Using daughter's or sister's sex toy

This is going to stray off topic a little bit - but I need to say something here. @CJ1999 - although @SwitchabelSusie absolutely does not need me to say anything, I do have to say that I admire her for being so open with her daughters when they were growing, and now they have a healthy view of sex, and a good relationship between mother and daughters. That I think - is what it is supposed to be all about, keeping the lines of communication open between a mother and her children on EVERYTHING and be there to answer their questions, to be THEIR source of guilt free information.

Maybe - just maybe, if more mothers and daughters were as open about life, which does include sex, there would be a lot less guilt in this world, and fewer psychiatrists, and fewer politicians trying to control a woman's body. Trying on a catsuit -

Trying on an article of clothing is not their sex life. Besides, my daughters tell me just about everything.

When I read that - I was thinking, there's a daughter who has someone reliable to turn to about erotic things and sex. And a mother who will tell her - 'don't use someone else's toys, get your own! Here - here's my credit card, go to this place and get your own!' 😁

@CJ1999 I really do share your caution - about underage sex being discussed here, and there are some pictures here that show some pretty young men, probably boys who just barely turned 18, that make me cringe. But -

@CJ199

@SwitchableSusie , please don't answer this. Not only is it disgusting from a potentially underage point of view, but discussing your CHILDS sex life?? Holy fuck, can you get any more wrong than that?!?! I have a daughter and no matter what I know or don't know about her sex life it would never be discussed with anyone, anywhere, ever!

What if your daughter - came to Zity.Biz and talked about it with the rest of us, provided she was an adult?

I think you may be like my husband when it comes to our daughter- he takes off like a shot when she and I have our 'girl' talks. 😉 And lately @CJ1999 - she and I have been having 'talks' about enemas, fellatio, anal sex, and the list of things she is interested in just keeps growing. I wish like hell - that we'd had this kind of relationship a long time ago where we could talk about anything, and nothing was off limits. Better late than never - but still, there was a lot we missed out on, and 'girl talk' about sex is only a small part of that.

And for your information - my daughter is in her 30's with kids of her own, and I hope she takes it on herself to make sure that they can come to her about questions on anything, inculding sex. @CJ1999 you are so right about being careful where to discuss things - and I can't, I won't, fault you for that. How could I? But I sure will not ever - fault a mother for teaching her daughters how to have safe sex, and to answer questions about anything they are curious about.

@Lora_C My post might not have been worded the best, but I wasn't saying anything about anyone discussing things with their own children, it was about discussing their children with other people, or someplace like Zity. I agree completely that parents should be the 'go to' source for info when a child has questions. If people and parents could more freely discuss sex, it would be a lot better for those who are growing up. But no matter how old my daughter gets, I will still feel its 'icky' to share with anyone that she likes enemas or anal sex or whatever. I do strive to be a trusted source of information for my kids about sex, but in general terms though, not my specific interests and proclivities. And I will never shy away from an honest answer or make them feel bad for asking anything.

If they were to come here as adults, then so be it. Not sure I'd want to read it though.

And I just get really disturbed by the underage stuff.

@CJ1999 not a problem - at all, 😉

But @CJ1999

If they were to come here as adults, then so be it. Not sure I'd want to read it though.

I wonder if - this is a guy thing, or a dad thing, about not wanting to read or hear about their daughter's sex life? I think it is a good thing - but then again I am a mom, so maybe it's a dad thing?

When my older daughter models her corsets, catsuits or other "fun clothes" My husband knows what she's been up to. He even jokes about it to me, saying she looks like I did before we had children!

Both daughters have gone out of their way to go topless swimming in our pool while we were sunning ourselves on the deck. They just have no modesty, are obviously exhibitionists and are completely comfortable with their bodies.

They have been seeing the same boyfriends since high school and have been careful selecting their handful of other partners. They have a lot fewer partners than my husband and I did and our sex life began in the peak of the AIDS epidemic. They use lots of condoms.

