How do I stretch out for Anal sex?

So, my husband and I have anal sometimes. He won't stretch me out. I'm wondering how to stretch myself out, with as little pain as possible. Any ideas or tips are welcome!

How do you mean, he won’t stretch you out? He just wants to do anal, without easing into it??

Communicate! Tell him he needs to help you relax first And start slow. Maybe have a toy handy And ask him to use it first.

I use my fingers… lots of lube with one, two, three and maybe four fingers … one at a time getting loose and warmed up all at once. 😃

Butt plugs are the way to go to get stretched plus they are a of of fun on their own😃

The very few times I've had anal sex, we usually start off with the usual foreplay of kissing, groping, and caressing. I then give her oral sex to guarantee that she has at least one orgasm. While I'm down there, I will begin caressing her crack and asshole. Using her own juices as lubricant I will gently insert my finger tip as much as her sphincter easily allows and just generally play with her anus.

When she's ready and had enough oral, she will roll over or get in whatever position she wants to take me in. I will lube up a finger and her butthole. I gently and slowly insert a finger and begin teasing and fingering her while I am kissing and caressing her back, butt, neck, or whatever body parts I can access depending on which position she has chosen.

When I notice she is responding favorably (moving her hips and humping my finger, breathing heavier, etc.) I will re-lube a couple of fingers and insert them in her backside. Usually by now she likes me to finger her a little bit faster and rougher too. While I am still kissing and caressing her body I begin to rub my erection over her body and between her ass while I am still fingering her. She will then get in whatever final position she wants me to enter her while I apply more lube to my penis and her butthole.

I press the head of my cock to her anus and just maintain a constant pressure. Depending on our position, she will slowly ease on to my penis or I will slowly enter her. And I do mean extremely slowly. Once my cock finally pops in, we both just stop and wait. Her butt will eventually adjust and then her or I will slowly ease my cock in bit by bit. Once I'm fully inside her, once again we just wait a little bit. Slowly I will start by moving my hips and just stirring around still fully inside her. Once she is at ease I slowly begin to pull out, and back in. Usually within a few strokes she is good to go and I can begin to f*ck her up the ass as we both want. No matter how slow and sensual, or fast and pounding we end anal sex, it always starts out nice and slow.

I use those street sinalization cones……works good for me 😉 JK @Dragonflies369

I think u should buy different toys sizes and use from small to large till u reach the opening you want to.

Be safe

Za

You can read the book The Story Of O. There are some interesting suggestions there.

One woman I had a lot of anal intercourse with liked two things before hand. One; she loved being rimmed. Two; she liked being fingered, two fingers actually, in her bottom with Vaseline for awhile. I was very happy to oblige!

A hot, moist tongue licking and probing your anus is a great way to start. Then a lubricated finger gently inserted and rotated followed by an addional finger or two works for me! Then let the real fun begin!🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

Well DF369 if it is really a DYI project you had in mind I would suggest the following. First I think you need to put yourself in the mood with a healthy dose of slow masturbation and not to even think of touching your little pucker before your pussy is flushed and wet.

When you achieved that goal begin rubbing with well lubricated fingers the space between your pussy and your little pucker. If you have a nice lube generously smear it all around your anus and start some slow circles with 2 fingers and then sliding them up and down that little anal seam. If your pussy needs more rubbing use one hand for it and the other for your anus. Begin to apply pressure at the center until you feel yourself open and insert your single finger in an inch or two.

When one is comfortable add a second finger. Repeat this procedure several times a day and within a couple of week you'll open like a fresh flower ready for hubbies cock. Still I think he should be eating your pussy and doing this along with a superb rimming every time before anal sex.

As a doctor I examine a lot of asses, the way to get inside is to make the patient relax and then a lot of lube,i use latex glove but at home make sure no sharp edges on your fingernails, then when you want to insert the finger do it slowly using the soft tip of your finger and add a little pressure while the recipient(patient) press down like a bowel movement, once the finger is inside let it rest a few seconds to get used to it. It always works unless the patient is seeking for an all tea aka a anal fissure.

I started with fingers, then moved to a medium buttplug, the standard flared Doc Johnson type one, made sure i used lots of lube and gently moved it in and out a few times just to what I could take, after a couple of sessions i could take it no problem, no pain and just pleasure. Obviously everyone is different just take it slow and you will soon get used to the penetration. If you are getting lots of pain or blood then stop. Pain is there for a reason. Remember to relax. All the problems come from the inner sphincter, its not so much stretching it, its just getting it used to something going in… Hope that helps.

