Women Who Know What They Want - Beth Anne

I see red…I see red…I see red

Penned by NZ rock group –-Split Enz…from their hit album….True Colours

Such irony (lol)

TA & his Tailz From Downunder

I suspect that all you may be right about Charlotte not being new to enemas and you may be spot on where that is concerned. I am only really familiar with enemas and how it all started with my wife @Ms_Lila and when we were both experimenting with anal sex, just like Charlotte is experimenting with me. In her case, she wants to do more anal sex but she wants to take away any doubts about when we do it, just like Beth Anne and I felt when we were making anal sex more and more of our sex play. And when all of that started with me and Beth Anne, enemas were purely utilitarian and an ends to a means and were confined to those little Fleets Enemas. But I think that has been covered so I won’t go back into that again.

Even before last week, probably a couple of months ago or sometime around the first of the year, Charlotte and I had been talking about the two of us trying anal sex together. I felt like she might be interested in anal stimulation when we were having foreplay and I probed or played around back there, cautiously, and she didn’t seem to mind but there was still some hesitation on her part and I correctly guessed, back then, that it was something she had to think about and work into it slowly. I let her take the lead when that subject came up but she when she brought it up she was always open to talking about it and how it felt and how it might go easier. We talked a lot about trying anal sex together and of course the subject of my experience with Beth Anne came up and we talked about it freely. We also talked about her sex life with her own husband and how he has limitations but is not completely out of the game yet as far as she was concerned. It is clear, and she makes sure it is clear, that she still loves him and that the sex department is the only area lacking in their marriage and he was and is open to her going outside of their marriage.

That started us on the anal sex and she had to have done a Fleets enema before we ever started and that reminded me of how Beth Anne was those first few times. She never did them in front of me and to tell you the truth I never thought it was the most sexy thing that could be done. It was something necessary to take the worry out of anal sex and it was that way with my wife for quite awhile. I will have to probably repeat myself a little here, because when my wife and I started to really get into anal sex, that is about the time that we became involved with another couple in particular, @Lora_C and Tom. I am not real clear on the time line but Lora didn’t know it but she was being stalked or spied on by my wife and Lora’s daughter because they suspected she was having an affair and her mood and disposition, which had been turning sour was taking a turn for the better more and more and, well, Beth Anne and DD weren’t going to allow that to happen with out them knowing why.

Her, Lora’s, mood and outlook on life was starting to look up and be more positive and Beth Anne and DD weren’t going to let her get away with that without them knowing why! What was Lora thinking? I don’t know if Beth Anne knew that DD was here at zity.biz or not or if they were co-conspirators or just how that went down or exactly when that went down. But that sort of got lost when we started swinging with Lora and Tom and we met with @gibby and her husband Pete through Lora. I had always wondered how that came to be but it wasn’t important to me because I was busy with my wife going to nude dinners, breakfasts, an ocean side nudie resort, and becoming a porn star with my wife. Wife swapping, swinging, I had no idea what to call it and I didn’t care because I wasn’t going to try to figure it out and uncover the “real reason” behind it all like someone I know and love. 😉 Why not enjoy it for what it was and not overthink it? I know, what was I thinking?

And Lora was really into enemas and so was Gibby and the way they did it made me see that they were pretty sexy or erotic in the way they did their enemas. It was part of the foreplay for them and I had to be honest because seeing the women getting an enema was a turn on and they took on a whole new meaning for me and I can’t think of them as anything but erotic and sexy now. Now, when Charlotte and I were talking about Beth Anne and her enemas I know I had to let it slip that Beth Anne having an enema was sexy and I loved to watch her having one or me giving her one and that the anal sex was just icing on the cake. So I know that Charlotte picked up on that she started to not try to hide her having a Fleet enema before we had anal sex. It was a lot like how Beth Anne started letting me in on her having an enema and I will say that Charlotte is intuitive and probably knows “her men” well enough on what to say and what to do to get them on board with the way she is thinking.

