Like a lot of folks here, I haven't been able to come up with a definitive answer as to what drives my love of diapers . It goes back as far as my memory goes. Without a doubt if blossomed with puberty though. So I have to say sexuality is deeply involved.
For me, it's obsessive/compulsive behavior at best and addictive at worst. There's something about the whole diaper scene that is in me that I just can't control. It has a hold on me like a moth drawn to a flame. Lord knows I've tried to give it up. All I can say is I get moderate to extreme anxiety when I go without my diaper fix. It took me decades to finally accept it as part of me. I still don't accept it to where I live with it happily all the time (but most of the time I do lol).
Since I've retired, I wear almost 24/7. Taking a break from wearing them during the daytime occasionally. At times I won't wet them during the day and rarely I'll be dry at night. Other than that it's full on total disregard for bladder control.
That brings me to what really motivates me. In a word everything about them. Plastic pants are a must and the feel of them on a diaper is something that I cant get enough of. The thick bulk of a cloth diaper is there too. If I'm out in there public the thickness of my diapers keep them in my mind constantly. It gives me thrill wondering if I'm truly hiding my diapers or am I being discovered. I love the quiet rustle diapers and waterproof pants make. It tells the world "hey look, I'm wearing diapers".
The whole diaper thing for me is deeply rooted in a vein of humiliation. The idea of needing diapers is absolutely shaming in our culture. That naughty feeling I get knowing I'm in diapers and that they will be wet before they come off is absolutely thrilling and humiliating at the same time. Of course that ultimate high point comes when I cant hold off any longer and flood my diaper. Sometimes the sudden soaking and surprising hotness is enough to almost make me pass out. There's that brief panic that I might have wet so much that my diaper leaks. Especially if I'm out in public. Followed by the uncomfortable feeling of extreme wetness. Minutes later it fades into such a nice warm dampness as my diaper wicks up my accident. It all creates fertile ground for my fantasies.
The final motivation without a doubt is when I can't bear the urges this all creates and I need to relieve the pressures. A pair of plastic pants I pull on inside my soaked diaper soon gets vey wet and slippery. My diaper is showing beneath my plastic pants on the outside and by this time has created little beads of wetness on the inside of my plastic pants. I'll sit and feel my wet outfit enjoying the cool plastic and the pee scented bulk tightly pinned on me. Soon, I cant leave my diaper alone and begin to play with it. Inside those plastic pants are a soaking wet heaven. Every slight movement sends a rush thru me. I play with my diaper till I lose control even while trying to stop it. That 's the best part. When I lose it I realize I have no control over my ability to hold back my orgasm. I wet my diaper just like a toddler. As my diaper gets even wetter, that shame of being a wetter and needing diapers overwhelms me and I realize I'll be in diapers forever.