My wife wants to go with me to my urology checkup...thoughts?

I had some issues months back and several tests. Everything is good now. When I got the reminder my wife asked if I wanted her to come. I said that she could if she wanted to. She says that she does want to, maybe ask questions. I'm really excited about it, but also a bit hesitant. My urologist is female...former military so very matter of fact. Not sure what might happen. Anyone else had that?

I had some issues months back and several tests. Everything is good now. When I got the reminder my wife asked if I wanted her to come. I said that she could if she wanted to. She says that she does want to, maybe ask questions. I'm really excited about it, but also a bit hesitant. My urologist is female...former military so very matter of fact. Not sure what might happen. Anyone else had that?

This is a no bullshit reply.

You guys are ridiculously and absurdly obsessed with the sex of your physicians when you post here. YES, you are.

You always seem to say my female physician, my male physician but usually FEMALE physician, partly to make it sexual when you post here. Don't lie, I know what goes through your minds. When you speak to other professionals I bet you don't say my FEMALE physician said such and such, you say my PHYSICIAN said such and such. so lets cut the bullshit.

Now, to get to your basic question. Your wife, unlike most men who simply have licentious, prurient reasons for wanting to attend their wives' and girlfriend's exams, your wife is probably interested in your health and wants to help you by taking notes, having an extra set of ears to listen and asking questions you might forget to ask and/or writing things down that the doctor says.

Have her accompany you to your exam. Having her there will be an asset.

No Bullshit either.

I only mentioned that my urologist is female in that it might be uncomfortable for my wife. I was molested by a male doctor as a kid so I ONLY see female physicians. It just happened that the closest urologist in our network is female. I was very fortunate. My wife knows how I am with any doctor exams so she always offers to go along foot support, but I have opted to to just tough it out. This time I said yes because she really does have questions she wants to ask. Doctors are a sexual trigger for me, my nervousness is all in my head. The difference with this revolves around my wife being present in this weird mental space for me.

I went to ob gyn appts with her when she was pregnant but that was at her request.

My post wasn't some veiled 3-some fantasy.

I sincerely doubt your wife will find the situation uncomfortable because the physician is a woman. I expect she will take it in stride and not give it a second thought.

In answer to your question at the end of the original post asking what might happen, very likely just the same as if the doctor was a 65 year old male. In other words just the procedures appropriate to the situation. For the life of me I don't see what different the gender of the physician makes. You should care more about professional skills than about their sex. As usual Susie is right on the button. Be thankful that your wife cares enough to go along.

If there are issues or potential issues it is always good to have someone else there to remember things, including what questions to ask and what the doctor says. It is almost guaranteed that no matter what the doctor does (which will be what is needed and probably no more, doctors are now working to minimize embarrassing and uncomfortable parts) she will have had worse done to her. Though I never really saw anything (I was up by her head most of the time) watching my wife go through pregnancy, labor and delivery impressed very strongly on me that I really can't complain about anything that happens to me as being unusually embarrassing, invasive, or uncomfortable.

I don’t think your wife will mind a bit that your Dr. is a woman.

Susie: You made an awful lot of assumptions. None of which would fit my way of thinking. First of all, my wife has always wanted to sit in on a thorough exam of mine. (My doctor is male), simply because she loves to see the embarrassment I experience when I am examined, especially the genital or rectal exam. Truth is . . . Sometimes women have ulterior motives. Just a fact of life!

A former GF once accompanied me on a visit to my urologist - just as I had, on one or two occasions, accompanied her on her visit(s) to her GP. She also accompanied me on a visit to my female specialist doc for the review of my colonoscopy. I had been referred to her after complaining to my GP about occasional sharp pains accompanied by bleeding from my colon. The colonoscopy (I was awake to watch the screen) showed visible ulcerated tissue that was attributed to former sessions of radiation therapy for prostate cancer some eight years previously. I was informed (with my GF present) that, if the pain and bleeding continued, I'd be recalled to her for a "steroid enema." That never happened 😢 , because I immediately began taking coffee enemas at home on a religiously daily basis - for both the regular cleansing effect and for the additional benefit attributed to coffee enemas. The stabs of pain with bleeding never again occurred, so I didn't revisit my butt doc, until called in three years later for my next colonoscopy. I was subsequently informed that, this time, no trace remained of the former diseased tissue. The particular GF throughout this era was one of the rare few who, sad to say, was of the anal retentive variety and had no real interest in enemas; however, I unabashedly had mine with her being present.

