Worst Enema Accident?

What's the worst enema accident you ever had?

I tried an M&M and then sat in front of the computer...didn't last 3 or 4 minutes before I lost complete control and didn't quite make it to the toilet. The expulsion was so violent that I actually blew a few "pieces" out between the seat and the bowl...luckily I noticed them before my wife came home!

I wrote earlier, one time I was taking a 3-qt enema. I used the same nozzle I had used many times before a 5-inch flexible triangle ended nozzle. I was in Simms position, as I've been countless times before. Everything was normal.

I felt my intestine pulse. WATER WAS BLASTING OUT EVERYWHERE!!

Turns out it was coming from the hose! THE NOZZLE HAD GONE RIGHT UP INSIDE ME!!!

I was in a panic!!

My husband WAS home for this one.

My husband tried to get it out!

I got into knee-chest position, with my feet hanging over the back of the bed He said, "When you feel me grip it, push like you are trying to poop."

He never got a grip.

Then I remembered, it WAS a system cleanse and that meant 30 mg oral bisacodyl before the process even started.

My husband suggested I try magnesium citrate before going to the ER!

He began setting up for me to do a magnesium citrate.

Just about the time he was ready to put the pillow in front of the toilet, the bisacodyl kicked in! At 30 mg it certainly is a kick in!!!

When it stopped there was no solid matter left in my large intestine, least of all something as large as that nozzle!

I DID have to put on some gloves and reach into that water-poop-soapsuds-bisacodyl mess to retrieve it, but it was no worse for the wear, and after a week to deal with the emotions, neither was I!

A sudden colon spasm caused uncontrolled spraying half way through an enema. Fortunately the disposable pad I had under me contained all the liquid and I was able to make it to the toilet with only minor drips.

A funny accident happened when the connector between the enema tubing and the colon tube popped off during an enema. I was so occupied with staunching the flow from the enema bag that I forgot I had an open drain line in my colon.

The biggest mess occured when one of those cottage-industries latex bags had a catastrophic failure. The thin rubber body separated from the rigid throat ring sending three soapy quarts of warm water all over the vanity and onto the bathroom rug.

If you have as many enemas over the years as I have, it is only a matter of time before you have an accident or incident. I am talking about more than a few dribbles or a spilled bag of plain water or soapy water. I am talking about a major mess to clean up.

The first notable incident was when I was sixteen or seventeen. My sister and I decided to give ourselves a wine enema. With red wine. It was a disaster with an explosive expulsion and mom thinking the red splashed all over the toilet and bathroom floor was blood. After they found out it was not blood but wine, their panic turned to being major league pissed. It was not that I gave myself an enema but it was the wine that got them so pissed.

Another time, years later as an adult, I was holding a coffee enema. It had been easy to hold for a while. I broke my own rule when the phone rang and I answered it. It was my daughter and I was expecting her call. The urges to expel started getting stronger but I didn't want her to hear the noises of me on the toilet, so I hoped the urges would go away in a minute. They got stronger. I trotted to the toilet with shitty coffee running down my legs and leaving a brown trail on my beige carpet. As the rest of the coffee and shit gushed out into the toilet my daughter asked, "What is that noise?" I had no choice but to tell her I had given myself an enema. I did not say it was coffee. After she hung up it took me an hour with spray carpet cleaner to get some of it out but I still had to call the professional carpet cleaners in to finish it. Rule #1 - Do not answer the phone with an enema in you. Rule #2 - Stay close to the toilet.

My mother had a medical encyclopedia in which it referenced a 1, 2, 3 enema. One ounce of glycerin, two ounces of soap, and three ounces of water.

As a seasoned enema devotee, this is one recipe that I'm going to try. Ingredients mixed, bulb syringe filled, plastic pants donned, I lay in bed awaiting the minute to infuse myself. The moment came. I shot the solution up my awaiting rectum. Within seconds, a mild urge to defecate hit me. I've held glycerin suppositories before, I can do this, I said to myself. How wrong I was. I don't think ninety seconds had passed before I lost all control of my rectal muscles. Needless to say, I had a huge mess to clean up. Bed, floor, and me was covered. Luckily, we had hardwood flooring and not carpet.

My mother had a medical encyclopedia in which it referenced a 1, 2, 3 enema. One ounce of glycerin, two ounces of soap, and three ounces of water.

That's a different 1-2-3 than the ones I've seen. What kind of soap did you use?