But @CJ1999I wonder if - this is a guy thing, or a dad thing, about not wanting to read or hear about their daughter's sex life? I think it is a good thing - but then again I am a mom, so maybe it's a dad thing?

@Lora_C It might have a bit of 'dad - daughter' thing, but I don't want details of my sons sex life either. I'd say its more family related. I know my parents had sex and enjoyed sex, but I don't need/want to know that dad liked fucking my moms ass, and mom liked reverse cowgirl the best! No way, TMI! I guess because if I hear details, like friends or something, I will picture those people in my mind. And I don't WANT to picture my parents or siblings or children naked and having sex! It's pretty yuck to me. As I said elsewhere, I don't even consider my mom, sister, daughter as female, I don't look at their bodies as sexual... Just nope - they aren't women in my view.

But children are different, as I am not charged with preparing other female relatives for adulthood. So I do want to talk with them anytime they need it, but I think any answers should be general. I could give them an entire lecture on anal sex, health and safety wise, without actually saying that I love doing it or how I do it. And their questions don't necessarily mean they are partaking in anything; they are just questions. But I do realize that I may/will have to overcome this 'ick' feeling, and will happily do so in order to help them. Right now they are too young, so all of this is still in the future for me.

@CJ1999 said

.....So I do want to talk with them anytime they need it, but I think any answers should be general. I could give them an entire lecture on anal sex, health and safety wise, without actually saying that I love doing it or how I do it. And their questions don't necessarily mean they are partaking in anything; they are just questions. But I do realize that I may/will have to overcome this 'ick' feeling, and will happily do so in order to help them. Right now they are too young, so all of this is still in the future for me.

I hope you do overcome that aversion, and I give you credit for recognising it as a potential problem. You see that it is about your kids and not yourself.

However, many parents dodge the issue entirely, and expect the schools to provide all the answers. The trouble with that is that the schools also dodge the issue and expect the parents to provide all the answers. The result of that is no one providing adequate answers, perpetuating ignorance and yet another generation of people given the impression that sex is a taboo subject.

Answers should not be general. 'General' often means vague and unclear. Essentially, non-answers, and the person giving them will come across as evasive. I know that answering properly might entail talking about yourself a little, but again, it's surely worth remembering who is getting the benefit.

Answers should not be general. 'General' often means vague and unclear. Essentially, non-answers, and the person giving them will come across as evasive.

@DrZ Totally agree on that parents leave it to schools and schools want the parents to handle it. Its a viscous circle and I won't get into what religion does to this woefully ignored problem.

But I do want to clarify, I meant 'general' in the sense of not being specific to ME. I didn't mean being vague, or lacking in detailed information. So I would answer an anal sex question like this -

Yes, many people like and enjoy anal sex. It is important to go slow and communicate with your partner, warm them up first and use additional lubrication.

But I won't answer like this -

Yes, Mom and I both love when I fuck her in the ass. I always tongue her asshole first and then get the KY before sticking my cock inside of her.

@CJ1999 said

But I do want to clarify, I meant 'general' in the sense of not being specific to ME. I didn't mean being vague, or lacking in detailed information. So I would answer an anal sex question like this -

Yes, many people like and enjoy anal sex. It is important to go slow and communicate with your partner, warm them up first and use additional lubrication.

But I won't answer like this -

Yes, Mom and I both love when I fuck her in the ass. I always tongue her asshole first and then get the KY before sticking my cock inside of her.

Yes, I think that's a good way of going about it.

What has to be avoided is giving responses such as,

"You'll find out when you're older"

"Ask your teachers at school"

"Ask your mother"

I have to say, I have been specific with my daughters. They figured out we were kinky on their own when they were 12 and 9 and confronted us about our equipment room whose door they never saw open.