So the week or so before last, we, Charlotte and I, had been talking about anal sex and enemas and how harsh the Fleet enemas were. I took the bait and offered up some expert advice on what we found worked for Beth Anne and me. She was even more effective or convincing when we talked about it after having sex and that “afterglow” pillow talk. She got me to suggest that maybe she should try a “real enema” a few times to see how she liked it and that we could go as slow or as fast as she liked to. Yes, looking back I may have been “played” but I think we both knew that we were getting on the same page. We set the time to give the enemas a try as a form of foreplay and to take the worry out of anal sex, which she really was concerned about.

That lead to Beth Anne picking out the enema set and the whole bunch of details and me taking them to Charlotte last week. To her credit and maybe giving me some credit, Charlotte didn’t try that batting her eyes and being so reluctant or scared to let me give her that first enema. There was none of that rolling her eyes or wringing her hands or that coy stuff or outright disgust at having to endure the indignity of getting an enema. And there wasn’t any of that “OH GOD THIS IS SO STRANGE SO WEIRD” acting out I’ve seen in some of the videos about first time enemas. Squealing like little girls or women who getting an enema is only a necessary evil to having a nice clean anal sex session. Nothing of the sort and Charlotte made herself available physically and mentally and emotionally for that very first time when I lightly lifted her buttocks cheek and slowly inserted the douche nozzle into her anus and rectum.

Her toes did curl a little bit as I was slipping it into her and she did have some goosebumps show up, but she told me that it felt pretty good and a lot different when someone else was doing it. But I caught her looking at my face mostly when I was getting her parted and ready for the nozzle and it would have been obvious that I was liking what I was being allowed to do. That very first enema was only about a quart of plain warm water maybe a little less and I went very slow. Although she was more than capable of holding the nozzle inside of her, she didn’t mind my keeping my hand there to hold it in. I did notice and she knew I noticed, that she was aroused as evidence by the milky secretions between her lips and that she was a little swollen.

When she was getting that first enema she looked like she was really mulling it around in her mind and how a person’s eyes would look one way or the other like she was analyzing how it was making her feel. I saw those same kinds of looks from Beth Anne when we started giving her enemas and none of the fake “oooh and ahhh” or the loud squeals that ruin more than one of the enema videos I’ve ever seen. No, Charlotte was all about what she was feeling and checking out how I was thinking and reacting to her reacting to that first enema I was giving her.

I may be reading some of the posts by other women here who aren’t into enemas or outright say that there is no way they are ever going to be given an enema, but you are either into them or you aren’t. Even if the partner they are with like enemas and enjoy being given an enema, there are some here who just won’t indulge their partner in either giving or getting. And that may be the right thing for them to respect and understand and accept that their partner does not find enemas to be their thing. But it was pretty obvious to Charlotte that I liked giving her that first enema and I mean obvious. 😄

Charlotte released that first enema in private because she didn’t want to run the risk that the smell wasn’t that good. I didn’t put up some false bravado on that because I understood and that is why I always have a book of matches in my shaving kit for those times when I’m getting rid of some pizza or other spicy food. Why run the risk? I understood that and it took awhile for Beth Anne and me to get comfortable with being around each other when we released our enemas. And before I forget, Beth Anne is right about her probably getting 20 enemas for everyone she gives me. The reason for that is that I fully appreciate how erotic it is giving her enemas and she knows I like giving them to her.

Which brings me to some of the observations of some ladies here about Charlotte maybe tipping her hand about wanting more enemas by saying that she will probably have to have three or more three enema sessions before she makes up her mind whether she likes them or not. The second enema I gave her during that first series was also no more than a quart of plain warm water and it was more relaxed and easier for her to take. She was more and more looking outside of herself to see how or if I was enjoying giving her that enema. Again it was obvious and she liked that it was obvious. The third enema I gave her in that trail series was a little bigger by about a half and she looked inwards a little because of the greater volume of enema I was giving her. She was handling it very well and becoming used to it and me being the one sitting behind her more or less in the driver’s seat. The sex afterwards was phenomenal and she really enjoyed the insertion of the lube shooters full of KY in her as part of our after enema anal sex.

