Spanking with a nurturing tone

Does anyone else fantasize about being spanked by a mommy/daddy in a way that's free from anger or harshness, but still painful and embarrassing? Sort of like it's something that inevitably must be done to boys/girls when they've been naughty, but not because the parent is angry? "I know you're scared, sweetie, and it's ok to cry. I'm going to need to make your bottom very red and sore. Now lift up your arms so mommy can pull your pants and underwear down."

@curiouserboy said

Does anyone else fantasize about being spanked by a mommy/daddy in a way that's free from anger or harshness, but still painful and embarrassing?

I think that's how it is for most people who like to get spanked.

Maybe so! Most spanking porn seems to have at least stern, if not angry, tops, so you wouldn't guess from that. Especially f/m spanking, but that's kind of true for femdom generally. Of course, porn is not real life etc.

I have watched an untold number of spanking videos and the only ones that truly leave an erotic feel to them is when the woman being caned, whipped, whatever, is finally taken down and she embraces her Dom and he consoles her like a little girl.

The dynamic of being the person responsible for her pain and suffering then becomes the same person that is her comforter afterward.

Being able to understand and appreciate this unique relationship really makes corporal punishment an intimate affair. Once again, that D/s dynamic may be hard for vanilla people to comprehend, but for those of us that do....it's makes a really tight bond.

The old adage about never punishing when you are mad is really true. Waiting until you are totally in control of both the situation...and yourself....and then do the deed. Both of you will get much more out of it and it will be something she will look forward to with you....weird huh?

That is the way I spank someone. I’m not nasty or angry and am very much “yep this is going to hurt. It’s ok to cry or to beg.” I’ve seen some viciously brutal spankings and that generally turns me off. That’s not my kink.

I also encourage as well. I want to make sure my sub knows I’m also proud of them for handling the spanking and that it will end.

I also encourage as well. I want to make sure my sub knows I’m also proud of them for handling the spanking and that it will end.

This is what I'm talking about. It's the gentleness and encouragement coexisting with the pain and embarrassment of being spanked that I crave.

A big fantasy! I am 50+, divorced, and I hope to find a woman who will be my soul mate emotionally and in kink!

I'm 74 and widowed. I have been spanking this way for the last sixty years, give or take a year or two and have been spanked this way by my Mom and Step-Dad and Step-Mom Aunt and Uncle.

All of the spankings, most of them deserved were given to me and I have given to others out of love and a hope that the person would learn from their mistake and hopefully not make it again.

It's so important that the spanked be consoled with back and tushie rubs while they cry it out over your lap or holding them close.

I got an occasional spanking up until age twelve. Getting spanked at twelve didn't bother me a bit though. My mother couldn't hit me hard enough to really make it hurt and my dad didn't either, but I'm sure he probably could've. In my early childhood years I can remember mom saying sometimes, 'this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you,' while I'm bent over her lap, buns sometimes bared then my reddening ass beating would begin.

The best & first spanking I received was by a doctor/teacher who I was in the care of when I was but 9 years young. I remember it like it was yesterday and the spanking hurt badly and I cried and afterwards he consoled me and caressed my bottom and back and held me till I calmed.

I had never been that close to an adult prior to that and the physical contact had a real impression on me.

I longed for another but was not to ever have that repeated. I was removed from the facility and never had someone care for me like the again.

That experience has stuck with me all these years and I have continued to long for it again but it alludes me to this day.

I have trusted but one person (as an adult) enough to ask her if she would put me through that motion/emotion to experience it now so to see what it was that draws me to needing it again, (I actually know) but she is too sensitive and is afraid it will hurt. She just does not understand the need and dynamic there.

So, I can wonder.....we apparently are not always meant to have all the things in this life we might need.

You can't really make it happen so easily, this late in life.

100% the way I'd want to receive a spanking.

For the most part when I do give a spanking it is because someone has been naughty.

And they need to learn a lesson. They are told that most likely they will cry and it will hurt and might be painful and their bottom will be sore.

I will talk to them before the spanking and during and after they have been spanked. Many times I will sit with them and talk or will rub their back and or bottom.

And they always receive spankings on a bare bottom.

Wow! "I know you're scared, sweetie, and it's ok to cry. I'm going to need to make your bottom very red and sore. Now lift up your arms so mommy can pull your pants and underwear down."

I find that very exciting to think and fantasize about. Really shows the spanker is control! Love it!

As a Daddy this is how I would spank my little girl free of anger/harshness but I feel it still needs to be painful and embarrassing. Honey you know you are wrong and how many times has Daddy warned you about this before, so yes sweetie you need to be spanked and as much as it hurts Daddy to do this it needs to be done and its okay if you cry because Daddy is going to make your bottom very red and sore

This is kind of the holy grail of adult spanking, something most true spankos secretly or not so secretly search for. I have only felt really close with a small percentage of those that have spanked me in adult years, and many still dont really and truly "get it."

