Naked Night

Some of us take longer than others to to discover that sex is fun! While I wish I had learned this lesson earlier, especially for my husband's sake, I am glad to be learning now. It has been a wonderful journey.

Thursday nights at my house have been dubbed "Naked Night." The concept started about six years ago, when a coworker talked about her 4-year-old son's aversion to wearing clothes. The compromise she made with him was that on Saturday mornings he could stay undressed for awhile - he called it naked Saturday. Because our daughter, who lives at home works on Thursday night, we have the house to ourselves -- so Naked Night was born!

I never liked being naked. I didn't like my husband to see me naked, and my style of dress has always been very conservative. No cleavage, no bare shoulders, nothing tight or revealing in any way. There are many reasons that I did not want to draw attention to my body -- general shyness, Catholic upbringing, abusive relationship in high school, lack of confidence about my body, etc., so I didn't like my husband to see me naked or even in my underwear. In the early years of our marriage, he would comment on the underwear commercials and he would ask why I didn't run around dressed like that. I was horrified at the thought! Despite the fact that we had two children together, I would not let him see me in the bathtub or shower. I didn't like him to see me getting undressed or dressed. I did not even like him to see my feet without socks.

We have now been married 31 years. Over the last decade, I started to become more comfortable with my body, to accept my body, to accept myself as I am, and to understand that we are all created as sexual beings. Part of this change has been due to my husband gently nudging me (well, sometimes shoving me in a loving way) in this new direction. Some of the change in attitude may be just age - with age comes wisdom, right?

So, at our house, we have established Naked Nights! It has taken a long time to become comfortable being naked in front of him. It has taken even longer to figure out that sex is fun and experimenting is natural and normal. There is nothing wrong with feeling good with a partner who loves you. Some nights we just lounge around and watch television. Sometimes it is sleeping naked. Some naked nights are for role-playing, being blindfolded and bound, or for an enema, or a naughty story time. No matter what we do, naked night is something we both look forward to. It is time for embracing a part of myself that I denied for a very long time. You are never too old to change, to grow, to learn!

My wife and I do naked day once in awhile on the weekend. It always leads to lots of fun.

@Sexy_Librarian I am going to follow this thread you have begun. 🌹 Sometime back I was given some advice about making posts in a thread of my own and keeping to it. It was to help others get to know me better so that they did not have to bounce from one thread to another to get to know me and what I want to do with my life.

I am very glad that you have started your own thread and get to know you better. My writing has helped me in my own marriage immensely by putting my thoughts into words and having others comment on them. I am given ideas and insights as to how to make my own 'sexploration' even better with my husband.

All the best and keep posting please. 🌹

@Sexy_Librarian said, " We have now been married 31 years. Over the last decade, I started to become more comfortable with my body, to accept my body, to accept myself as I am, and to understand that we are all created as sexual beings. Part of this change has been due to my husband gently nudging me (well, sometimes shoving me in a loving way) in this new direction. Some of the change in attitude may be just age - with age comes wisdom, right?"

@Ms_Lila said, "I am very glad that you have started your own thread and get to know you better. My writing has helped me in my own marriage immensely by putting my thoughts into words and having others comment on them. I am given ideas and insights as to how to make my own 'sexploration' even better with my husband.

All the best and keep posting please. 🌹 "

@Sexy_Librarian what are some of the things you have "thought" about or "wondered" about but haven't quite figured out how to approach your husband and tell him or ask him about? This is a good place to "say it out loud" and "rehearse" how you would ask your husband or show him what you want to try? I've read about "total access" and each of us being responsible for our own satisfaction, what do you have with your husband? Where do you want to go with "it" with your husband? How does it make you feel to know that it is so fantastic that, "It has taken a long time to become comfortable being naked in front of him. It has taken even longer to figure out that sex is fun and experimenting is natural and normal. There is nothing wrong with feeling good with a partner who loves you."

It took me coming here to understand and accept my husband's use of enemas and I am learning a lot on how to make it better for both of us. I'm sort of new to exploring with him but first I had to realize that I really want what I am finding with my husband. But first I have to learn how to ask for what I want and to do that I need to know what I want.

Keep posting.