The day after that when Charlotte and I met and made time for her second enema series and it was a lot more relaxed and less hesitancy on either of our parts. Again we started out with a smaller quart plain warm water enema at a slow pace and he released on her own. She wanted a “full” or “official” enema for the next enema and it was a full two quarts and done very slowly. This one had her really looking inward to see what it was doing to her body and making her feel. We had agreed that any sign of pain that she did not want or felt and we would stop or slow down. That happened a few times but it was nothing like those fake or dramatic porn enemas where they screw their face up in agony and beg for mercy. That third enema I gave her (her sixth enema overall) and we were getting used to each other and she was studying my face every step of the way just like I was watching her. It was another full two quarts but a little faster and a little higher and she was handling it like a pro and making some running commentary about how it was making her feel, and that she felt like she could possible get into these enemas if they were like the first ones I had given her.

After the enemas we had anal sex and when I came we lay on our sides and spooned and dozed on and off. Charlotte said that it would probably take four more enema sessions before she had an idea of how they would work for her and when she told me that I may not have understood just what she meant by that. @Ms_Lila, @gibby and @Dahiana you ladies have made me think about that and question just what I understood from Charlotte after that last enema I gave her and whether she was already convinced or sold on the enemas or if she was already experienced. And I may have not explained it very well either and all I know is that tomorrow afternoon when I go back up north that I am going to listen more closely and not presume something.

I’m also going to be up front with Charlotte when she asks me if I like giving her enemas or not. I’m going to do that bit about not wanting to influence her about my liking to give women enemas and thinking that she will be letting me give her an enema just because I like to do it. I am going to trust her to be like Beth Anne to be up front with her partner, me or @Cedar or @gibby and her husband, about what she will or won’t do. Sure Beth Anne indulges me with so many enemas given to her but she likes the give and take and she gets what she wants out of them. I am going to be up front with Charlotte about that too and go from there and I should be careful about being “coy” and just lay it all out there and work with that.

So we’ll see.

And for sure there will be no hand holding, brushing lint off of my shoulder, or straightening my collar, but ok to go on the anal sex and enemas. 😁 I’m not sure how that all works but I’m not going to anger a certain ginger haired florist and find out. I’ve been warned and she is not subtle.

Since I'll be helping Beth Anne with the delivery tonight and doing preflight tomorrow, I thought I'd better post this.

@Night_Pilot …What a good post

Ms Charlotte seems to me like a real neat lady.

I'll endeavour to add more when I have a few spare moments

TA.

I apologize for being away for so long and I see that I am way behind on everything here. The Wednesday delivery at @Ms_Lila's shop is due shortly and so I won't have even close enough time to fill in the blanks.

I will give a quick and cursory update on Charlotte and the enema sessions she wanted to try before making up her mind. After the first two sessions back when I wrote about her wanting to experiment, Charlotte and I met up at a research site and she had the enema set up Beth Anne had bought for me to give to her. I was still under the impression that she wanted to keep with the additional three or four three enema sessions to make up her mind as to whether or not she was going to be into them.

That first night back with her we were settling in and making appearances and we went to her quarters to get reacquainted with each other. She, not me, asked me if we should do anal and the way she asked meant that, yes, we were going to do anal. It was not like I was going to object or even hesitate at that and wanted to know if she wanted a series of enemas before we begun. I then added that she might have to relax back into them and that I would understand if she declined. As usual I was being overly cautious and reassuring and if it had been Beth Anne she would have told me to shut up and just fuck her.

Charlotte cut me off at the “make sure your tray is in the upright position" and confessed that by the time I gave her the fourth enema during that first time, she was sold on them as part of sex play but with a real benefit for her and her constipation problems after long flights. But she said that what really sold her was how good I was at giving her the enemas and how much touching and caring I gave her while we did that. I didn't tell her, but everything I know about giving enemas was learned with Beth Anne and our giving each other feed back on what we liked and didn't like. Charlotte also said that she liked how her enemas were having some nice results from me. There's no doubt about it, an enema tube in a woman's bum is a sex sight and Charlotte has a very nice bum.

