Heteroflexible vs bi

they know enough about how to use the language and they know what the correct word for something is. But out of stupidity they simply refuse to use words correctly,

But it isn't clever to wilfully misuse a word, and as @ellesse said, start calling a dog a cat.

Sometimes people don't know the correct word for something that isn't that common, or they misremember the pronunciation or they are trying to be funny or clever or witty or are using coded meanings to everyday words that end up changing over time (which is what slang is).

Should people try and speak correctly? Of course they should, but one mustn't automatically assume that changing word meanings or putting them in a different light is something that (deliberately) happens out of being uncharitable or of a mean disposition with bad intentions.

Just in my lifetime there were beatniks creating a whole new subset of words and word meanings that surely did royally piss off the squares, but in the meantime many of their words and meanings have passed into accepted usage. The same certainly happened in the 1920's when new slang was all the rage and enraged the older generation at the time. Now we think it sounds cute and fun. The same with hippies and so on through the decades and years.

English speakers, especially Americans just love a witty turn of phrase, coming up with alliterations or witty rhymes which are half the battle in advertising and politics. Things have to sound good and catchy and that often means skirting the accepted meanings found in dictionaries compiled by a bunch of stuffy old academics. And when you walk on the wild side of linguistics and language, on the razor's cutting edge, new words, meanings and concepts will inevitably be born.

If you don't know what that is LOOK IT UP

C'mon, you know that people do not talk and hold conversations with a dictionary in their hand. That only works if you have a prepared text to present or write.

But in everyday conversation, people have not, do not and probably never ever will, consult a dictionary while they are busy talking.

And that is where the slippage begins, where alterations to language occurs and is perpetuated if it catches on. Learned academics who try to impose new rules to language or try to simplify spelling for instance, don't get much traction (eh Mr. Webster?). They usually end up being ignored and/or laughed at in one sequence or another ... that is because language, especially English which is spoken and used by so many vastly different social and cultural groups around the world, is so easily adaptable and likely to borrow whatever foreign words and phrases its speakers find useful.

C'mon, you know that people do not talk and hold conversations with a dictionary in their hand. That only works if you have a prepared text to present or write.

But in everyday conversation, people have not, do not and probably never ever will, consult a dictionary while they are busy talking.

That is why SCHOOL is important, and NOT home schooling, but schooling in an institution where the student is DIRECTLY measured against others in his class, where he can converse with them, where he can be constantly corrected by teachers and where he gets to see he ISN'T so smart and others are better than he is. Yes, a bit of embarrassment and humiliation is good for getting people to study. A constant reminder of class ranking is good.

Schooling teaches how to use resources so learning can be accomplished PRIOR to talking or writing. People writing on a computer have ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for incorrect usage or definitions because references to correct what they wrote are right at their fingertips. If they find they are wrong, they are wrong.

A few years ago I remember that younger guys who would have sex with a guy would call themself a metrosexual. Here on Zity I see that heteroflexible serves pretty much the same purpose. Of course I say this tongue in cheek -If you are married you certainly do not want to be referred to as gay. Bi sexual opens the door that you have an attraction to those of the same sex. Heteroflexible allows you to remain identified as a heterosexual but will swing the other way given the right situation-- Is there really any difference between heteroflexible and bi? It would be interesting to poll those who identify as heteroflexible or bi and get their feedback as to why identified as they did.

@Bithesea: To answer the question you just asked "is there really any difference between heteroflexible and bi?" IMO there is, and it's the amount of same-sex activity you are involved in and/or desire... heteroflexible implies less frequent, and specifically for me, I new something active it, as it's something latent.

@Bithesea said

A few years ago I remember that younger guys who would have sex with a guy would call themself a metrosexual. Here on Zity I see that heteroflexible serves pretty much the same purpose. Of course I say this tongue in cheek -If you are married you certainly do not want to be referred to as gay. Bi sexual opens the door that you have an attraction to those of the same sex. Heteroflexible allows you to remain identified as a heterosexual but will swing the other way given the right situation-- Is there really any difference between heteroflexible and bi? It would be interesting to poll those who identify as heteroflexible or bi and get their feedback as to why identified as they did.

Point by point:

Metrosexual has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation

met·ro·sex·ual

noun: metrosexual; plural noun: metrosexuals

a young, urban, heterosexual male with liberal political views, an interest in fashion, and a refined sense of taste.

