When I was about 12,upon coming home from school I would go straight upstairs, sit on the toilet and masturbate. One day, I was aware that my mother was outside the door of the bathroom, I could see her shadow under the door which was directly in from of the toilet, maybe about ten feet away. The door had a keyhole. I could see from where I was sitting, daylight through the keyhole, until one day, the shadow under the door remained, and the keyhole darkened. I was in the throws of rubbing my penis between my palms, close to one of my early pubescent orgasms when I was aware. My initial reaction was of shock and embarrassment, also one of shame. Had I been found out?
I felt very sheepish for a few days thinking that my mother was watching me masturbate. However, the thought actually turned me on over the coming weeks. In those days, after my first orgasm of thin, watery semen, I soon began to produce quite large amounts of thick, lumpy semen, which had a strong odour. One day, the penny dropped. My mother mentioned after I came out of the bathroom that there was “a strong, musty smell in here”. That is how my young sperm smelled.
From then on, coming home school I could not wait to run upstairs, into the bathroom, drop my long school uniform trousers, and sort of put a show on. I waited until I could hear the squeaks of the floor outside the door of the bathroom, I would stand sideways on so I was sure my mother would be able to see my penis jutting out, erect. I would sit on the toilet, trousers around my ankles, lay back and play with my erect penis, pulling the foreskin right back so my bared glans and frenulum would be observed. I would begin to masturbate, pulling the skin down over and over. Knowing that my mother was watching me masturbate. In those days, it took me probably about thirty seconds to ejaculate. I would pull up my foreskin so to catch all of my sperm, by nipping the end. Once finished, I would roll back the foreskin and allow the sperm to flow out onto my upper thigh, and for some strange reason, rub the sperm into my thigh.
I don’t know how long I kept up this show, maybe for a year or so until I was about 13. My mother never, ever said a word about it, but it fuelled so many masturbation fantasies for me over the ensuing years. It also made me think it could have gone further, wishing and hoping that one day, my mother would end up masturbating me, just so she could see close up, how much sperm I was producing, also for her to hold and examine my erect penis.
How that simple, ”innocent” event of my mother watching through the keyhole led to me wanting to be masturbated by her, has led me to foster such taboo fantasies about mother/son play.