Charlotte said that she isn't fully on to the idea of enemas being erotic or sexy but that might not be so accurate any more. She told me that after that first time and her return home, she did an enema and it helped her feel better and brought back some good memories.

It's time for the delivery or close to it.

Again I'm here at Beth Anne's (@Ms_Lila) shop waiting for the delivery people to make the delivery. Beth Anne and I have a lot to talk about and catch up on, especially as to where we are in our “sexploration” and what it means to the pair of us. We do this a lot because we love each other and are committed to one another and have been for almost 40 or 45 years now. We periodically take stock of who we are, who we want to be, and if we are who we want to be.

I've been looking in on zity.biz as a guest when I'm away from home and I'm away from home way too much. Beth Anne and I are on the phone with each other a lot though and that helps to make it a little more tolerable. Although we know the dangers of “phone sex” and sending videos over the phone, we do it anyway. To be accurate, she sends the videos and I have quite a collection. She really has become an expert with a “selfie stick” when she does a little show for me to let me know how much she misses me. I think she can give lessons on were to put the handle of the selfie stick so that you can capture the best view of a woman when she masturbates. She's really very good at it now and it keeps us close and in the loop with each other. She has rules for me to follow (no hand holding, no allowing brushing of lint off of my shoulder, and no straightening my collar by another woman) and I have rules for her to follow such as no “phone sex” or videos to anyone else but me.

Because I'm such a lousy correspondent when it comes to writing about my times with Charlotte, we are going to be talking about Charlotte tonight after the delivery. As some of you may know, and who may be rightfully peeved that I haven't written a great deal about Charlotte, Charlotte has been letting me give her enemas when we are on the same job site or research station. Charlotte seems to view enemas more as utilitarian in helping her combat sluggishness after a long or stressful flight, and she finally admitted to me that she wasn't a total stranger to enemas. But to be fair, the enemas that Charlotte was familiar with were the Fleet enemas and she said that the enemas I give her are nothing like or even close to what she was expecting. For a while there I wasn't sure she liked them or was just humoring me because we have this sexual arrangement between us. It's not purely sexual because we really do care about each other and our “goals” or reasons for having sex with someone not our spouse differ.

Beth Anne's and my marriage was opened by both of us for the purpose of our “sexploration” to help us in our marriage. We both were a little naive to think that we could just have sex with other people and not have feelings for the ones we were having sex with. I have to admit that I'm probably more prone to forming an emotional attachment with the woman I'm having sex with than Beth Anne is. I felt something deep for @Lora_C when she was here and she was more than just someone to have sex with and do kinky things together. And the same with @gibby and how she is someone very special and how I'm lucky to know her in all ways. It's no different with Charlotte although Charlotte is outside of Beth Anne's and my “little sexual circle” and Beth Anne doesn't have that much knowledge about Charlotte other than what she has through prior, limited, meetings. Beth Anne's @Cedar falls into the same category as Charlotte where I'm concerned. I know him by sight, have spoken to him, briefly and in passing but not to strike up a conversation with him over a beer or something. Just as a note, this @Cedar isn't someone I'd underestimate.

I have to admit, that sometimes it is a little difficult for me to read about Beth Anne having sex with him. They write about it “out there” for everyone to read and it is very obvious to me that Beth Anne “welcomes” Cedar's touch and company. I can see that when I read about them and I feel like Beth Anne may be at a disadvantage or not properly reciprocated by me in being just as open and honest with her about my feelings for Charlotte. Beth Anne's relationship with Cedar really does benefit our marriage in that she is far more open with expressing herself with me as to what she wants and expects. I am predicting that tonight she is going to lay down the law to me and want to know about Charlotte and whether or not she is just someone I have sex with when I'm away from home. Beth Anne is home, by the way.