When they asked specific questions they got specific answers--Yes, your father and I had anal sex; Yes, I tied him up and flogged him--NOT "what your father and I have done is none of your business". To NOT be specific with an answer would be a lie. Hell, our older daughter (15 then) came home from a weekend party one day early because cocaine was in use and SAW my husband wearing only a leather hood and me naked except for a corset in the music room when I was flogging him as he was bent over tied to a chair. She even made a joke about my shaved pubes. I was very happy she came home.

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Yes, Mom and I both love when I fuck her in the ass. I always tongue her asshole first and then get the KY before sticking my cock inside of her.

I WON'T say we never said something like that when joking together in a discussion. You SHOULD be able to joke and laugh about sex.

@CJ1999

And their questions don't necessarily mean they are partaking in anything; they are just questions. But I do realize that I may/will have to overcome this 'ick' feeling, and will happily do so in order to help them. Right now they are too young, so all of this is still in the future for me.

Hey @CJ1999 - I get where you are coming from, I had 'mother-daughter' talks in general when she was growing up. I gave her the safe sex talks, even got her on birth control pills - all the general things to be able to have safe sex, from a purely physical standpoint. I wasn't wanting the details - and I wasn't giving out any details, because of what you are going through now. BUT @CJ1999 - I could have handled it a lot better, especially when she asked me how it felt, did I like it, and was she wrong for feeling that way about some things she wondered about with sex. After all - that was in the future, and believe me @CJ1999 that future will bite you right in the ass before you know it.

I just should have been more open with her - my youngest, daughter DD, when she actually tried to get me to talk about more than just the physical aspects of sex. My oldest daughter - well she knows it all, and could probably teach me some things. 😉 But with DD, she has some things going on in her marriage - and she saw her Dad and me, and she basically said, 'fuck that shit, I'm doing something now so I don't mope around.' DD is a fresh mouth kid - nosy as hell, persistent when she wants to know something, a snoop, a spy, and a royal pain in the ass, who, when she wants to know something, is a real pest. 😄 It did not matter to her - that I didn't know what I wanted, either, and then, MOMMA GOT HER KINK ON 😈 , and I found out what I wanted.

So @CJ1999 that daughter I raised - did hear me about the physical aspects of sex, how to fuck safely, not get knocked up, (like I did). She wanted more - and wanted that with her husband, a good kid himself, a saint for putting up with her spoiled ass. She ran me to ground - and drilled in with her questions, and wanted to hear it from me. It was time for me to - 'cowgirl up' and answer her questions, she is becoming more of a friend, but still my daughter. Not that this will make me rich - but she has 'outted' me to myself to her satisfaction, and basically, she asked for it. She had better not bitch about it either! 😁 😁 😁 And no way - no way am I paying for her therapy if she can't handle the kinky bitch that I am now. 😉

@CJ1999 - that 'future' may as well be next week, because it gets here that soon. You'll do fine - probably. 😉

@Lora_C Thanks for the advice, and sharing your experience. I am an 'old' dad, but obviously pretty damn kinky, so I will try to steer my kids toward safe and responsible sex, without judgement, answering truthfully to anything they ask. They don't say or ask much now, after the 'sex' talk in school, but I (and their mother) are trying to keep channels open and are hoping more comes to light as dating enters the picture. I swore I wouldn't forget what it's like to be a horny teenager, nor preach abstinence as the only solution trying to scare kids into submission - that has only been proven to fail! Good, thoughtful decision making is the goal of ALL parenting, no matter what the subject. I'm being tested now with 'attitude' and I know I have YEARS left!!! Help!! LOL

@DrZ Thx, yes, those will NOT be my answers, ever. My parents never hid from my questions, although I didn't have a GF until I was 17 and my older sister found 'religion' at 14 and stayed a virgin til she got married at 22. I doubt I'll be so 'lucky' as my kids grow up, but that is the challenge you accept when becoming a parent!

