I respect countries with the laws, however, it must be so hard to keep it inside when all you want to do is talk about it.
I am a male not a female but I just want to wish you all the best in finding a girl to really help you along with your fetishness.
I struggled with my fetishness because I thought I would be perceived as someone who is not well or who is a freak in some way. Only when I researched on the Internet did I learn that it was more common than you think. Before the Internet though, I thought I was very much alone I felt scared and quite angry. What would a stranger think of me? I kept my fetish to myself and I felt I was punishing myself. I just need to accept this and I am still new to talk to people about it.
I wish you all the happiness with you.