Part of what I am going to answer Beth Anne is something she has discovered, enemas do tend to form a bond between two people. I see it when she writes, but she can't see it between me and Charlotte because, well, I'm not good at writing. There is also another benefit with our “sexploration” and maybe some of you have noticed, but Beth Anne has or is becoming more comfortable with using the word “fuck”. She wants to fuck me tonight after the delivery and then I'm going to be opening up to her about Charlotte and her enemas and where we stand.

@Night_Pilot please say the 40 OR 45 years is a typo. Not knowing exactly how long you have been with such a woman as @Ms_Lila is a serious crime. Onrn that she will find a way to collect on; in her own special way. Beware of @Ms_Lila ‘s use of the word “fuck”. What she has in mind may be you on the receiving end of her strapon tonight. And @Night_Pilot , two months between posts is not acceptable; it forces us to relie on only one side of the story. So while you deal with @Ms_Lila and her ’cum lust';

The world awaits…

It's only been 51 days.

No @tommyqwerty we both are not certain as to whether to count 40 or 45 years as to our knowing each other. We for sure began moving towards our relationship as it is now, 40 years ago but 45 years ago I first saw him in school. We lost track of each other when we went to different universities and such so we don't know whether to count that or not. No matter. ❤️

Years together count for something, but what really counts is where you are right now and how you will manage “right now”.

I have to admit, that sometimes it is a little difficult for me to read about Beth Anne having sex with him. They write about it “out there” for everyone to read and it is very obvious to me that Beth Anne “welcomes” Cedar's touch and company.

When I first came to zity, I remember reading about yours and @Ms_Lila's sexual circle and if I remember right it included a couple named, Ruthie and Dave. What caused them to not be in the circle anymore? Were the emotional attachments becoming too strong? I read that both you and Ms Lila and Tom and @Lora_C more or less “voted them off the island” and I wasn't too sure why? Of course it is well known that Lora and Cedar were very involved with each other and how much of that did you know as you became involved with Lora?

When you read about @Cedar and your wife, what is difficult about it? Do you have the same feelings or level of connection with Charlotte as Cedar and Ms Lila seem to have? What made you open to both you and Ms Lila to go outside of the circle or let someone in who was from outside? Is Charlotte the only “outsider” you have? I know that @gibby and her husband were part of the circle to begin with, so how does all of this work?

I read that both you and Ms Lila and Tom and @Lora_C more or less “voted them off the island” and I wasn't too sure why?

@Meat_Monster … I can answer that about why Ruthie and Dave were … voted off of the island. Dave would keep going by either Lora's or Lila's and have sex with them … usually anal … and that was about all he was interested in. Ruthie did not either allow … or be available to their husbands … @Night_Pilot or Tom … so that they could indulge in a little quid pro quo. It was becoming one sided and pretty obvious that all Dave really wanted was to have anal sex and not be part of the larger picture. That and Ruthie and Dave found themselves in another more … upscale 🙄 … circle of friends and so Lora basically said … fuck that shit. She told me after the … break up … that if she was going to put out for Dave … that Ruthie had better be willing to do the same. So … Beth Anne and Lora dropped the mic and walked away taking their asses with them. 😁 😁 😁

It was becoming one sided and pretty obvious that all Dave really wanted was to have anal sex and not be part of the larger picture. That and Ruthie and Dave found themselves in another more … upscale 🙄 … circle of friends and so Lora basically said … fuck that shit. She told me after the … break up … that if she was going to put out for Dave … that Ruthie had better be willing to do the same. So … Beth Anne and Lora dropped the mic and walked away taking their asses with them. 😁 😁 😁

More upscale group of friends? That could not be possible! There could never be more upscale friends than @LoraC and her Tom were, or @Ms_Lila and @Night_Pilot , or of you @gibby and your hubby! Nope! Not possible! Those other two obviously do not know what upscale really is!!