Some of us take longer than others to to discover that sex is fun! While I wish I had learned this lesson earlier, especially for my husband's sake, I am glad to be learning now. It has been a wonderful journey.

What are some of the things ... that you want to do ... with ... or ... to ... your husband but are afraid to ask or even think about? 😈 I like that you started your own thread ... I hope you keep it up and let us know what turns ... YOU 😈 ... and where you want to take it.

I am going to follow this one too ... 🌹

Some of us take longer than others to to discover that sex is fun!

. . . . You mean taking longer than doing it the first time? 😎

. . . . You mean taking longer than doing it the first time? 😎

I liked sex from the start, well almost. But it took me a little to get past the apparent taboo of the times and my upbringing that sex could be for fun and not always some solemn act of love and all that. 😕

Oh yes ... that Catholic mores and upbringing played hell with my love of sex. Once I got past that ... and found out it was ok for me to love sex it really got me going. 😉

Sexy Librarian, you can count me in on following your thread, too. Are you liking to be naked in front of your husband more and more? Are there things you want to try now, that before you never would have considered?

I'm glad you have started this thread. 🌹

@Sexy_Librarian, this is a great thread you have started and what a fantastic post to kick it off with. I too will be following this thread.

Some of us take longer than others to to discover that sex is fun! While I wish I had learned this lesson earlier, especially for my husband's sake, I am glad to be learning now. It has been a wonderful journey.

MrsFn often expresses a sentiment like this. I always tell her that we are exactly where we are suppose to be, at this time and place, in our sexploration and enjoyment of each other. I would not change anything about how our lives have been on our journey to this point and beyond. It definitely has been a wonderful journey.

. . . . You mean taking longer than doing it the first time? 😎

I think I understand exactly what @Sexy_Librarian meant by her statement. I know there was a time in our marriage that I made MrsFn feel like she was nothing more than a sex object for me. I did not do this intentionally. I have always loved her, but she did not always feel valued as a person and partner in my life. There were times that we both enjoyed sex with each other, but at times she felt that was all she was good for and I am sure that was not fun for her. We stayed together and worked through everything to finally get to where we are today. I am very happy that we have. She is an incredible woman, best friend, and lover!

Please keep posting @Sexy_Librarian. I so enjoy the things you share.

I love your post and your writings you sexy librarian. Keep growing and writing!

This is a great post. A lot of everything has to do with the person you’re with. I became sexual at a fairly early age but a bad marriage to an emotionally abusive man caused real problems with my self image. After my divorce I dated a fair amount and slept with a decent amount of men. Honestly we’re you to ask most of them they’d say “oh #### doesn’t cum.” If you asked my current husband he’d say “oh #### is a multi-orgasmic screamer.” Congratulations for having a loving husband who helps you to be comfortable being you.

Oh yes ... that Catholic mores and upbringing played hell with my love of sex. Once I got past that ... and found out it was ok for me to love sex it really got me going. 😉

Exactly this! Growing up with the message that anything to do with the human body was somehow dirty is not always easy to get over. Mom handed me a book about sex when I was maybe 11 or so. You know, the where do babies come from books that start out, "When two married people love each other. . .." So later I asked how people who weren't married were able to have babies? Mom turned the color of an eggplant and said that we were not going to discuss that. If you can't talk about it - if talking about it is bad or sinful, how much worse is DOING it? Oh, my! Those messages are hard to leave behind.

I liked sex from the start, well almost. But it took me a little to get past the apparent taboo of the times and my upbringing that sex could be for fun and not always some solemn act of love and all that. 😕

The "well, almost" part is something I can definitely identify with. I was very attracted to my husband before we married in a way that I had never been attracted to anyone before that. The concept of sex for fun was very alien to me. It isn't that I couldn't have FUN, but there was that GUILT attached to it. I couldn't believe that it was okay to just relax and enjoy it - my mind was always on the dishes in the sink or the laundry that needed to be done. It did not dawn on me until much later in my marriage that recognizing and taking care of our physical needs were just as important as having a house that was clean. "Love" is not defined by how clean the house is, but by the relationships that you nurture. Now the house is definitely not as clean as it used to be, but we are much more engaged with one another! Naked night is another part of that - one night that we just spend with each other and we ignore everything else.