Metrosexual is truly a stupid term because it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

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Heteroflexible has to do with sexual orientation and the difference between heteroflexible and bisexual is primarily the frequency and/or desire of frequency of homosexual sex, heteroflexible being much lower in frequency of homosexual sex.

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LOOK UP BOTH TERMS you will see the difference. The two terms ARE NOT synonyms.

Heteroflexible, correct me if I'm wrong, but is not considered part of the LGBT community yet..

Heteroflexible, correct me if I'm wrong, but is not considered part of the LGBT community yet..

I'm not interested in sexual political organizations so I have no idea if they consider heteroflexible as one of the groups that accept, although it seems that they should accept heteroflexible people.

As a heteroflexible person (bisexual if you don't like the term heteroflexible), if the LGBT community was really honest about accepting all orientations, they would include STRAIGHT / HETEROSEXUAL as part of their name, but they don't, and that speaks volumes about themselves and their agenda.

if the LGBT community was really honest about accepting all orientations, they would include STRAIGHT / HETEROSEXUAL as part of their name, but they don't, and that speaks volumes about themselves and their agenda.

I would think that after so many years/decades of following serious and reliable news outlets and reading and reading yet more, anyone can easily see that if the LGBT community has any agenda as such, it would be a quite simple one of asking for equal rights and an abolition of legal discrimination.

Since the US is now in a period of backsliding and abolishment of what equal rights they have gained over the years, I'd say that keeping to that basic agenda is more important than ever.

Other than that, there does not really seem to be an LGBT agenda. Calling it an agenda is often a much beloved tactic of those who oppose LGBT's in principle for any number of reasons. Your opponents have agendas, you and your organization has (lofty and noble) goals.

People writing on a computer have ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for incorrect usages.

Auto-correct ... it happens to the best of us ... ha ha ha

Since the US is now in a period of backsliding and abolishment of what equal rights they have gained over the years, I'd say that keeping to that basic agenda is more important than ever.

Other than that, there does not really seem to be an LGBT agenda. Calling it an agenda is often a much beloved tactic of those who oppose LGBT's in principle for any number of reasons. Your opponents have agendas, you and your organization has (lofty and noble) goals.

I know you like playing with semantics, and I am not going there.

They have gotten many "rights" in recent years. There has been no backsliding. They have lobbied and gotten laws passed which in actuality are redundant--just like the women's movement and racial organizations that got laws passed to specifically mention by name all the individual groups that should have their rights because laws that stated "all people" should have equal rights were not good enough for them. They wanted their niche group to be specifically mentioned. There are now a third set of bathrooms in many places for transsexuals, transvestites, and people of one biological sex to use locker rooms and bathrooms of the opposite sex they pretend to be or think they are on different days of the week. This has gotten out of hand.

I don't oppose their agenda or "goals" if you prefer that term, but they do exclude a large group of people, especially since the LGBT community has become the LGBTQRWXYZ+ community.

I never bothered to look up the definition of heteroflexible – and had assumed it meant something different. We should all take the time to understand what we are talking about before we open our mouths (keyboards) – I learned!!

Both terms appeared in print in the early 2000's - Merriam Webster has not yet vetted the words "heteroflexible" or "homoflexible" into their dictionary - at least I couldn't find them. , They do include the terms in "Words We're Watching" (April 2019). Their discussion about heteroflexible and homoflexible is similar to the wiki-dictionary definition.

https://www.merriam-webster.cm/words-at-play/homoflexible-heteroflexible-meaning-slang-definition

Lots of pyschobableists have characterized the "degree" of sexual orientation as a continuum between total straight or totally gay - quantifying that degree against a (subjective) numerical scale. IMHO if you play with the same and opposite sex - no matter the degree - you are bisexual. If the degree that you play with the same sex is low - you can call yourself heteroflexible (if you're straight) or homoflexible (if you're gay). In a separate article, someone postulated that the term “heteroflexible” came about to reduce the “stigma” of being called bisexual.

OK Susie - rip me a new one!!! 😄 😄 😄 😄

In this thread I posted the definitions here:

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=1003444

and then people who were too lazy to look it up started telling what the word meant to them, which is totally worthless.

You can look up the definitions in wikipedia and a few other dictionaries for the accepted definition.

Do a google search for "Heteroflexible define" and you will get the same definition from several sources.

Also here

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=971520

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=998278

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=638857

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=272344

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=756501

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=787867

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=573497

@gwhap: respectfully snipped:

IMHO if you play with the same and opposite sex - no matter the degree - you are bisexual. If the degree that you play with the same sex is low - you can call yourself heteroflexible (if you're straight) or homoflexible (if you're gay). In a separate article, someone postulated that the term “heteroflexible” came about to reduce the “stigma” of being called bisexual.