For routine exams my wife does not go with me. But, if there is any kind of issue she wants to be present. I've often said most women can take 30 minutes to tell what was said during a 3 minute conversation while most men can relay the contents of a 30 minute conversation in 3 seconds. She does not want my shortened version. She definitely went with me for my urologist appointment prior to, after after, a prostate biopsy as well as before and after a radical prostatectomy. I'm glad she cares enough about my health to want to go with me.

I think it is great your wife wants to be there to support you. Having another person there to ask questions is a big asset A second pair of ears will help. There may be questions she has you may not thought of that will help with your health.

Devil's advocate here. She's "concerned...wants to maybe ask questions..."

Yeah, no. This is latent jealousy and insecurity, and she just wants to make sure your (FEMALE, all caps for Susie) urologist isn't going to make you sprout wood on the exam table, or worse, spontaneously dump the kids on the floor hands free.

I sincerely doubt your wife will find the situation uncomfortable because the physician is a woman. I expect she will take it in stride and not give it a second thought.

Have to disagree (politely). Based on OP's previous statement:

Doctors are a sexual trigger for me, my nervousness is all in my head. The difference with this revolves around my wife being present in this weird mental space for me.

, this is EXACTLY why she's asking to attend the examination. Yeah, maybe she's worried you might have functionality issues, or long term health risk "down there" but c'mon - that's not it and you know it, or you wouldn't be asking. And oh by the way, chances are VERY good the female doctor will ensure there's a chaperone (nurse, orderly, intern etc) in the room when she's examining you anyway. Mine always does as a matter of clinic policy (and yeah, sadly, the chaperone is a male). And you can always request one.

Tell the "concerned, interested, question having" Mrs. that and watch her hamster wheel start spinning. She has no fucking right to be in that examination room. Remember "my body my choice?" It works both ways. Tell her to fuck off already, or you intend to be present at each and every one of her future pap smears and pelvic exams. (INB4 "she'd probably like that" from countless other Zity members).

On the other hand, it could be an opportunity to rack up yet another illicit Zity-worthy public boink session. After the exam is over, lock the exam room door, put HER in the stirrups, practice your pelvic exam techniques and knock the bottom out of it before the nurse comes a knockin'...

Then you know, tell us kinksters all about it here...

It is good that your wife wants to do that, it seems that she cares about you. I mean she most likely will have some questions for the doctor, which you might forget, try to avoid, or she might noticed other health problems that you think are nothing to worry about.

Have you asked what questions your wife wants to ask. Perhaps she just wants to take notes on what's said. I see allot of doctors and when my wife asked to go with me it turns out she thought her taking notes would be helpful - and it really has been.

Mine tells on me. If I added some salt once she makes it sound like I pour the whole salt shaker on every time. I'm 80 years old and I've spent my whole life eating whatever I want and like. I don't plan on changing now. I feel great I have nothing wrong that keeps me from enjoying life. I'm physically able to do everything I want and I think I'll keep on doing what I'm doing because it seems to be working quite well. Although I do miss a lot friends because they are DEAD. But I keep making new ones. We sit around wondering how come we're still here.

I had an inguinal hernia repaired recently and my wife wanted to go with me to the follow up appointement with my female surgeon. I had lots of swelling and discoloration and my wife was very concerned with these. I really didn't have a problem with my wife going to my follow up exam before I actually went. However, at the exam my wife watched as I droppd my pants at the surgeon's request and I was sporting a pretty good semi erection. I was a bit surprised because before I dropped my pants, I didn't realize I had a woody, I guess because I was experiencing a lack on feeling in my groin area, maybe becuase of nerve damage or maybe because of the swelling in my groin area. So I was surprised that I had a woody that both my female surgeon and my wife saw at the exam. The surgeon was very professional and just ignord it and proceedd with the exam. My wife didn't say anything but her eyes became very wide and she became very attentive to what the doctor was doing. I later learned that my wife was embarrassed for me and that she was a little embarrassed herself. For the record, the surgeon said that I was healing nicely and that the swelling and discoloration would eventually subside.

