But enemas he receives that are just for the enema are very calming and relaxing for him. They can take him from a bad mood to a better mood. They can help connect us in a way that is different than enemas and sex. Because neither of us is trying to sexually perform. We are just there together...
Before I even knew of my husband's enemas, he would sometimes get into really dark moods and got pissed off easily. I knew this was because of his PTSD and his TBI but it was made worse by the endless surgeries he had to go through to "get rid of the past". He was aware that the dark moods he was getting into or his short temper were probably all on his end so he would disappear into the shop and I didn't follow unless I was afraid that something happened. In an hour or two he would come back into the house and was a lot more calm and collected and we would put the kids to bed and if he wanted, we would talk or have sex or both. Some of the times he would really get into a dark mood would scare me, not for me or the kids, but for him and his trips out to the shop would help him.
There were sometimes after some of his surgeries that he would really need to have an enema because of whatever and he needed help with getting them because of the pins or his mobility at the time. He would be in a dark mood but when I helped him with one of the enemas I noticed that he would relax and I would give them to him slowly and rub his muscles, which he has tons of, and he would come out of the bad mood. I didn't have a clue, really, what the enemas meant to him and just figured it was because of the surgery. We only did them until his regular bowel rhythms came back and, knowing what I know now, his moods would tend to start swinging again. Then he would go out to the shop and when he came back, he was a whole different guy. They guy I knew and fell in love with in school. 🌹
More surgeries and more enemas and I started to notice that sometimes he would get an erection when I was giving him an enema. He tried to hide it and, well, that shit wasn't going to fly with me 😈 and so I would try to get him off by hand. That was not the best plan because of the pins or torsion rigs and so I learned how to give him a blow job. Giving him an enema and a blow job relaxed the hell out of him, literally, and I had a feeling I was missing the big picture so, fuck it, I hauled off and asked him if my sucking his cock was what brought him out of his cheap shit? He said that it helped a lot and I could hear that, "but", in his tone and so, enema + erection = WTF? He wouldn't tell me a couple of times but a couple of enemas and blow jobs and I knew when to time my questions. Only I didn't make it a question and I just flat out told him that I know enemas turn him on and how the fuck long was this the way?
I'll never forget the look on his face when he finally came clean and even then, it took a little while to have him reveal his hidden stash in the shop at the back in behind his office. It was like some fucking weight was lifted off of him and his black ass moods and short temper flares almost disappeared over night and a lot faster than those bullshit VA shrinks, the civilian ones, ever achieved. Black mood? An enema and a blow job and he was back to being that big meat monster I know and love. 🌹 Getting a little cranky, Big Guy? Strip and I will make you a BJ & E. 😈 And it really is a head trip having a big monster like him totally under my control and me giving him an enema, which he loved, and also a blow job. And the best part is afterwards when he talks and I learned how to keep my mouth shut.
The enemas were the key for him and me knowing his secret helped us a lot. Still, it didn't ease the stigma of his enema love in his mind and he thought he was a freak. He tried to explain them to me but finally had enough of my cheap shit and bingo, I'm getting stripped and being given an enema. I was like, "you like this?" 😮 Wrong thing to say and so I told him I would probably need a few more done the right way in the right setting to get the full effect. That saved that from my dumb ass remark and I became the first woman he ever gave an enema to. 🌹 And the sex was out of this world.
BUT as time goes by, I, we, are getting to the point that an enema for just having some alone time and relaxing is a good thing all by itself. It's a good way for one of us to just offer up our ass to the other so we can say what's on our minds and in our hearts. Eventually my husband found out that he wasn't the only one who likes enemas, and when he found out Mom did them too, he didn't feel like a freak anymore. But now that she is gone and also my Dad, I'm the one who needs an enema and an ear to bend and there is my husband willing to do both. The thing is that he feels like he needs to fix things for me and there are some things you just can't fix. It's ok to give me an enema and let me talk, I won't expect and don't expect, you to fix it, just be there and hold me in your big fucking arms and let that enema you are giving me help us just be. 🌹
I've written this love letter to my meat monster while I've taken this enema in the middle of the day while he deals with our little crumb crunching commandos who got on my last fucking nerve but now will live to see another day because mom got to enjoy a peaceful, quiet enema. Yeah, I like this. 🌹