I had so many things to overcome when we were first married - just being very young, dealing with undiagnosed anxiety and depression (now treated), and just trying to figure out who I was or what I wanted. The beginnings of our marriage were rough at times and we never wanted the same thing at the same time. I would lie awake at night wanting him to come upstairs, just wanting him, while he was off in the basement avoiding me. If I went down there he felt as if I wanted to control him. Later on, he would pursue me and I was so tired from working, going to school, and raising our daughters that I had a hard time being interested in anything but going to sleep. For a number of years, I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep at the kids drama performances, work meetings, traffic lights. In 2008, I FINALLY got a doctor to listen to me and was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea and treating that really turned many things around for me. It is much easier to have fun in bed (or in the shower or in the garage) when you are awake! Probably a lot more fun for my husband as well!

My writing has helped me in my own marriage immensely by putting my thoughts into words and having others comment on them. I am given ideas and insights as to how to make my own 'sexploration' even better with my husband.

I am definitely trying to learn from others. I like that term, 'sexploration.' I feel like that is what I am doing. I feel like I am trying to get into the swimming pool - you know, stick your toes in and then pull them right back out. And then maybe next time you get the whole foot in! I am not the kind of person to somersault off of the diving board, even though I sometimes wish I was that person. Or maybe I am that person, I am just not quite ready. We all have to proceed at our own pace. So often I can't put what I want to say into words, but practice will help! I have lurked around the site for quite some time, reading, learning. Everyone has been very encouraging!

Sexy Librarian, how long had you known your husband before you got married? Did you go to school together since a young age? If you did, did knowing him so long before you got married make it easier or harder to open up about sex?

Sexy Librarian, how long had you known your husband before you got married? Did you go to school together since a young age? If you did, did knowing him so long before you got married make it easier or harder to open up about sex?

Good question! I met him after I graduated from high school, and we dated for a couple of years before we got married. He grew up in a completely different state, and did not move into my area until he had graduated from high school. I wish I had known him in high school - we could have shared a back seat on the band bus driving home from football games. It would have been vastly different for me than what I experienced - usually sitting with the chaperones.

Opening up to him, or to anyone was/is just hard. I dated someone in high school for three years. He was abusive in many ways. I became very isolated from my friends during that time because the guy did not like me talking to people. He had his friends reporting to him if they saw me talking to anyone in the halls. He could not bring himself to trust me (something seriously not right about him and I can see that now) and after a while, I did not trust myself - I felt worthless and trapped. Even after we stopped dating he would follow me around, call me to tell me that he knew what I was wearing and who I had been out with. He threatened to cut up my family, to burn down our house. So just learning to allow anyone into my life after that was hard. I rarely talk about any of this with him - although I did spend some time working through it with a therapist during my thirties. It isn't that I don't think my husband would listen - he would. It is just not something I want to remember or dredge up.

We have learned a lot about each other in the last couple of years. I learned that he likes my feet. While we were dating I would not let him see my feet. He would try so hard to get my shoes off, but nope, I always thought I had ugly feet. It turns out, my feet are quite nice, and I do now on occasion wear sandals during the summer or go barefoot in the house. I let him paint my toenails! But when we finally talked about how he felt about my feet, a light bulb went on for me about how much communication plays into relationships. You can have all the chemistry in the world, but if you can't understand why things turn your partner on, you are missing a piece of the puzzle - at least in my case. So I do try to share more with him in little dribs and drabs.

I tell my husband that I regret that we missed out on so many opportunities early in our marriage because I could embrace myself as a sexual being but he tells me we are right where we are supposed to be at this time in our lives and that is all that matters.

Another Naked Thursday

We skipped our usual naked night two weeks ago because I developed a case of shingles. Bummer. This past Thursday night I decided to open the Naked Stylist Salon. I started out by sending him a "promo code" for a naked haircut and shower afterwards. He made an appointment with me for 7:30. I was not truly naked, I wore some slinky, stretchy thing with holes in it that he had bought me for Christmas and a pair of heels. It was not too bad other than I couldn't figure out which holes my nipples should go through! I have come so far from not letting him see my body.