I think, in retrospect, that my wife won't have asked to go to the follow up appointment if she knew what was going to happened, so it is something for a guy and his wife to consider if a guy goes to a doctor to have his groin area examined and his wife wants to attend.

I had seen few time while working with urologist, wife/girlfriends coming with their husbands/boyfriends to urology checkup. Every time they would ask doctor if its ok to enter exam room. Never heard doctor to deny this request. I believe you guys should go with your wife/girlfriend to urology checkup or any other checkup if you better half asks for it, as its great to have moral support while visiting doctor. Also want to say this all female who go to their husband/boyfriend medical exams: support him, as some guys could be quit shy about talking medical issues, also never tease/laugh if you witness your guy getting rectal/prostate exam from doctor, especially male.

I am always willing to have my wife with me. She "keeps me honest" (I don't actively lie to the doctor but I might keep quiet about things), provides another viewpoint on anything going on, another person to ask relevant questions and remember what the doctor says, and I figure I can't complain about what I might have to go through because I've seen her give birth.

Don't have routine urology visits though.

My wife is always in the exam room with me. She’s better at asking the right questions and remembering the answers than I am.

As both @Deviant1 and I have mentioned in several posts, we attend pretty much all medical appointments with each other. Primarily, this is so we can serve as each other's advocate and a second set of eyes and ears. No one, not even a trained medical professional, is capable of remembering all salient points of a visit without writing them down. So we each take notes for the other - we have an Android tablet that we take along for this purpose, and we fill in gaps in each other's conditions. Dev, for instance, might not remember how many times he's been up at night to use the bathroom, but I do, because I'm a light sleeper. 😃 I might not recall how many days my pelvic pain has been really bad, but Dev does, because he helps me with it.

And there's also the fetish aspect of it, for both of us enjoy seeing the other be examined, and both of us also enjoy the other seeing us be examined. Well, more so me than Dev on that second part. 😉

I go to all my wife's Doctors appointments. She has occasionally sat in on my appointments when we scheduled back to back appts with the same Dr. We always have a typed list of issues we want to discuss, and provide recent BP readings we've taken at home. Our doc is very good at filling out a complete after-visit report so we seldom need to take notes. I've been in the room during Pap smears, urodynamic studies, even a endoscope once.

I’m a 70 y/o retired US MD, and my 2 ex-wives and several GFs in between have all known of all my 5-6 personal kinks and most except my 1st wife/mother of my children were delighted to share them with me in bed. I have various annoying but non-lethal urology problems too, including nearly complete ED, and my wives and GFs are completely welcome to come to any appointments with any of my docs they like. I WISH my urologist could cure that!!!!! It’s frankly more interesting and even fun for her to be there.

Eric,MD

P.S. Viagra type drugs used to help my ED 10-15 yrs ago but not any more. 👎🏻😢

I attend all of my sub's doctor appointments - PCP, cardiology, and nephrology. He has memory issues especially with all the jargon and information, which is new to both of us, that can be given at these appointments. This guarantees that what is said can be remembered or atleast the notes and findings can be looked at later.

I attend all of my sub's doctor appointments - PCP, cardiology, and nephrology. He has memory issues especially with all the jargon and information, which is new to both of us, that can be given at these appointments. This guarantees that what is said can be remembered or atleast the notes and findings can be looked at later.

@MissStress,

Glad you’re there. I agree about having your extra brain there to understand and soak up data. Aside from other beneficial reasons, I like to have my SO there because I have a truly atrocious memory, so another friendly caring brain is good to have around.

Eric

Take her. She may have spotted issues you don't realize you have.

MO

A nagging look can also persuade one to be a bit more honest confessing what issues you are having. Sometimes being honest can help get issues diagnosed. Get one the help to get better.

@Spark19 Did you have the urologist visit yet? Did you go with your wife? Anything happened?

It’s wonderful that your wife wants to go with you, take a breath, don’t over think it.

I'd cut a deal with her: you can sit in on my urology appointment if I can be in the room for your next visit to the gynecologist. 😉

My old GF went with me to many appointments and procedures. She was very good at getting the truth out of me and always knew how to handle the after care.