Since I almost always self administer, I actually don't say much. Sometimes I will whisper or just above a whisper self- talk.
If I do say anything it's just thinking aloud.
It's what I need to carry out the enema.
"OK, gotta get these clothes off"
"Should I leave the bra on or not?"
"Did I wash My bath robe?"
I put the bath robe on
"Is the hot and the cold water mixed well, does the bag feel even temperature?"
"I'm on the clock. How long since the oral bisacodyl?"
"Gotta get that bisacodyl Suppository in!, YUUUCK!"
"Is it up high enough"
"Time to go pee!"
"OK the bag is hung, Am I sure I have the right of nozzle?"
"Is the nozzle all the way on? CHECK!"
"How many minutes since the suppository?"
"Damn, time to get into position!"
"Are both knees on the pillow Are they the right distance apart?"
"Is the other pillow under my breasts?"
"Is my weight on the chest and shoulders, not on the head or neck?"
"Is my bite rag where I can get to it fast? It is now!!!"
"Where's the goddamn hose ? There it is! Got it!"
"Is my butthole relaxed?" Do I feel the nozzle in the right place?" Is it pointed towards the belly button?"
"This part ALWAYS feels weird"
OK, double check and make sure it's all the way in!!!
"Have I got the valve?"
"What time is it?"
"So, 3 minutes flowing, then 15 retained, I'll be running at?"
"Try hard to breathe as deep as I can! Again! Do I need another one? NO!, OK Then Breathe in, can I get a little more air in my lungs? NO!"
"Open the valve, breathe out and then let the enema tell me how to breathe!! (Click)"
"OK, give it a few seconds!"
"Damn here it comes! Don't fight it now, just relax and let it run! Let it run! OK, this time it's not hurting, so a good start!"
"How many minutes? Oh shit, not even two!!!" OK< it went to 2 minutes as I was looking at it. Damn, I need that bite rag!" (Eyes usually closed at this point, Might sort of squeeze the bite rag, but not in the mouth yet)
(Eyes now open!)"Three minutes!" (look up at the bag) "Just a little more!" (Look away) "Is it flat now?"
"Great! I'm there! Ya did it grrrrrl!"
" Here comes a wave!" This one I can just clench up, not that bad!" Not bad right now, a little bloated!"
" UUUUHH, UUUUUHH, UUUUHHHHh"
After a couple more of those, I'm telling myself to deep breathe, and maybe twisting the bite rag. Then, clenching up. even with the nozzle still in, doesn't cut it and I have to start the deep breathing
"UUUUHHH, Why do I do this??"
"How long? 7 minutes! Half way there!"
Every enema is different but usually by this time I AM biting down on the bite rag.
"UUUUUHH, UUUUHH, UUUUHH!"
"Am I gonna make it? 'Damnit GRRRL you WILL make it!!! you fasted since noon yesterday for this, don't fuck it up NOW!! You've come too far to have to do it over' Yeah! I'll make 15, but no more!!"
"How much time left? 5 minutes! I'm in the home stretch!!!! I'm gonna make it, but it won't be fun!"
"4 minutes, With any luck at all the 3rd round hopefully will give me a clear return! Hopefully round 2 will be easier!! Damn! But really! This one has not been bad!"
"Two minutes!! Deep breathing has stopped working! I'm getting a little leakage around the nozzle! Just bite down and hang on!!! It'll be OK!!!
"15 minutes is HERE NOW!!! Get up, grab the bag and get to the toilet NOW!!!"
At that point I hang above the toilet for a second or two and remove the nozzle then it's sit and let it come at it's own pace over 20 minutes or so.
After 15 minutes or so, I'm thinking about how long until the oral bisacodyl kicks in>