*I think this is the right area to post this?
Just curious if anyone wants that to happen to them. Its happened to me 3 times. Part of me doesn't enjoy some of what happens like being trapped inside a building not being able to go outside when I want but mostly the part where the cops Knock on my door is kinda scary but once talking with them im ok, or worrying about rent cause i cant work but i always catch up, another part of me is embarrassed for craving it and liking the care and attention or lack there of sometimes. Some medical staff are pretty mean off bat because of the reason im there, they are quick to react and not patient at all like they want to escalate the situation when when im not doing anything by not explaining there demands so I say no then using force .and some are so kind. I dont know how to explain it but being locked in a ward, restrained and sedated, being talked to like a child, labeled mentally unable to care for myself , being in custody of the state brings me so much comfort, life overwhelms me. Part of me wants it to happen over and over again. i meet awesome people in there its like I fit better in there than the outside world. I could never call the hotline again. It makes me feel shame when the cops know i called the hotline and they say well you called that hotline. Its like im asking for it and i hate that, i dont want no one to think i want this and its just embarrassing when they think that. Does anyone have a real want to actually commit someone over and over again? Having that power over someone, is that a thing? Or want that for themselves? Is this taking to far? Unhealthy? I just wanna talk someone else who feels something similar to this? Is this similar to anyone else's medical fetish, i know some people make there fetish a reality.