Shimmers terrible, horrible, no good very bad Enema :
So I may have made a mistake you guys. I was in the mood the other day for a nice, crampy enema that would be intense but obviously not damaging. I decided on lemon juice, only to realize after undressing and setting up I didn't actually have any. What I did have was citric acid powder for making bath bombs. I kind of reasoned to myself that this was the same thing but I'll be up front, I was kind horny and wasn't thinking straight.
So in my time of "I should probably rub one out then assess and reconsider" I decide that two tablespoons per quart sounds like a pretty reasonable amount. I've never actually sat down and figured out how much citric acid powder would equate to the amount of same in a single medium sized lemon. I got the strong feeling afterwards that it is less than that.
So I actually get set up with my gallon bag about half full, which is usually a good warm-up for me. About a second after I unclip the hose the words that come to mind were "IMMEDIATE" and "INTENSE". Cramping, burning, twisting guts that made me break into a sweat. I like my flow pretty fast so I kind of tried to talk myself down that it was normal cramping because I hadn't taken one in a while and that I just needed to wait it out and it would get better.
It did not.
After most of the two quarts I had MORE than enough and seriously launched myself onto the toilet; it was bad. The stinging continued on the way back out and this weird burning sensation crept up my shoulders like a pair of wings unfurling. As I'm pushing like mad trying to get it all out of me the heat in my shoulders subsides and instead I feel a strange cold starting to seep over my legs.
I really thought this was it you guys, I thought this is how it ends. I am dying right now and this is how they are going to find me God I hope they don't tell my mom. I did not die, and looking back now I feel like at least some of my responses were psychosomatic. I have no interest in repeating it to find out which ones ???
Moral of the story, probably don't try new stuff in the heat of the moment and ideally do some research with new recipes.