I haven’t had one, but from what I’ve looked into— it’s up to you. Personally, I’d want it to be like a real exam with the only exception being that my partner is there getting an exam, too. But otherwise.. I want it to feel professional. If there was a breast exam that lasted a little longer, or someone watching me/my partner undress vs doing it in private, I would welcome it. I would follow the doctor’s instructions just like I normally would, and I would leave it up to them if they did a little extra, but I wouldn’t ask for anything that would be super out of the ordinary and I wouldn’t want to feel like they “broke character“. Medical terminology being used, I’d still want all the heart rate checks and everything leading up. My partner and I just love hearing about one another getting exams and seeing pics— he’s been in the room for mine, but it would be harder for me to do that with his and we are trying to replicate that experience. Doesn’t hurt that the doctor would be into it, too.
We have, however, talked to play doctors that would do extras- inserting an enema, examining more thoroughly than normal, not using gloves, being intently sexual… all of which we love to watch but are a little more specific about how we want ours to be done personally.
I would say to figure out what you want and post something very specific, or if you want it to be a surprise, be general about it. It’s your preference and you might be surprised if you don’t know what you want and you talk to a role doc with experience that tells you what their typical exam looks like. Good luck, and I’d be interested to hear about it if you follow through