Did the first person you had intercourse with - Penis In Vagina - know you were a virgin?

Can't I do both? 😃

No. At the time she didn't ask and I didn't volunteer it at the time. It didn't seem important (at the time). It became important much later.

Yes, I did tell her eventually...about 15 years later. We had dated for three years after that first time, got engaged for another year, got married and had our first and only child three years after that. Four years later after our son was born, I discover that she was having an affair with some guy (a grad student) that she rode the bus with.

We were in the middle of our divorce and on this particular day, I had brought our son out to her mom and dad's to do our joint custody exchange.

She had left me and then allowed the guy she had gotten involved with move in with her. In addition to being seven years younger than us and not being a father, there were some issues that my son had revealed to me about his behavior that I thought needed to be addressed. Anyway, I was civil and direct, pointing out that she wouldn't tolerate that kind behavior from me, so there was no reason to allow him to behave that way. And more importantly, I made it clear that I wouldn't tolerate it as our son's father. I wasn't afraid of her boyfriend but he was certainly afraid of me.

Anyway, she got defensive and tried to deflect the whole issue by justifying her life and her infidelity that was right there in front of us and she countered that she felt justified in her behavior because I had gone off and slept with my high school girlfriend (after I graduated from the university some 13 years prior to this conversation)...or at least that is what she thought because, now get this, I came back and we tried out some new sexual position that we had never tried before. Obviously, my former high school girlfriend had taught me a new trick. Moreover, I had been in contact with her since we had been married because I ran into my former girlfriend's mother and father when I was teaching a workshop in Richmond, VA.

Yes, I did see my former high school girlfriend after I graduated as I was trying to locate my brother who failed to show up for my graduation. And I must admit there was still a good deal of closeness between my former girlfriend and I. Everyone knew that and some of that circle of friends probably assumed that we were sexually intimate because we seemed such a good fit. She was witness to another part of my life.

"But I've never, ever slept with her."

My soon to be ex-wife was stunned. "But I thought....as close as you two were and how you felt about her...but your your mom said...."

"You were the first person I ever had sex with. I was a virgin." My wife had a hard time believing that. "You want to call ______ up and ask her? I'll give you the phone number and you can ask her anything you want about what our sex life consisted of." I did give her the phone number so she could call. My wife never did.

"But you were so good, I just though that you and _______ had slept together before we met." That's when we got into how I got "so good."

Cosmopolitan. I still have one of the books that taught me a great deal. And that sexual position she held as proof in her accusation, you guessed it: straight out of Cosmopolitan. My mom had a subscription and while I was searching for my brother, I was at my mom's apartment when I came across and article on sexual positions to spice up your sex life. My soon to be ex-wife had carried this around for a long time.

Of course, my wife asked me why I didn't sleep with someone I cared about so much.

It wasn't for lack of wanting to, I really did want to have her as my first sexual partner. "We would get to a certain point and then all of a sudden she'd just sort of stop and go cold on me. It would all bind up." I was frustrated but I didn't get mad about it. I just didn't understand it.

All my wife could say was "I'm so sorry, I just thought......"

In a lot of ways I was ahead of my time because I've always believed that being sexually involved is a mutual choice and mutual consent and that either one of us could withdraw our consent at anytime and for any reason or no reason at all. My high school girlfriend never gave her consent and it was clear to me that beyond some level of closeness and affection, there was a point she was not willing to pass. My wife, OTOH, wanted to jump my bones when we met. I suspected that we'd become sexually involved but I didn't assume that we would. But when we did, it was marvelous.

Anyway, when I drove away from her mom and dad's I felt, I don't know, relieved? It didn't change that outcome of the divorce, but it did end the accusation of me sleeping with my former girlfriend, or with anyone else.

A few years later after this conversation in my truck, my high school girlfriend explained it to me and it instantly made sense...she loved me, but to be with me in the way that I wanted would have been living a lie. She tried to live that lie with another guy that she met while she was in school because it was expected of her. He walked in on her with another woman and it did not go well. My high school girlfriend then met another wonderful woman and she and her same sex partner have been living together now for 30 years. I eventually shared that little fact with my ex-wife.

