Play exam without genital/rectal exam

It seems that most people here consider the genital/rectal exam a key component of a good play exam. Is there anyone who doesn't? Meaning, if a potential play partner didn't want to do those things, would that be a deal-breaker? I would very much like to participate in a play exam, but I have absolutely no desire to do those parts of the exam, either as a patient or as a doc -- I just don't think I could make myself do it. I know that play is all about the consent of both parties, but I wonder if anyone would even be interested in participating if that was where the line was drawn.

Note: I know about the personals section -- this is not meant to be a personals ad. I'm interested in getting people's take on this question. I'm not looking for meet-ups here

Interesting... personally I’d never consider NOT doing a genital/rectal exam. To me, that’s the good stuff!

For instance, if I were to meet a new woman, as just a play partner, I would want to do a gyno exam as part of our play. It wouldn’t have to lead to sex, or even me sexually stimulating her, if that’s not what she wanted, and hence what we agreed to. But if she only wanted a strictly clinical exam, without any genital inspection, then I’d have to say we were incompatible. As you say, consent is everything, so you’d have to find someone who shares your wants and limits.

Now, if I was in a relationship with a woman, and she wanted to try a non-gyno Dr scene, then of course I’d indulge her. Just as I’d expect her to indulge me if I wanted to play with her in other ways. In a caring, sexual relationship, you do things for your partners enjoyment, even if it’s not your thing, because you enjoy giving them pleasure, and fulfilling their fantasies.

As for people here, it might be tough to find someone who not only doesn’t want sex involved, but not even desire a genital check, as being exposed and embarrassed and ‘submitting’ their ‘privates’ to someone else’s view, is the thing that gets many off, even if the exam stays clinical. But everyone is different, and if you develop a good friendship with someone, then all it takes is asking!

I absolutely think you can have an exam without doing that part. For me, play exams are about the exam as a whole, not a lead up for the gyn exam as some people see it. And there’s nothing wrong with that either. It’s all about what the doc and the patient want/enjoy in exams. There’s nothing mandatory.

So, yes, it is about consent of the two parties. But communication is just as important. You both have your ideas of what an exam traditionally consists of, but then you can change it and add/subtract whatever you want. That’s the beauty of a play exam. You just have to find the right doc/patient for you.

I absolutely agree with Patient Girl. It's the whole experience not just whatever you and your playmate want to do with private parts.

No genital/rectal exam, no playing with this “doctor”. You make an appointment with me you better be prepared for a THOROUGH genital/rectal exam!?

An afterthought: By saying I don’t think it has to be a lead up to the genital exam, I did not mean I don’t enjoy that part. I just appreciate the exam as a whole, and leaving out the gyn exam is just like leaving out a HEENT exam if you’re not into it. No biggie for me.

I’ve done play exams with both patients and doctors where we did not include it. It’s a part I really enjoy normally, but I get that it’s not part of everyone’s fantasies.

I think it’s good to be a little open-minded about pushing some comfort zones, but also super important to be clear about what’s in or out of bounds.

For myself i completely crave genital examinations, though i could leave the rectal exam, i enjoyed my first play rectal exam very much, thank you @rockdoc, others not so much, and i have some reservations,

my recent visits to the sexual health clinic have been rather dissapointing as i went thinking it would be a sure way of getting a genital exam, but no,

in my three play exams so far though i have found to my surprise that actually i find upper body examination and auscultation to be extremely my thing, and more satisfying than the reality of the genital exam that was not as extensive as that i had built up in my mind,

so i can appreciate where you are coming from

I've been a play doctor for a good number of years and have met with multiple female play patients over that time. And I’ve only ever done full medicals that included an intimate examination. If a woman had a special interest, like stething for instance, then I would focus on that for her benefit but the medical would inevitably lead to the gyn exam, and then on to orgasm. A play exam is pleasurable and it's normal for women to want the intimate examination and orgasm as part of their pleasure. Also the appointment would most probably involve some travel and take time and expense to organise and complete, so you would have to ask yourself if it is worth going to that effort for a very brief medical probably over in less than 20 minutes. And also ask what is the person's motivation in meeting with a play doc for something that could probably be easily achieved at a regular medical with a real doctor.

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I'm glad to hear that there are at least a few people who have been okay with leaving it out at times.

There are parts of the exam that I'm definitely into -- I would love to find a play partner to do really thorough heart and abdominal exams. There are other parts that I don't really care about either way, like HEENT or blood pressure, that I'd be totally up for doing or receiving very thoroughly if that was was my play partner wanted. But the "intimate" exams...I just don't think I could do it. Giving or receiving. I don't think it's just personal anxiety or body image issues: I'm not even interested in looking at pictures or watching videos of genital exams (realistic or sexed-up). They do worse than nothing for me -- they are a complete turn-off. For me, the best (most arousing) thing is just a good teaching video of heart or abdominal exam techniques with a patient I think is physically interesting.