Fn

@Meat_Monster it was also very obvious to @Lora_C and I that Dave was only interested in dropping by for a quick bit of anal sex and then setting off on his merry way. He wasn't much of one for staying about to enjoy an enema with either of us or having a nice visit before or after the sex. He was all about sex and she was all about her and it just wasn't working for either Lora or myself.

Our little circle wasn't set in stone and solely for the purpose of sex, but it was social and based on relationships and caring for the one we were with. ❤️ Lora and I both knew of a young man we felt very strongly about that we've ‘had’ and she loved it as do I. 🌹 He's a nice fellow and not one of those who just drop by for a quick go at our bums and then disappear in the next instant and he's there for other things and not just the sex. 😉 Had Lora lived I've no doubt that this young man would have become even closer. 😃 I'll not be turning him away. 😉 It does not have to be a reciprocal arrangement either.

When you read about @Cedar and your wife, what is difficult about it? Do you have the same feelings or level of connection with Charlotte as Cedar and Ms Lila seem to have?

Our little circle wasn't set in stone and solely for the purpose of sex, but it was social and based on relationships and caring for the one we were with. ❤️

@Meat_Monster you must have had @Dahiana telling you what to write because you have got it down right. It is difficult to read about @Ms_Lila responding the way she does to him and him responding in kind. I am working this out in my mind and how to write it so give me some room for error as I try to work this through in my mind. I am also relieved in a way that Beth Anne isn't just out there having sex to be having sex and in a way that is comforting to me. If she was just picking out some random or casual acquaintance to have sex with just to be having sex, then I think I would have more to worry about. But she is not and her writing about Ruthie and Dave being “voted off the island” said a lot, to me anyway.

I really do care for Charlotte as a person and she is not just some little tryst off in the wild blue yonder. She is smart and funny and knows a lot more about life than just geology and tectonic plates or mineral deposits. She's articulate and well read and reminds me a lot of Beth Anne except that she isn't Beth Anne. For the most part our sex is fairly vanilla but very rewarding on every level. We do a lot of looking into each others eyes and it isn't just do the sex, have the orgasm, and roll over and go to sleep. She will go down on me but it's not what we desire the most from each other. She does perform oral sex on her husband frequently because he has medical issues where he can't sustain an erection. But she loves him dearly and he gave her his blessing when it came to the two of us. We both know that if either of our spouses says they don't want us to have sex with each other that would be it.

Beth Anne and I don't have a lot of oral sex with each other because we can have “regular” sex and there are no issues we have to deal with. Beth Anne is very anally erotic and has really blossomed since we started using enemas as part of our sex play. I will let her give me an enema but it is not something that happens that frequently with her giving to me. If I had to guess I'd say that I probably give her 20 enemas to every one that she gives me and she is good with that. I love giving enemas to Beth Anne because it is just one more thing I get to do that involves something she likes and I like doing. Charlotte has used enemas in the past, the Fleet kind, for long flights like I mentioned earlier. But I talked her into trying a bag enema and while she didn't mind the experience I don't think she was all that impressed with it. That didn't stop her from letting me give her a few more so she could get a better feel for them and she saw that I liked giving them to her.

Since that time of her initial enemas Charlotte has indulged me in giving her a few here and there and we've even had sex a few times where she has the enema bag connected to her and we are making love. She's curious and we've made a deal that we will try anything the other wants to try at least three times before deciding one of us doesn't want to do that. Enemas are something that she tells me she is getting accustomed to and liking them when we have sex play and cuddle.

Charlotte knows that I like to see her in the nude and when we are alone either I will take her clothes off or she will take them off for me. We do a lot of touching and kissing and holding each other and we have very few secrets from each other. I've told her about how Beth Anne and I like to play really rough sometimes and that I sometimes leave marks that last for days. Charlotte would be interested in something like that but doesn't think her husband would appreciate me bruising her like I sometimes do with Beth Anne. I get that and so that is not something I am going to push her to do although she sure doesn't mind it when we are having anal sex and I pull her hair. She also likes to have her nipples twisted a little too and we go right up to the edge sometimes.

