Is a boy ever too old to have his mom sit in?

My mother was with me till 13. Beyond that option should be given. Say exam down to genitalia or levels of undressing. There has to be a balance of safety for the child as well.

I never felt that I was too old. I liked having my mother in there with me to watch my exam and mostly to interface with the doctor. She was much better at answering his questions, especially about family history, than I was. Her seeing me nude in the doctor's office did not bother me. She came to all of my physical exams up through my physical the summer before senior year of high school. Many of my friends back then also had their mothers sitting in on their exams.

Is is obviously depending on boys to be comfortable or not with the presence of their mothers in an examination room with a doctor at least now, while in the past, it was considered as perfectly normal.

Like it is said in a message, it was not uncommon, it happened in a lot of families, and it was the mothers who were in charge of caring about the health of her sons, much more often than fathers.

It was also admitted that boys might not be too shy, and group physicals could happen sometimes at schools and for sports or summer camps and apprenticeship, and of course to check the fitness at draftees at military service when there was still one in many countries.

If now it is difficult to believe it, some group exams were certainly performed without any privacy for boys and wihout respect of their dignity and possibly in presence of women, even young ones, as secretaries or nurses or assistants. Before 18 age and even sometimes 20 age, boys were supposed to comply to rules and to be not modest about nudity.

In the States, during a lot of years, nobody complained about the rule of swimming in the nude at swimming lessons and practice swimming in a team.

It seems so casual that it was not questioned.

It was the same sometimes at sport physical or regular school physicals.

Was it wrong ?, I don't think so, it was certainly better than today even if some boys were embarrassed , they would get over it very soon and they were not traumatised

Many of my friends back then also had their mothers sitting in on their exams.

@Tighty_Whiteis_Now How many friends did you compare notes with? I only had one friend bring it up, and until then I assumed my exams with my mom present were normal. But he had recently transferred in from a big city in another state, and while everything he said sounded normal to me, he was shocked, as he'd not been treated like that at the doctor for over 5 years. The only thing that makes me think it was common is that I'm sure he would have told me if he checked wth our other friends, and they said his exam was unusual.

The other thing I wonder is whether his mom was as surprised as he was when the doctor pulled down his undies, or if she knew ahead of time that she would finally get to see him naked at 15, for the first time since he was 10.

@Tighty_Whiteis_Now How many friends did you compare notes with? I only had one friend bring it up, and until then I assumed my exams with my mom present were normal.

Well it was a very long time ago so I cannot say how many exactly but it was a common topic of discussion over the summer months when most of us got our physical exams for school. Common enough that we knew that Dr. X let you keep your underpants on for most of the exam but Dr. Y had you nude from the start. And no one went to the doctor alone before the age of 16 so that must have been a state regulation at the time.

I doubt that a mother who had accompanied a son of 15 age to see a doctor did not expect that her son was undressed at least in underwear and possibly naked completely or with underwears pulled down until ankles since it was logical that a doctor checked the genitals of a teenager at least one time by year ?

But she could always look away if she was embarrrassed or if she did not want to increase the embarrassment of her son, it was in fact depending on the feeling she had about nudity, if she ws used or not ( for instance in the bzthroom !) and the reason of the exam and the comments of the doctor, if he or she found something whih might be noticed, during the inspection of genitals, a mother would normally look also at the genitals of her son.

As regards the exposure of the naked butt of a son, I believe that it was not the same, it was not considered as embarrassing for a boy to expose his butt to his mother since she did rectal temperatures until pre-teen age very often or was changing in her presence by back frequently .

no one went to the doctor alone before the age of 16 so that must have been a state regulation at the time.

We were in Tennessee, where I'm certain there would have been no such law, as it was a fairly low-regulation state. So I'm guessing it was more simply common practice for boys' moms to be present under the age of 16. My friend was from New Orleans, and he said his annual exams had been with a doctor at a large hospital complex, so that was one huge difference with our little suburban pediatrician's office. He also said his mom had started to stay in the waiting room once he was 10 or 11. So while he was used to having a genital exam, he had been used to not having to get undressed down to his undies from the start, and certainly used to his mom not being there for the whole thing.

He was basically whispering all this stuff to me, because he found it so scandalous. But everything he said sounded normal. Mom being in the room for the exam? Check. Having to take off everything except underpants from the very beginning? Check. Then the "you're not gong to believe this" part, "and he just pulled my underpants down right in front of my mom." To which I just said, "uh huh, and then what" and he was incredulous, and asked, "so your mom sees your dick all the time still?" And I said, "not at home of course, but yeah, at the doctor every year." He looked at me lke I was crazy and said, "before yesterday, my mom hadn't seen my dick since I was 10." It was so strange to me, I said, "you'd not gone to a doctor check up since you were 10?" It just seemed like a non negotiable to me that all doctors showed all boys' penises to their moms every year. Going in to the exam alone, or asking the mom to step out at the end were such foreign ideas to me. It never would have occurred to me to ask for that even in puberty.