I was very young when I had intercourse the first time. It was very calculated on my part, it was not spontaneous at all. We discussed it for a couple of months before we did it. He was a study friend to day we would say with benefits. We kept track of my fertile days and planned it for the day before my period was to start. I used my mom's spermicide cream and "borrowed" the condoms we used on our vibrators. I already had a vibrator to the penetration was a non event. I remember he was very excited and he ejaculated as soon as he got halfway in. It took a month or more before he could mount and thrust for 30 to 45 seconds. It took him a year to reach a minute and a half! He remained my only sexual partner for over 7 years all the way through high school and college. Since I was having frequent intercourse with my friend, I tended to be a cold fish with dates in college. After about a year I told my mom and she took me to her Gyno to go on the pill but she did not want someone as young as I was on the pill so she fitted me with a diaphragm. There were a couple of other girls in high school who had a diaphragm but most just used condoms.

Dita

I was a junior in college when I had my first "real" sexual intercourse. We'd been dating for several months. We'd made out in my car, had "study dates" in my single dorm room where we progressed to getting undressed as far as my underpants and her panties, satisfied each other manually, dry humping, etc. I'd had no significant experience with girls until I met her. I found out from a friend in a fraternity that she was definitely not a virgin and hadn't bee for quite awhile. We had a study date coming up and I sensed an opportunity. I knew about condoms but was too embarrassed to buy them at the drugstore (they were behind the counter and you had to ask the pharmacist) so I asked a friend and he gave me one from his stash. The girl came over that night and after a short study period the books were put away, and we were down to underpants and panties, and then those came off, and I was laying on top of her and she opened her lags and my penis sank into her hot wetness and she kind of showed my how to move. Then I remembered the condom and stopped, and wanting to the honorable thing, sat on the edge of the put and put in on, rolled back over and it was heaven again but not as intense. After a few thrusts, she said, swear to God, that she was on the pill in a controlled study (the pill was new in the 60s) at the med school, and that I didn't need to wear a rubber if I didn't want to...she helped take it off my penis and then away we went. I didn't last long but it felt like I came forever. I felt bad because i was spent before she could orgasm and I'd read in Playboy that men should always make sure the girl cums too. We laid naked together for a long time before it was time for guests to leave. Sex turned out to be the defining feature of our relationship after that, which is why it was over by the start of senior year.

@Enema_Runner is sounds like your ex may be bipolar. My SO is bipolar and when she is having a spell she can connect the craziest of dots and there is just no telling her that she is wrong. And she will do the exact same thing, bring up something from 15 years ago. You may want to think about that next time you have to interact with her. Perhaps speak with her parents and see if they can try and convince her to get some help. She will never listen to you.

We were both very horny 18 year old freshmen at the University of Florida who had just arrived on campus two weeks earlier. On a warm September Saturday I was dangling my feet in the water while sitting on the side of the swimming pool next to my dorm building when I noticed a tall girl walk into the pool area. She had a plain face with some acne, but as she slipped out of her cover up, I had to stare at her beautiful, long, tan legs made to appear even longer by her string bikini tied hip high. I smiled at her as she walked down the side of the pool toward me. She amazed me by smiling back, and astounded me by sitting down right next to me on the side of the pool. She introduced herself as Brenda from West Palm Beach. Soon we were making small talk--she very easily and I nervously--as we splashed our feet side by side in the pool water. Then Brenda scooted closer to me until our hips touched, and she started playing footsie with me. We were both getting excited--I visibly. Brenda asked where I lived. We discovered, not surprisingly, that we lived on different floors of the same dorm building right next to the pool.

Then Brenda dropped an unforgettable bombshell. I don't remember our exact words. Brenda said something like, "I've never had sex before. Have you?" My pulse instantly shot up over 200. It was hard to talk. I can't imagine what my face looked like. I started to lie and act macho, but then I decided to admit that I was a math and computer nerd in high school and still a virgin. Brenda laughed. "Since my parents dropped me off here I've been getting more and more desperate to have sex", she said. "I really want sex right now. You too?" The answer was obvious from the growing bulge in the crotch of my swim trunks. I barely managed to get out a, "Yea, me too!", or something to that effect. We immediately stood up. Brenda walked over to get her stuff and get back into her cover up. I got my stuff, put on my T-shirt, and we left the pool area together.

