This is a recollection of a real exam I had when I was 32. I have been encouraged by a friend I met here to write it up and post it. It wasn't the experience that started it all for me (those were exams when I was younger..specifically, an exam I posted about for my college entrance clearance.) Enjoy!
I was sent a medical clearance form for an upcoming work assignment and told to take it to a local clinic for completion. The form had a section for vaccination and medical history and a place for the doctor to document they had examined me, indicate if I was fit for the assignment or not and a place for comments.
I found a clinic about 15 minutes east of where I lived and made an appointment. The clinic was in a small strip mall with a dry cleaner and some other random small businesses. Like the other businesses, it was all glass in the front with stenciling on the glass indicating the services it offered: urgent care, occupational health, vaccinations, etc. There was a neon "OPEN" sign lit up next to the entrance.
I entered the front door and signed in at the reception desk. There were no other people in the waiting area that afternoon and a TV was on in the corner of the room. The receptionist took my medical form, made copies of my ID and gave me registration and history forms to complete. I completed the forms and turned them in to the receptionist and waited. There was a collection of magazines and health pamphlets in English and Spanish on the table next to where I sat.
After about 10 minutes, a guy about my age in scrubs came out and called me to the back of the office. We stopped at the scale where he measured my height and weight. There was a central work area where a computer and a phone were located near the scale. After being weighed, he had me read the eye chart at the end of the long hallway where the exam rooms were off of. I didn't see any other patients or a doctor around.
Then he took me into an exam room and had me sit in the chair. He checked my blood pressure, pulse and my temperature. He left the room, telling me the doctor would be in soon, closing the door behind him. I sat there, fully dressed, not sure what to expect. I heard the nurse talking with another guy (maybe the doctor?) outside the door. A few minutes later, there was a quick knock at the door, it opened and in walked the nurse. As he closed the door, he said "since this is a full physical, you'll need to get undressed", while he got some dark blue colored disposable exam shorts out from a drawer under the table. He handed them to me and said "take everything off-including your underwear-and put these on".
He waited until I took my shirt off, then said "have a seat up on the table when you're done. The doctor will be in soon." He left, closing the door behind him. I wonder if some guys didn't understand what 'everything off' meant and that was why he had to emphasize 'including your underwear' in his instructions?
Nervously, I threw my shirt onto the chair along with the blue shorts. They were made of dark blue fabric with a white piece of elastic at the waist. I removed my shoes and socks, placing my socks in my shoes and then placing the shoes under the chair. My feet stuck slightly to the cool linoleum tile floor. I undid my belt, took off my pants and laid them on the chair with my shirt. Standing there in only my white briefs, I took a deep breath and pulled them down and off...sticking them inside my pants. I'm not sure why I felt the need to hide my underpants in my pants. Now buck naked, I grabbed the blue shorts, stepped into them and pulled them up. The synthetic fabric was smooth and cool against my skin but they were very baggy. They seemed like an XL one-size-fits-all which were too big for my medium sized waist. They went down to about mid-thigh. Despite the elastic waistband, the shorts didn't stay up very well as I walked over and climbed onto the creaky exam table. The paper crinkled as I got onto the table.
I sat on the table, listening to the noises in the hallway outside...phone ringing, someone shuffling past the door in the hallway outside. The clinic was older and clean but definitely showing wear. The room was brightly lit with fluorescent lights on the high ceiling above. The exam table was on the side of the room, against the wall. There was the standard doctor stool with cabinets and a small sink opposite the exam table. The room smelled like antimicrobial hand soap.
A few minutes later there was another quick knock at the door. I felt a knot form in my stomach as the doctor entered. He was in his mid-forties, dressed in only generic business casual clothing with a stethoscope draped around his neck. He introduced himself then said "So, we are doing a full physical on you for a work assignment," as he leaned against the counter reviewing my form and chart. He asked me some questions then started with the exam.
The exam proceeded as others had in the past, starting with looking in my eyes, ears and nose with the lighted scope. After that was done, he got a wooden tongue depressor out of a drawer and had me open my mouth wide while he inserted the wooden blade and inspected my mouth and throat with the light. Then he had me move so I was seated at the end of the table and he moved to the side, positioning himself behind me. He felt my neck and Adam's apple as he had me swallow a few times. During all of this, he made little small talk interspersed with commands of what he wanted me to do for him to perform his exam...look ahead, open wide, say AHHHH, etc.