Sort of the boiling the frog by slowly raising the temperature analogy. I was used to it, so I let it happen. Of course I was not yet fully developed when he was asking me these things, but I know he was, so that must have been a big change for his mom too. It wasn't until a year later that my mom got to see me fully developed, too, but it just seemed normal to me.

Then the "you're not gong to believe this" part, "and he just pulled my underpants down right in front of my mom." To which I just said, "uh huh, and then what" and he was incredulous, and asked, "so your mom sees your dick all the time still?" And I said, "not at home of course, but yeah, at the doctor every year."

I have a friend, much younger than I, early 30s now, who told me when he was in college that his mother, and often his father, always sat in on his physical exams. I asked him if it wasn't embarrassing having to let his mom see him nude his response was priceless. "No, why would it be, she's my mom. Besides, she's a nurse, she's seen lots of dicks."

It is a matter of what you get used to, I guess.

I was seeing an orthopedic surgeon a LOT as a kid (I was severely knock-kneed) which lead up to a pair of tibial osteotomies when I was 18 and 19. My parents always went with me to appointments with him, even after I turned 18.

I think that it was perfectly normal that your parents came with you to see a surgeon for such an issue

Mine would have done the same if I have had the same issue as a young man, at same age than you

When a son has something very serious, if his parents are loving him and think that they are still responsible for his health and care about his fitness, no matter if it is only the mother, only the father or both the two parents, it is important to accompagny a son and to hear what says the surgeon

I was ill with high fever at 21 age and my mother came with me without asking at me if I agree with her presence, it could not be questioned for her, the doctor performed a thorough exam because he did not know immediately why I was ill, and it included an inspection of my genitals, normally since I was older than 14 or 16 age, when a doctor did that inspection which was not frequent, she looked away but not that day, even at 21 age, she was watching to be sure that I had nothing wrong !

Times have certainly changed. I was born in 1967, so I remember the '70s and '80s, and back then going to the pediatrician was much different, than I imagine today. Since I don't have kids, I don't know what happens when you take your child to a pediatrician.

From the women I know who have kids, the doctor doesn't undress the child nor check their genitals, once the child reaches puberty, the genitals are checked once without the parent in the exam room. If it is a sports physical, the Doctor normally goes to the school and does the exam, or the parent has the option to bring the child to the office for a sports exam, but the parent is not in the exam room.

Back in my day, nudity seemed to be common. Everyone I knew walked around their home in undies. For the boys it was undies (tightly whities) and a T-shirt and for girls a T-shirt and panties. This was common from the time you were an infant to teenagers and adults. Nobody thought it was creepy. We just did it without being embarrassed. Boys and Girls would hang out in their undies and sleep in their undies as teenagers, and some even nude.

When you went to the doctor's office, a parent would be in the exam room, and the nurse would have you undress to your white undies (hanes for FTL). No matter the reason why you were there, the doctor would always examine your genitals. For me it was embarrassing because my penis was sensitive, while sitting and waiting for the doc, I would start getting an erection and during the exam, my penis would be erect and when it was time to examine my penis, the doctor seemed to take a long time. As my penis would be exposed, throbbing and me being nervous my mother would watch since the exam rooms were small and she had a clear view of the doctor taking out the tanner stages, palpating the shaft of my penis as he would hold the base and feeling my frenulum which always made me ejaculate.

Many of the boys and girls that had the same doctor, had similar stories of this certain doctor and when I told my mother I felt uncomfortable, she just told me that is what doctors do. To me it was normal, but I didn't like it. He also gave my mother brochures about male puberty and growth in teen boys. But after that, everything changed, were I had to wear my undies around the house and to sleep in, plus I was placed in this "growth & development" study that I had to go to the doctor every 90 days for him to examine my development which I didn't understand. Then my mother would perform home inspections on me as well and during the development exams, she would tell the doctor and give him an update on my progress which I questioned and didn't understand. Several boys in my town had very similar experiences with the same doctor and his procedures.

Back then, parents and attitudes are much different. Nobody got arrested, nobody claimed child abuse and things were done by this doctor that was so unethical that he never got into trouble.

I read this as asking from the boy's point of view. In that case, as long as he's comfortable with it, there's no age at which it would be inappropriate for his mom to sit in on his exams, including in adulthood.