Brenda's roommate was gone for the weekend and mine was not, so we almost ran hand in hand up to Brenda's dorm room. We kissed and hugged while standing on the small floor space between the two beds in her little room for maybe two minutes. Mad with lust we stripped off each others clothes and embraced in the nude. Brenda pulled me down with her onto her bed. I was rock hard, and Brenda was dripping wet when I touched her and pushed a finger into her. Then Brenda gently pushed by body away just enough to roll onto her back and wrap those long, beautiful legs around my waist. She used her legs to pull me into herself. She grabbed my penis and guided me into her vagina. At first I couldn't push very far into her. She said it hurt a little, but soon Brenda was telling me to push harder and she was pushing back into me with her body. I was slowly going in deeper. Suddenly I pushed all the way inside her. Brenda half screamed. I've never felt anything so wonderful. Our sex was very awkward at first, but in a few minutes we were moving well enough together to drive each other crazy. We celebrated afterward. We thought it was perfect, but that was just the beginning. We fucked three more times that weekend, and for the rest of that crazy, wonderful year we couldn't get enough of each other. Our sex just got better and better as we learned how to please each other more and more. Oh, Brenda, my first love. I so wish you hadn't flunked out.

My now ex husband was my first. I think I was about 32 years old or so. I wanted to save myself for someone I had true feelings for. I had had other boyfriends, but none seemed worthy of giving myself to. With my ex, I had deep feelings for him and plus I was sick and tired of being the only person in my group of friends that hadn’t had sex. He knew that I was a virgin and he tried to be slow and gentle with me, but it wasn’t an easy task for him. It took him a few tries (nights) to get me to loosen up enough. I know once, he left the room in frustration and told our friends it was like trying to f*ck a brick wall. I am small and rather tight down there. He finally managed to take my virginity, lol, but he sure had to work for it!

I had graduated college in June and was working in a hospital before going on my way to medical school.... There was a nurse who let me know she liked me and one Sunday after our shift was over, we headed to my uncle's house and to his backyard swimming pool. After we went swimming for a while, we headed to the locker stalls he had built in the garage (well, the same one actually). My uncle realized what was going on and slipped me some money for a room. She realized I was a novice and probably a virgin, but it was a fun way to spend the evening. We practiced a few more times before I left for school, but I never saw her again.

My now ex husband was my first. I think I was about 32 years old or so. I wanted to save myself for someone I had true feelings for. I had had other boyfriends, but none seemed worthy of giving myself to.

You felt they were "taking" something from you i.e., your virginity.

Didn't you ever feel they had something you wanted to "take" from them e.g., their penis and making them work to make you feel good?

You have to think like the Domme, boss or the one in control. I don't think there were too many boys who ever truly felt in control when we were in the sack. I pretty much ran the show--and they came back for more in spite of that. 😁

@reggind,

What I have not shared as part of this topic thread is that after our son was born, this wonderful sex life that I/we celebrated for more than seven years, went completely away.

It wasn't until much later that she figured it out; it was post-partum depression. She eventually married the guy she had the affair with. When she had her second child, the exact same cycle of feelings began to unfold. This time there was some intervention, but she did apologize to me. She destroyed a marriage in the process.

@SwitchableSusie, no it wasn’t that. I was not raised to think the way I do now. I wasn’t overly independent and up until about a year or two prior to having sex, I lived at home with my mom. That and I am painfully shy, although some people find it hard to believe. I am not usually one that goes up to strangers, especially guys, and just start talking. I am the person in the corner at a party, watching and hoping someone will come and talk to me first. A lot of it has to do with me being hard of hearing and lack of confidence in myself and what I hear. Since being with my verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive ex, I have tried very hard (and been doing pretty good at it) to not be that way anymore. I am not the same person I used to be and I am getting my Domme on here and there and enjoying it!

