One of the things i do enjoy is soliciting pvt chats in chat rooms and learning from others how they got into the kinks and sexual lifestyle that they are into now. In the chat room, I may ask something like "anyone get into something after initially being forced, pvt me", "anyone ever gotten tied up unexpectedly by surprise, pvt me", ""any unexpected surprises happen during a meet up, pvt me" - something like that, to draw out stories from folks willing to chat about their experiences that led them to be the way they are.
Realizing that some accounts could be fictionalized and trying to detect those that are, i see in a lot of cases that the person has nothing to gain by making up certain stories. I feel I've learned a lot from people from doing this. Basically the chats revolve around me asking questions, like a psychologist would. So the focus tends to be on them and their stories about their experiences.
Some of the things I've learned include:
- many guys getting their start in homosexuality from a neighbor or a relative, usually an uncle, when they were at a young age.
- many folks (both genders) getting into anal sex, being gang banged, or homosexuality activity after having been raped (as they consider they had been) where they felt their boundaries had been violated. But at some point, they discovered that they were enjoying or did enjoy the sex act itself In many cases where their coping mechanisms include a desire to try to re-live, re-experience, something similar to the actual rape, only with them in more control of the experience
- many guys who have had relationships with clergy when they were young, and were okay with it them and are okay about it now as they've aged into their 60's and 70's. That for every case that has been reported where it damaged someone's life, there seem to be many more that were not reported. And in some cases, where the teen may even have been the aggressor.
And I've gotta say, you can learn so much from doing your own independent research, as opposed to just going by the limited information the media has. Folks don't even realize how limited the media is in bringing a full picture of how things really are, as a lot of folks opt to remain discreet about things. So the media never gets to learn about things that are contrary to what they tend to report. Which in turn, leads me to believe folks who rely solely or heavily on media for information are misguided as to a full picture reality of how things really are.
So a lot of the process starts out as soliciting an issue, to feel folks in the chat room out for who wants to open up and chat about what may be very sensitive issues. After all, they're there to chat. And like a psychologist or counselor, i tend to ask a lot of questions about how something felt to them while they were experiencing what they were experiencing, and how they feel about it now as they look back on it, particularly if they now have children themselves.
As folks here tell you about how they got into medfet, usually drawn from actual experiences when they were younger, A lot of our influences to what are into now tends to be the result of experiences we had when we were younger, that left an indelible impression on us as we grew older and became honest with ourselves as to who we are and what we enjoy.
I don't know I would characterize it as a "psychology fet" necessarily, though I do feel like a psychologist or counselor as i draw others out in private chats. But I find it all fascinating.