Otoh, if the question is 'is there an age at which the mom should not **insist** on being in the room, that's a different answer. That 'moms like to sit in on their children's exam' is irrelevant. It's not a show for mom's entertainment.

@koan Why do you think they were home schooled?

I have the impression that home-schooling parents feel and act more possessive about their kids, that they wish to keep them close and not let them into situations where the parents have no control over them.

Just as they don't wish to 'surrender' their kids over to the authority of a school, they don't wish to not be included in all aspects of their health care and exams.

There is probably an element of mistrust involved as well towards the outside world. Anything to do with an outside authority is viewed with suspicion. They wish to create a carefully maintained and closed social world around their kids and family.

That could be why the mom was miffed about being excluded. She had temporarily lost control over what happened to their kids. A minor incident of course, but telling about the amount of distrust they see in the outside world.

Why do you think they were home schooled?

In any case, posting that is type of thing is for the mom's benefit, not the kid's.

The family with the late bloomer travels a lot. During the school year. Lots of educational toy reviews too. Just a feeling I get. It's not stated anywhere.

As for the benefit, when the late bloomer has his own kid with a constitutional delay, and the doctor asks whether he was a late bloomer, then, unlike his dad, he will have a good answer and video evidence to share with the doctor and with his son who likely is worried he never will catch up.

When the same happened to me, and my dad couldn't remember, but the doctor insisted at my exam at 14 that it was important to find out, my mom apparently arranged a sleep over for me at grandma's solely to let my grandma compare me at bathtime with what she remembered about my dad at that age. This kid's own kid will have an easier time if he is a late bloomer too.

But yeah posting it online is for the parents' benefit.

Growing up I was friends with one of the neighborhood boys. His name was Raymond. Raymond was home-schooled. Back then, I never heard of such a thing as homeschooling. Raymond's mother worked as a bartender during the nights and during the day she taught her son. It was just several hours per day and he had homework to do as well.

During the summer he was off from school like the rest of us, and it was very common for me to sleep over his house. He lived a few doors down from me so I would just walk to his house and hang out. I liked hanging out with him because he would hang out in his tight whities undies and we had the same pediatrician that he was in the same "growth & development" study as I was. We would talk about our experiences and his home inspections started when it came time for his mother to teach him about human sexuality. In High School, we did have health class and they did discuss and teach us about Human Sexuality. When Raymond turned 13, Raymond's mother took it to the next level, by having Raymond take off his undies, and she would examine his body while pointing out him his body growth and teaching him about puberty. Raymond explained that he would stand in front of his mother and she would inspect his armpits and tell him about the "birds & bees" and how babies are born and then while standing Raymond would have an erection, as his mother would continue explaining about what happens to a boys penis, she took his penis and stroked several times and he ejaculated.

Ater that day, Raymond would have daily inspections of his body from his mother as part of this "growth & development" study that our pediatrician had us in.

When Raymond turned 13, Raymond's mother took it to the next level, by having Raymond take off his undies, and she would examine his body while pointing out him his body growth and teaching him about puberty. Raymond explained that he would stand in front of his mother and she would inspect his armpits and tell him about the "birds & bees" and how babies are born and then while standing Raymond would have an erection, as his mother would continue explaining about what happens to a boys penis, she took his penis and stroked several times and he ejaculated.

Ater that day, Raymond would have daily inspections of his body from his mother as part of this "growth & development" study that our pediatrician had us in.

I have a notion that if any inspecting body had heard of that manner of conducting home-schooling, then there would be lots of explaining to do and hoping that nothing would leak into the newspapers/media ...

That said, it is a nice thought to fantasize about. Though I'd prefer an aunt instead of a mother ... 😃

My mother when with me to all my dr. appointments until i got my drivers license then i was on my own. she was good friends with the drs. wife so it didnt bother me that she was in the exam room.

That said, it is a nice thought to fantasize about. Though I'd prefer an aunt instead of a mother ... 😃

One wonders how she taught about the female anatomy. One of my favorite fantasies was to have an older woman show me her vulva and explain the names of all the parts (labia minora etc.)

Perhaps she used her own body as a teaching tool when explaining about female anatomy @Horace . Wouldn't surprise me seeing as she seemed to have no problem masturbating her son to ejaculation.

Sure glad my mother never home schooled me.

Sure glad my mother never home schooled me.

@LordJim2 Not so good with your own mother, but pretty hot with someone else's mother.

Absolutely yes. Anything over 11-12

Absolutely yes. Anything over 11-12

That is just absurd.

Why do you think they were home schooled?