I believe you hit the nail on the head; the more I think about it "heteroflexible" is a load of, well you get the idea. The notion of just how much or often you or I engage in same sex distinguishes a person seems like a way to hide in the straight closet... and considering what I wrote previously, I'm guilty of..

The notion of just how much or often you or I engage in same sex distinguishes a person seems like a way to hide in the straight closet... .

Heteroflexible is a useful word. It is a word to describe a person who occasionally, under the right circumstances, will engage in same-sex activity.

In that it is quite different from bisexual, which describes a person whose sexual activity preferences can go either way with just slight differences in preferred gender partners.

It seems quite useful to differentiate between the two preferences. Saves a mouthful of talking.

@agracier: I see your point. But, when you wrote "is a word to describe a person who occasionally, under the right circumstances, will engage in same-sex activity." I laughingly thought, "Yea, When the wife is out of town." That was the case with most men I played around with.... We are all married and while some of our wives knew of our proclivities, attending to one's spouse took precedent.

@reddevil said

The notion of just how much or often you or I engage in same sex distinguishes a person seems like a way to hide in the straight closet... .

NOT AT ALL.

HETEROFLEXIBLE is telling you about the low frequency of homosexual sex for a mostly straight/heterosexual person in the exact same manner as HOMOFLEXIBLE describes a homosexual/gay person's low frequency of heterosexual sex.

I am telling you clear as can be that I partake in HOMOSEXUAL activity straight out. No hiding behind terms like saying I partake in LESBIAN activities. I'm saying homosexual clear as a bell. That isn't me hiding as a straight person in the closet. I know what I am and am not afraid to say it. I wish other people would be as forthright in life to see and accept what they are---NOT what they pretend to be.

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@reddevil said

@agracier: I see your point. But, when you wrote "is a word to describe a person who occasionally, under the right circumstances, will engage in same-sex activity." I laughingly thought, "Yea, When the wife is out of town."

Again that DEFINITELY IS NOT THE CASE.

My husband knows I see two women a couple of times a year and he is perfectly OK with it for two reasons: ONE: It is MY life and and he knows I enjoy their company and TWO, because he has confidence in himself and isn't jealous over my seeing a couple of women occasionally.

This really is a simple concept.

@SwitchableSusie: My husband knows I see two women a couple of times a year and he is perfectly OK with it for two reasons: ONE: It is MY life and and he knows I enjoy their company and TWO, because he has confidence in himself and isn't jealous over my seeing a couple of women occasionally.

This really is a simple concept.

Simple perhaps from a dominate, alpha woman's point of view, but men I've known, including myself, did not like leaving their gals home alone while they went out to play.

Simple perhaps from a dominate, alpha woman's point of view, but men I've known, including myself, did not like leaving their gals home alone while they went out to play.

That is a problem with the men's own insecurity, not how terms are defined.

Those men need to be strong, act like a mature man, suck it up and recognize that their spouses have parts of their lives that may not necessarily include their husbands.

Nice to hear I'm an alpha woman! Thank you.

I laughingly thought, "Yea, When the wife is out of town." t.

Not everyone is married, nor in a serious committed relationship.

It's interesting to watch as words develop new meanings. Whatever one thinks it means, "queer" definitely doesn't mean the same today as it did 25 years ago. And it would not constitute good communication to use it that way today.

It's interesting to watch as words develop new meanings. Whatever one thinks it means, "queer" definitely doesn't mean the same today as it did 25 years ago. And it would not constitute good communication to use it that way today.

. . . . and that should have been taken care of by the dictionary police and executioner a long time ago.

Queer was a derogatory term from the 1800s and what the queers did was to use the term while giving it a different meaning from the original one, bastardizing the word in much the same way that black people call each other niggas in a non-pejorative manner.

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Here is a great example of how fucked up society and its component groups are becoming.

https://www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/05/reasons-you-should-stop-saying-non-straight-and-say-queer/

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more crazy stuff

https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/03/difference-between-gay-queer/

It's a tough line to define. On one hand, we don't want people self-defining words, as that doesn't facilitate good communication. On the other hand, language changes as society changes. In the 1800's, there were only two gender identities: gay and straight. Today it's not that simple. Even you parse out bisexual into at least three different terms, two of which are recently fabricated words. The last politically correct indoctrination seminar I attended defined queer as one who is not cis-gender, hetero-normative, binary, monogamous and one other classification which I've forgotten.