Since I am obviously not a mother, nor do I have a daughter, I suppose my two cent's worth is just that. I see a psychological, but no medical reason for not sharing. Most of the toys I've seen can be sterilized, so nothing would be transferred to the other user. On the other hand, I'm sure a lot of mom's don't add sex toys to their syllabus when teaching about the "birds & the bees".

My wife used her sisters dildo on me.

I have "shared" with girlfriends, and used my older sisters before moving out. No harm done. Switch I am very jealous you have an equipment room!!!! I only recently got on property ladder and barely space for a vacuum cupboard lol.

Interesting thread. I know when our daughter was 17 she and her mother had a discussion about sex toys. I wasn't around when it started but they reached an agreement that daughter should get a vibe rather than a dildo at that time.

A few years later after my in-laws both ( in their 90s) died my wife and her sister were cleaning out their bedroom and ran across their toy stash. They weren't terribly surprised that there were toys, but were surprised at the variety and volume they found. Amongst other things was a beautiful carved dildo which looked surprisingly life like albeit a bit larger than the average male. When they showed it to me I was surprised to note that it was carved ivory, obviously very old and very expensive. They were going to throw it out with the rest but I suggested not, and perhaps it could be donated to the museum in San Fransisco. Don't know what their going to do yet but I hope they don't throw it away. By the way there is no way either would use it, they touched it like it was some kind of poison.

I don't have a sister and my husband and I have so many toys that I never had to use one of my daughter's toys.

I know my daughters never used any of our toys because our equipment room is ALWAYS locked when we are not in our room.

My story is the reverse of the postulated question. My mom kept her dildo, with extra batteries, and condoms in the bathroom closet. Lord knows why but that is another story! She always put a new condom on it when she used it or washed it in the sink. Once in a while she would forget and leave it in the shower with a tube of her spermicide jelly. I knew what it was for and turned it on a couple of times to feel it vibrate but nothing more. When I started masturbating frequently right after I got my period temptation overcame good sense one day when I decided to give it a try. Of course I just used the vibrator function. At that time I would not even think about putting it inside me. I was hooked after one use. 100 times better than my finger!

So being logical and following my mom’s habit, I put a fresh condom on It after I finished because I knew it would freak her out if she used it after me without a condom change. The problem was I was blowing through the condom supply at a rapid pace. I am sure she noticed because another big box, I mean big box of condoms appeared beside the old box. She never said anything for about two months even though she had come into the bathroom when I was using it in the shower. I am certain she could hear it before I could turn it off but never said a word until one Saturday morning. She came in and I still remember the words “ hurry up and finish in there. I need my vibrator now! I guess we will have to get you one.” As soon as I turned the shower off she was in to get it. She ran back to the bedroom. When she finally came out apologized a bit but not much. I found out the next day when we were looking at a sex toy catalog to find one for me that dad was away on a business trip and they were having phone sex and mom needed some help.

I got my own in the mail about a week later. I think it was called a rabbit or something. Used it for many years until it died. Like my mom, I use a condom on my dildo.

My first girlfriend bought her mother a vibrator. Her mother was divorced and quite conservative. My gf figured her mom would never buy a vibrator herself, but she need some way of relieving her horniness. We never knew if she used it, but she never complained about receiving it.

I can possibly see it happening the other way around if someone "finds" their mothers toys but not the other way around.

If you suspect yours has been moved then buy them one of their or give them some cash to do it themselves.

When they were teenagers I purchased sex toys for both my daughters--dildos, floggers, deerskin corsets, vibrators, and gave them a few ropes for tying up their boyfriends that my husband (their father) had done a beautiful job whipping and finishing the rope ends. We do not have sexual secrets from our daughters and they don't appear to have them from us. Since they were kids, they told us about a lot of their experimentation.