Great ideas here!!

While lots of these ideas are for me to do on myself, what I yearn for is my husband to do them on me. He won't finger me, well he will but not a orgasm-good job. He won't eat me out or work on me with my vibe.

I feel it's selfish of him. I work on him, kiss and give head. I would think he'd want to return the favor, I guess not.

Time for a new lover? I’m sad.

@Dragonflies369 Hm strange that he will fuck you anally but not “prepare” your bottom to your desire beforehand. I consider it living a dream to gently, slowly, firmly get a woman’s bottom hole ready for fucking. Have you told him straight up that’s what you desire? And asked him why he’s not doing so? Sometimes there are legit reasons for people’s behavior, sometimes it’s just a mystery. Communication is so hard but is usually the only answer.

Great ideas here!!

While lots of these ideas are for me to do on myself, what I yearn for is my husband to do them on me. He won't finger me, well he will but not a orgasm-good job. He won't eat me out or work on me with my vibe.

I feel it's selfish of him. I work on him, kiss and give head. I would think he'd want to return the favor, I guess not.

@Dragonflies369 Sorry to hear about your situation. If he won't return the same, maybe it's time to move on. And yes, very selfish of him.

Great ideas here!!

While lots of these ideas are for me to do on myself, what I yearn for is my husband to do them on me. He won't finger me, well he will but not a orgasm-good job. He won't eat me out or work on me with my vibe.

I feel it's selfish of him. I work on him, kiss and give head. I would think he'd want to return the favor, I guess not.

Certainly, you should tell him if you’re not enjoying anal the way he’s doing it now, if you haven’t already. If you have told him, and he still isn’t helping you get more comfortable before anal, then maybe you need to just say, then no more anal, if he can’t do it right for you. I’m also trying to think of how you could withhold something that he enjoys, like messing up a blow job, to make him realize you’re doing something for him that’s he’s not doing for you.

Of course, there are educational videos, and books, about this sort of thing, but those usually are more for couples who haven’t already tried anal, but there might be some for those who have tried it, but aren't sure they’re doing it right.

Also, just finding some videos where a guy is doing the sort of things you’d like to have done for you, and getting your husband to watch that with you.

How do you think he’d feel about you doing a rim job on him? Or the other types of things you’d like him to do? That might make him feel like he should reciprocate for you.

@Dragonflies369 Hm strange that he will fuck you anally but not “prepare” your bottom to your desire beforehand. I consider it living a dream to gently, slowly, firmly get a woman’s bottom hole ready for fucking. Have you told him straight up that’s what you desire? And asked him why he’s not doing so? Sometimes there are legit reasons for people’s behavior, sometimes it’s just a mystery. Communication is so hard but is usually the only answer.

Not to be gross, but it could be the “shit” aspect of it all. Some people are just grossed out by the exit passage and it's contents, and doesn't want to express this.

Dragon: This is indiscreet of me, but have you asked him in plain unambiguous words to stretch you out? And maybe tried providing gloves and lubricants when asking that?

So, I want to answer people's comments here but how do I put @someones.name and put a part of part of what they posted earlier? Like what “Sundaybrunch” did two posts earlier.

Thanks for the help!

Just type @ followed by the name….. it'll give you a small list that matches what you type and select the name. thats it…. and wow…. your guy is missing half the fun….

Ok, that helps!

So on the 18th post, @sundaybrunch copied what someone wrote and its said that I wrote it. How do I do the copy part?

Ok, that helps!

So on the 18th post, @sundaybrunch copied what someone wrote and its said that I wrote it. How do I do the copy part?

You do this when you are writing your post. Scroll your screen and find the other post you want to quote and use the Insert Quote button next to it.

The late Jack Morin, in Anal Pleasure and Health, suggested the receiver of anal be the one to prepare, and he gave a lot of good “how to” instructions. The first edition was in 1981, and it has been updated a number of times since. I eagerly prepped my wife Carla 40 years ago, based on youthful mentoring by a much older and thoroughly experienced woman. Few men are so fortunate, but get Morin's book, read it together, and both of you apply what you've learned.

You do this when you are writing your post. Scroll your screen and find the other post you want to quote and use the Insert Quote button next to it.

Yay!!! I did it!! Thanks so much😊

@Dragonflies369 Have you told him straight up that’s what you desire? And asked him why he’s not doing so? Sometimes there are legit reasons for people’s behavior, sometimes it’s just a mystery.