This is kind of private but we're on an anonymous forum so what the hell: I'm not really a sexual person. I think I experience this "fetish" differently from most people here. It's more of a fascination that is also somewhat sexually charged. By sexually charged I mean it's arousing, but not in a way that I would want to act on it with another person -- not with sex, and not with other forms of mutual stimulation. I honestly don't know what would be the ideal end point of a play exam for me, but I crave the physical contact of an in-person play exam with extended heart auscultation and abdominal palpation. With a real romantic partner (as opposed to a play exam partner), I could imagine that morphing into sensuous massage, caressing, kissing, things like that, but that's as far as it would go. I know that all those things are only the appetizer for most people here. Even if I were to manage to work myself up to giving a genital exam, I don't even really understand what the other person would want me to do. Like, I know in theory, but I have no idea what it's like to want something similar. It's just so completely not part of my experience that I can't imagine how I could ever manage to make it pleasurable for an exam partner. (Obviously, I realize that finding a real romantic partner who also doesn't want to be sexual would be difficult as well -- but such people do exist.)

So, I know that an exam within my (current?) boundaries would be totally unfulfilling for most people, and I completely understand that. I certainly wouldn't want to set someone up to be disappointed, or set myself up for something that would be so uncomfortable I wouldn't be able to go through with it. Like I said above, I don't even know what my ideal end point for an exam would be. For some people here it's sex, and that's cool. For others it's one person bringing the other to orgasm, and that's cool too. But for me it's neither of those. I guess ultimately I'm wondering if there is anyone out there who is as vanilla as I am, while still having this weird medical semi-fetish. Or at least who wouldn't see an intimate but relatively non-sexual (or non-sexualized) encounter as a waste of time

Please don't turn this into a debate about the technical definition of a fetish or of asexuality -- that dead horse has been beaten in another thread.

For me, genital exam is not a necessity in play exam.

It would be nice( for obvious reasons, that most sensitive body parts are involved) but I find other aspects of medical exams equally interesting. The authority of the doctor and the helplessness of the patient is a very cool situation to me. Every move, every word , every expression is interesting and does not have to involve genitals.

I think there has to be something in it for both parties, and whether or not having no gyno element would be a deal breaker would I guess depend on your play doctor. If he could get enjoyment from the other parts then it might not matter too much. For others I think the gyno part is the main part so for them it would probably not be worth it.

I'd need a doctor like @drphilip - someone willing to incorporate my needs (tonnes and tonnes and tonnes of stething and palpation ?), and in return I'd happily indulge him in his favourite elements.

But I totally understand that we all have different boundaries and 'minimum' and 'maximum' limits - I'm sure there are plenty who would be more than happy to forgo the gyno part 😃

Interesting thread with many interesting posts so far. Thanks for starting it, cesario, and for your follow-up post (#10). I'm very sympathetic/empathetic to your position, meaning that it's like my own position in a been-there (and done-that, or not-done-that!) way. 😃 I'm fairly sure that I have expressed some of this already on one or two other Zity threads. Hmm. In online (or serial-correspondence!) play exams here I have explored beyond where I initially liked to go (and then stop) - in order to oblige the other participant. And that has been instructive for me. I'd suggest to cesario that he be not the slightest bit concerned about where he's at now, because I'd say it's perfectly acceptable. On the other hand, cesario, don't allow yourself to think that in good time things might not change a bit! Keep an open mind!

- Ken

Genital exams aren’t something that are essential to me. While I like the outside looked at the inside is something that is almost always a hard limit for me anyway. I could live without the external too as long as the rest of the exam was great.

I get what you mean about it feeling intimate, maybe as opposed to sexual, I think that’s kind of what does it for me. I am a sexual person, but not really with penetrative sex. So the being touched and seen and heard, knowing someone is experiencing what’s going on inside me, is what does it for me. I don’t need s genital exam for that.

I also want my exam to be different from what I’d get at an actual doctors. A bit longer on some areas, exposing myself more and the odd touch in places the doctors hand maybe shouldn’t go quite as far.

Just a soft exam with the patient in front of the doctor in her bra/panties, or panties,

is as good to me as a complete exam with a genital part,

it does not allways has to be all the way

I find it exciting when there is a genital examination

Not a chance. I do not understand why anyone would want to play doctor without examining the private parts. To me, that’s ultimately the point. To each his own.

I have been a play doctor for years and the genital exam is usually the highlight of a play exam for most people. However, I believe a patient's wishes must be respected if boundaries are set. I have only ever had one patient come to an exam who said he did not want a genital or rectal exam as a part of that exam. However, when the basic exam ended, he then said he felt like he was up for a genital and rectal exam as well. I had never pushed or even asked him if he still did not want those exams. He apparently changed his mind during the play exam on his own terms. I feel that since that was his first ever play exam, he was probably very nervous about having a total stranger see him completely naked and to touch his private parts. I was pleased to think that my exam of him had been enough for him to trust me that I would be very professional about it all. He was 24 at the time and returned for many more play exams, and from there after the genital and rectal exams were always a part in his future exams and he never brought up that subject about not doing them ever again.