Acorn insertions suitable and safe?

Thinking about new ways to please my anus I wonder if using acorns would be suitable and safe. Of course you'd have to remove sharp parts of the surface and clean them.

Someone here who thought about that, too or even tried? Please let me know your thoughts, opinions and experiences.

That sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe you can also get some squirrels to go in and eat the acorns. :-)

That sounds like a wonderful idea. Maybe you can also get some squirrels to go in and eat the acorns. :-)

Try gerbils, they have been proven to be safe!

And if that fails you can work your was up to small house pets...baseballs, softballs and eventually a bowling ball

@billy2016 said

Someone here who thought about that, too or even tried? Please let me know your thoughts, opinions and experiences.

J F C

Find something that has not been lying on the ground outside in or on soil, doesn't have sharp edges or a cap that can separate from the rest of the acorn seed. If you must use something from a tree, even chestnuts would be a better choice. Make sure they are clean, not penetrated by insects or moldy. At least there you won't have sharp objects inside yourself.

This is a very poor [STUPID] choice of materials for anal insertion.

There are countless equivalent sized and shaped objects you could use that don't have so many contraindications.

Maybe grapes could be a reasonable and safer alternative. Dimensionally you'd be on par and your vulnerable ass would thank you. And they are readily available. Rinse well and insert.

I would not recommend it because I had some as a kid in a drawer until some maggots came out. So unless you like something squirming in your butt it is probably not a good idea.

Marbles seems like a safer choice. They can be sterilized between use and come in various sizes. Maybe a mixture of sizes would be fun.

Have to agree that these don't sound like a good choice, for so many reasons, as listed by others. Surely there is something else within reach that can suffice? Have you thought about hitting up some thrift stores and checking out the jewelry section? Large beaded necklaces perhaps? Or just large beads? (Thinking bead stores or online suppliers.)

How about polished rocks? I have used many of them on several occasions. The can be had in many sizes and the quantity is almost limitless. They are clean and can be reused. There are better choices besides acorns.

I would be very cautious because Raw acorns contain tannins which can be toxic to humans and cause an unpleasant bitter taste. They are also poisonous to horses, cattle and dogs. They can be consumed if properly leached, but that requires them to be smashed and VERY thoroughly rinsed.

If I were inclined, and I’m not, I’d choose gerbils over acorns and as @chrizschwarzwal mentioned acorns could breed maggots. There are probably acorn shaped butt plugs out there. Much safer.

If not, why not try the seeds from an avocado? Good size, smoothe texture. Heck. if you have gas they could be downright deadly.

Another darwin award nominee

How about a stainless steel chain! Maybe a couple of feet... depending on the size of the links! I'll check out Home Depot today!

Conventional thinking says dont put anything up there that could get lost or stuck, maybe look for a butt plug with a flared end that can can stimulate you but not cause a trip to the hospital.

IMHO

The shell contains high amounts of tannins which certainly could cause irritation. The actual meat / nut is highly toxic. Acorns can be eaten, but only after the toxins have been processed out, which involves repeated boiling in a wood ash / lye solution.

I wouldn’t make a habit of stuffing my cheeks with acorns. They’re best left to the squirrels.

Never in all my life have I thought "NUTS!" "I can shove them up my bum." My only thought is how tasty they are Not well well they might slip up my bottom. Plus there are tons of other objects that are way safer then outdoor nuts. The process to sanitize them is not just a simple wash. THEY WERE IN A TREE AND ON THE GROUND. Plus, NATURE SHITS EVERYWHERE.

The shell contains high amounts of tannins which certainly could cause irritation. The actual meat / nut is highly toxic. Acorns can be eaten, but only after the toxins have been processed out

I forgot about this little nugget of information. This is actually 100% true.

Not so sure i would try that... too many other options.... grapes, cherry tomatos, peeled kiwis, shelled hard boiled eggs, large marshmallows... in fact I've often though about someone stuffing me with the eggs or marhmallows

Why even consider acorns? Go for something bigger and safer