Charlotte isn't just someone I fuck when I am away from home just to have someone to have sex with. I really have a lot of respect and affection for her and we have each others backs. If I wasn't friends with Charlotte I wouldn't be having sex with anyone else, except @gibby when she is in town. 😉

My wife @Ms_Lila and I have stepped up our “sexploration” by adding or more readily incorporating BDSM into our sex play. She loves spanking and nipple torture and exploring other aspects of pain and pleasure. I am by no means close to being competent in BDSM and only know about what the initials stand for and that there is an element of D/s. In reality what I wrote contains most of what I know about the subject.

I wrote this to explain and perhaps apologize to my wife for the severe pain I inflicted upon her last night when I returned home. As on another post, Beth Anne explained or posited her “hyper sexuality” episodes and the depression that follows once she has satisfied that urge or need in her. These past few days have seen her particularly “hyper sexual” to the point where she drove home from work in the nude during the early morning hours when there wasn't any traffic. I believe that she calculated the risk and took care in knowing how our little town “cycles” and felt that the risk was minimal.

So last night when I got home I found her in a very heightened state of arousal and got caught up in it. This was not to her benefit nor to my credit or testament to my, basically, knowing what I was doing. I did not. As a result I inflicted some amount of soft tissue injury and deep bruising to my wife's body and her tender breasts and nipples. I won't give you the excuse that her urging me on and showing signs of sexual satisfaction on her part made me feel that she could “take it.” As far into that scene that we got last night, I don't believe it was appropriate or safe for her to make that call. I should have known this and acted accordingly. I did not. I should have known from this post by my beloved wife https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1167909.

It is going to take some time for her bruises to heal and for us to restore our confidence in the other to look out for us when we play that close to the danger zone. I got caught up in what she refers to as the “cum lust mist” and I should have made it about her at that moment and waited and watched to keep her safe and at the forefront of my purpose for being there with her. I did not. I hurt her.

It will not happen again. I, when possible, will be seeking out materials here on zity.biz preferably to educate myself on what it takes to be the D in the D/s. Even that I am not sure of the correct term for the dominate one. So if those of you on this site receive a PM from me regarding D/s or BDSM and how to do it safely and make it enjoyable, bear with me. Just know that I am not here all of the time and if you answer or send me a PM I may not see it until much later.

I did not do right by @Ms_Lila.

Now worries my Love ❤️ and it's nothing but some good old fashioned library research and practical application can't get us to where we want to be. I share in the responsibility for the lovely colours appearing on my backside 😉 but at the time the orgasms I was experiencing were intoxicating. 😳 Some cool towels for my bum along with refrigerated lube shooters and liberal applications of ice in my bum via the sport water bottle ice cubes and I'll be right as rain in no time.

I was so very into the scene last night 🥵 and the pleasure signals all but obliterated those signals of pain I should have heeded. All is good and we shall research and put into practice what we learn. 😉

In a week or two. 😁 😁 😁

@Night_Pilot a humbling, honest confession about you actions with @Ms_Lila . Reading @Ms_Lila response as I type this, i sounds as if you both have good ideas to expand your education; and enhance your experiences.

The world looks forward to hearing more…

There is much to be said for vanilla sex with a man that you adore and who has been there for you in the good times and the bad. ❤️ This morning I felt his ‘presence’ 😘 and his hand cupping my breast as we spooned in those times between wakefulness and slumber. Then a kiss on the nape of my neck and I feel myself begin to widen and moisten for this man's penis to have his rightful place in my vagina. ❤️ His feel, his touch, and I felt that he was deciding as to how to take me this time and then I felt his body move behind me and his movements told me that he wanted to have me face to face. ❤️

We've done this ‘dance’ many many times and I felt him ready himself between my legs that I had parted for him, once again, ❤️ and we aligned our bodies for our joining. ❤️