It might be best to ask those who are or have homeschooled. Instead of making assumptions like...

....home-schooling parents feel and act more possessive

...'surrender' their kids over to the authority of a school,

...mistrust involved as well towards the outside world. Anything to do with an outside authority is viewed with suspicion. They wish to create a carefully maintained and closed social world around their kids and family.

Sorry to go off topic, but the option of using homeschooling is not as easy as some might think or imply. It isn't any less educational, with the right programs, than a school building based education.

*Steps off her soapbox

It might be best to ask those who are or have homeschooled. Instead of making assumptions like...Sorry to go off topic, but the option of using homeschooling is not as easy as some might think or imply. It isn't any less educational, with the right programs, than a school building based education.

*Steps off her soapbox

Thank you for stepping up on your soapbox. The assumptions of many are uninformed and incorrect.

I have known many home schooled students over the years. One family in particular stands out. The mother - a professional teacher - home schooled her five children up until high school. I knew them as high school students and they were:

1. Excellent students

2. Very well behaved

3. Very social and outgoing, participating in sports and extra curricular activities

4. Highly regarded by fellow students, faculty, and staff.

Staying on my soap box.

@Koan

I read this as asking from the boy's point of view. In that case, as long as he's comfortable with it, there's no age at which it would be inappropriate for his mom to sit in on his exams, including in adulthood.

Otoh, if the question is 'is there an age at which the mom should not **insist** on being in the room, that's a different answer... It's not a show for mom's entertainment.

1. Agreed.

2. So what is the different answer about her insisting?

3. Pretty sure my pediatrician thought it was. ;-)

@Koan 1. Agreed.

2. So what is the different answer about her insisting?

3. Pretty sure my pediatrician thought it was. ;-)

The mom should not insist on coming in at whatever age the boy asks to go in alone. She can speak with the doctor after the exam.

You're pretty sure your pediatrician thought what as what?

@Koan

It's not a show for mom's entertainment.

Pretty sure my pediatrician thought it was. ;-)

You're pretty sure your pediatrician thought what as what?

Well maybe not entertainment, but definitely his nurse had boys undressed to underwear from the start of the exam, and at the end, he kept my undies down longer than he really needed to examine me -- the whole time he was asking questions about nocturnal emissions and discussing my delayed puberty with her -- so I always assumed it was precisely to show my mom my (lack of and two-years-late) genital development. Even when I was 16 and clearly caught up development-wise to Tanner IV, such that he was talking to me instead of to her about when I had finally started ejaculating a few months earlier, he kept my undies down long enough for her to watch my penis stiffen and leak fluid from all the attention and conversation about it.

Moms talk. If one of them finds a doctor who honors their wishes, that news spreads, and more moms take their kids to that doctor. My pediatrician was a 45-minute drive away, while there were dozens closer than him.

Whether he knew it or not, moms were choosing him at least partly on his thoroughness and transparency, if not for their entertainment.

As you said the mothers chose him rather than an other doctor closer from.home because they knew that he was thorough and serious and would perform a complete intimate exam.

I doubt that it was for their entertainment that he wanted that the boys were naked and let them stand or lie naked for a long while, may be he was not at all concerned by the possible modesty of boys in front of their mothers

@esaterman

As you said the mothers chose him rather than an other doctor closer from.home because they knew that he was thorough and serious and would perform a complete intimate exam.

I doubt that it was for their entertainment that he wanted that the boys were naked and let them stand or lie naked for a long while, may be he was not at all concerned by the possible modesty of boys in front of their mothers

I agree with this.

@spbb

Well maybe not entertainment, but definitely his nurse had boys undressed to underwear from the start of the exam

Moms talk. If one of them finds a doctor who honors their wishes, that news spreads, and more moms take their kids to that doctor. My pediatrician was a 45-minute drive away, while there were dozens closer than him.

Whether he knew it or not, moms were choosing him at least partly on his thoroughness and transparency, if not for their entertainment.

With one or two exceptions, every dr. I've been to as long as I can remember has had me strip to my shorts for a physical exam, until the dr. I started seeing three years ago.

When I was a kid we lived in the city, where my parents had an internist and we kids had a pediatrician. Then we moved to a town 100 miles away, which had a couple docs. We'd go to the local docs for minor stuff, but for anything more concerning, or for physical exams, we travelled 100 miles to go to the docs my parents knew and trusted, despite there being countless doctors in that 100 mile radius. I can assure you, it was for nobody's entertainment.

My mom’s final sit in on a physical came at 17. I was never embarrassed to be undressed in front of the doctor or nurse but mom was what I dreaded the most.