welcome to Zity @JillyBot.

Start with six frozen marshmallows and work your way up…

Maybe you have heard of Francis the talking mule? Mr. Ed, the talking horse, said while he was the real thing, they were actually playing Francis with retrograde carrots in his back end to make His lips move, while a human voice was dubbed in for his voice and understanding.

I think the carrot in the butt trick is Urban Legend. Per Wiki:

"The mule who appeared on-screen was a female named Molly, selected because she was easy to handle.,,,,,, Molly was trained by Les Hilton, an apprentice of Will Rogers; Hilton went on to train Bamboo Harvester, the horse that played Mister Ed. To create the impression that the mule was actually talking, Hilton used a thread fed into the animal's mouth which would cause Molly to try to remove it by moving her lips, the same technique used for Mister Ed."

I have used a cucumber lots of times I just trim off the tip of it just to be safe and make sure you wash it and let it sit out to get to room temperature. You could also use a zucchini. If you want to feel like you are filling and pushing stuff out slowly you could try cherry tomatoes but be careful to count how many you put in so you make sure you get all of them out hehe. Those are all the ideas that are food items I have lol. Non food items you could use that I can think of are a screwdriver handle, a hammer handle, or if you are loose enough a small thin soap bottle. 😜

Good luck I hope you have lots of fun!

Get a camera

Endoscope inspection camera you can get very basic ones cheap on Amazon that work with your phone

Of a more expensive one that articulates

A one pound bag of dried navy beans, one bean at a time. No lube. It feels as weird as it sounds. Reward for getting the entire pound of beans in there is to leave them in and go to sleep. Punishment for not getting them all in is to keep going even though it's uncomfortable until they are all in. Punishment for not completing the task is having to put two pounds in the next time.

Do not use kidney beans, these are toxic unless cooked thoroughly. Pintos, garbanzos, large beans like lima beans worth a try too, either as the initial goal or as punishment for failure.

A one pound bag of dried navy beans, one bean at a time. No lube. …. Punishment for not getting them all in is to keep going even though it's uncomfortable until they are all in. Punishment for not completing the task is having to put two pounds in the next time.

@pervertedoldlady you certainly live up to your user name! 😀😀😀😀