What embarrassing questions were you asked during a medical exam?

Many times that I’ve recently gone to the ER, they ask all patients upon arrival, whether they plan to harm themselves or others, during the screening process. Personally, I find that it’s an extremely offensive and inappropriate question, that’s based on assumptions. It was likely incorporated into their screening questionnaire by an attorney or psychologist, for liability reasons.

"I was 13 years old, standing naked in front of the pediatrician, my mother was present and he asked me if I had already had my first ejaculation."

"At 17 when my doctor asked if I was sexually active with my dad in the room."

"When I was 14, and he had pulled down my undies for the genital exam, he asked my mom if I had started having nocturnal emissions yet, and she said no."

I don’t know why a doctor would ask some of those questions with a parent in the room if they want an honest answer. Not many 13 year old boys or girls would admit to being sexually active in front of a parent. By the time you’re twelve they should start weaning you off accompanied routine exams by asking the parent to step out at a certain point, and parents should expect this.

Obviously if they are seeing you for something serious the parent should be present or at least informed.

Many times that I’ve recently gone to the ER, they ask all patients upon arrival, whether they plan to harm themselves or others, during the screening process. Personally, I find that it’s an extremely offensive and inappropriate question, that’s based on assumptions.

Not only that, but why admit you were planning on hurting someone else? Who is going to give an honest answer to such a question?

Doctors, especially pediatricians, seem to like asking these questions when we were standing nude in front of our moms during our physical exams. They almost seemed to enjoy this dynamic. My pediatrician, who I went to until the end of high school, always with my mother in the exam room, seemed to wait until I was standing nude in front of them as he examined my genitals to ask such questions.

As I posted in another thread here, I think my pediatrician had read this paper:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/44652130_Age_at_first_ejaculation_spermarche_-_The_overlooked_milestone_in_male_development

because he always would do exactly what the paper advised -- ask my mom and me about ejaculation while he had my undies down for my genital exam.

It's a good time to ask that question, because at that point, you have nothing left to hide. No reason to lie.

I agree, though, that asking about sexual activity or drugs or high-risk behavior in front of a parent pretty much guarantees a lie if such activity is in fact happening. But when the question is purely about your own sexual development, naked in front of a parent is probably the ideal time to ask.

Not only that, but why admit you were planning on hurting someone else? Who is going to give an honest answer to such a question?

I volunteered for 5 years as a street pastor.

One night I saw a young female sitting on a bench looking out on the water. I had a feeling I should talk to her, so whilst the rest of my team ( 2 others) looked on from a distance, I went up and asked if I could sit next to her.

She shrugged in a non committal sort of way. As I sat I introduced myself ( I just told her my name).

After a couple minutes of silence she asked me if I had heard of autism.

I explained my son is autistic. She seemed to relax, than explained both her brother and dad were autistic, and she was struggling as her mum had left them.

Than she asked what I was doing at that time of night. I explained the role of a street pastor was to make sure people were safe on a night out. And to offer time to strangers as we live in a world we're no one seems to have time.

After some more small talk she admitted she wanted to kill herself.

It took another 20 minutes or so before so allowed me to call an ambulance, whilst on the phone, she was asked, " are you in danger of harming yourself or someone else" she paused before replying " only myself "

Long story short, the ambulance arrived within 10 minutes of me making the call.

So yes, I think if someone is at rock bottom. They do answer that question honestly.

My pediatrician, who I went to until the end of high school, always with my mother in the exam room, seemed to wait until I was standing nude in front of them as he examined my genitals to ask such questions.

It's a good time to ask that question, because at that point, you have nothing left to hide. No reason to lie.

Or maybe it is bad idea to so humiliate/embarrass someone in that position. Since they have nothing left to loose, why not just as well lie? It might even make them so angry and resentful they might not say anything at all. Or lie for all it's worth.

If you were treated so disrespectfully and intentionally embarrassed in such a manner, I don't think those two adults have any right to expect a truthful answer to such questions. A doctor alone, yes. But with a parent present?

Somehow this manner of thinking that humiliating someone into telling the truth is what was very well portrayed in the opening scenes of the movie 'Zero Dark Thirty'. A terror suspect is tortured and also degraded in a particularly odious manner. It doesn't work in getting him to talk.

Obviously an exam with parent present isn't enhanced interrogation, but humiliating someone is not always the best way to go. Not in real life anyway.

If a doctor deliberately waits until you are naked to tell the truth then there is no trust. Personally, I think it is irresponsible to talk to teens and tweens about their sexual organs and what they might be doing with them while they are naked. It is even worse if they do it in front of a parent. It just proves that the doctor hasn’t established a rapport or trust with their young patient.

All these discussions should happen when the patient is clothed, even with adult patients.

When I was an early teen the doctor wouldn't go beyond having me shirtless. When it came time to drop my pants and the rest... the doctor would instruct my Mom to leave the room. He would always say, "the rest is all guys stuff only!"

I’d say the questions surrounding being sexually active or what sexual or what sexually orientation you are. Mostly as a teen or young adult.

“Are you sexually active?”

“Men, women or both? “

“Do you use protection?”

“ what kind?”

Going to the pediatrician, and I hated the way he asked “How are your poops and pees”. And later asking “Are you sexually active? Are you having thoughts of becoming sexually active?”

I was too naive at the time!

While standing naked in front of my father and his doctor examining my genitals, I was asked about when my pubic and armpit hair started coming in and when my first ejaculation was. I was 13 and didn’t know the exact answers and was a bit surprised to the questions, making things more intense was docs gloved hands holding my testicles in one hand with his other hand on my hip locking me into place and my embarrassment from having an erection. Dad stepped in and answered while doc continued the genital exam and talking with my dad. Doc then asked me about wearing a jockstrap and taught me how to do the self exam.