I could never understand the phrase: "This is going to hurt me more than you!" Bullshit, I say. It's hollow and not true. The person getting spanked is the person who is going to hurt!! 😄

@gwhap: If it hurts you more than it does her, you're doing it wrong.

@gwhap, couldn't agree more. Recall that being said to me at least once by one of my parents when I was a child... if not both.

Videos and stories like this get me going!

In my realm of thinking, this is perfect. For me, having a Daddy is all about learning, and having defined parameters to live by. To be held accountable, to be disciplined and have clear consequences would make life more manageable. Knowing that if I cross the line, be it by disobedience or disrespect, the punishment is a spanking, by a nurturing, loving Daddy is what’s necessary for me to have a happy fulfilled life.

@gwhap said

I could never understand the phrase: "This is going to hurt me more than you!" Bullshit, I say. It's hollow and not true. The person getting spanked is the person who is going to hurt!! 😄

Let me explain it to you.

The parent who presumably loves their child is about to inflict pain to teach a lesson. The parent feels bad about having to teach the lesson in that manner.

It is emotional pain on the part of the parent that is going to hurt more than the spanking the child receives.

I said:

I could never understand the phrase: "This is going to hurt me more than you!" Bullshit, I say. It's hollow and not true. The person getting spanked is the person who is going to hurt!! 😄

@Susie Said:

The parent who presumably loves their child is about to inflict pain to teach a lesson. The parent feels bad about having to teach the lesson in that manner.

It is emotional pain on the part of the parent that is going to hurt more than the spanking the child receives.

I don’t buy that - I think the phrase is just a cliche to justify what the parent is doing, and possibly to transfer more guilt to the child for putting the parent in that awkward position and making them feel bad because of some bad behavior the child expressed. I only spanked one of my three boys once at the insistence of my wife. Three moderate whacks on the bare butt with a hairbrush. He wailed like I was killing him. I didn't like doing it, but I did not feel any emotional pain or guilt. My wife however hysterically screamed from the kitchen for me to stop - so maybe it hurt her emotionally.

Sometimes emotional pain can be a weakness. When you decide to physically punish you child, emotions should be kept out of it.

@gwhap said

I don’t buy that - I think the phrase is just a cliche to justify what the parent is doing, and possibly to transfer more guilt to the child for putting the parent in that awkward position and making them feel bad because of some bad behavior the child expressed.

You don't have to take my word for it, but that IS what the phrase means.

Here is the top hit from Google:

The phrase "This will hurt me more than it hurts you" implies that the punisher [the parent] is being harmed by having to punish [the child], that this is a hurtful act that the punished [the child] has forced him into by their disobedience.

Also see this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200303/hurts-me-more-it-hurts-you

That may be what the phrase means - but I seriously doubt the so-called 'emotional pain" is worse than the "physical pain". How do you compare "emotional pain" to "Physical pain" - apples and oranges. I don't consider Psychobabble Today to be a good reference source.

I don’t buy that - I think the phrase is just a cliche to justify what the parent is doing.

Just because you don't buy it, and you don't feel that way, does not mean it's universally untrue.

And while you can't necessarily quantify emotional pain vs. physical pain, in many cases, children are back to playing or doing whatever after a few minutes of crying it out, and the parent still feels hurt about spanking them, and worries if the child is going to turn out right, thinks to the future, etc. The child takes no thought to any of that, once the sting has faded, it's back to whatever trivial game or activity they like. So by that measure, the emotional pain is more lingering than the physical pain. Some children may be more emotionally sensitive, and may have more lingering effects, but we're talking in generalities.

I love a good old-fashioned maternal-style spanking with a slipper on my bare bottom by a big, buxom woman who has a naturally bossy manner and matriarchal attitude.

Like I mentioned before, I'm Hispanic, Mexican to be more exact…if your were getting your ass beaten for something you did as a kid there was no “nurturing tone” to go along with the ass whooping you were getting. Never ever.

No nurturing tone for me either; unless one considers the sound of the back of a large wooden Fuller hairbrush smacking the hell out of my bare backside! 😢😢😢

It was her mother’s calm, matter of fact manner, this is for your own good, that made “Jessics’s Strapping” particularly arousing for me.

https://xhamster.com/videos/jessica-s-strapping-1401649

It was her mother’s calm, matter of fact manner, this is for your own good ….

Yes, agree, it makes the parent seem all the more dominate and in control… something I never experienced and now fantasize about.