@agracier …
Honestly, it seems like you did not read my last post very carefully at all before responding to it? I realize that it was quite lengthy. So, maybe it was difficult to read and retain everything that I wrote?
First, let's notice your choice of words in your first sentence… “worked over”. Worked over? Are you aware that (at least in the United States) that phrase absolutely implies an extremely abusive beating? I pointed out in my previous post that you seem to think that every spanking is a father swinging a leather strap as hard as he possibly can at least a hundred times. A proper spanking for an 8.y.o. boy might be 3-4 light swats with a strap… just painful enough to be effective.
You then go on to say, “… if they keep on repeating the offenses for which they are punished…”, which is another gigantic assumption. Children can easily find hundreds of ways to misbehave. The typical misbehaviors of a 5-year-old are nothing like the typical misbehaviors of a 10-year-old, and a 15-year-old misbehaves entirely differently from the 10-year-old. Who said that spankings, when properly administered, are not modifying behavior? Not me! Obviously, a child MIGHT need to be disciplined more than once for the same offense, but my experience has been that when an offense is properly disciplined (including, but not limited to spanking) children learn not to repeat that offense. I stole a candy bar from a friend when I was 6.y.o. and went over my mom's lap for some swats with her hairbrush. Apparently, candy bars were a huge temptation for me, because it was not long before I shoplifted another candy bar at the corner drugstore. This time, I went over my dad's sawhorse for a good thrashing with a “hickory switch”. This time I learned my lesson. I can distinctly remember that the next time I was tempted to shoplift a candy bar, the memory of those stripes across my butt was the specific reason why I thought twice and did not repeat that offense. In fact, I never stole anything ever again after receiving that discipline. Even though I learned my shoplifting lesson, I still cheated on a 1st grade spelling test later that year and received a paddling from the 1st grade teacher (and, another thrashing from dad at home). I also learned that lesson… I never cheated on schoolwork again!
You then go on to say that something else should be tried when repeated spankings fail to produce the desired bahavior modification. Did you read the comments in my post that make clear that spanking should only be one of several tools used when training a child to behave? I said, discipline should include, BUT NOT BE LIMITED TO, spanking, when necessary. Actually, I disagree with the way you worded this portion of your response, because 90% of the time, I do NOT think that something else should be tried when spanking has not worked first (the way you worded your response, this is what you perhaps unintentionally implied – that spanking should be tried first, before other methods of correction)… OF COURSE, 90% of the time, something else should be tried first, and spanking should be be used only AFTER other approaches have failed. There are some offenses (perhaps 10% of the time) for which a spanking might be the best first approach, but usually other forms of discipline will modify a child's behavior. For example, taking away screen time privileges (TV, video games, social media, etc) and warning a child that another occurrence of the same offense WILL result in a spanking, will usually work, and the spanking itself will be avoided. Also, do you remember me saying in my post that other types of POSITIVE and negative reinforcement should be used to accomplish effective child rearing? Influencing a child's behaviors over the long-term cannot be effectively accomplished strictly by discouraging (punishing, by whatever method) bad behavior… the child MUST also receive an enormous amount of love, and encouragement to behave properly, including rewarding good behavior appropriately!
Lastly, I want to say, as I have in other posts to other threads, that spanking is not as effective for some children as it is for others. Kids have different personalities. Some can simply be reasoned with, but some cannot easily be reasoned with. There are children for whom spanking will only very VERY rarely (like one or twice over the course of 18 years), or NEVER, be necessary, because they don't get into too much trouble, and/or they respond well to other forms of discipline. HOWEVER, there are also other children who do NOT respond very well to other forms of discipline, but do respond very well to a proper spanking, when necessary. For example, for some kids, grounding them (preventing them from participating in activities that stimulate intellectual/emotional growth and social interaction) is very detrimental, to the point of traumatic. Frequently grounding such a 14.y.o. boy is a really BAD idea. Sometimes such a boy would very much prefer to receive a spanking so his punishment is over and done with quickly, and he can get back to playing with his friends. Gounding such a kid, if it is ineffective, is just as pointless as is spanking another kid for whom spanking is ineffective.
I raised two sons and a daughter. Today, they each have postgraduate degrees (one is a medical doctor, one is a commercial real estate development manager, and one is a professional educator). I spanked the medical doctor a lot (my eldest son). I almost never spanked the real estate development manager (my younger son). I spanked the educator (my daughter) more than her younger brother, but less than her older brother. Parents who think that it's only “fair” to use exactly the same child rearing approach with each of their children are probably going to find out that treating children with different personalities exactly the same will be disastrous! It is a parent's responsibility to figure out what works for the benefit of each child.