I was asked about when my pubic and armpit hair started coming in and when my first ejaculation was. I was 13 and didn’t know the exact answers and was a bit surprised to the questions, making things more intense was docs gloved hands holding my testicles in one hand with his other hand on my hip locking me into place and my embarrassment from having an erection. Dad stepped in and answered while doc continued the genital exam and talking with my dad.

Creepy sounding. I know parents can be awful snoops, but it sounds odd a father would know more about their kid's first puberty hair and and ejacuations than the child themselves.

I pity the lack of privacy.

During the time it change what were the embarrassing questions i got asked.

As a young teenager, the question about ejaculation was definitely embarrassing.

As an older teenager it was the question about sexual activity.

Now in adulthood, it is probably questions about sport and a healthy lifestyle. Cause i know i should do more sports and eat healthier than i do it now, but during my late 20s i let those things slide. Any questions in those directions are an uncomfortable reminder for myself.

When I was 13 at a school medical exam, while I was naked, the doctor asked me when did i start growing pubic hair. I just had a small amount of hair just around my penis. I turned pink face as I thought he meant i was underdeveloped. Now I know he didn’t mean that. Then he asked if I had any discomfort while peeing. Again I thought he was suspicious about my health.

When I 13 years old. I had a pediatrician ask if I had started my menstrual cycle, I was so embarrassed because my doctor was a male at the time.

The first embarrassing question I’ll always remember was when the doctor asked about my pubic hair. Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting her to ask me that, and I felt like my face was turning bright red 😳

I was asked by a male doctor if I ever noticed any liquid coming out of my nipples, in the room was 2 other young male interns and also my mom. They all looked at me … the answer was ‘no’. They were all dissapointed somehow!

It always seemed like the doctor asked the most embarrassing questions when I was standing there naked with her hands on my genitals. This almost guaranteed an erection. Asking about sexual activity and masturbation while reassuring me that it was completely normal while my mother and sister stood nearby watching was extremely embarrassing. Sometimes she would say things like "nothing to be embarrassed about lots of women are going to see you naked." I know that this was meant to calm my nerves but it only drew more attention to my nakedness. There were also questions about self exams which I learned how to answer to avoid a more thorough examination.

I was asked by a male doctor if I ever noticed any liquid coming out of my nipples, in the room was 2 other young male interns and also my mom. They all looked at me … the answer was ‘no’. They were all dissapointed somehow!

Answering questions the wrong way can lead to a more thorough examination. I learned to say that I always performed monthly testicular self examinations and didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. Otherwise the doctor would show me how to examine myself and ask me to do so while she watched. Then I would receive a thorough testicular exam which would cause me to have a throbbing erection in front of my mother and sister.

I think the most embarrassing questions I’ve ever been asked was when I was a teenager.

I remember going to the doctor for a what I thought was just a mole check (it was booked by my parents because I said I had a lump on my leg), but it had been booked as a comprehensive health check which included sexual health check. I don’t think it was an intentional act by my parents, I think it was a mix up during making the booking. I have learned since that the receptionist is not very good at their job.

I remember being asked whether I am sexually active, how often I masturbate, how many sexual partners I’d had, etc.

All embarrassing but not hard to answer. When they asked me whether my sexual partners were women or men, I felt incredibly embarrassed as I had not told anyone I was bi yet. They asked me if one of my male sexual partners had penetrated me and I think that was the most embarrassing question.

@sensei1980 Interesting how she assumed you would be heterosexual and have multiple partners! 😉 What self-examination were you supposed to do?

@intrigue Was there anything special about being penetrated by a male? Did admitting it entail more examination, advice regarding safe sex, etc.?

Well, actually the answer was no… But it was still the most embarrassing question.

I don’t know if it was teen bravado or what but it felt like I was answering a question I didn’t think I would be ready to answer

@sensei1980 Interesting how she assumed you would be heterosexual and have multiple partners! 😉 What self-examination were you supposed to do?

I'm guessing that the erection gave her a clue. Also in the 90s it was just assumed that someone would be heterosexual. Most people have multiple partners, but I guess it was somewhat of a compliment. She was referring to testicular self exams that you should be performing monthly in the shower.

"Have you started experiencing nocturnal emissions?"

"Any changes on your body I should take a look at?"

"Are we keeping clean down here?"

From when I was a kid and going to see the doctor after he had told my mom to give me enemas:

"Are the enemas helping you go to the bathroom?"

I absolutely dreaded him asking me questions about enemas in front of my mom, though I don't recall him asking me about enemas in front of my siblings.

"Are you okay with doing more enemas?"

For some reason, I always said yes, even though I hated getting them and was massively embarrassed about it. I imagine that it was the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation that cause me to give a quick yes so he would just stop asking me questions about enemas knowing full well that I would probably be getting one later.

I've wonder why I just never told him no, or why my mom never spoke up and said that I sometimes had to be chased down and dragged into the bathroom, which would have also been humiliating to share with the doctor.

It was at the proctologist, during the exam the doctor asked if I had a habit of having anal sex.

It was at the proctologist, during the exam the doctor asked if I had a habit of having anal sex

@Miguel Any idea why he asked that, and what was your response?

It was at the proctologist, during the exam the doctor asked if I had a habit of having anal sex.

That's something of an ambiguous question if you think about it.

Anal sex isn't just having a penis penetrate the anus, but you could also consider the use of anal plugs, dildos or other sex toys as anal sex activity and the same goes for fingering the anus, either outwards or inside.

I doubt few ask for clarification from the doctor what they are actually asking about specifically though. A bit sensitive a subject.

@Rigel I just replied that I was gay and nothing else.

@Rubnlickmi That pediatrician's actions seem waaay suspicious.