He then put the stethoscope into his ears and began to listen to my back. "Deep breath in...and out...once again.." the directions continued as I felt him move the stethoscope to various parts of my back. "Breathe normally," he said as he put one hand gently on my shoulder and moved to listen to my chest.. "Your heart is beating rapidly," he said as he listened. "Yeah," I replied "it usually does when I am nervous at the doctor". He patted my shoulder gently, "nothing to be nervous about, but that happens to some people. Your heart sounds strong and normal," he said as he put the stethoscope back around his neck.
"Go ahead and lay back on the table for me," the doctor said as he pulled the table extension out so my legs could stretch out. I laid back as instructed, feeling the paper tear underneath me. "Hands behind your head," he said as moved alongside the table. I did as instructed and the doctor gently felt my armpits, checking each one for swollen glands. "Everything seems ok so far...you can put your hands down now," he said as he put the stethoscope back in his ears. "Just relax and breathe normally," he said as he placed the stethoscope bell onto my neck, listening to each side. I lay there, watching the doctor work and sometimes looking at the bright lights above as he moved from my neck, to listen to my chest. Once done with my chest, he moved on and began listening to my abdomen. Starting in the upper parts and methodically moving downward. I felt my stomach gurgle and knew he could hear it.
He draped the stethoscope back around his neck. "Just relax your belly," he said as he began to firmly press on it, starting just below my ribcage. My tummy is extremely sensitive and this part always started to get me more nervous. Also, there was the anxiety and anticipation of what would come next and how detailed he would be getting. As the deep pressing on my tummy continued and his hands moved lower and lower, I felt my penis shift and start to stiffen in the blue shorts.
"Go ahead and lower these now," he said as he tugged at the waistband of the blue shorts then walked over to the counter. I lifted my hips slightly and pulled the shorts down to mid-thigh, exposing my semi-erect penis and contracted scrotum. The doctor came back over as he was pulling a glove onto his right hand. He placed his left hand onto my shoulder. "Just relax," he said as I felt him use his gloved right hand to firmly press on the left side of my groin to feel the femoral pulse and check for swollen lymph nodes. My now erect penis was in full view but I felt somewhat relieved as at least I was laying down so it was flat on my belly. He moved over and repeated the process on the right side of my groin. Without saying anything, he quickly moved his gloved hand down to my sac and grasped my left testicle, pulling it down into my scrotum and rolling it firmly between his fingers. He repeated the process with the right testicle. I looked at the ceiling as the doctor worked, definitely feeling the firm pressure as he examined each testicle. Releasing my scrotum, he stripped the glove off and threw it into a nearby trash can.. "Pull up your shorts and stand up for me," he said as he made notes on my chart. I pulled up the shorts and climbed off the table, relieved that was over.
"Need to check your joints and range of motion," he said. "Up on your tip toes, arms up over your head," he continued as he watched me move. "Feet flat on the floor, bend over as far as you can," he said as he watched me bend over. He came over behind me and ran his fingers down my spine to the waistband of the shorts. "Stand up now," he said from behind me. I stood up and felt him feeling my spine again. "Squat down as far as you can," he said as he moved in front of me. Doing all this in the baggy shorts was awkward as it always felt like they were going to fall down and my hard-on was flopping around very obviously as I did the exercises. "Stand up-then squat down again," the doctor said as he leaned against the counter, watching me follow his commands. "Lift your left knee as far as you can towards your chest," he continued watching as I wondered if he could see up the leg of my baggy shorts during these maneuvers. "Now put it down and do the same with your right knee," he said.
"Ok, stand over here now," he said as he pointed in front of the small stool.. I walked a few steps as I saw him go into the drawer and get two more gloves out and snap them on. "Time to check for a hernia, pull your shorts to below your knees," he said as he sat down in front of me on the stool. I was surprised as I thought he had checked everything when I was laying up on the table. I pulled my shorts down, my penis once again rock hard and sticking straight up.
"Don't worry about the erection, it happens to some guys," he said as he placed one hand on my hip and began to once again firmly feel all around each of my testicles, one at a time with his other hand. "Sorry..." I muttered as I felt my face flush. I'm sure I was beet red with embarrassment. Aside from going through this with the doctor, I wondered if the nurse could hear all this from his station and knew exactly what was happening to me right now...not to mention hearing the doctor comment on my erection.