He came in to the "salon" perfectly on time and I proceeded to chit chat with him. Small talk. How do you want your hair cut? What are your plans for the weekend? I worked on his hair, and leaned my breasts into his face when I was clipping the front. Teasing him. I made sure to stretch in front of him and lean against him whenever I could. He seemed to be a happy fellow. I asked if he needed anything else trimmed, and he took off his pants and stood in a chair so I could trim him up.

He swept up the room while I got the shower running. Trying to get the temperature just right is a challenge - I like hot water and he likes it a little cooler. We took turns lathering one another up, rinsing off, drying off. We slid between the sheets still damp from the shower, which is just an amazing feeling. Decadent.

About that time our daughter sent a text that she was leaving work early and would be home in a few minutes. Lately she has been giving us this courtesy - she apparently knows that her parents are "playing" when she is at work. A few years ago a text like that would have made me stop and say "oh well, another time." But not anymore. I just made sure the bedroom door was locked. Progress!

You can have all the chemistry in the world, but if you can't understand why things turn your partner on, you are missing a piece of the puzzle - at least in my case. So I do try to share more with him in little dribs and drabs.

@Sexy_Librarian that is exactly where my wife and I were a few years ago. I was always hiding my enemas by sneaking off to my shop when she wasn't there. I really felt like I was the only one in the world who liked enemas and sneaking around was the only way I could have some alone time. It felt like I was lying to her and that didn't do anything to make it better between us. Not that it wasn't bad, it just wasn't complete and every time we made love I kept wanting to tell her there was more that I wanted.

But my wife kept after me and was always asking questions and sometimes I felt like she knew about my "secret" but was just playing with me or trying to get me to admit something. I just knew that if I admitted to her that I liked having my butt played with that she would think I was a "homosexual", which I am not, and be repulsed.

When I finally admitted things to her, I was surprised at her reaction. It was not what I expected and I'm glad she knows.

I apologize if I took up too much space in your thread, but I like the way that you are open.

I apologize if I took up too much space in your thread, but I like the way that you are open.

I enjoyed reading your post - I appreciate that you are willing to share. I am LEARNING to be more open. It is a slow and sometimes painful process. Sometimes I blurt out things and then wish I had not let the thoughts escape. Sometimes I think of something I want to share and agonize over it for weeks (months, years) before I can get the words out. So far, sharing has been far more productive than keeping things to myself! So I will keep trying.

In nature, growth is not easy. Butterflies have to struggle free of the chrysalis; baby birds work for hours to break out of their shell. Certainly childbirth is painful - at least for the mother. So I suppose it should not come as a surprise that when we grow as humans, physically, emotionally, sexually - that there might be a little work involved. Just my opinion. But is sure feels good when the work part is over and you get to enjoy the freedom outside of that shell!

But is sure feels good when the work part is over and you get to enjoy the freedom outside of that shell!

I liked how you said that.

. But is sure feels good when the work part is over and you get to enjoy the freedom outside of that shell!

Some days my shell is much harder to break through than others. The past week has been a tough one. We were traveling and I am not a good traveler. Too many things to be anxious about. Strange places, new people, loss of routine - when you are traveling there is a lack of control and I don't like it. Not that you are any more in control when you are not traveling, but some of you will know what I mean. I need rules and routines and I am not the biggest fan of spontaneity. For many years in our marriage, I fought against my husband for control. I needed to "wear the pants" in the family so to speak. The biggest change happened in our marriage when I stopped trying to be in control and let him take over. Sure, we talk about the big things, but I put my trust in him to make the best decisions for us. And for me. Which means that he usually knows what I need at any given time and I submit to his wishes. I have to admit, it is new for me, being in submission to him. But I feel like a puzzle piece that has finally clicked into place!