One "toy" of mine I did use on my older daughter was a riding crop when she asked me for S&M and bondage lessons years ago. She wanted to know what it was like to be restrained because she wanted to tie up her boyfriend, so when she turned 18, I tied her spread eagled to her bed while she wore a string bikini for one hour. I sat on a chair reading a book where she couldn't see me. I told her to be absolutely still, not to talk at all and not to fall asleep. The not falling asleep turned out to be the hard part for her. I told her I would strike her with the riding crop on her breasts and vulva if she disobeyed my instructions. Her figuring out NOT to talk to say "OW" when I struck her took a few attempts on her part. I struck her a number of times and she said it was the longest hour of her life.

I have to admit that I have used both my wife’s and my daughter in law’s sex toys. Neither knew that I did. And I was very careful to clean them thoroughly when I was finished. There was something quite stimulating thinking where they had been.

I just ran across this topic again and saw this

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;msg=873881

@Lora_C said, "She wanted more - and wanted that with her husband, a good kid himself, a saint for putting up with her spoiled ass."

It's probably because he played one too many games without a helmet. I hope I can be that for my daughter when she gets to that age. Right now I answer her questions with "no shit no sugar" and the only difference than what @Lora_C did and I hope to do, is to do it a little sooner. And maybe someday when my daughter turns 18, I will show her this place and what I have written about and make up her own mind about the person I am or hope to be remembered by her.

Whether she reads what I wrote with a "wow" or an "ewww" will depend on how I raise her to view sex. That is in about 12 years from now and how she views sex will basically be a result of how well or how fucked up I taught her to feel about herself and what she is worth.

She is becoming tactful, as far as a 6 year old can be, and no one can blame me for that. I just hope that if and when she reads about her mom here, that she will see that her mom really did care.

Even if "ol' mom" was pretty fucked up herself.

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Hopefully zity.biz will be here by then, but in the mean time I need to find a better way to download entire topics or threads without some of the copy and paste things I've been doing.

One "toy" of mine I did use on my older daughter was a riding crop she asked me for S&M and bondage lessons years ago...Her figuring out NOT to say "OW" when I struck her took a few attempts on her part. I struck her a number of times and she said it was the longest hour of her life.

Did that longest hour of her life and lightly flogged breast deter her or did she remain a keen student.

Did that longest hour of her life and lightly flogged breast deter her or did she remain a keen student.

She was NOT lightly flogged! I swung the riding crop the way I would on anybody who needed to be disciplined. I will say that a riding crop creates more noise than pain when it hits the skin, although you do know you have been struck.

She knew her father and I did S&M activities since she was 11-12 years old and she had seen our fully stocked equipment room when she was 15 along with her sister who was 12, so she knew what was going on behind closed doors, not to mention the time she walked in on us when she came home a day early from a friend's Thanksgiving weekend party when she was 15. In our family, she is known as "The Adventurer" and her younger sister is "The Voice". It used to be "The Mouth of the house" or just "The Mouth," but when she was in college, she told us to make it "The Voice." Yes, they are both very good students in all their endeavors.

I'm pretty sure my mom never used any of my sex toys. I know she has her own.

I found my younger sister using one of mine when she was 15 (she's 3 years younger) so we had a little fight about it and a chat the hygiene aspect. She told me she'd washed it so after I threw it out I bought her one of her own

She was NOT lightly flogged! I swung the riding crop the way I would on anybody who needed to be disciplined. I will say that a riding crop creates more noise than pain when it hits the skin, although you do know you have been struck.

She knew her father and I did S&M activities since she was 11-12 years old and she had seen our fully stocked equipment room when she was 15 along with her sister who was 12, so she knew what was going on behind closed doors, not to mention the time she walked in on us when she came home a day early from a friend's Thanksgiving weekend party when she was 15. In our family, she is known as "The Adventurer" and her younger sister is "The Voice". It used to be "The Mouth of the house" or just "The Mouth," but when she was in college, she told us to make it "The Voice." Yes, they are both very good students in all their endeavors.

I remember that day. Adventurer was in a bit of a daze that morning. She was not used to being struck by either of us, so that instructive time was an eye-opener for her.