I have asked him specifically for the things. He says just because…

@Dragonflies369 If he won't return the same, maybe it's time to move on.

But I love him.

If you have told him, and he still isn’t helping you get more comfortable before anal, then maybe you need to just say, then no more anal, if he can’t do it right for you. I’m also trying to think of how you could withhold something that he enjoys, like messing up a blow job, to make him realize you’re doing something for him that’s he’s not doing for you.

Also, just finding some videos where a guy is doing the sort of things you’d like to have done for you, and getting your husband to watch that with you.

How do you think he’d feel about you doing a rim job on him? Or the other types of things you’d like him to do? That might make him feel like he should reciprocate for you.

I'm the one who wants anal, not him. He doesn't seem very receptive to helping me.

Not to be gross, but it could be the “shit” aspect of it all. Some people are just grossed out by the exit passage and it's contents, and doesn't want to express this.

True enough.

Dragon: This is indiscreet of me, but have you asked him in plain unambiguous words to stretch you out? And maybe tried providing gloves and lubricants when asking that?

Great idea!!!

Thank you all for the help!!!

Sorry I meant to put peoples names. Oops!

“Not to be gross, but it could be the “shit” aspect of it all. Some people are just grossed out by the exit passage and it's contents, and doesn't want to express this.”

Preparatory enema a possibility? Or did I miss something?

I don't. When my better half uses the strap-on, I just let it happen. I enjoy that exquisite brief moment of needles and pins during penetration. Especially if balls deep on the initial push.

Humm, I wonder what she's doing tomorrow.

I dont stretch out i let others stretch me its more fun

I have posted in other threads about the comfort details of butt plugs, and I feel this thread deserves a little clarification.

Butt plugs have 3 primary features: the bulbous head, the long neck, and the handle. For comfortable butt plug wearing, especially for longer periods of time or physical activity, a long skinny neck allows the sphincter to close down and securely hold the bulbous head inside after being inserted. The handle is often T shaped to more neatly nest between the butt cheeks. The goal here is to wear it and enjoy the feeling of it inside, no matter the size or weight.

Anal dilators are often lumped together with butt plugs, however, they are different in many ways. Dilators are often sold in a set of 5. Both the bulbous head AND the neck progress in size as you move from smallest to largest. The head and neck may even be the same size, looking more like a continuous shaft. The handle is not necessarily T shaped, but often a full ridge all around the base.

While a butt plug is designed to be inserted and enjoyed in its own way, dilators are intended to be used as a training progression. A first time user might slowly insert a size 1 (approximately the size of an adult thumb) with plenty of lube and massaging. They might keep it in for 5 or 10 minutes, allowing the sphincter time to relax and adjust to the sensation of being held open. The user then might remove it, and insert it again, seeing if the sphincter is more agreeable to allowing it in and out with less resistance.

If all goes well and feels good, the user might repeat this process with the size 2 dilator. Use lots of lube and go slow. The process of learning to relax and accept objects into ones anus takes time, both in a single session and over the course of many sessions. Learning to relax and stretch a muscle is similar to slowing improving at yoga. Take baby steps to avoid injuries. While the first few days may only utilize size 1, eventually the training session will include sizes 1 and 2. After more days of practice one may use sizes 1, 2, and 3. Beginners may prefer to explore by themselves at first as it gives them complete control over the insertion process and the decision of if and when to try the next size up.

Some users might reach a point where they can skip size 1 and their daily session begins with size 2 and then progresses up to 3 and 4. Everyone is different and part of the fun is practicing and learning about your own body.

As this relates to sex, one might want to use the dilators as a part of foreplay, with a partner or alone before the partner joins. Having the anus well lubicated, relaxed, and comfortable holding a size 3 or 4 is a great precursor to anal sex.

Some users may find that over time, their daily session requires only sizes 3, 4, and 5. If the goal of penetration with a partner during anal sex only involves an item that is approximately the same diameter as a size 3 dilator, they may be able skip the use of dilators during foreplay, and simply use lube and massage to ease them into the main event. If anal sex is enjoyed frequently, the use of the dilators may taper off and no longer be needed. If anal sex is only experienced occasionally, one might want to keep some practice sessions every now and then so as to not loose the gains that have been made.

(I’m not related to these companies in any way, just providing a sample image for reference.)

Typical anal dilator set:

https://www.rainbowdepot.com/Ms-Expansion-Trainer-Anal-Dilator-Set_p_142060.html

Typical butt plug:

https://www.bvibe.com/snug-plug.html?136_323&92_33