Finished with my testicles, he released them and stuck his finger deep up into the left side of my sac. He was up there so deep I definitely felt the presence of his finger in my inguinal canal. "Turn your head away from me and cough," he instructed. I coughed and felt him move his finger slightly. "Again," he said as I gave another cough. He removed his finger, then repeated the process on the right side, finger up deep in my sac and having me cough again twice.
Completing the hernia check, he moved his attention to my stiff penis. "Any discharge from your penis or burning when you urinate?", he asked as he continued the inspection. He palpated it from the base to the tip, then using the thumbs of both hands, gently spread open my pee-hole. "No," I replied as I saw the small drop of accumulated clear fluid which was obvious when he examined the tip.
"That's good," he said as he got off the stool and went back into the drawer and got a box of purple gloves and tube of lubricant which he set on the exam table.
"Leave your shorts down, need to do a rectal exam...had that before?", he asked. "Yeah," I sheepishly replied. I watched him snap on a second purple glove over the first regular glove on his right hand.
"Stand here at the end of the table, feet on the outside of the little step, chest down flat, hands above your head...", he said as he patted the table top. I awkwardly went over, shorts still down as instructed, and started to get into position. To get in to position as told, the shorts were practically off and at the floor only around one ankle. Although they were baggy, my feet were spread too far apart on either side of the step to keep the shorts around both ankles. I felt exposed and wide open as I put my chest down. He could see everything...my hairy hole, my balls, my now semi-and soon to be fully-erect penis as he sat on the stool behind me.
I felt him place one hand firmly on my left butt cheek. I felt him spread my cheeks to inspect my crack and hole with the other hand. Then his hands moved away and I heard the noise of lube being squeezed out of the tube. I again felt one of his hands on my left cheek again and a cool, wet feeling at my hole. "Now just relax...and take a deep breath in..." he calmly instructed. I took a breath in... and felt his slick lubed finger quickly slide part way into my hole. "That's good...another deep breath..," he said. I took another and felt him go in deep. I grunted a little as I felt his finger start to move around and sweep my rectum. Then he hit my prostate... "Geez..." I muttered under my breath, as I felt a feeling like I was going to pee and my face get hot again. "Does that hurt?," he asked as he continued pressing on that spot inside me. "No...just...feels weird," I grunted out as I felt my penis pulse. I felt like I was leaking right there as he firmly palpated my gland. "Almost done, keep breathing", he said then I felt him pull out.
I quickly pulled up the shorts to cover my rigid penis. "Here's some tissue to clean up the lubricant," he said as he set a Kleenex box on the exam table.. I noticed a few drops of shiny fluid which had accidentally leaked from my penis onto the floor when I was bent over.
He stripped his gloves off and went to wash his hands. "You can get dressed now. Everything seems fine and I'll sign the form and give it to it the nurse.. He needs to come back in and give you a tetanus shot, so you might as well leave your shirt off," he said as he gathered my chart and the form. "Good luck with your job," he said cheerily as he left the room, closing the door behind him.
I stood there in the blue shorts, in a daze. I stripped them off...noticing the large dark wet spot which had accumulated inside and set them on the table. I wiped off the large amount of slick lube from my butt with the Kleenex and then put my underpants and pants back on. I was just tying my shoes when there was a quick knock at the door. The door opened and the same nurse came in with a syringe. "I'm going to give you a tetanus shot," he said as he grabbed some purple gloves from the box the doctor left on the table. Of course, the Kleenex box and tube of lube was right next to the box of gloves making obvious to the nurse what the doctor had just checked. My crumpled blue shorts were also there on the torn table paper. I wondered if the nurse had ever had to wear the blue shorts for a full physical at this clinic? How many other guys has he given the blue shorts to and told to put them on, knowing what they were in for?
"Have a seat," the nurse said as he gathered supplies. I sat down, my butt still feeling sticky from the lube. The nurse cleaned my shoulder with an alcohol pad as he said "Relax your arm." He gently squeezed my shoulder and I felt him quickly jab in the needle and a slight pressure as the vaccine got injected.
"All done," he said as he pulled the needle out and dropped it into a nearby red sharps container then applied a bandage to the puncture. "You can put your shirt on...your arm may be a little sore for a day or two," he said as I put my shirt back on.
"They'll have your form and vaccination record at the front desk. Have a good day!", he said as he left the room.
I gathered my stuff and left in a daze, shocked at what had just happened.