The meaning of terms change all the time. Sex (as an adjective) and gender used to mean the same thing. Now they describe very different aspects of a person's identity.

It always bothers me when someone says "that impacted me." I learned that phrase meant either they were hit by it or it caused them to be constipated. But recently I did look it up in a mainstream dictionary and it now it's considered a synonym for "affected." Personally, I continue to use it in the more conventional way.

"Verbizing" a noun (that's an example of it there) also violates conventional grammer, but who doesn't say "I googled it?" I'm sure you're familiar with the expression "the pt has been heparinized;" bugs the heck out of me, but it's accepted. While the expression "Jewing someone down" is derogatory, its use is unfortunately common enough that people understand what it means. These examples are all wrong, but at what point of general acceptance does something which was wrong become right?

While I'm more conventional in my use of words, I do agree with not using the expression "non-straight." It sets straight as the standard by which other are compared. It's like saying someone is non-White. With the majority of the world being people of color, it seems a bit obnoxious to use white as the standard.

For a really foolish example of political correctness and speech codes, read about why we should never call a woman a female lol https://lawprofessors.typepad.com/gender_law/2017/11/why-you-should-stop-using-the-word-female-.html

On the other hand, language changes as society changes. ml

Some of my favorite examples of 'word creep' - changing definitions and meanings - comes from watching old 1930's 'Our Gang' shorts.

What would youngsters think nowadays if they heard of Alfalfa being Darla's 'lover' or when Alfalfa goes to 'make love' to Darla? That was also a popular phrase in many 1920's songs and meant nothing more than 'courting someone'.

Obviously someone, somewhere started changing what they meant by the words 'lover'/ 'making love' and it gradually caught on with the general public.

I think it utterly fascinating to see these changes happen. It shows that history is an ongoing process, that things are constantly in flux and we never know where things will end up or what will happen. I suppose some people hate even the smallest bit of change or uncertainty. You don't have to like it, but it does seem, from all the evidence, a process that cannot be halted.

I see heteroflexible and bi as being more or less as the same- you are having or had sex with both sexes in the past. The frequency of encounters is kind of a gray area. One person might say a few same sex encounters suggests something less than bisexual so they see themselves as something somewhat less than bisexual. Everybody is entitled to define their own sexuality, but if you want to clearly give meaning and define sexual placeholders then past and current behavior is the best way to do it.

I think it utterly fascinating to see these changes happen. It shows that history is an ongoing process, that things are constantly in flux and we never know where things will end up or what will happen. I suppose some people hate even the smallest bit of change or uncertainty. You don't have to like it, but it does seem, from all the evidence, a process that cannot be halted.

Very nicely said agracier. Change happens all the time, has happened.

@agracier: Not everyone is married, nor in a serious committed relationship.

Funny thing, all of the men I knew when I was active (I figure about 15) were married with families... a couple of reasons for this; it was during the AIDS scare and married seemed safer, they were also very horny types whose wives weren't into kink or as much kink, and how did not understand male fetishes such as pantie collecting... It seems to me that as some horny men get older they become herteroflexible, and even if they don't they become more tolerant of us... (there's another thread about men getting older..)

I'm homoflexible rather than heteroflexible - only ever met one dude I liked in that way.

To me, heteroflexible implies choice of disposition whereas bi sexual is an unchosen sexual attraction to either gender?

i grew up gay in a culture and era that didn't recognize "gay" as a life option (i.e., it was "sick" and/or "sinful). i ended up trying to choose not to be gay and that didn't work on any level. i'm guessing if i'd been heteroflexible, i could have chosen that without any real issue or harm: "I'm flexible." i have a bisexual friend who's been married to a man for 20 years and she doesn't have an issue with that either, though she still identifies as "bi."

idk, "flexible" just seems more of a choice than "both."

In my mind, heteroflexible is someone who is straight, very open and accepting to those who are not, and may possibly be open to trying a same sex relationship or encounter someday, but just hasn't yet for whatever reason.

I consider that "bi curious" to be in the middle of heteroflexible and bi, where "bi curious" is someone who has an interest in same sex encounters, but either hasn't actually gone forward and had one yet, or has has one or a few, but is still in "exploring" mode. And that one key transition from bi curious to bisexual is when you have a same sex encounter with someone that has led you to want to have another one with at least that person again.