It is so right with this man. ❤️

Edge play is fun if you’re bent in that direction but there aren’t a ton of instruction manuals out there and some of the so-called experts aren’t. Having wound up in urgent care from a ‘sports injury’ I feel your pain. Literally. I asked my husband to chime in with any advice and his single biggest suggestion is for @Night_Pilot “don’t try and do too much when you’re super horny”. Take the edge off first with milder sex before breaking out the implements of torture. It’s easier to say ‘slow down’ when at least 1 of you is semi in control. Tops really shouldnt let themselves succumb.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it. 😁😉

My Lady told me other day to try edge play……i think is really fun, to be almost orgasming and she say STOP….. than start again….. and i think when having sex, is really good and we man can last more than women expect……🌹

Za

That’s ‘edging’. When I mean edge play I’m talking about sex play that can leave you actually injured Like heavy impact play, sharps play, some forms of bondage, breath play etc. MedFet is edge play as you can seriously injure someone if you don’t know what you’re doing.

@Nurse_Phillips that post of mine just prove if we don't know what we are doing bad things can happen.

Thank you for the explanation,🌹

Za

As this is @Night_Pilot's thread I will let him give the details if and when 🙄 he ‘finds’ the time to write about what we are learning or deciding. When my bum heals entirely and we've done some more ‘research’ we have discussed several scenarios we would like to play out. 😈 ‘Taking the edge off’ is certainly something we will do, but we are interested in his ‘playing’ a warden or enforcer whose job it is to mete out punishment without emotion and with detachment. We believe this would have him in more of an ‘observer’ role and be part of that role to ensure that my ‘punishment’ doesn't go beyond what the ‘law allowed or demanded’ and that I be left fit to continue as the evil empire's sex slave or concubine under his strict supervision.

I love the pain. 😈 But the real possibility of permanent marks and disfigurement as well as deep tissue damage and extended time to recuperate is something entirely too real. We have decided that the horse quirt left welt marks and almost broke the skin which could have lead to scarring. We are looking to other instruments of pain and pleasure and we've the time to look as it will most likely be a month for my body to fully recover and mend.

I probably should have posted this on my ‘Enemas? Really?’ but this is more than likely the best place for this discussion. I adore this man ❤️ but we are such novices to this D/s and corporal punishment and we ‘flat over did it’. But by that I mean only that I could have had scarring and we don't want that however the pain was fantastic! 🤯 😳 🥵

We have decided that the horse quirt left welt marks and almost broke the skin which could have lead to scarring.

You might try putting on an old-fashioned girdle before the punishment (part of the scene?). I have read several places that it helps prevent scarring and bruising, while letting ALL the pain through…

There are several here with experience on safely warming a bottom.

We erred on the side of caution with my late partner and used the prior session as a gauge for the next one. That girl loved a hot ass. It is easy to go too far though.

I like an elk flogger to safely get in all the nooks and crannies. A flick on a clit or bung can certainly get someone's attention and not leave any marks.

I’m partial to deerskin myself. If you want to go with a solid try a wider paddle to start. A quirt can do real damage if you’re not careful. You’re going to have to learn as you go on what causes damage - how hard, how many. When you think you’ve gone far enough you’re already very likely further than you want to go

One of the moderators here made me a leather paddle about 10 years ago that really nicely warmed a bottom. Leather is always an option too.

@Night_Pilot

Try all implements on yourself, usually the thigh works best to gauge pain. Always have a safe word, easily use the stop light method. Green , all good , yellow slow down pause check on sub, red all play STOPS! If using a crop, flogger, paddle, practice on yourself, refine your technique. Buy quality implements, many online companies out there. Elk, Deer skin is very nice, experiment and have fun. Communication and trust.

🐾

In other words @Night_Pilot you'll have to ignore it when I scream out 😝 😜 🤪 ‘OH FUCK YES! HARDER! FASTER! MORE! MORE! MORE!’ 🥵 🥶 😱 when I am in the midst of a cum lust frenzy.

I know not very lady like. 😔