I was a late bloomer and moved out to a giant apartment complex near the college which was a drug infested, orgy loving continuous party. My friends sister lived upstairs and I knew several guys that had slept with her. To make a short story longer than it needs to be, she got me in the sack and my lack of experience had to be readily apparent. Looking back on it I did everything wrong you could do, but she took one for the team and I was a quick learner....

My sub/husband was my first at the ripe old age of 21. I don't remember how it actually went. Probably a bit of a mess.

We were both virgins and knew it about each other. I knew only the bare bones basics and she wasn’t much more aware of how to do it. I was staying the weekend at her home ( parents gone of the day). I recall she was very tight and it was a bit painful for me when I broke through her hymen. She was also having her period, which made it safe for us to have sex, not having any condoms. It wasn’t too messy, but there was blood.

I knew nothing about female orgasms. I thought women had them just like guys did, if you had sex you had an orgasm. She told me it did not work that way but did not further enlighten me. We dated for about six months with repeat performances using rubbers. No great shakes, but it was sex.

I never told her, before during or after. I was 20 at the time, which for the 1980s was a pretty late start. She had told me she was already pregnant (true) before we even started dating, so no condom and I was just glad to make it to the five minute mark before blowing up inside her. An honorable first session, and I wore a shit eating grin for a week after that.

I had just turned 17 when I lost my virginity to my 18 year old girlfriend. She knew I was a virgin, and I knew she was not. It seemed to turn her on to know she was my first. She also gave me my first blowjob, a few weeks before we had sex for the first time. We had some fun times!

I was 20 and it happened in my dorm room. She did not know and I didn't mention it. She obviously was not. It wasn't until years later that I told my first wife when we shared with each other how we lost our virginity.

I told her, but only after we did it, she was not a virgin, but not much experienced

Yes at the time I was 16 he was 17 and a virgin too it was kind of ackward looking back but fun and we got better at it as time went on.

I was 21 and just got married and my husband knew i was a virgin.

Virtually, Yes, we had just married after 3 solid years of friendship. We still like to recall those first moments and few days. Anyone needing situational advice could get it from us and do well, as we have for almost 60 years, all put together.

I mean isn't this important because from at least from what I have read from romance novels the guy definitely better know she's a virgin so they can take it slow.

@UncleO Can't you get pregnant on your period?

Well, in 1968 reliable information about sex was rather difficult to come by. Odds are favorable during a period for not conceiving and that was the rationale. I started using rubbers soon after anyway.

Subsequent sex partners were either protected by the pill or an IUD. By the way, I hated IUD’s because they hurt when my cockhead rubbed against the string. Wearing a rubber helped avoid that, boy was that a painful lesson to learn.

Caresabout health, is a friend of mine here and has said an understatement.

On zity, I have read about various anal first timers, yet do not recall much said from first time vaginal receivers. While not female, my best friend is and has discussed her "FIRST" over and over as she gets wound up.

Yes he knew. We had dated for years. When I finally let him it sucked. I knew my sister was not a virgin along with all my friends and her friends. I was 17 and finally decided to find out what the big deal was about sex. I can tell you that once the pain was over (when my hymen broke) it felt good for about four seconds. He had an orgasm as soon as he was in. The whole thing took like two minutes and it was over. That left me wondering what the big deal was. After that my room mate showed me. It was days later and we had some guy friends over. This was while we were in college. We were not old enough to buy alcohol but these guys knew someone. They came over and after drinking a bit the guys you could tell what was on their minds. So we told them we were lesbians. Of course they wanted to watch and we said no. They didn't believe us so we started kissing and then had them leave. One thing led to another and pretty soon we were going at it and I was having orgasm after orgasm. That is when I realized that penetration and licking etc. does feel great and what the big deal was.

I was in college. I sought out a prostitute in Paris. She knew full well I was a virgin and was very helpful to me.

I was a virgin, my girlfriend, now my wife, claims she was but there was no evidence of it.

They knew ahead of time that I was a virgin... The thing that wasn't clear though is that he lied about also being a virgin but I found out later that was not true.

We both were virgins