I had a medical yesterday. I had booked it two months earlier, partly for practical reasons and partly to enjoy (?) a long build-up to the event, while knowing it would be unlikely to work out the way I wanted it to. I bought new Jockey briefs that would be worn for the first time on The Day. I elicited on here other men’s experiences of medical check-ups in the UK and read any accounts I could find of male physicals conducted by male doctors. The private practice had an online form for first time patients to complete and I made sure to note a minor irritation of the penis that I occasionally get.
The medical was only partially satisfactory from a med fet point of view, which of course is a million miles away from the medic’s point of view.
The doctor was very jovial and easy to talk to, and we spent a good half hour just talking. He pointed out that he did not routinely do genital or rectal exams unless the patient actually had complained of symptoms, so I was glad I had mentioned the minor dick annoyance. I began to get rather impatient to be asked to get undressed down to my underpants, but when we came to the physical exam, I was asked just to take off my shirt. So, he looked in my eyes, mouth and ears, examined my neck, back and chest with the stethoscope, palpated my abdomen, and tested my reflexes with my trousers, socks and shoes still on. I felt over-dressed, really wanted to be asked to take them all off. When it appeared to be drawing to a close, I reminded him of the penis thing. (a minor annoyance which I stated was a minor annoyance – didn’t want to over-dramatise it.) ‘We’ll have a look at your John Thomas’ he said, so I undid my trousers and slid them and my underpants to mid-thigh. He palpated my dick, said he couldn’t feel anything, and then suggested he could do a DRE while we were at it. Oddly he asked me to pull up my underpants while he described the DRE purpose and procedure. I would have felt no embarrassment about lying there naked from the thighs up while he did this, but I wondered if there is some agreement among doctors now to keep patients covered up at all times. (If so, stop it!) So then I was asked to roll over onto to my left side, let my underpants down again and he stuck a gloved finger up my hairy arse. This was the third DRE of my life and like the earlier ones, briefly quite painful. I’ve never been able to take a cock up there for the same reason.
Anyway, I was pronounced pretty fit and well and left pleased with that diagnosis. I had had to take my shirt off, did manage to get my cock, balls and arse exposed but my personal fantasy scenario was only partially fulfilled. What I need is a retired army medic, a man who has spent his career examining males and would scorn the idea of preservation of modesty. (‘What have you got that other men haven’t?’) On the contrary, you walk over to the far corner so he can check your gait, remove your underpants completely, then walk back to the centre of the room with your underpants in your hand for the very thorough genital exam. The DRE involves bending over from standing while holding your own buttocks apart to expose your hairy channel. Seems this is not to be had anywhere any more, unfortunately. Unless someone knows something I don't.