First I want to say I am a bit confused to your response to Faith. I tried to read between the lines (something I am usually very good at) of Faith’s response and I may have overlooked something but she did not seem to imply anything other than what you, yourself stated.
I am going to answer your question anyway,perhaps along with the accurate advice from @Wet & @Faith it will help someone else with the same questions.
I am by no means an expert on this topic but from being here and dabbling a bit myself,I think I have acquired some good, sound knowledge from some amazing people here.
Every D/S relationship is different as are the dynamics. The things that remains a constant though, is that the Sub, always has a right to ultimately refuse and or stop at any time. That is to be 100% respected with no repercussions for doing so.
Let me back up for just a minute and say that there should be some lengthy discussions with the Sub & dom prior to any scene or relationship they may have. Goals and expectations should be clearly made. What does each person want to accomplish? Is it just for play or part of a more intricate relationship? Are you looking to be under the care of someone or want to be held accountable for your actions, bad habits, reach certain goals, etc. The list can go on and on.
Not only should all of this be discussed at lenght but a dom should get to know their sub. Along with what Wet & Faith said, a dom needs to know when and where to push, to help their sub get the best out of the experience.
There should be a great trust between and mutual respect between the two.
A dom should expect their sub to “obey” and not just refuse because they just didnt feel like going through “it” at the moment. By that I mean it should not be abused on the subs part.
I think the most important part, as with any relationship is that there always needs to be ongoing communication.