Thursday night we were in our hotel room and we had brought the "good" camera. I had brought the stretchy, slinky red garment that I wore a few weeks ago knowing that we would take advantage of the privacy to have a little photo shoot. I have gotten a little more comfortable with my husband taking photos of me. I don't feel that I am very good at posing, but he thinks I am and that is all that counts! So I put on my sexy little red thing that is more like a tube of fabric that someone randomly took the scissors to and stretched out on the bed. He took photos of my feet and my legs and I rolled over and he took some photos from that view. I got up and moved around the room posing on various furniture while the shutter clicked away on the camera. At one point, my husband opened the drapes on the window and told me to stand in front of it, leaning on the window with my arms raised above my head. It was dark outside, and there was a tree hopefully blocking the view from the windows across the way. But because he told me to do it, I had to comply. He knows what is best for me.

I have only looked at a few of the pictures from Thursday night. While we were out shopping at a thrift store he found a steampunk style mask that he wants to use in a later photo shoot. It is funny because now whenever we are out shopping we both see things that could be used in photos or to play with (we found some really interesting cotton swabs at one store this weekend). It seems like sex is on my mind more than it used to be - I allow those thoughts to come to the surface more instead of trying to keep them tamped down all of the time. It takes a lot of energy to keep those thoughts locked up than it does to just let them out - I had a therapist tell me that a long time ago and he was right. I am learning!

It seems like sex is on my mind more than it used to be - I allow those thoughts to come to the surface more instead of trying to keep them tamped down all of the time. It takes a lot of energy to keep those thoughts locked up than it does to just let them out - I had a therapist tell me that a long time ago and he was right. I am learning!

I loved this post Sexy Librarian. Please let those thoughts come out a lot more.

Thank you.

What a wonderful post, it's absolutely great when you can explore all the facets of sexuality and kink with the person you love and trust. And the orgasms ain't too bad either!! Just sayin , ?

@Sexy_Librarian said

... he found a steampunk style mask ...

@Sexy_Librarian you have got to share those! I love steampunk!

I loved your post and just keep writing, it gets easier and sexier the more you do it. 🌹

@Sexy_Librarian, this is a great post and I think that if I write more I will learn more about what I want with my sex life. Already I am seeing that I'm not alone and that a lot of people feel like I do and it isn't just about enemas and anal sex. I think that if I write it or about things more often I will be better able to tell my wife what I want and maybe even listen to what she wants and feels a little better.

I liked your post.

And the orgasms ain't too bad either!! Just sayin , ?

Exactly!

Already I am seeing that I'm not alone and that a lot of people feel like I do.

I think there are so many people out there like us. It is nice to find a place to explore these feelings in a supportive environment.

Please let those thoughts come out a lot more.

I loved your post and just keep writing, it gets easier and sexier the more you do it. 🌹

I do plan to keep sharing. It does seem to get a little easier with practice! It is strange how it is easier to write here sometimes where my words are read by people I don't really know than it is to talk directly to my husband.

I appreciate how supportive everyone is in this community.

Exactly!

I think there are so many people out there like us. It is nice to find a place to explore these feelings in a supportive environment. I do plan to keep sharing.

It does seem to get a little easier with practice! It is strange how it is easier to write here sometimes where my words are read by people I don't really know than it is to talk directly to my husband.

I appreciate how supportive everyone is in this community.

You are talking directly to your husband if you write what is on your mind and in your heart. I have and am using this place to "rehearse" what I say and how I say it to my husband. I also get ideas from here that I try out on him. 🌹

And the more I write, the more I talk, and it gets easier to let my husband know what I am thinking about and what I want us to try. Then it's fun to write about that! 😁 😁

I think it is beautiful that you received the confidence, through support and encouragement, to be where you are now. Beautiful post. Happy Thursday! 😃

@Sexy_Librarian excellent thread. Yes exploring is a wonderful journey, exciting and you will never know where it will leads you .

Thanks for sharing it and keep posting.

@Sexy_Librarian, I really enjoy your thread here and your willingness to share. Your husband is a lucky man, as you seem eager to keep trying new things, and ways to play and enjoy your sexuality.

Please keep posting as you learn and "sexplore" what you want for yourself and with each other. I will be following this thread also.

Stagman

@Sexy_Librarian, it's Thursday and I hope there will be some new "Naked Night" sexcapades that we might all be privileged to read about in the near future.

I always enjoy your posts and hearing about your journey of discovery. Thank you again for sharing with us here.

Fn